Sneakers

I’ve only owned orange cars and that orange Volkswagen is hella pretty. According to IMDB, it’s the exact same car used in So I Married an Axe Murderer. The fact that only 3 of Sidney Poitier’s films are available on my services is a crime. Nonetheless, I’ll watch all 3 this week.

7/10

The Other Guys

I recognised Ice T’s voice straight away, and he’s not even credited for his narration. Foo Fighters’ My Hero plays as Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock jump to their deaths in the only interesting scene in the film.

2/10

The Mitchells vs The Machines

This was cute, but… furbys are not evil. They were the must-have toy of the late 90s and the film’s portrayal is disappointing. On the other hand, the film has an LGBT character, so all is forgiven.

‘You’ve inspired me to follow you on Instagram.’

7/10

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

A few years ago I attended the Security Awards in London and the ceremony was not even remotely as eventful as what is shown in this film. The IMDB page for Kevin James says his trademark is being ‘chubby, but athletic’. I guess this series is the proof of that? There are two reasons why I watched not one, but both Paul Blart films. The first one is that I watched all 9 seasons of King of Queens back in the day, and the second one is that I spent 8 years of my life working in security. I’ve met a lot of police academy drop outs who thought they were saving the world, when in reality they were all very much replaceable.

3/10

The Briefing (original title Odprawa)

A camera follows medical students as they learn their profession by making decisions, dealing with difficult patients, talking with patients’ families and fighting exhaustion. The ending is very abrupt and accompanied by annoying sound design. I feel like this could have been something if it was a bit longer.

‘Each one of you will have their cemetery, that’s for sure.’ (oryginal: Kazdy z Was bedzie mial swoj cmentarz, to jest pewne)

5/10

Jude

Cousins fall in love and feel they’re being punished when a tragedy strikes. Rachel Griffiths is superb as always in a supporting role.

6/10

All Good Things

I didn’t realise this was based on Robert Durst’s wife’s disappeareance. I watched Lifetime’s version of events in ‘The Lost Wife of Robert Durst’ just last week. All Good Things is definitely a step up, but it’s still not a good movie.

5/10

The Producers

I have never heard of this musical, but ‘Keep it Gay’ and ‘I Wanna Be a Producer’ are really good musical songs. Will Ferrell is the perfect weirdo for his role.

6/10

The War of the Roses

The first half of the film is a generic romcom, but the other half is Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner trying to kill each other and that is super fun!

5/10