I am thinking of setting a YouTube channel for this page. I’m thinking, short reviews and what’s leaving and coming to Netflix and is worth watching, weekly shows reviews, etc. If you like this idea, let me know.

Now And Then

Don’t judge Marlene I King by Pretty Little Liars or Ravenswood. Even though she just pulled a major twist with A being transgender. Watch this and be stunned. A beautiful story of four girls from a small town. It can be best described as Steel Magnolias for pre-teens. It’s not the first time I had the pleasure of watching this film. And it does not get any worse. It’s a better version of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. The scene of the main character being stuck in the sewer during the storm will never be erased from my memory. I’m a sucker for the Crazy Pete storyline, and not the back story itself, just his type of character, a lonely, practically homeless and crazy person everyone is scared of turning out to be a regular loving person. Shame Thora Birch disappeared from screen, and that Christina Ricci’s career slowly lost speed too.

‘Thomas Wolfe once said you can’t go home again. Well, that’s great for old Tom. But he wasn’t a chick who made a pact with her friends when she was twelve to get together whenever any one of them needed each other. So here I am driving back to my childhood home in Indiana a place I can tell you I never wanted to see again.’

‘I don’t want to see a lot of people, I don’t think they want to see a lot of me.’

‘Teeny’s parents were country-clubbers that were never around – typical upbringing for actors and pathological liars.’

‘It’s normal for things to be shitty.’

‘I say we make a pact. Here and now. We’re here for each other, always, no matter what happens in life. If Teeny goes off to Hollywood or I marry a rich doctor, we remember this day and this pact. Whenever we need a friend, we’re here for each other. We can count on it. Always. No matter what.’

‘When you’re 12, without effort, you live in the moment. You don’t regret the past or worry about the future, and in that moment, Teeny filled my heart with hope and comfort.‘

‘Well Samantha… Things will happen in your life that you can’t stop… But that’s no reason to shut out the world… There’s a purpose for the good and for the bad.
He gave me the only gift he could… The lesson that had taken him a lifetime to learn… And although I understood the importance of his words… It’s only now looking back that I understand their meaning.’

‘He said something that didn’t mean as much then as it does now… He told me that things happen in life that you can’t stop but it wasn’t a reason to shut out the world...Wow… I realize that… I’ve been so afraid of the bad things that um… That I’ve missed out on the good... You know I didn’t wanna come back here… But I’m really glad I did… I’d forgotten how much it helped to have you guys as friends… I’m really lucky to have this place… and each other…’

‘We all used to try so hard to fit in. We wanted to look exactly alike, do all the same things, practically be the same person, but when we weren’t looking that all changed. The tree house was supposed to bring us more independence, but what the summer actually brought was independence from each other.’

‘You can run from the dissapointments you’re trying to forget. But its only when you embrace your past that you truly move forward. Maybe Thomas Wolfe never got to go home again, but I found my way there. And I’m glad I did.’

8/10

The Manchurian Candidate

A modern version of the 1962 Academy Award nominated film, unfortunately, this one as opposed to the Frank Sinatra one, does not make much sense. The storyline does not work as well with Gulf War, as it did post Korean War. I cannot really judge the ridiculous plot, as the original one was a little ahead of its time, but I’ve found the remake vexatious. The film had Meryl Streep, Jon Voight, Liev Schreiber and Vera Farmiga and fell short of the required standard you’d expect from a film with this cast. I can’t begin to understand why would anyone took part in this fairytale, but Meryl doesn’t dissapoint, the role feels somewhat similar to her Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady.

‘Where there casualties?’
‘There’re always casualties in war, sir.’

5/10

The Proposition

A lovely drama on not so lovely topic. I care about Madeleine’s 90s films so deeply. I hope she doesn’t go back to her retirement and continues acting after Revenge.

‘I began to know God through Eleanor. It was she who taught me faith.’

7/10

Maze Runner

I try not to follow teen trends, but the trailer for this one intrigued me. Almost as good as The Hunger Games, but without the vital communist system. I have not read the books, nor will I, but I will probably see the second one.

‘Wicked is good.’

‘I think it’s safe to say the Maze Trials were a complete success. I wasn’t expecting so many survivors, but the more the merrier. Thomas continues to surprise and impress. And for now, they seem to have taken the bait. It’s too soon to say, but they could be the key to everything. So let’s move forward. It’s time now to begin Phase Two.’

6/10

Child’s play 3

Without a doubt, the weakest part of the series. Why did they have to flash forward so much, when only one year passed? It was hard to stay focused as the plot simply falls apart. It was the only part that I haven’t seen and honestly, it should have stayed that way.

‘Who the fuck are you?’
‘I thought you Good Guy Dolls only said three sentences.’
‘I’m new and improved.’

‘Don’t fuck with the Chuck.’

2/10

The Dorm

I watched it for Cassie Steele, I would not have even known about the film if it wasn’t, again, for Netflix. The film was very painful and highly displeasing. The audience does not know what they are facing till the very end. And they could not be more disappointed with the result.

3/10

Spy

When a friend asked me for a review, I described it as run-of-the-mill and a little stuck up, and let’s be honest I was not lying to him. Why did Rose Byrne’s character have to have the exact high-and-mighty personality as in Bridesmaids? The trailer was much better than the film itself. I was expecting it to fit into The Heat’s shoes and end up being its unintentional sequel. And let’s be honest it was not even half half as funny. I had more fun seeing Hot Pursuit even though it was not impressive either. I am glad that in comparison to Bridesmaids this one was almost family friendly. I hate when films are over-sexed for no good reason, and the sex or over exaggerated dirty jokes do not bring anything to the storyline. Remember when Identity Thief was doing well enough up until the point when Melissa’s character slept with that cowboy to steal his wallet? Braidsmaids did not throw me off my feet either. But The Heat did, and I really hope they’re gonna make the second part.

‘I just hear my mum’s voice. Just blend in, let somebody else win. I got that a lot in high school. And there was, “give up on your dreams, Susan.” She used to write that in my lunchbox.’

‘My father used to bring people like you here.’
‘Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?’

‘I’m very non-physically resourceful. I read a lot of intelligence, I read a lot of poems, and I’ve read all of the ‘Hunger Games”

‘How do you like my English accent? I learned it from the Downton Abbey’

7/10

The Fault in Our Stars

I should read the book that’s gathering dust on my bookshelf prior to writing the review on the film, but let’s be realistic, I am never gonna read it. But the film was better than ordinary. As a matter of fact, it was better than I expected. The scene when the characters meet their idol, who turns out to be a drunk, and offends them and all they dreams and assumptions about the author get crushed, is stimulating. We all idolize our idols, favorite writers, actors, directors, don’t have flaws. How many times have we not paid attention to certain rumors or defended our role model’s behaviour, explaining to people that we all have our problems and lots of people go through similar things. Was it better than Nicholas Sparks’ biggest hit Walk to Remember? Probably not. I found the kissing in Anne Frank’s house disturbing and extremely inapropriate. Don’t talk to me about hope, show some respect. Aside from that, the story was touching and poignant and despite being teen oriented, worth watching.

‘Pain demands to be felt.’

‘I cannot stop thinking about this God damned book.’
‘You’re welcome.’

‘I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep: Slowly, and then all at once.’

‘One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.
I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it.’

‘Hello, ma’am. Your daughter, she’s done a great injustice, so we’ve come here seeking revenge. You see, we may not look like much, but between the three of us we have five legs, four eyes and two and a half pairs of working lungs, but we also have two dozen eggs, so if I were you, I would go back inside.’

‘Mr. Van Houten. I’m a good person, but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person, but a good writer. I think we’d make a good team. I don’t wanna ask you for any favors, but if you have the time – and from what I saw you had plenty – please fix this for me: It’s a eulogy for Hazel. She asked me to write one, and I’m trying, but I just… I could use a little flair. See, the thing is… we all wanna be remembered. But Hazel’s different. Hazel knows the truth. She didn’t want a million admirers, she just wanted one. And she got it. Maybe she wasn’t loved widely, but she was loved deeply. And isn’t that more than most of us get? When Hazel was sick, I knew I was dying, but I didn’t wanna say so. She was in the ICU when I snuck in for ten minutes and I just sat with her before I got caught. Her eyes were closed, her skin pale, but her hands were still her hands, still warm, and her nails were painted this dark blue black color, and… I just held them. And I willed myself to imagine a world without us and what a worthless world that would be. She’s so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she’s smarter than you, ’cause you know she is. She’s funny without ever being mean. I love her. God, I love her, I’m so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have a say in who hurts you. And I like my choices. I hope she likes hers. Okay, Hazel Grace?’

6.5/10

Tomorrowland

If not the visual effects, the film would drown immediately. Britt Robertson is one of the very few young actors who’s carrier I follow, yet I could not sit through The Longest Ride. I’ll probably wait for it to come to Netflix or catch it on tv in a couple of years. The special effects are impressive, and to be honest, when I saw them in the trailer I thought, I’m gonna go see it, if only for the beautiful wheat field takes and other special effects, and it was the right choice. The film loses it’s value when not watch at the movies or a giant flat screen in HD. I will get it on DVD.  Is there another part?

Have you ever wondered what would happen, if all the geniuses, the artists, the scientists, the smartest, most creative people in the world decided to actually change it ? Where, where could they even do such a thing ? They’d need a place free from politics and bureaucracy, distratctions, greed – a secret place where they could build whatever they were crazy enough to imagine.

5.5/10

Insidious 3

It was supposed to be a prequel, but it felt like a completely different film, and in a good way. Even though the scene when the girl breaks the casts on her legs is foolish and vexing, and the film was not at all scary. After we found out who was the sinister creature, we saw he was not even remotely as scary as the main villain of Insidious 1 and 2. I have Insidious 2 on Netflix UK, so I may rewatch it soon, but this one was definitely the weakest link.

6/10

Recess: School’s Out

And to finish off, this animated kids film. TJ gets abandoned for holidays as the rest of the gang leaves for summer camp. TJ makes an unexpected friend and saves the school. Out of all the movie parts I have only seen this on and Taking the 5th Grade, and even though this one was slightly worse, I still hope to see the remaining parts.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, Detweiller. Every adult you’ve ever known was a kid at sometime in his life. You think we don’t remember summer vacation? Riding our bikes down the creek. Catching polliwogs in a jar. Camping out under the stars. Well you’re wrong! Sometimes I sit there in my office, looking out at you kids in the playground and I think, “They don’t know how good they got it. In a few years, they’ll be grownups like me and all those good times will be memories for them, too”. So go ahead. Put a whoopie-cushion in my chair. Put fake vomit on my carpet. Make fun of my “big, saggy butt”. But don’t ever say I don’t care about summer vacation, ’cause those memories are the last part of childhood I got left.

What am I going to do? Play baseball by myself, watch reruns? Read?!

4/10

Clouds of Sils Maria

The most misleading trailer in a long time. How many people went to see an affair between the two characters, as the trailer suggested? What we got instead, was reading lines. The only snippets of what we came for, were: the main character deciding to take on the role, after google-ing what her young co-star looks like, and words ‘I’m too vulnerable to do this’, which may be the definition of being afraid of falling for someone. Nevertheless, the film perfectly shows the work of an assistant. Not superficially like other films tend to. I was going to throw The Devil Wears Prada for an example, but I’m backing out, as this is personal assisting, not being a regular assistant at an office. The scenery was dazzling, all the scenes in the mountains were breathtaking. Juliette speaking French in front of Kristen was one of my personal favourite scenes. Despite the unsatisfying resolution of the film, the final scene itself was suiting. Kristen’s role will not beat her performance in Speak, but the again, nothing will.

7/10

Clockwatchers

Speaking of assistants, now a story of four office ladies. We all know what it is like to wait for that clock to finally reach a certain number. It just happens I have an office job, where I sit twelve hours a day, so I am familliar with staring at the clock. The characters, one drinks at work, one is a bulimic actress wanna-be, one makes personal phone calls, and the lead scripes it all down in her notebook. The story centers around a case of missing possessions of co-workers. It gets to a point where the girls’ desks are searched, and since the girls are the only temps at the office, they are the ones everyone suspects. The girls the temps suspect does turn out to be the cleptomaniac. One of a few highlights of the film, the lovely ending, when the main character tricks her boss into writing a recommendation letter for a friend, who’s just been let go off.

7/10

Manglehorn

The script is a mess, many scenes are superlous, everything in the bar with hip hop music, and the massage studio, the son plot felt redundant, two black people singing for no good reason, like we the producers confused the genres, and wanted to make it a musical, but then forgot about the scene and left it in the script. The cat’s surgery and the cat itself did not bring anything to the film. One single metaphor at the very end, when Manglehorn opens the car with an imaginary key. Why is the pseudo son guides the main character to the whorehouse. The accident, that is without a doubt the most interesting and well shot scene is very out of place and does not fit into the plot in any way. How often does an accident happen between a whole traffic jam? The writer and director, again, thought that would be a nice scene, let’s put it in. If all these haven’t scared you off, Holly Hunter’s character asks Al if he wants to take a bath with her after a very awkward first date, emphasais on word ‘date’, not sleepover. Points for the beehive under the mailbox, bring both easthetic and intriguing value to the picture. At least the way the character deals with loss is on point. Anyone else can see themselves being obsessed with someone to the point they hold on to them for years? If you have every been in a relationship in which you idolised your significant other, and kept idolising them after the break up? Then you get it. What else was relatable and made sense was Manglehorn comparing his son to everyone, like many parents tend to do. I have spent most time after seeing the film analising the accident I mentioned above. First of, the cars hit into a watermelon truck, then very importantly, the main character is carrying his soon to be sick cat, and that’s the only hint we get that would mean something. It symbolises fragility of life, and a prediction of the cat’s life and the future of Manglegorn’s son’s company. There is also an earthquake that does not bring anything except for a key to drop from the cabinet. If you sometimes try to find answers on imdb (I know it’s not just me, stop lying), the comments perfectly summed the film up. One and only, unpopular opinion said ‘I love the way it’s structered’, which got zero response. Another one says ‘What’s the rap song from the bar called?’ and if that does not encapsulates the film, nothing will do it better. I know, you think Al Pacino and Holly Hunter, it has to be good, it’s not trust me, I’ve made the same mistake. If only life gave you an imaginary key, so you could let go of whatever that’s holding you back, and find the answers you so desperately need in the process.

‘I am losing hope in tomorrow, it hurts.

4/10

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

I absolutely adore reunion films. I bet I’m gonna be one of those people who get broken up with just a few weeks before the reunion and will have to show up by myself, my accomplishments will not add up and I’m gonna end up making something up and I’m gonna be one of those losers, oh well, right? Hasn’t this film thought me anything? Romy and Michele made up they invented post its, they pretended they were buisnesswomen, and the one guy who was the biggest loser ends up rich and they all perform one of the weirdest and most awkward (not for them) dances ever caught on film. Romy and Michele are these two Legally Blondes who in comparison to Elle Woods, don’t accomplish anything (but they do in the end). The film is light, and unrealistic to some point, but that’s how we like them.

4/10