I have so many shows, I haven’t watched a single film since they came back from the winter break. I will cry when Parenthood ends. American Horror Story and Bad Judge just ended. Eye Candy made the list. Greys, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder are all back next week. Then Nashville, and Bates Motel and Bones are back in March.

Parenthood 6.12

Lauren Graham performed Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game and that’s all I’m gonna say. Kristina looking at her latest accomplishment – which was probably the last scene at Chambers. I cried I cried and I went to the store and bought mansize klinex for next week’s finale.

That didn’t stop you before going into music business.
It’s gotta be you, Mr. Braverman.
I have some serious doubts about success of this school if you’re gonna tach cooking.
I always thought I’d get married at a volcano.
Did he just say volcano?
I always thought I’d have my second wedding at a volcano.
Excuse me? What’s happening? Are we going?
Of course I’m with you. I’m always with you.
Where’s the baby?
Yeah, that text was confusing.
There’s no rush.
What was special about it was Adam and I.
You slept with people? How many people? For a record, I didn’t sleep with people.
You’re beautiful to look at. Very beautiful. But also on the inside.
It doesn’t matter what you cook, since you’re gonna end up unemployed anyway.
Hey, you’re playing our song.
Something shifts and you’ll figure it out.
You’re my hero.
You still got it.
Mr Gangi, what exactly are your intentions with my daughter with those teeth?
If you hadn’t stolen my knife in the first place, none of it would have happened.
I just wanna make sure that my dad is there.
Don’t cry, I don’t like when you cry.
Amber, you’re a mommy.
I want you to meet your great grandson, Zeek.
Hi, Zeek.

10/10

SVU 16.12

I hate when SVU is not really SVU. We need SVU cases to know it’s gonna be okay, not some Amaro’s father bullshit, especially if he got away with it.

In order to heal, we have to let go.
Oh so you’ve forgiven your father or William Lewis?
Wow.
I’m sorry.
Daddy come quick they’re fighting.
So she deserved it. Just like you did.
Maybe this is just another nightmare from your childhood.
Detective would you say you have your own anger issues?
He’s my son. He has his issues.
The jury’s back.
After 20 minutes?
Finally stood up to your old man.
I would never lay a hand on her. I’m not you.

6/10

Revenge 4.13

Victoria offered her life for Emily’s! I see I wasn’t the only one stunned when that happened. It’s all revenge fandom can talk about on Tumblr. Well, this and Nolan’s wedding, but I don’t mind it Nolan and Louis turned out to be great friends even though they’ve known each other for two weeks or so. Why does Victoria say she has nothing left? What about Charlotte and her other son? Where is her other son anyway? Conrad is dead so he can come back and I know they’re trying to sell us Nolan’s bisexuality, but no one is buying it. The whole episode I kept thinking, If they beat Emily up, Victoria has no chance of survival.

Who as it turns out is Emily.
Who would have thought after all that was said and done, you and I would die together.
To stage a greving mother’s suicide.
I thought I’d sacrifice myself to buy you and Emily more time.
Revenge is a dangerous game.

10/10

American Horror Story 4.13

What a beautiful finale. Glad to see a happy ending, very similar to the Haunted House’s, and not a depressing one like Asylum and Coven’s.I knew all of the freaks would die and Elsa too. That’s why we had Dandy. But with every shot my heart wss breaking and I kept saying ‘Come on’ through a tight throat. Elsa comitting a suicide by performing on Halloween was so fitting. They could not have written a better ending. But why would the film that portrays her as a victim hurt her? Why would she be ruined? The film didn’t show her as a masochist, I think they started rolling when she was lying in the bed completely out of it and then having her legs cut off. I know it’s the early 60s, but I think the only think that would change is that everyone would feel sorry for her but I don’t think any less people would watch, even though we all know in the 50s-60s you had to be perfect to make it.

Audiences want a new type of freak.
You’re boring. You’re never be one of us.
What kind of place is this?
Hollywood.
My name is Elsa Mars.
Showtime.
I always thought babies to be boring, but freak babies!
You didn’t think we’d lay in bed with you after you’ve massacred our entire family.
Were you poorly trained? You’re not allowed to sit at the table with us.
It’s got to be theatrical.
I felt so blessed to finally have friends and you took them all.
You’re the biggest freak of them all.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
First of all, this coffee tastes like shit.
I said I will not perform on Halloween.
I’m bored and I’m alone.
I’ve always been cursed. First by having my dreams ripped away and now I’m cursed by having them all come true.
I’ll become just some sad footnote in Hollywood’s history?
They’re all dead.
What? All of them?
Some kind of massacre. Bodies found in a mass grave.
I’ve changed my mind. I will perform on Halloween. Why not? I may as well go out with a bang.
Why she stopped singing?
This is a suicide. How deep your pain must be, my love.
I’m the biggest freak of all.
Your place is not with us.
It’s like you’ve always said, sweetheart. Stars never pay.
Am I to perform?
The brightest and the best there ever was and will be.

10/10

Bad Judge 1.13

Just when I got used to these characters. I love that it ended exactly the same way it started – with Rebecca being a complete mess. Goodbye, Bad Judge, I’ll miss you.

Car wash.
There we go.
May just ask your name?
It’s spelled…
Hopefuly we can get address till lunch.
I’ll call one of my orher friends. You know, my friend Ross, Monica’s cool, Chandler, god, could he be so funny?
We’re grown ups. Punching is called battery and they’ll take you to jail for it.
The woman has enough alcohol.
It’s like an emergency tent at Coachella.
If she serves anything, it definitely has herpies.
What!?
No you can’t arrest me today!
The next day, you are the authority, the van’s gone.
I need you to cover a case for me.
Objection. We get.
Sustained.
Did you eat for the food, didn’t pay for the food?
Be seated.

10/10

Cougar Town 6.03

Great episode. Reminded me of the great ones from the early seasons when everything was Jules/Ellie.

They’re screwed.
Actually, I’ll take the compliment.
What’s the challenging part?
Oh, I’m not hearing a problem.
S’up Perv’stach.
I had to use both hands.
It might have been the alcohol.
Yeah! And we gve it to them.
We’re out of 3 grand.
Bless you.
Are you calling me a liar?
Are you ready to sex up this joint?
Sure is, baby.
Is that right?
It’s you. My new Bobby. It’s you!
Why you’re being creepier than usual?

8.5/10

Castle 7.12

Witty, but very average. Brad from Gilmore Girls plays the hotel personnel.

And not see Castle.
I’m looking for a private detective.
She’s absolutely right a d completely unbiased.
Canvasing? Or you mean that thing you let Ryan and Espo do.
What was the strange thing you’ve noticed.
That smoking hot detective was asking about the same thing too.
But this UBS drive.
I have my operative looking into other clues.
Maybe your opinion’s not so objective.
This is not my limo.
What’s her name?
Havier.

5.5/10

Shameless 5.02

What an episode, hands down, Shameless is back. Fiona proved she is chaos. Getting punched twice in the same day by two diffrent strangers may be the exact definition of chaos.

Did you leave either kid on the porch and went on a drug run?
Just like these asholes who don’t speak English are doing.
Let me get my pepper spray.
He’s one block over at Sheila’s.
More butter.
Apologise to my waitress.
I think Chucky is moderly retarted. Someone should tell Sammy.
I hope it’s better than his sad display of mentally disabled art.
He was with two very clean lesbians.
Double? It has scam written all over it.
Terrible fucking idea.
Did they offer cash upfront? Cash today?
She has a good nose for scam.
I don’t think you’re invited.
Why you done with the public pool? Someone shit in it? Someone shit om you?
I don’t know this feeling. It’s hate. I hate your daughter, Frank.
You look really pretty, Mandy.
Hi, I really need to talk to the priest.
Did you take something?
A job for illegal immigrants and ex cons.
I need to go to the alibi. Job requirement.
I’m gonna want you for that.
You’re a chaos junkie.
Why was there a hooker’s tit in mu baby’s mouth!?
It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.
It’s a starbucks.
Gentrification.
Genital what?
14 will get you 20.

10/10

Switched at Birth 4.03

I almost cried and rewinded three times when Daphne introduced John as her dad. I feel for Iris, she made a great point, she helped Daphne study and found her an interpreter, yet she didn’t get help in return.

What’s your favorite horror film?
Psycho.
Happy 50ish birthday.
Have you ever been convicted of a fellony?
Forensic evidence? Are you a criminology major?
Charity work?
Environmental clean up.
I didn’t know that made sound.
How do you know John Kennish?
He’s my dad.
I’m just the dumb hearing girl wno no one wants to slow down enough to talk to.
This kid has a future in baseball and I’m gonna help him.
It’s ASL, when everyone’s together, I’m all lost.
Stop it.
Make me.

6.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 5.16

Isn’t it hilarious how this show used to be just something to watch in the background for four years and now it’s the only way to get through Wednesday? How boring my life must have gotten over the year that I’m actually looking forward to every new episode? I watch it before Cougar Town and Switched at Birth. I almost cannot say a bad word about it anymore. The show is satisfying without Alison. I really hope Mona is in that barrell, as I did not see it coming.

Aria, this is the letter you wrote to Jackie.
You’re mad that I bailed or that I walked in on your wild college weekend.
Oh you can’t find the copy of the invoice?
So your boyfriend’s a cop.
From Mona Vandervaal.
You sound really echoey, like you’re in an airduct.
That’s because I am in an airduct.
He’s keeping it to build a case against one of us.
That she’s in there.
Mona was a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.
I like him and like him with you.
It’s just a bunch of kids sitting on bunk beds trying to figure out what yo do with the rest of their lives.
Hanna, it’s rented in your name and I’m pretty sure that Mona’s body is hidden inside of it.

6/10

Eye Candy 1.02

Camera doesn’t lie.
You wanna taste?

3/10