Category Archives: Lauren Graham

Goodnight Mommy. Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life. Fender Bender. Trolls. National Lampoon’s Vacation. Inside Out. Layover. A Christmas Horror Story. The Disappointments Room. Barricade. Scathing.

16 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by in Lauren Graham, movies

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goodnight-mommymiddleschool fenderr

Goodnight Mommy

This and The Babadook are nothing as they seem. Both advertised as horror, but in fact, psychological. Beautiful scenery, eerie and mind-blowing at times. Pay attention before the opening title and you’ll have an easy understanding of the film. Ideal for fans of psychological thrillers, horrors or foreign cinema.

7/10

Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life

‘The Worst Years of My Life’ is a film about an artsy and rebellious teenager Rafe based on the Middle School book series by James Patterson. Yes, the same Patterson who wrote the Alex Cross series, including the phenomenal Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider! ‘Movie School’ is shockingly deep and insightful for a family film, I was nicely surprised by the ‘brother’ twist. I’m glad little Mason from Private Practice is doing well and it’s always a pleasure to see Lauren Graham. I have never read the Middle School series, but it seems to be the boy version of Jim Benton’s Dear Dumb Diary series, which I loved growing up. After you finish watching Middle School, go grab Dear Dumb Diary.

6/10

Fender Bender

A middle-aged guy purposely bumps into a teenager’s car. The girl (Makenzie Vega known for The Good Wife and The Assault) takes pictures of the damages and the guy. Her disappointed parents forbid her from going on a trip with them and leave her alone for the night. Despite the main character being an absolute moron, the storyline kept me engaged. Fender Bender takes a slightly different direction than the usual ‘forced road accident’ based horrors, as the attacker follows the character home. Why would she not be panicking about the assailant taking pictures of her in the shower and stupidly dive into a present he left for her, no one knows. It could have been such a good flick. I have described this title to my horror obsessed friends, and I recommend this title to all slasher fans.

6.5/10

trolls vacation inside-out

Trolls

Clearly aimed at an audience of 3-year-olds, who don’t need a plot to follow, just a couple of shiny, colorful, sparkly things to look at. It wasn’t clear why they remade so many classic songs instead of writing an entirely new soundtrack. Shockingly the cinema was packed when it came out, there were around 150 kids under 12 waiting with their parents in and outside the cinema, I bet 90 percent of them came out disappointed. If you’re looking for a recent animated feature worth checking out, go with Zootopia, or The Secret Life of Pets.

3/10

National Lampoon’s Vacation

‘Christmas Vacation’ was ten times better. At least this one had John Candy in it, for a couple of rollercoaster rides, but still. Uncertain how to feel about the angry dog being killed and later grandma dying, but the film as a whole was not that funny.

3/10

Inside Out

Some of the animation, particularly Joy’s character, was so bright, it was impossible to look at the screen. The film is clearly aimed at very young audience, pre-school or early school years at most. The film earned an Academy Award for best animation, which gives me hope for Zootopia, which was twice this good and the animation was ten times better.

5/10

layove  a-christmas-horror

Layover

What the hell with this poster?! This was not in the film. The movie would have been so much better if it was. For a Lifetime film, Layover wasn’t a complete disaster, even though I couldn’t stand the annoying model wannabes. Consider watching another Lauren Holly film where the film also takes place on a plane, Turbulence, instead. Was that a ride.

4/10

A Christmas Horror Story

Nicely surprised, as it was so much better than the very average 2015 Christmas horror sensation ‘Krampus’ and the ending was just perfect.

3/10

 

dissapointments-room barricade scathing

The Disappointment Room

No greater disappointment than this film. How could Wentworth Miller write the genius psychological thriller The Stoker and then such a crappy horror?

1/10

Barricade

So it wasn’t a horror? What a waste of time. And it started off pretty good, the ending though, disastrous.

1/10

Scathing

I always have faith in low-budget indie horror films, and I have myself to blame for that, but once a while those are the films that surprise us. Scathing was not that film. It was just awful. I watched this Irish horror ‘In Fear’ the same day, equally low budget and independent, very similar, yet much better. Try In Fear instead.

0.5/10

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Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life: Review

30 Wednesday Nov 2016

Posted by in gilmore girls, Lauren Graham, tv series

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Fantastic, emotional, heartbreaking. Exactly what I expected. ‘A Year in the Life’ follows Lorelai and Rory Gilmore nine years after the original series concluded. Within the first seconds, we breathe a sigh of relief as we see that Stars Hollow, the loveliest, most magical little town ever pictured on screen, has not changed a bit. The show itself has the exact amount of wit and charm as the original. The highly anticipated ‘last four words’ left me in pieces. And to think that that’s how the original Gilmore Girls would have ended. Back in 2007, I was afraid this would happen as nothing seemed more fitting. I was relieved when the new writers chose a different direction. The ending is not as shocking today, as Rory is all grown up now. That doesn’t stop me from being a complete mess. What’s worse after the revival finished, I was relieved because somehow I thought the cliffhanger can only mean season two. Only the next day, I realized that was Amy Sherman-Palladino’s way of saying goodbye. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the revival, but the last four words…man. They could have written ‘it’ in somewhere in the middle and at least we would see Lorelai’s proper reaction, Rory’s decision, Emily’s reaction!, the town’s reaction! It would have been heavenly. I really hope for another four episodes next year. I may write a separate review on the revival, but as a whole, I loved it! Everyone stepped in their old shoes so smoothly, especially Lauren Graham. So many memorable scenes, my favorite include Lorelai apologizing to Emily for her drunk behavior and Emily telling her she’s always hated their family; Luke begging Lorelai not to leave him; Lorelai finally remembering an anecdote about her father and so many more. Lorelai making a fool of herself like she did many times in the original series, made me feel right at home. I was really sad about Sookie changing her plans and not wanting to stay at the Dragonfly. I was highly disappointed with most of Rory’s storyline, but at least it was realistic. It was nice to see some familiar Parenthood and Bunheads faces. Please let there be a second season.

Fathers and Daughters. Anesthesia. Miss You Already. Max. The Barefoot Executive. Bushwacked. The 33. Vacation. Wicked Little Things. The Killing Room. Charming Christmas. Indigenous. Jamie Marks is Dead.

14 Sunday Feb 2016

Posted by in Lauren Graham, movies, parenthood

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A bigger post, cause I owe you so many reviews. Don’t worry, they’re coming this month.

Fathers and Daughters

I did not like the direction it took, but we all know there’s usually a reason for girls to sleep around. I expected the film to be a little more emotional, but I’m still glad I reached for it. Why would Amanda’s character give that original script away? It’s such a nice little souvenir from her dad. Little Minx from The Whispers is definitely one of the kid actors to look out for.

7/10

Anesthesia

Dull characters of five separate stories that don’t exactly interact the way they should. The film should focus on the Professor’s life only, not his stiff family. How he taught, helped Kristen’s character in starting her recovery and him being stabbed. The writer of this film thought ‘oh let’s see how many problems can we fit into the film and maybe we’ll find some sort of deeper meaning at the end’. Why all the secondary characters? Why spend 1/3 of the film on the addict who tried to help the professor at the end? I watched it when I read about the attack, and honestly the attack itself, professor’s retirement speech, and Kristen’s self harm storyline were the only profound-like elements.

6.5/10

Miss You Already

We all have that one slutty friend who sleeps around, and has weird sexual encounters which put them in trouble. The film was pretty much what I expected, even though I thought it would be lighter and more uplifting, and giving some piece of hope to people who are left to deal with a loss of their loved ones. None of the characters were especially likeable, and I think it’s true that you need to leave someone behind for a while if they’re in one of their crazy spirals, so they don’t drag you down with them, but on the other hand, that’s not what a best friend would do, but there’s only so much a person can take. I heard two other actresses were supposed to play Drew Barrymore’s character but dropped out due to scheduling conflicts. Rachel Weisz was one of them, and boy would I have loved this film so much more if Rachel starred in it! Just imagine it… Toni Collette and Rachel Weisz playing friends? Yes please! We surely missed out on something special! The other actress who was considered for the Drew Barrymore role was Jennifer Aniston. I still would have liked her better for this. I hope she dropped it for Cake, not Horrible Bosses 2.

6/10

Max

What a enjoyable drama/adventure/family film. Yes all three in one, which doesn’t happen that often anymore. I honestly don’t think it could be much better. The final woods scene is captivating and I bet It’ll stay on minds of many pre and 13teens, like Bridge to Terabithia did on mine. The ending credits are accompanied by a rendition of Bob Dylan’s Forever Young. The film also stars Lauren Graham, who portrayed one of the main characters on Parenthood. And Parenthood has a legendary theme song, that just happens to be Forever Young. A coincidence? Maybe, but also a nice touch for someone who misses their weekly dose of tears Parenthood never failed to provide. I like Lauren as a mom, in Max she tried to get her husband and son to reunite while mourning the loss of her son, and she’s definitely the selling argument here. Max is a delight to watch I would recommend for entire family. I’ll show it to mine, and hopefully they’ll adore it as much as I did.

‘A hero always tells the truth no matter what people think about him or no matter what the consequences are. And you have always been that way Justin.’

‘Dad’s left a really weird message and disappeared.
Let’s do this.
Max… go search.’

8/10

The Barefoot Executive

Most of the time I’m disappointed with the films they give us on Netflix UK. I know Americans are getting all these nice titles and over 70 new films a day, and we the British get only one or two really crappy ones per day, and every other day we don’t get anything at all. The Barefoot Detective comes off Netflix tomorrow, so I have just finished watching it. It is a really witty Disney film from ’71. It gets funnier by the end when everyone assumes two TV executives want to jump off a building, when it’s the titled monkey who locked them out. Their own TV station films it all live and it’s just amusing. ‘They took it of the air and I don’t even know what happened to John’ don’t we all TV obsessed people know it oh so well. I was disappointed when the main character let them buy him off, but it’s a family film, so it all ended well.

‘We interrupt to bring you a special newscast of a sensational suicide try on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles. Our special UBC helicopter enables us to bring you an exclusive close-up view of the pair attempting suicide. These pictures, live from the scene.’
‘There you are. Another first for UBC. Oh, no!’

6/10

Bushwhacked

Not as funny as I expected it to be, would it be better if I watched it as a kid? Maybe if I was a scout. Did they really take the charges away and gave him an award for basically kidnapping the kids? Family films are so outlandish sometimes. Also, I think that was Patty form The Leftovers.

‘Ok, it’s two longs and one short.’
‘No, no, no, stop. Stop wait. Two shorts and one long.
‘Oh great! What are we supposed to do, cross that letter out?’

‘What is this, a parade? Come on! Would you move your wrinkled asses? I’m in a hurry here! Ha ha, I’m gonna run you over!’

‘Oh my God, we’re trapped with a murderer!’
‘A psycho murderer!
 ‘I don’t think they cover that in the manual!’

3/10

The 33

The Chile mine catastrophe starring Antonio Banderas and Juliette Binoche. I thought it was wonderful, and It left me tear-y eyed through most of it. It’s unbelievable that after 69 days all 33 of them made it out of the mine.

8/10

Vacation

Chevy Chase is 72? Where did the time go? Vacation is the continuation of the Vacationseries, but now starring  Clark’s son. The film reminded me of The Millers, probably, because of the road trip, just minus the fun parts, but with the awkward mother-son-sister kissing the whole 90 minutes instead. Most of the jokes were cheap, and did not remind me of the original Vacations at all. Puking and swimming in a waste lake are cheap tricks you pull when you run out of ideas. And honestly, the excessive puking only worked in Pitch Perfect, and while we’re at it, excessive shitting, in Bridesmaids. Why would the driver follow them all the way? Wouldn’t a normal person write down their registration number and called the cops? The opening and ending scenes were probably my favorite. I also liked the little brother swearing all the time. The film tried to be as funny as the original Vacations, but it failed miserably. To music lovers, Julian Casablancas wrote and sang one of the songs in the soundtrack, called 11th Dimension. Check it out if you like The Strokes.

‘This is some bullshit right here!’

‘Stop saying weird shit like that!’

2/10

The Killing Room

Similar to The Circle, but I wish the control room people would not pick who dies themselves, and they’d actually let the victims choose. Why wouldn’t families know where they went, at least one person most have told someone. Most of them did have an emergency contact, so how would none of them say they’re gonna be under this or this address. I liked it till they said it was a government project training American suicide bombers, what? That ruined the whole film for me. Would you sign up for an experiment you would not know the rules of just to get 250 dollars?

5/10

Wicked Little Things

It was a little all over the place, and you’d think the little zombies would go after people responsible for their death not kids and teenagers.

5/10

Charming Christmas

I have been following Julie Benz’s career since Dexter, well at least most of it, I have never seen Defiance or much Buffy and many other films, but I’ve seen a couple, and by some weird coincidence, I watched 3 films of hers in the last 3 weeks. If you’re patient, you’ll eventually see my notes on The Circle, which I thought was an incredible thriller, and The Search for Sophie Parker, which everyone who follows sex crimes in papers and their portrayal in films and tv, should watch. Charming Christmas, also starring David Sutcliffe, or Christopher from Gilmore Girls, was sweet and charming, and that’s about it. I see this pattern with Hallmark’s Christmas films, there’s no backbone in their stories. Even though there is one Hallmark Christmas film I actually loved (Christmas Detour), all of their other Christmas films are just bad romcoms with pairings that don’t even go well together. The storyline is almost never meaningful or interesting, it’s always just ‘finding love for Christmas’ or ‘saving Christmas’, which is not challenging enough even for lovely women who’s favorite film genre is romantic comedy. Charming Christmas was all of that, and I thought David’s character was trying to over-charm us all. No guy is that charming, and just because he loves Christmas? What about the friends/workers with their boring back stories? Who cares that some worker of the main character is a dancer and broke her leg and wants to dance?  They were just trying to fill the holes in the script in, so it reaches 90 minutes. Also, was that Jake Epstein from Degrassi?

3.5/10

Indigenous

It should have just been the biography of the blogger who got killed in one of Panama’s passages almost 3 years ago. If not, why even mention it? It’s not like the creatures took him. This was just like any other woods based horror, with The Descent’s inbreed, blind creatures. It should have just ended with them being killed, they should have skipped posting it on YouTube and declaring sightings of these creatures all over the US, but that’s low budget horror, it can almost never be just right.

5/10

Jamie Marks is Dead

I did not know Cameron Monaghan (Ian from Shameless) was in it until I watched it. I picked this film up because of the cover, and I just felt like a thriller/mystery film. The movie was disappointing, don’t ask me how can you be friends with a ghost, or touch it, I don’t think they’ve been doing any Casper film since the 90s. Why would you run away with a ghost? Why would your girlfriend be okay with you running in the woods with some ghost? Why were Liv Tyler and Judy Greer even in the film? They didn’t bring anything to the storyline. The ending was just as slow paced as the rest of the film, and I think it would have made more sense if Jamie was actually – spoiler – murdered.

5/10

Bones 11.01. Bones 11.02. Bones 11.03. Greys 12.03. SVU 17.03. SVU 17.04. Castle 8.03. Downton Abbey 7.03. Grandfathered 1.02. Scream Queens 1.03. Scream Queens 1.04. Scream Queens 1.05. Nashville 4.01. Nashville 4.02. Scandal 5.02. How To Get Away With Murder 2.02. How To Get Away With Murder 2.03. Faking It 2.17. Faking It 2.18. The Simpsons 27.03. The Simpsons 27.04 & Why I’m quitting AHS

30 Friday Oct 2015

Posted by in american horror story, bones, castle, downton abbey, faking it, gilmore girls, grandfathered, greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, Jessica Lange, Kelli Giddish, Lauren Graham, lost, Mariska Hargitay, nashville, scandal, scream queens, special victims unit, the simpsons, the whispers, tv series

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Hi guys, welcome back to liveoffmovies. Fall Season is in its full and I’ve been taking my sweet time not posting my reviews. My bad. I was working two shifts, focusing on an internship, I only yesterday realized, I did not want. Plus I was busy moving to my new house. Now that it’s all mostly done, here are some long overdue reviews. The rest of the episodes (over 30 now!) will be posted later next week, once I do my taxes and figure out how to fill in the new expenses form and buy a washing machine and get everything not working in my new house fixed. Uff listing all of these was tiring enough. Thankfully only half of the shows I watch premiered new episodes this week, and Switched at Birth is already on a break, so I’ll have time to catch up with my posting schedule very soon.

First of, Gilmore Girls is coming back! GG got a revival! First Full House, now Gilmore Girls. Thanks, Netflix. Life is good.

Second of all, The Whispers was cancelled. Now we’ll never know what happened to Claire and the kids.

Thirdly, let’s talk about the new season of AHS and why I’ve decided to quit it. I am a huge horror freak and I have always been, but at the same time I have never been a fan of the vampirism genre. I couldn’t follow Buffy or Charmed, never started True Blood or Vampire Diaries. There are a few vampire films that I have enjoyed, like Nosferatu, The Hunger, Fright Night, The Lost Boys, Dracula, 30 Days of Night, or Stake Island, but not enough to explore the genre any further. Furthermore, I am a huge fan of Jessica Lange, and watching the first two episodes of the series, I kept thinking of who her character would be. What we were most scared of, happened. The show got bad without Jessica. The first four seasons were relatable to some extend, season two, even though, my favorite, the least. There are a few shows that I had to talk myself into watching for a couple of episodes, and then, continued watching, because it would be weird to stop. I have tried watching the first episode of the fifth series twice, and that has barely ever happened before. Pilots are supposed to be the intriguing, or even the best episodes. And finally, to quote my father, I have no time for some mediocre fairytale that does not concern me. Which is why, I say goodbye to American Horror Story, at least till next year.

Bones 11.01

I have been disapointed with Bones for the last couple of seasons, probably since season 7, as nothing new ever happened. I am furious that no one is mourning Booth’s brother, because I still remember when season 4 came out and Jared helped save Booth. I remember season 4 too well, as back then the episodes were pretty spectacular, and now they’re all the same. ‘Booth was beaten as a child’ automatically reminded me of Sweets and the episode when he accidentaly showed B&B his back, and Brennan talked about the foster parents who used to lock her up, and now I’m getting nostalgic over, yet again, season 4. Kim Raver guest stars, I’m not sure she’s done anything else than 24 after Teddy left to Germany on Greys.

Please leave me with the bones.
Booth was beaten as a child.
It’s Booth’s brother.
I have more questions than answers which is unusual.
That one is Booth’s.

7/10

Bones 11.02

Very disapointing. Also, Kim Raver’s character did not bring anything to the storyline. Why hire her then?

That’s Jared in there, my brother.
Bones, I’m okay.
This is who you’re geniuenly are.

4/10

Bones 11.03

Who knows what the case was about. Also, gross, I couldn’t eat and I always eat while watchinhg Bones.

Daddy’s looking for uncle Jared.
You aranged a show for me?
How she got in and out of the crib.

3/10

Greys 12.03

Season 12 is not as good as we wished it t be.

Someone invited you to your ex boyfriend’s wedding? So rude.
I can’t have sex with you.
No.
I really do like her, she makes me the not so crazy sister.
What do you think they’re paying her?
Izzie anted to freeze her eggs.

7/10

SVU 17.04

The cases are disastrous this season. Nothing new. Mariska all breathing heavily after walking up those stairs, very relatable.

Also Detective Rollins, I assume you know she’s pregnant.

4/10

SVU 17.03

The only way I could have been more shocked is if they told us Cragen is the father, instead of Declan. Good case, not told as well as we’d expect from this incredible show.

He could have killed you. You survived.
Then he raped the little girl too?

2.5/10

Castle 8.03

Entertaining, and that’s all we need from this type of show. Who knows who killed the guy though?

Hey bro, you know what frat the dead dude was from.
Dude, you look like you’re 40.
Including sending your daughter to a house of drunken fratboys, dressed like a slutty angel.
Beer pong challenge everybody.

7.5/10

Scream Queens 1.03

It was a hilarious episode, nicely surprised. Also, Texas Chainsaw ladies and gents. I absolutely adore all the ED insults. I have a friend who has quit this show saying it’s dumb, and she continues to watch AHS, while I can’t stand it. Scream Queens is light and fun, and it has Jamie Lee Curtis, and surprisingly well written for this kind of show, and I have actually missed it this week. Life is too stressful not to watch a few light shows.

It could be really anything, bulimia…
Especially when she was tweeting, ‘I’m being killed.’
Bitch is not even cute.
Don’t ask me if I wanna go, hoes.
You started freaking out when I said I wanted to sleep with your corpse.
You have that Samantha Ronson thing going on.
Find that tortured gay kid in your life and hold them close tonight.
Welcome to Film Analysis.
Which I consider to be the best film. Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Are we all running from Chainsaws of our past?
What we do with the hurt of that trauma defines who we are.
A uniform she ripped off from an ice cream stand.
The intesity of thh experience of being haunted by a psychopath has really bonded them.
You and I are moving into kappa house for a week.
My father is Charles Manson.
Bitches gather’ound.
Bitches, I would like you to meet Chanel number 6.
Chanel says I can hold her hair back on purge nights.
What’s insane are your tweets to the executive producer of the hit TV show How To Get Away With Murder.
6 months ago you tweeted @ShondaRhimes If Annalise Keating really wanted to get away with murderm she’d find a partner and work as a team.
I need to sleep with a white noise machine on.
Baboon attack.
I’ll set the machine to slasher movie and we’ll leave it at that.
Didn’t you hear the screaming?
No! I mean, yes, I heard screaming, but that’s because the white noise machine was set to slasher movie.

10/10

Nashville 4.01

Just like I thought, they couldn’t kill Deacon off.

You may not know it now, but this is the best friend you’re gonna have your whole life.
Push her in front of an upcoming traffic, I don’t care.

8/10

Nashville 4.02

Nice to see everyone appreciating Layla’s talent again. I want Jullitte’s old manager to represent her! Just imagine how far she would get with his help. Meanwhile, Will got dropped from Luke’s label for being gay. Do we want him on Highway 65? Yes!

We have a solo gig for you tomorrow night at the Bluebird.
Layla, amazing show, seriously. I was blown away.
I know you have a manager, but should that ever change, I’d like to be your first call.
I’m sorry son, I’m gonna have to drop you from the label.
You’d record my songs yourself?

7/10

Scandal 5.02

Finally something is happening. I absolutely loved the ending. The secret is out.

President is about to get Poped.
For the first time ever, President and his mistress will address the country.
My Casey could make fake photos like that in 15 minutes, she’s very good with computers.
You’ve got an alibi, Huck?
She’s making a statement, fix it.
Mr President, you don’t get to be like anyone else, that’s the job you signed up for.
You leaked these photos.
I get turned on by crime scenes.
Are you the President’s mistress?
Yes.

5.5/10

How to Get Away with Murder 2.02

Femke’s character, reminded me of Shirley Maclaine’s character in The Children’s Hour, I bet it’s gonna be one of my favorite storylines this season. Sadly, they let her go.

You screw up again, you’re gonna be the next dead body in the house.
Please explain the extent of your relationship with Mrs Keating.
If she’d been able to get into Harvard.
If not a tranqualizer.
Researching your next murder?
Let the slut shaming begin.
Always bringing me problems, never solutions.
What I did, it was for you. To take care of you.
I didn’t take care of you. I ruined you.
You needed to be saved from me.
Now go home and don’t kill anyone.
Because a part of me is still in love with you.
I hate how you make me feel, because I can’t have you.
It was good with you. And real. Too real.
But you’re the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.
I’m not saying marry me. Just think about it.

9.5/10

Downton Abbey 7.03

Everyone continues to stress about their job.

I know what a catalogue is.
Typical, 30 years of serving, one wrong move and snap, you’re out on your ear.
I can’t see the future, but then I suppose none of us can.

8/10

Scream Queens 1.04

She’s not dead. She’s haunting the campus with her fatness.
Now Zedae will win because we live in the age of Obama?
When I find a gravestone I like I get turned on and rub one out to it.
Hey, that’s my sister and she’s not a bitch. But I am.
Also not a student.
Zeade should have considered the fact that she was gonna get kidnapped.

5.5/10

Scream Queens 1.05

The Shining and The Silence of the lambs references.

Give me the exact replica of the maze from The Shining.
Apparently, one of them died or something.
Excuse me, it’s not my fault that some old guy died in the 70s.
Excuse me, than who’s fault is it?
My husband was shot in Dallas, you idiot.
Or the human mattress Nancy Reagan.
Dibbs. I’m Nancy Reagan.
You’re a weird psycho lunatic who’s gonna end up in an asylum somewhere staring at the wall.
All smartphones have GPS in the evern when they’re dead.

8/10

Grandfathered 1.02

Grandfathered got a full season and well deserved too. I gave this episode a 10, but now I don’t really see why, oh well.

You were driving and you stopped to write that down?
Let’s sit by the garbage. By the garbage!
Yeah I got it.
So you take a lot of pictures of yourself.
Thank you, it’s se;f expression, gives me a way to be artistic.
I’m gonna make instructional male up videos on youtube.
You follow her?
Since the day I met her. Sounds creepy, I’m fine with that.
Jimmy get in here, I need man to sit on.

10/10

How To Get Away With Murder 2.03

Femke is gone and we’re back to the usual boredom. I couldn’t care less about the siblings this whole season is based around.

What does sex have to do with criminal law?
Everything.
Sexual healing.
Move, find me a pervert.

2/10

Faking It 2.17

This season is ridiculous. Why am I still watching this show? Good thing it’s only 20 minutes.

When did you become such a Pretty Little Liar?
You’re a woman and you’re a gay man, let’s hear you roar.
The bi label is just a step in the coming out process.
Drunken hookup. Curious. Bi. Full blown gay. Elton John.

1.5/10

Faking It 2.18

How come this is the end of their junior year and they’re all so sexually experienced? Even in 90210 there were some virgins junior year.

What’s wrong, already screwed everything with a pulse?
We are more than our scars.
What is she doing?
No clue.
Don’t do this.
Or what?

2/10

The Simpsons 27.03

No one outfats me.

2.5/10

The Simpsons 27.04

Halloweening your house.
I’ll take this to my dad and tell him it’s his new roomate.

4/10

Happy Halloween since I won’t see you till November.

Driving Miss Daisy. Bad Santa. The Pacifier. Apollo 13. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Because I said so. Kon-Tiki. The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. The Clearing. Sweet November. Plots with a View. Lucky 13.

28 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by in Lauren Graham, movies, Naomi Watts

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Very quick reviews, as I owe you so many of them.

Driving Miss Daisy

A magical experience, everyone needs to encounter.

10/10

Bad Santa

Hands down the best Christmas film. Very dirty. My kind of humor.

I’m on my fucking lunch break, okay!?

8/10

The Pacifier

Cute kids films I’ve seen when it came out.

6.5/10

Apollo 13

A great film, yet lacking something.

9/10

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

A girly film I have always had on dvd, yet always pushed it away. You know middle school, whatever girly, may kill you. My mom liked it much more than I did.

5/10

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2

Worse than the first one, my mom still liked it more than anything else.

4/10

Because I said so

The last scene with the cake falling on the pedestrian’s head is worth seeing the whole film.

3/10

Kon-Tiki

The scenery is everything in this film.

7/10

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

Surprisingly well done.

8/10

The Clearing

Average.

6/10

Sweet November

What a mess.

3/10

Plots with a View

Funny, very British in a good way.

5/10

Lucky 13

If this was supposed to be sweet, it was not.

1.5/10

Parenthood 6.13. Greys 11.09. Revenge 4.14. Cougar Town 6.04. Shameless 5.03. Switched at Birth 4.04. Pretty Little Liars 5.17. The Simpsons 26.11. Eye Candy 1.03. Scandal 4.10. How to Get Away With Murder 1.10

01 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by in cougar town, Ellen Pompeo, greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, Lauren Graham, Madeleine Stowe, parenthood, pretty little liars, revenge, scandal, shameless, switched at birth, the simpsons, tv series

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Parenthood 6.13

Extremely exhausted from crying over that beautifully painful finale. The Bravermans will always be my family. Zeek died and Camille went to France by herself. And she probably loved it there just as much as Zeek said she would. One of my most favorite moments from the finale. I was hoping Jason would make an exception and give us a happy finale and the series would end with the wedding, but he couldn’t because this is Parenthood, a tears is the one word the show is associated with. It was a tearfully beautiful finale and it could have not been written any better. Trying to deal with the loss by writing the lyrics to Forever Young on every notebook I own. Good thing I’ve known them for six years. Goodbye, Parenthood, I love you.

Have I been a good father?
The very best.
I’ll be Adam and you’ll be Crosby.
Zeek? Zeek?
May you stay forever young.

10/10

Greys 11.09

Weakest episode of the season. We all know nothing is going to be wrong with Japril’s baby. This isn’t Amelia and her unicorn baby. I doubt it very much that Shonda is going to play it this dangerously again. Don’t ask me why the new surgeon isn’t taking the surgery she needs. And I’m not sure what’s happening with Merder, but a job offer being a burden on a marriage is one very realistic plot. What happens when you put your work over family? Does it have a chance of surving?

Maybe she needed a nanny. (My kind of humor, Mer)
Your wife was the driver.
Big deal. My husband left me and I’m here.
You’re a kid.
Before she left she said something about Derek and I and she was right.
I need a person, who’s going to be in it with me.
Did I tell you, it’s a boy?
This isn’t us. This isn’t how we end, right?
The shock response has protected us and it might have just saved us.

4.5/10

Revenge 4.14

Nothing better than Emily gping undercover, but other than that, possibly the weakest episode of the season. Emily and Ben, really?

Happy Birthday, baby.
I’m new here.
You’re most certainly are.
You’ve been Emily for?
11 years.
Focus on the blade.
Your husband with that pool boy.
You just failed the first test.
I guess it’s true what they say. You marry uoir husband’s friends.
Or the original my husband found.
I can’t just be Amanda Clarke.
I’m cutting you and your campaign off my money.

6/10

Cougar Town 6.04

All episodes should be this good. Jules even bumped herself with her own car.

I’m free.
Shocking.
Let me plan Stan’s birthday and you don’t have to go.
Deal.
Ble.
Before boning a dude…
He’s a doctor, it’s good to have him around, in case Grayson and I fell asleep from having such an uneventful night.
What are you doing there? Why are you inside the house?
Because it’s not not hard spitting out skank tweets to idiots.
What’s a retweet? Is that good?
A little late, dude.
I guess. I’ll just go stand in the yard.
Sup’ sad.
So I brought a translator.
How sup’s.
OMG. My brain is stuck. My brain is tots stuck.
We did it again.
You’ve gone full Daniel Day Lewis.
No I’m never doing that. You’re a horrible actor.
I’m fired, aren’t I?
Oh yeah.
You okay?
Yeah. You?

9.5/10

Shameless 5.03

Don’t tell me Joan Cusack and Emma Greenwell both left Shameless forever. They played my two favorite characters. They better be back in a few eps. But why don’t I remember what happened to Karen after Mandy hit her with the car? How did she leave? This has been bugging me for four days. Genius things happening this episode. Deb lost her v card by ‘date raping a guy and statutory raping herself’ while Frank pimped out his slutty daughter. Sheila left to travel the world when she couldn’t leave the house for two years and suffers from OCD. This is not relevant, but would a person with a severe OCD be dating men who don’t care about their hygiene? I think they might have gotten it wrong. And why was her sofa no longer covered in plastic when Sammy screwed a guy on two weeks ago? Also, nice sock.

It’s also good for cleaning toilets or sinks.
It looks like a hand whore fire sale out there.
What ladies?
Those lesbians
I want us to see the world.
I’ve seen it and looks like shit.
You got a fetish fpr fuck ups?
Girls with stories.
We need to run out lebians out of town.
All of them?
Just the ones in our hood.
CErEal rapist on the loose.
She’s a hood girl. She thinks she’s a piece of shit.
I don’t get it, she’s a great girl. She can get any guy she wants.
I have to stay close to my doctors.
You’re gorgeous. You’re smart, you know that, right?
She left.
I tried.
Play me something worth dying for.
Some lonesome wrist cutter.
You date raped me. You statutory raped yourself.
You did the raping right?
Debs, I think this is some seriously weird dude. A million guys would kill to be raped by you.
I had sex last night. My first time.
Frank promised you would bumb me as soon as we go to your place.
I’ve seen you put out after the first drink.
You take pleasure in shoving plastic penises up your men’s butt.
Can’t a man have a minute of peace.

10/10

Switched at Birth 4.04

How did they fit one full semester into 4 episodes, when they streched out 2 year of high school into 3 full seasons? I see Regina had good intentions, but you don’t go talking to college professors about your kid’s grades. This isn’t middle school. How can you have a successful relationship if you don’t like the same things? ‘Daphne made all of this herself.’ All what, a C? They need to send Bay to college, we haven’t seen her paint anytjing in months. I hated when Emmett said she had not much going on right now. So what if she doesn’t? Big deal, some things are more important, and sometimes creating has to wait a few years. I hate when people do this. I have too many friends who are sure they’re destined for great artistic carreers who choose to torture me about taking some time off to help my parents finanially. They don’t get it, and so does Emmett. Lots of friends tell me this but If my boyfriend did I would dump him immediately. How can you be (friends) with if they think they’re better than you? It’s okay to take some time off, It doesn’t mean you’re off the track. SVU case next week?

I am am so happy the elevator’s out.
Maybe this one won’t crap out after 1 month.
Don’t let the deafness throw you.
See there you go.
What are the odds of him having your carreer?
Until he does, Back off.
A student become C students.
We just discontinued your data plan.
If you’re turning down work, I don’t think you’re doing the best you can.
You made me look like a disabled winer.
You don’t have much going on right now.
But it’s only temporary.
This is a drop form.
If you do a good job, I will raise your D to a C.
You’re gonna hit a lot of road blocks. In the future, don’t be so quick to give up.
I’m gonna write a musical with my mom.
First things first, I have to read your book.

8.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 5.17

Even though I understand where Ezra is coming from, I don’t support his decision to part with Aria. So she’ll resent you, she’ll get over it. You can always pretend you’re those 8 or 9 years younger and blend in at college parties, just like you did two episodes ago. No one doubted you’re a high school student. We all new they brought the cook to be Emily’s love interest and I don’t mind it. How come Rosewood, a small city has so many lesbians, and yet we haven’t met a single gay guy? I couldn’t adore more the scene where Aria goes through her year book and sees a blank space under her name and realizes her relationship with Ezra might have stood in a way of her high school life. But she forgot one thing. What about A? It’s A who tortured her for those three years of high school, and not Ezra. For a person who was very antisocial in high shool and didn’t go to any parties and school events and who wasn’t a member of any school clubs, I could identify with this lovely scene.

Or any guys.
So your ex was a girl?
Yeah. (There is no way that tshirt she had in the last episode could belong to a guy)
People.
You mean your high school girlfriend.
You did what you had to do to get in.
I don’t think that’s an actual parking spot, Spence.
We’ll take that chance.
So you’re here to rent a storage unit?
Then you better get going.
Looks like someone’s camera shy.
Somebody knows we’re here.
We’re gonna freeze to death.
What’s that?
I’m not sure.
If we stay together you can grow to resent me.
You screwed yourself by going there and you screw over Caleb too.
I’m interested in you.
Then we’ll both be behind bars. Maybe not in the same facility.
Aria Montgomery [blank].
Hanna and Caleb need to know if Mona’s body is in there!

9/10

The Simpsons 26.11

Nice Scrooge outfit, Burns.

You’re the guy who put wheels on baggage? Thank you!
He changed the way Hollywood drives.
Clearly the work of Lenny. It’s the white one, right?
Not on my carpet.
Car go park at work, so people think I’m there.
Never.

5/10

Eye Candy 1.03

I wanted to quit the show last week, but now I’m happy I didn’t.

They belong to a woman.
Surprise.
They are all on flirtual.
You’re fired. I’m kidding. I cover for you. Working.
Who’s the insomniac?
Oh my god. I know why he’s killing.
Julia hated her teeth.
He wants perfection.
It’s your birthday?
Yeah.
What kind of person doesn’t know their best friend’s birtday?
You passed my test.
Perfection doesn’t exist. Everybody’s flawed, especially me.

7.5/10

Scandal 4.10

I’m sorry what was the exciting part? I hate when writers throw a storyline that’s not going to be important after two episodes. So Liv was kidnapped, big deal. Maybe if she wasn’t a brat and didn’t tell everyone she’s special, because of her name, we’d maybe feel sorry for her. I would much rather enjoy thia show if Abby or Mellie were the leading ladies. I worship Shonda, but how the hell are we supposed to identify with a person who has ‘superpowers’ and can do all the things none of us can? Still between the captors holding Liv in an opposite apartment, the obvious ‘it’s okay, Olivia, don’t worry. It’s over’ – a neighboor being shot, and the captors stone walling the window, Olivia thinking the president put a tracker in her and finally a captor turning out the guy who was in the cell with her and Liv telling him her value, I can see some potential.

2.5/10

How to Get Away With Murder 1.10

Weak episodes of Greys and Scandal, but can’t say the same about the third child of Shondaland. It was interesting and managed to keep me interested, and that’s what this is all about.

What you did tonight had to be done.
They’re wearing paranoia on their sleeves.
See you in court, kids.
You’re dating your client?
We have to prove my husband murdered Lila.
Sounds like you need a lawyer.
She was pregnant, idiot. She didn’t need birth conrtol.
Maybe you had fun, I was drunk and desperate.
I’ll write crime fiction, I’ll be a housewife. Ok maybe not a housewife.
That’s the address of the kappa sorority.
Rebecca did not impregnate the victim.
What’s the matter, you’re not in the mood to confess to a murder.
Let me help you, because if you do, I promise you’ll get away with this.
All tgese induviduals are responsible for disposal of the body. You have to argue they’re innocent. You have 90 minutes.

7.5/10

Parenthood 6.12. SVU 16.12. Revenge 4.13. American Horror Story 4.13. Bad Judge 1.13. Cougar Town 6.03. Castle 7.11. Shameless 5.02. Switched at Birth 4.03. Pretty Little Liars 5.16. Eye Candy 1.02

24 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by in american horror story, bad judge, castle, cougar town, Kelli Giddish, Lauren Graham, Madeleine Stowe, Mariska Hargitay, parenthood, pretty little liars, revenge, shameless, special victims unit, Stana Katic, switched at birth, tv series

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I have so many shows, I haven’t watched a single film since they came back from the winter break. I will cry when Parenthood ends. American Horror Story and Bad Judge just ended. Eye Candy made the list. Greys, Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder are all back next week. Then Nashville, and Bates Motel and Bones are back in March.

Parenthood 6.12

Lauren Graham performed Joni Mitchell’s The Circle Game and that’s all I’m gonna say. Kristina looking at her latest accomplishment – which was probably the last scene at Chambers. I cried I cried and I went to the store and bought mansize klinex for next week’s finale.

That didn’t stop you before going into music business.
It’s gotta be you, Mr. Braverman.
I have some serious doubts about success of this school if you’re gonna tach cooking.
I always thought I’d get married at a volcano.
Did he just say volcano?
I always thought I’d have my second wedding at a volcano.
Excuse me? What’s happening? Are we going?
Of course I’m with you. I’m always with you.
Where’s the baby?
Yeah, that text was confusing.
There’s no rush.
What was special about it was Adam and I.
You slept with people? How many people? For a record, I didn’t sleep with people.
You’re beautiful to look at. Very beautiful. But also on the inside.
It doesn’t matter what you cook, since you’re gonna end up unemployed anyway.
Hey, you’re playing our song.
Something shifts and you’ll figure it out.
You’re my hero.
You still got it.
Mr Gangi, what exactly are your intentions with my daughter with those teeth?
If you hadn’t stolen my knife in the first place, none of it would have happened.
I just wanna make sure that my dad is there.
Don’t cry, I don’t like when you cry.
Amber, you’re a mommy.
I want you to meet your great grandson, Zeek.
Hi, Zeek.

10/10

SVU 16.12

I hate when SVU is not really SVU. We need SVU cases to know it’s gonna be okay, not some Amaro’s father bullshit, especially if he got away with it.

In order to heal, we have to let go.
Oh so you’ve forgiven your father or William Lewis?
Wow.
I’m sorry.
Daddy come quick they’re fighting.
So she deserved it. Just like you did.
Maybe this is just another nightmare from your childhood.
Detective would you say you have your own anger issues?
He’s my son. He has his issues.
The jury’s back.
After 20 minutes?
Finally stood up to your old man.
I would never lay a hand on her. I’m not you.

6/10

Revenge 4.13

Victoria offered her life for Emily’s! I see I wasn’t the only one stunned when that happened. It’s all revenge fandom can talk about on Tumblr. Well, this and Nolan’s wedding, but I don’t mind it Nolan and Louis turned out to be great friends even though they’ve known each other for two weeks or so. Why does Victoria say she has nothing left? What about Charlotte and her other son? Where is her other son anyway? Conrad is dead so he can come back and I know they’re trying to sell us Nolan’s bisexuality, but no one is buying it. The whole episode I kept thinking, If they beat Emily up, Victoria has no chance of survival.

Who as it turns out is Emily.
Who would have thought after all that was said and done, you and I would die together.
To stage a greving mother’s suicide.
I thought I’d sacrifice myself to buy you and Emily more time.
Revenge is a dangerous game.

10/10

American Horror Story 4.13

What a beautiful finale. Glad to see a happy ending, very similar to the Haunted House’s, and not a depressing one like Asylum and Coven’s.I knew all of the freaks would die and Elsa too. That’s why we had Dandy. But with every shot my heart wss breaking and I kept saying ‘Come on’ through a tight throat. Elsa comitting a suicide by performing on Halloween was so fitting. They could not have written a better ending. But why would the film that portrays her as a victim hurt her? Why would she be ruined? The film didn’t show her as a masochist, I think they started rolling when she was lying in the bed completely out of it and then having her legs cut off. I know it’s the early 60s, but I think the only think that would change is that everyone would feel sorry for her but I don’t think any less people would watch, even though we all know in the 50s-60s you had to be perfect to make it.

Audiences want a new type of freak.
You’re boring. You’re never be one of us.
What kind of place is this?
Hollywood.
My name is Elsa Mars.
Showtime.
I always thought babies to be boring, but freak babies!
You didn’t think we’d lay in bed with you after you’ve massacred our entire family.
Were you poorly trained? You’re not allowed to sit at the table with us.
It’s got to be theatrical.
I felt so blessed to finally have friends and you took them all.
You’re the biggest freak of them all.
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
First of all, this coffee tastes like shit.
I said I will not perform on Halloween.
I’m bored and I’m alone.
I’ve always been cursed. First by having my dreams ripped away and now I’m cursed by having them all come true.
I’ll become just some sad footnote in Hollywood’s history?
They’re all dead.
What? All of them?
Some kind of massacre. Bodies found in a mass grave.
I’ve changed my mind. I will perform on Halloween. Why not? I may as well go out with a bang.
Why she stopped singing?
This is a suicide. How deep your pain must be, my love.
I’m the biggest freak of all.
Your place is not with us.
It’s like you’ve always said, sweetheart. Stars never pay.
Am I to perform?
The brightest and the best there ever was and will be.

10/10

Bad Judge 1.13

Just when I got used to these characters. I love that it ended exactly the same way it started – with Rebecca being a complete mess. Goodbye, Bad Judge, I’ll miss you.

Car wash.
There we go.
May just ask your name?
It’s spelled…
Hopefuly we can get address till lunch.
I’ll call one of my orher friends. You know, my friend Ross, Monica’s cool, Chandler, god, could he be so funny?
We’re grown ups. Punching is called battery and they’ll take you to jail for it.
The woman has enough alcohol.
It’s like an emergency tent at Coachella.
If she serves anything, it definitely has herpies.
What!?
No you can’t arrest me today!
The next day, you are the authority, the van’s gone.
I need you to cover a case for me.
Objection. We get.
Sustained.
Did you eat for the food, didn’t pay for the food?
Be seated.

10/10

Cougar Town 6.03

Great episode. Reminded me of the great ones from the early seasons when everything was Jules/Ellie.

They’re screwed.
Actually, I’ll take the compliment.
What’s the challenging part?
Oh, I’m not hearing a problem.
S’up Perv’stach.
I had to use both hands.
It might have been the alcohol.
Yeah! And we gve it to them.
We’re out of 3 grand.
Bless you.
Are you calling me a liar?
Are you ready to sex up this joint?
Sure is, baby.
Is that right?
It’s you. My new Bobby. It’s you!
Why you’re being creepier than usual?

8.5/10

Castle 7.12

Witty, but very average. Brad from Gilmore Girls plays the hotel personnel.

And not see Castle.
I’m looking for a private detective.
She’s absolutely right a d completely unbiased.
Canvasing? Or you mean that thing you let Ryan and Espo do.
What was the strange thing you’ve noticed.
That smoking hot detective was asking about the same thing too.
But this UBS drive.
I have my operative looking into other clues.
Maybe your opinion’s not so objective.
This is not my limo.
What’s her name?
Havier.

5.5/10

Shameless 5.02

What an episode, hands down, Shameless is back. Fiona proved she is chaos. Getting punched twice in the same day by two diffrent strangers may be the exact definition of chaos.

Did you leave either kid on the porch and went on a drug run?
Just like these asholes who don’t speak English are doing.
Let me get my pepper spray.
He’s one block over at Sheila’s.
More butter.
Apologise to my waitress.
I think Chucky is moderly retarted. Someone should tell Sammy.
I hope it’s better than his sad display of mentally disabled art.
He was with two very clean lesbians.
Double? It has scam written all over it.
Terrible fucking idea.
Did they offer cash upfront? Cash today?
She has a good nose for scam.
I don’t think you’re invited.
Why you done with the public pool? Someone shit in it? Someone shit om you?
I don’t know this feeling. It’s hate. I hate your daughter, Frank.
You look really pretty, Mandy.
Hi, I really need to talk to the priest.
Did you take something?
A job for illegal immigrants and ex cons.
I need to go to the alibi. Job requirement.
I’m gonna want you for that.
You’re a chaos junkie.
Why was there a hooker’s tit in mu baby’s mouth!?
It’s just hair. It’ll grow back.
It’s a starbucks.
Gentrification.
Genital what?
14 will get you 20.

10/10

Switched at Birth 4.03

I almost cried and rewinded three times when Daphne introduced John as her dad. I feel for Iris, she made a great point, she helped Daphne study and found her an interpreter, yet she didn’t get help in return.

What’s your favorite horror film?
Psycho.
Happy 50ish birthday.
Have you ever been convicted of a fellony?
Forensic evidence? Are you a criminology major?
Charity work?
Environmental clean up.
I didn’t know that made sound.
How do you know John Kennish?
He’s my dad.
I’m just the dumb hearing girl wno no one wants to slow down enough to talk to.
This kid has a future in baseball and I’m gonna help him.
It’s ASL, when everyone’s together, I’m all lost.
Stop it.
Make me.

6.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 5.16

Isn’t it hilarious how this show used to be just something to watch in the background for four years and now it’s the only way to get through Wednesday? How boring my life must have gotten over the year that I’m actually looking forward to every new episode? I watch it before Cougar Town and Switched at Birth. I almost cannot say a bad word about it anymore. The show is satisfying without Alison. I really hope Mona is in that barrell, as I did not see it coming.

Aria, this is the letter you wrote to Jackie.
You’re mad that I bailed or that I walked in on your wild college weekend.
Oh you can’t find the copy of the invoice?
So your boyfriend’s a cop.
From Mona Vandervaal.
You sound really echoey, like you’re in an airduct.
That’s because I am in an airduct.
He’s keeping it to build a case against one of us.
That she’s in there.
Mona was a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.
I like him and like him with you.
It’s just a bunch of kids sitting on bunk beds trying to figure out what yo do with the rest of their lives.
Hanna, it’s rented in your name and I’m pretty sure that Mona’s body is hidden inside of it.

6/10

Eye Candy 1.02

Camera doesn’t lie.
You wanna taste?

3/10

Parenthood 6.11. SVU 16.11. Revenge 4.12. American Horror Story 4.11. Bad Judge 1.12. Cougar Town 6.02. Castle 7.10. Shameless 5.01. The Simpsons 26.11. Switched at Birth 4.02. Pretty Little Liars 5.15. The Good Wife 6.12. Eye Candy 1.01

15 Thursday Jan 2015

Posted by in american horror story, bad judge, castle, cougar town, Ellen Pompeo, eye candy, Kate Walsh, Kelli Giddish, Lauren Graham, Madeleine Stowe, Mariska Hargitay, parenthood, pretty little liars, revenge, shameless, special victims unit, switched at birth, the good wife, the simpsons, tv series

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Two shows mentioned Sophie’s Choice this week, coincidence?

Parenthood 6.11

Let’s go home. There are no words to describe how much I’ll miss this show.

10/10

SVU 16.11

Very disapointed with this case. A 15 year old meets up with a movie star she has a crush on and ends up hooking up with another movie star.

Something happened to me?
The driver pulled over and got into the back with me.
That’ll get you trending.
The waiter saw him do body shots off of her.
Hello, somebody had sex with a drunk and drugged 15 year old girl.
Motherhood gas really changed you, Liv.
Call me Big G.
I believe you’ve met Big G.
Life umitates art, I get that.
I didn’t want Scott to find out I cheated on him.
Definitely not, but nice try.
Check please.

6/10

Revenge 4.12

I don’t know what they’re doing or why I keep giving it a 10. I desperately need to see Victoria in action instead of watching David screw everything up for our characters.

Death for Victoria would me merciful.
The devil can have it.
My other partner in crime.
You’ll spare Victoria’s life again.
I’m really gonna miss you.
This may become your farawell takedown.
What if yiur friend finds out about your obsessive tendencies?
That their father died assaulting an innocent woman?
You gave her criminal file?
Okay, Louis may be crazy.
I questioned Emily myself.
I’m sure you did.
Actually, I think you have.
I need to start with a damaged little girl called Amanda Clarke, also known as Emily Thorne.
Look what I found. This is so much better.

8/10

American Horror Story 4.12

I hate where this show eneded up this year. I was actually surprised when tjey killed Maggie off and that they changed Stanley to Meep. Or that they wanted to kill Elsa! What on Earth is happening this year. The only thing I like is that Dandy’s the new owner now. I wondered how he’s story’s gonna end and this seems fitting. The finale’s next week and I’m more scared about what they’ll pull off than how sad I am that it’s ending. I hope Jessica does one more season.

You tried to kill my dreams, but they cannot be murdered.
You came.
Of course.
But I asked myself, Dandy, how can you be of help?
You look like shit.
Maggie’s next. Elsa’s next.
Looks like you’re gonna have a shot at normal life.
But where would I go?
I’m the new owner.

8.5/10

Bad Judge 1.12

If only every episode was this good. At episode 12, I’m starting to grow to this family. Sad the series finale’s next week.

Let’s a game. Secrets.
You obviously skied on acid.
It was Sophie’s choice.
Because my number 4 was in high school.
Young hopeful and stinky.
What is she George Clooney’s wife?
Wallets get paid more than that.
They’re making Toy Story 4.
I am the law and I’m going for it.
It’s awesome, isn’t it?
The only relationship that end mutualy are those when two people die in the same car accident.
Soy sauce?
Garbage dog’s getting bath.
Of course.
Is it bra food?
It’s almost like I sensed that you and Jim are having problems.
Have you told Jim how you feel?
Having a baguette.
It’s brilliant.
Yeah sure, that too.
This would make a terrible episode of Law and Order.
She toured with The Black Eyed Peas but just briefly.
Bank is gonna be closed for a while.
Are you fucking kidding me?

10/10

Cougar Town 6.02

This show used to be so good. Remember when Shonda Rhimes was freaking out about the Penny Can and how happy she was about some advanced episodes that Bill Lawrence sent her? And how she was taking about Wednesdays with wine and Cougar Town? Well that was me too. I won’t complain anymore because I know I’ll be sad not once when It ends. I’ll look back and remember only the good things. Happy Birthday little Bobby Cobb! Can you belive Laurie has a kid with Travis? I can’t! I go back to season one in my mind and just can’t believe it.

Move dude, emergency.
Obviosly, you’re pregnant.
Said no.
Did we have awful public schools.
Fancy pants.
I feel so.
Can we mke her wear the dress?
But move this car.
I need to be with people I love, where nothing changes.
Are they for a girl or a boy? Yes. Shut up, Tom.
Bobby, meet Bobby.

7/10

Castle 7.10

We haven’t had an episode this funny in years! And how can the case not be good when the dog is the witness! A little competition never harmed anyone and it might have been what the show needed.

How a woman so astud could marry a man like Castle?
I’m now Richard Castle, Private Investigator.
I’m sorry that’s confidential too.
A private investigator!?
Who are you and what are you doing with a dead woman’s dog?
Bitch, I know where you live.
I’m just making sure you filled it out correctly.
I was just discussing it with the writer you married.
Welcome to Richard Castle Investigations.
You said married people tell each other things.
My God, I’ve missed this.
We’re definitely on top of him.
When she took something beautiful we had together and shared it with another man.
Oh thank god, now what are you doing here?
The dog is the witness!?

8/10

Shameless 5.01

Shameless came back poorly. I always expect this show to blow my mind and this week it simply didn’t. I enjoyed Sheila’s problems with Frank’s daughter, but other than that, it was disapointing. But in the end, Frank’s back living with Sheila and that’s all I need.

Yoy’re lying to your notebook.
Are you expecting a loss of appetite?
Are you my father?
Don’t think so, kid.
And dry humping that man on my couch.
Plus it’s free.
Forgot that argument.
Screw those bitches.
We’re gonna party up Gallagher style.

5/10

The Simpsons 26.11

The show that never disapoints and keeps me sane on crazy Mondays. A very good episode. ‘Stay 10 forever’ is what I’d like to wish to all of us.

That would explain a lot.
If I was Fred Flinston.
It’s such a big ass.
For the first time I actually have to do my job.
It’s called a double standard.
I could direct films like Angelina Jolie.
Look back at the elephant.
What if those clowns parked in the same lot as us?
Maybe there’s a better Wifi in the freak tent.
Oh not again.
I’m not? Good. Am I sick?
Is that a grown man going between the children’s legs?
It’s on page one of the rule book.
Homo too.
I’ve been emotionally dealing with it the whole week so yeah.
Bye, Bart. Stay 10 forever.

7.5/10

Switched at Birth 4.02

Far from good, the only thing that kept me through the episode was the thought of the teacher being the Claire Danes’s mom in My So Called Life. God, I loved this show. Why didn’t we find 5 minutes for Marlee Matlin, yet we focused on Regina and East Riverside bullshit again. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for Daphne to go to all hearing college. Bay’s drama is so overrated, the show insists on reminding us it’s a teen show.

You let the door slam after you.
Thanks so much!
It looks like you’re saying end of peace, but I know that’s not right.
They’re meeting without you.
You had to fight their battles.

2.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 5.15

I am really enjoying the college talk. I don’t mind Ashley sleeping with Jason, she deserves to be appreciated and we never see the priest anymore. Aria got into a mediocre college and somehow isn’t too sad about it. I loved her letter to Jackie. It was potentially a very atupid move, but exactly what I would have done. Write a killer personal statement. They wanted personal? They got personal. I was surprised to actually see a grown up version of Jackie instead of the unforgiving and childish one we met a few seasons back. Spencer and Caleb duo is something to look forward to.

Whatever happened to a thank you card?
How many schools did you get into?
Did I miss something, when did you become a professional chef?
I know it hurts. It’s a temporary setback.
I don’t need a dramatic reading of it. I wrote it.
I made these. Eat one.
Because somebody was burried in it.
There’ll be no rest for the wicked.
Burn your life down.

5/10

The Good Wife 6.12

I know it may be one of the shows best seasons, but I honestly don’t feel it most of the times. I couldn’t be happier about getting David back! He brings absurd humor which this show needs.

I don’t even recognise these people.
I’ve missed this. All usul disasters.
What does that have to do with my married life?
You know you can tape whatever you want.
I don’t have feelings for you.
We want you back, David.
The governor’s stepping in for the mayor.
I’ve came home Alicia. We’re partners again.
I’m gonna win.

5.5/10

Eye Candy 1.01

Following R.L. Stine’s every project since the 90s. I am very upset about The Haunting Hour cancellation. The pilot was good enough, I will watch the series.

Sarah!
Filthy crooked teeth. Now I have to kill you.
He must have known I’ll be able to do this.
Too love me. Stalk me. Kill me?
She’s hacking their phones.
No, that’s not legal.
He’s at the apartment with you, get out!
Say it or he’ll die without knowing.

5/10