Film Reviews: Showbiz Kids. Cinema Paradiso. Summertime. Dream Love. The Far Shore. Hotel Mumbai. Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind. Ideal Home. The Addition

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show kids cin summertime

Showbiz Kids

I’ve been waiting for this to come out since last year. Sadly, it wasn’t much better than Corey Feldman’s last doc The Rape of Two Coreys from earlier this year. Alex Winter really should have invited him to talk about the sexual abuse him and Corey Haim endured as child actors. He also should have invited Brooke Shields and have her talk about her mother exploiting her and taking those disturbing pre-teen pictures of her since he already chose to show snippets from Pretty Baby. I wish Winter invited more than the 9 child actors that appeared in the film. There’s not much focus there either, they keep going back to drugs, not having normal childhoods, parents sacrificing their lives, parents pushing their kids for their own gain and abuse multiple times. Despite this, I still recommend you check Showbiz Kids out. This is my 10th HBO Documentary and I really liked most of them including Elvis The Searcher which I watched last week. This is also one of Cameron Boyce’s last films.

6.5/10

Cinema Paradiso

My local Showcase cinema has been showing movie goer favourites since they re-opened 3 weeks ago, and I didn’t feel like re-watching any of them, until I saw they’re showing Cinema Paradiso this weekend. I watched it many years ago on a very tiny TV screen, and this is one of the films that need to be seen on the big screen. I cried through the last 30 minutes and it was one of my favourite cinema experiences.

‘Living here day by day, you think it’s the center of the world. You believe nothing will ever change. Then you leave: a year, two years. When you come back, everything’s changed. The thread’s broken. What you came to find isn’t there. What was yours is gone. You have to go away for a long time… many years… before you can come back and find your people. The land where you were born. But now, no. It’s not possible. Right now you’re blinder than I am.’
‘Who said that? Gary Cooper? James Stewart? Henry Fonda? Eh?’
‘No, Toto. Nobody said it. This time it’s all me. Life isn’t like in the movies. Life… is much harder.’

‘Get out of here! Go back to Rome. You’re young and the world is yours. I’m old. I don’t want to hear you talk anymore. I want to hear others talking about you. Don’t come back. Don’t think about us. Don’t look back. Don’t write. Don’t give in to nostalgia. Forget us all. If you do and you come back, don’t come see me. I won’t let you in my house. Understand?’

‘Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.’

‘Whatever you end up doing, love it. The way you loved the projection booth when you were a little squirt.’

10/10

Summertime

Cecile De France turns 45 today. How refreshing to see them cast a 39 year old as the love interest. Summertime is a lesbian drama about a 20 something year old Delphine who after being left for a man by her closeted girlfriend leaves her family farm and goes to Paris where she meets a 30 something year old straight woman she falls in love with, Carole. It’s the 70s and Carole fights for women’s rights to abortion and contraception. The two get together, and Carole follows the main character to the family farm where they hide their relationship from Delphine’s mother. Her mother hopes she’s going to marry a local young man and things don’t go well when she finds out. Delphine makes a decision to leave to Paris, but then changes her mind which she later regrets as per what is revealed in a letter she sends to Carole seven years later. It’s a beautiful lesbian drama I may not have ever found if it wasn’t for Mubi.

9/10

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Dream Lover

What is it with James Spader and amusement parks? Remember when his character was trying to rape and then set on fire Lori Loughlin’s character in one of my favourite films The New Kids? I know I haven’t really commented on the Lori Loughlin scandal, and I cannot really. Lori was one of my first favourite actresses and crushes for that matter, so I cannot hate her, like what the rest of the world is doing, because she’s been in some of my favourite films and I thought Full House sucked before her character was introduced, even though I hated what they did to her character after she had the twins. Anyway, this review is about Dream Lover, which also stars Twin Peaks and Riverdale‘s Madchen Amick.

Look, just cause I’m halfway pretty guys look in my eyes and think they know me. Like I’m their fantasy. I’m just a regular screwed-up person. So when you say I’m beautiful it’s like you’re not seeing me at all.

5/10

The Far Shore

This is exactly the kind of film I needed to see today. Two sisters and their mom struggle to move on from the sudden death of their father. While the 16 year old one begins a relationship with her rapist, the 11 year old one is being bullied by her nasty classmates. It’s a beautiful film and I am so glad I got to see it. Thanks, HBO!

8/10

Hotel Mumbai

I haven’t seen Nicolas Saada’s Taj Mahal, but my dad said it was better than this one. I’ve now added it to my watchlist. The racist British woman who panics and accuses a lady for working with terrorists because she speaks their language and then asks Dev Patel’s character to take off his turban was so inappropriate and realist at the same time. What is she even doing in Mumbai? She does understand she’s not in England, so of course people will be speaking their language. Dev Patel has had a wonderful career since his time on Skins. He played the Slumdog, he was in both Hotel Marigold films, he was in Lion with Nicole Kidman and now Hotel Mumbai.

7/10

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Natalie Wood: What Remains Behind

Oh please, we all know he did it. Not much to say about this one. Natalie Wood was a bright light and just think of all the roles she would have played in her 50s, 60s, 70s. It’s tragic to think her story ended there, in the middle of the ocean. Her older daughter looks strikingly exactly like her. I have so many films to watch in my immediate watchlist, but I’m tempted to see Natalie’s entire filmography. I’ve only seen 6 of her films in total, from smaller ones like Inside Daisy Clover to big hits like Rebel Without a Cause or West Side Story. Speaking of West Side Story, I cannot believe Spielberg is making a remake. Why on earth do we need a new version of one of the biggest and most popular films? And just because teens these days won’t reach for a film from 20 years or more?

6/10

Ideal Home

Steve Coogan and Paul Rudd make awesome gay dads and I would watch this as a TV series. Kate Walsh has a very small part in it. One of my most favourite actresses, Julianne Moore said earlier this week that she would not have taken the role of one of the moms in The Kids Are Alright now, because she’s not gay and that role should have gone to a gay actress. Isn’t that the whole point of acting? If this was a rule now, I probably would have never seen The Children’s Hour, Boys Don’t Cry, Disobedience, The Favourite or so many more of my favourites. She never said anything about her other lesbian roles, in Freeheld or The Hours. Lisa Cholodenko, who co-wrote and directed The Kids are Alright and is a member of LGBT said that both Julianne and Annette Benning could have fooled anyone with their wonderful acting, so it doesn’t matter because they were believable. She also said they were thinking of sending the script to Jodie Foster, who is gay or bi, but chickened out. Either way, I would love the film because both Jodie and Julianne are two of my three favourite actresses (Sally Field is one of the three too). There aren’t that many famous openly lesbian actors in their fifties, so I don’t think The Kids Are Alright would have been such a hit, because who would have played Jodie’s counterpart then? Ellen or Jane Lynch?

7/10

The Addiction

Lili Taylor’s audition piece for The Conjuring. It’s a good horror focusing on vampirism, and it tries to be even better with its black and white artiness.

‘We drink to escape the fact we’re alcoholics. Existence is the search for relief from our habit, and our habit is the only relief we can find.’

‘What’s gonna happen to me?’
‘Read the books. Sartre, Beckett, Burroughs. Who do you think they’re talking about? You think they’re works of fiction?’

7/10

I wrote this review over the course of a few days, while watching Stromboli starring Ingrid Bergman, Scorsese’s Raging Bull and listening to Taylor Swift’s Folklore.

Film Reviews: The Platform. Black Water: Abyss. Anna Karenina. Rust Creek. Virus Tropical. Pom Poko. Alien Resurrection. Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill. Home Sweet Home

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The Platform

Over 600 people are locked in a prison with 300+ floors. There is a lift carrying food delivering food starting from the 1st floor, all the way to the last floor. There isn’t enough food for everyone and the greedy people from top floors get more food and people from 200+ and below get nothing. Every 30 days prisoners change floors. If they’re lucky they move up, if not, they may end up below the 200+ floor. In the age when everything is a copy and it’s impossible to find an original idea, David Desola and Pedro Rivero came up with The Platform and what a beautifully depressing ride it is.

There are 3 kinds of people; the ones above, the ones below, and the ones who fall.

10/10

Black Water: Abyss

First new release at my local cinema since the pandemic and the first film I’ve seen at the pictures since mid March. I thought it was realistic enough and it made me think of The Descent and Steve Irwin, so I cannot complain. This is the second time this week I’m watching something with a crocodile in it. My family and I just finished watching reruns of the original Return to Eden mini series, which features a croc attack in the pilot. The fact that Black Water 2 took place inside a cave made it more entertaining than the first one. I enjoyed the ending too. I really don’t understand why people think it’s a good idea to explore caves, I just don’t.

6/10

Anna Karenina

Not the best adaptation, but not the worst one either. I watched death scenes from all 6 adaptations on youtube, and I think I liked this one the most, especially with the neck breaking.

6/10

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Rust Creek

A villain or villains chasing someone in the middle of the woods has been my favourite genre since I watched Wes Craven’s The Last House On The Left as a kid. The lesson we can learn from Rust Creek is to never get out of your perfectly working car when you’re in the middle of nowhere. Don’t leave the car to look at the map, you can do that from your car. And don’t stop your car in the middle of nowhere when you’re by yourself. Keep driving till you’re surrounded by multiple households. Also, don’t waste your phone’s battery on the recorder app. And always charge your phone while driving.

6/10

Virus Tropical

It’s good, but whoever called it Colombian Persepolis has clearly never seen Persepolis.

5.5/10

Pom Poko

It took me five days to finish this, which helped me realise maybe I don’t need to see all of Ghibli studio’s films. It’s about racoons getting their revenge on people for deforestation, urbanisation and gentrification.

5/10

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Alien: Resurrection

I just really felt like watching the first 4 Alien films. I gave Alien and Aliens 10/10 and 6/10 to Alien 3. This one sees Ripley come back after 200 years as a robot, I know right? Winona Ryder co-stars. Why so many flashing lights though?! I had to watch parts of it with my head down and considered fast forwarding. I will not be watching any other Aliens. Well, I would if Sigourney Weaver was back.

Hey, Ripley. I heard you, like, ran into these things before?
That’s right.
Wow, man. So, like, what did you do?
I died.

4.5/10

Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill

Audra’s acting is fantastic and the way she changed her voice so much and kept it that low through an hour and a half monologue of talking and singing is a masterclass in itself!

5.5/10

Home Sweet Home

So Candace Cameron Bure’s youtuber daughter is an actress now?

2/10

Film Reviews: Dads. Fantasy Island. Animal Crackers. Gretel and Hansel. Back To The Future. Armageddon.

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Dads

Little Bryce Dallas telling her dad Ron Howard he’s embarrassing her by filming her is one of the two highlights of this doc from Bryce. The second one is a video of a dad destroying his teenage son’s PlayStation with a sledgehammer. I liked Dads, but just as you’d expect, there’s nothing new here. The only thing I’ve learned from this film is that Will Smith’s got three children, not two.

‘No video?’
‘You’re embarrassing me.’

6/10

Fantasy Island

I was thinking of watching this at the movies, but it was only on for a week and I saw that it was at 8% on Rotten Tomatoes, so I chose to stay home. The only two things I liked about this film are the Panic Room reference and how the bully didn’t even remember the main character’s name. That’s the thing, bully forgets the minute they’re done bullying, while the bullied is scarred forever.

‘I feel just like Jodie Foster in that Jodie Foster movie.’

3/10

Animal Crackers

‘Why Am I So Romantic?’ is a catchy song. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I think this is my first The Marx Brothers film? Which is weird seeing how my dad is always on about them and yet I’ve never come across their films on TV? Thanks, Mubi for correcting that and for never failing to educate me!

7/10

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Gretel and Hansel

Not as good as the Blackcoat’s Daughter, but it has a lot of potential and is better than I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House. I collected an A1 poster for this film from my local cinema, it’s black and dark yellow and has the grandma pulling a long lock of hair from her mouth.

7.5/10

Back To The Future

Are you telling me Robert Zemeckis really believed we would be flying our cars in 2015? Reality must have hit him hard. Ever since I watched Back to the Future as a kid, every time a kid asked me what year I would time travel to if I could, I’d say I’d want to meet my parents when they were teenagers. Then again, they grew up in different cities and there’s a 4 year age gap between them. None of the kids ever got the reference. I’ve always loved the first film and was never a fan of the other two. I would rate the sequel at 6/10 as It’s always annoyed me that they couldn’t find enough interesting things about the future, so they went back to 1955 again?, and the last one, which I found pointless, at 4/10.

9.5/10

Armageddon

The Twin Towers scene stunned me. Aerosmith providing soundtrack for this film including their hit song ‘I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing’ for scenes including ones with Steven Tyler’s daughter Liv makes me wonder whether Liv was cast first, or whether Aerosmith were asked to record the soundtrack before she was cast, either way a fine example of nepotism, and I’m not even bothered. I didn’t like the film though, what a waste of 2.5h. If you haven’t seen it yet, I suggest you watch the first 8 minutes, which include the fictional destruction a meteor attack brought on New York and then you may as well switch it off.

4.5/10

Film Reviews: Safe. The Assistant. Our Little Sister. Tomboy. District 9. National Gallery. Don’t Talk to Irene. Passion. Friday Night Lights

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safe assistant our sister

Safe

A female suddenly becomes allergic to the environment. Her husband and doctors  are convinced it’s psychological. Possibly the best time to re-visit this Todd Haynes masterpiece starring his muse, Julianne Moore. I never realised how much weight Julie had to drop for this role. I read that she felt awful and pledged to never lose or gain weight for a role ever again. I hate how misleading this poster is, it’s not a post apocalyptic film.

9.5/10

The Assistant

We witness a day in the life of a film producer’s assistant as she gets on with her daily tasks and questions her boss’s integrity when it comes to hiring another assistant. In one of the first scripts since the Me Too movement, the assistant, decides to go to HR and raise a complaint against her boss, even though she has no proof and doesn’t even know if anything has happened. Her current and future jobs are threatened and she backs down. My favourite scene has got to be the one at the very end when she talks to her dad and her dad tells her how proud her parents are of her. That ached, because it’s true, our parents don’t know half of the shit we go through, because we want to protect them and we want to protect the image they have of us, no matter how fake it is. The film ends with the girl witnessing a suggestive scene through a window with his boss and a very poor wanna be actress and her walking back to her flat. I love Ozark, but this is amazing too. I can’t wait to see Julia Garner get an Oscar one day. This film also made me want to check out Casting JonBenet, a Kitty Green film I’ve been putting off for 3 years now. My dad didn’t like this film at all.

9/10

Our Little Sister

Three adult sisters attend their estranged father’s funeral. They meet their half sister and offer to take her to live with them in this old traditional Japanese house their mother left them. I would have never known about this wonderful gem if it wasn’t for Mubi. I’ve updated my 100 Favourite films of the decade, sacrificing a less perfect title.

9/10

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Tomboy

When her new friends mistakenly take her for a boy, an 11 year old girl tries to figure out whether she’s a boy, or if she’s just a tomboy. The secret comes out and her  little sister is very supportive, their mother is not accepting. It made me think of Boys Don’t Cry and I loved every minute of it! This is my 4th Celine Sciamma film, I still haven’t seen Girlhood (come on Mubi, please add it already!), and I’m mesmerized by every single one of them.

9.5/10

District 9

Aliens land in South Africa, people are not kind to them and keep them locked, experiment on them and kill them without a good reason. A male accidentally sprays a liquid on himself and his arm turns into a claw. While being chased by humans, he befriends an alien, and screws him over, but in the end they reconcile. The man turns into an alien ‘The Fly’ style while humans think he’s disappeared. He waits for his friend to come back in 3 years and help him, but we never see what happens. Peter Jackson didn’t plan a sequel, but the ending is very sequel’y. It’s a good movie, but why is it one of the 1000 movies we need to see before we die? I also didn’t know Nathalie Boltt, who plays Cheryl’s mom on Riverdale is South African until I IMDB’d her while watching this film. I laughed when they announced on the news that the main character is wanted for shagging an alien and then everyone he ran into asked him about his sexual preferences.

‘I would never have any kind of… pornographic activity with a fokkin’ creature.’

7/10

National Gallery

While waiting for the galleries to re-open take a virtual step into the London’s National Gallery and follow the staff as they go on with their daily tours and activities. The restoration process looks fascinating. I’ve been to Trafalgar Square so many times, yet I’ve never found time to visit the National Gallery. I mean, I took advanced Visual Arts in secondary school and an Art History elective in my first semester of uni for crying out loud. I need to find time. The film is 3h long, and I would advise you fast forward through the staff meeting parts.

7/10

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Don’t Talk to Irene

Irene is a fifteen year old girl who wants to be a cheerleader. She only has one friend, an imaginary friend, Geena Davis. If you love Geena Davis, you’ll love this! Geena Davis herself admits that Earth Girls Are Easy was a stupid film. She also mentions many of her other films, most notably A League of their Own and Thelma and Louise. I did find it disappointing that the girl wasn’t in love with Geena. Why else would you convince yourself you’re actually talking to your favourite celebrity, while in fact you’re talking to a poster on the wall.

7/10

Passion

Brian De Palma still at it with the erotic thrillers. I didn’t like the film that much while I was watching it, but now when I look back, It wasn’t that bad. The title itself is just a click-bate though. There is a lesbian plot in this and you won’t be surprised until you finally see how they chose to play it out. I wonder if this film is why Rachel McAdams was cast in Disobedience. I remember seeing an interview on Youtube where Rachel Weisz said McAdams got the job because of her acting in Spotlight. This is my least favourite film of De Palma’s and yet I still want it on DVD.

What do you want?
I used to want to be admired.
I admire you.
Well, now I want to be loved.

5/10

Friday Night Lives

I was a fan of the TV Show, but the film is not for me. I kept waiting for Kyle Chandler to pop up on my screen and say: ‘Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!’

6/10

Goodbye, Childhood. Goodbye, Full(er) House

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I still cannot believe we were blessed with such fantastic dose of nostalgia. I remember how happy I was when Fuller House was announced 5 years ago. I loved how they managed to re-enact some of the most famous scenes from Full House including Stephanie driving Joey’s car into the kitchen, Steph and DJ’s telethon performances and so many more. I’m just so happy and sad at the same time. Full House and Fuller House will always be a part of me. Thank you for coming back, Full House. Thank you, Fuller House. See you in 20 years, Fullest House!

Film Reviews: To The Stars. Jack The Bear. Julia. The Woman in the Window. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. the Reverend. Deadly Shores. Ophelia. Popeye the Sailor and Sindbad the Sailor. Nothing in Common

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To The Stars

A bullied teenager befriends a new girl in town. The new girl is a mystery to everyone and likes to lie to everyone about herself and her family. She’s hiding a personal secret that is soon going to come out and change everything. My kind of screenplay. This is probably my favorite LGBT film of 2019. Time to update my Favourite films of the 2010s list.

10/10

Jack The Bear

Exactly what I needed today. The relationship between the two brothers is what’s running the film here. What happened to Miko Hughes’s career after the nineties? He was awesome in every single one of those kid roles he played including in Pet Sematary, Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, Mercury Rising, Full House and so many more. Jack the Bear must have been shelved for years, because the ages of child actors were at least 3 years off from how old their characters were, Reese Witherspoon would have been 16 in 1992, but looked 13 in the film, and Miko was 3.5 in the film, but would have been 6 in ’92.

7/10

Julia

A writer goes to meet her friend who was injured in the war many years ago, and whom she had a crush on as a little girl. I wish I realised she’s the writer of The Children’s Hour before she mentioned it an hour and a half into the film.

‘There are women who reach a perfect time of life when the face will never again be as good, the body never as graceful, powerful. It had happened that year to Julia.’

‘Act gay. Can you act gay?’

‘After all, the whole world knows about you and Julia.’
‘What does the whole world know, Sammy? What does the world know?’
‘Don’t be that way. I’m a sophisticated man. If anybody understands the sex urge of the adolescent girl, it’s me.’

8/10

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The Woman in the Window

A film noir classic. This film was originally supposed to end with a suicide, but the studio said that would be too horrific, so we got this highly disappointing ending instead.

7/10

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: Kimmy vs. the Reverend

It took me almost 3 hours to go through all possible scenarios and some of them were clearly better than others, for example how on Earth is my favourite character accidentally ending Times Up funny? There’s also a diss at Lori Loughlin and the USC scandal. I won’t miss this show that much, I’d rather re-watch 30 Rock.

7/10

Deadly Shores

Carly Schroeder’s last film before she retired from acting and joined the army. I loved Mean Creek as a kid, and I think her acting was better when she was younger. It’s been a month and I couldn’t possibly tell you how this movie ended, I know a young wife followed her writer husband to a property by the seaside, where his deceased wife lived, there she finds out he’s in love with someone else and is planning to get rid of her.

2.5/10

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Ophelia

Let me guess, Naomi Watts refused to do this little adaptation unless they let her play two characters?

Fun fact, I once played Ophelia in a school play, back in 8th grade, I think? This took me back.

6/10

Popeye the Sailor and Sindbad the Sailor

Why this particular Popeye, Mubi? I grew up watching Full House, so whenever someone mentions Popeye or I see someone wearing a Popeye T-shirt, I automatically think of Joey Gladstone and his Popeye impression.

5.5/10

Nothing in Common

This is what Mad Men would be like if it was a comedy.

5/10

 

TV Reviews: Dead to Me Season 2

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Another wonderful season full of twists. I know a lot of people ship Jen and Judy, and I do too, I wasn’t at first because this show was a perfect example of queerbating, but thanks to tumblr (my handle is movieskeepmealive), I now am. Even my dad ships them to be honest, in episode 4 when they get rid of the body and spend the night in that hotel, he said they should just get together already. In season two we learn that one of the girls is bisexual and is seeing a girl for three episodes. In the last episode when Jen forgives Judy and they hug, my dad threw ‘And they’re not a couple?’, which made me feel extremely proud. I definitely haven’t rated another show this high this season, it was perfect. I watched all episodes the minute they were released and then rewatched them again a couple days later with my family. Here are my notes and quotes I’ve written down during my marathon.

Dead to Me 2.01

We learn that Jen didn’t shoot Steve, she killed him with a wooden bird that belongs to her younger son. Noisy neighbor is still noisy and almost exposes Jen by accident. Jen is also seen cleaning up blood.

Judy is back!
It killed itself.
But you do have somewhere to stay? You do have people?
Totally.
You snuck up on me like a fucking Prius.
I was fucking a grown man last night.
Well, you don’t know how I fuck.
You should see the resolution on our street camera.
What the fuck are you doing?
There’s something stuck in your drain.
Your hair smells so good.
He can’t fucking hear you.
Don’t fucking curse at me.
Don’t ever tell a woman that she’s overreacting, because most of the time women are underreacting.
Is Judy coming back?
They broke up again.
Some of your crystals wouldn’t take the hint.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.02

Steve has a twin brother and at first I was very disappointed with the twin twist, but it grew on me. Body’s in the fridge.

Who the fuck is Ben?
Am I dead? Did I die?
Nobody’s dead.
That’s just my face. I have an upset face.
Steve’s missing.
He calls his mom every day.
I didn’t know you had other friends.
They’re semi-identical.
They’re the same fucking person!
I’ve turned him in for money laundering.
Wherever you go, fucking chaos follows.
You think I’m gonna leave my kids to you?
Stay the fuck out of it.
Where did you get this?
I truly can’t remember.
Must be good shit then.
I said I don’t fucking know I’ll be able to.
I gained 10 pounds over summer.
You look beautiful.
Judy’s got it.

9.5/10

Dead to Me 2.03

There were already 6 rats underneath the fridge? I can’t lie, when Jen lost it and told her son and his creepy friend to get the fuck out, I thought this is exactly how I would be with my children if they annoyed me if I had children. Jen goes to the store and buys a lot of lye to dissolve rats in. As per her son’s creepy friend’s advice, girls decide to bury the body in a local forrest.

No need to Six Senth me into a heart attack.
They’ll Shawshank their teeth through everything.
He dumped you after 5 miscarriages.
I never thought he would get angry enough to try to kill you.
I teach a painting class.
She’s an art critic.
The Dark Web.
How to get rid of a dead body.
Her heart will go on and on.
I just need you to get the fuck out of here.
Open the freezer.
I’m freaking the fuck out here!
Nothing was fine.
I may have a new plan.
I forgive you.
Yes, you’re really fucking scary.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.04

Girls learn that Karen’s husband is cheating on her with a man. I loved the scenes in the bar where the girls pretend to be related to the bride to get free drinks, get hit on, just so Jen can throw in the fantastic line about getting one more jig in before throwing themselves off the bridge and another one liner about singing Hallelujah! Judy did get to sing eventually when Jen’s son’s bird died, she ended up singinhg Dream a Little Dream of Me. Jen’s older son Charlie finds Steve’s car and thinks it’s his birthday gift.

We’re middle aged women in a Mercedes.
Was it worth it? You commited a crime.
What was so important you had to look at your phone?
I just wanted to sing a song for Steve.
I’m sorry if I got a little rigid at the fact that we couldn’t stop and sing Halle – Fucking – Lujah.
We’re not in fucking Snow White, we’re in Scarface.
Why don’t you go for a walk and say ‘fuck’ outside.
Thank you for mansplaining to me why you are the most affected by climate change.
Will you be my person?
The bride is my second cousin.
Does it look like my friend wants to fucking dance?
Those girls look like they want to kill themselves, maybe they wanna get a nice jig in before they jump off the bridge.
How have we not talked about Jeff?
Those guys are joined at the dick.
You owe me 83 dollars.
The dog did it.
Sometimes people need a friend more than the truth.
Holy shit, fuck yeah, Mom!

10/10

Dead to Me 2.05

Judy grabs some food with this girl that’s been hitting on her all season and re-adjusts her bra when the girl isn’t looking, which means she clearly likes her. Jen finds out her son found the car and to dispose of evidence sge decides to set it on fire.

There’s been an energetic shift.
I hope so, cause momma needs a fucking break!
Do you really need 8 bottles of wine?
I’m sorry, are you the wine sheriff? Because I am the dick Police and you have the right to remain fucking silent!
You’re my fucking problem. I’m not paying for that.
What were you thinking, you’re over 50.
No I’m not.
Are you sure?
Your personality is offputting.
Maybe later after my chiropractor leaves.
I saw you on my steet cam.
Shut up, it’s not him, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re drunk.
Did that loosen something up?
No one can ever know what happened.
Just help me and get them out of here.

8/10

Dead to Me 2.06

Judy gives Charlie the sex talk. If they ever charge Judy with Steve’s murder, she has the perfect excuse, he threatened to kill her. We learn that Judy is in fact bi and her new girlfriend’s ex that lives with her is the cop who hates Judy.

You’re in so much fucking trouble.
What were you doing sitting in a car for 5h? Oh God.
You just lost your bedroom door.
Happy?
Fucking ecstatic.
Mother fuck…
I lost my virginity in a car, it was wonderful.
100 dollars.
That’s not a lot of money anymore.
Fuck you…
What are you drawing?
Seriously? It’s a check.
What the fuck Judy? You fucking bitch! I know you see me calling bitch. I’m gonna fucking kill you. You’re fucking dead.
You like her.
I do. She makes me feel really good.
You deserve that.
Protect yourself and always get consent.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.07

Judy’s already in love with her new girlfiend. Jen volunteers herself and Judy to throw a vigil for Steve and we learn that they’ve cast Frances Conroy as Steve and Ben’s mom! Charlie attends the vigil and sees pictures of Steve in his car with his baseball cap on, the very same one his girlfriend wore in the pictures they took.

I love you.
Oh Hell no.
Pushing your enormous head out of my vagina was a lot of work.
I’m a middle aged woman in high heels with a bad back.
It’s a sweet gesture, if you didn’t kill the person the vigil is for.
Nah, fuck that.
Of all the lesbians in Laguna.
I cannot have you fucking her girlfriend on the other side of the wall.
That’s not the layout of the house.
I’m sorry you had to do that.
Shitm I want to go missing.
Better taste in women.
You’d be surprised how often perpertrators show up to something like this.
Special thanks to Jen and Judy.
Oh fuck.
God sees everything and sooner or later he’ll bring the truth to light.
If there’s silver lining in all this, it’s me and you.

10/10

Dead To Me 2.08

Ben’s parents turn out to be crazy rich and are thinking of selling their mansion. Charlie’s first girlfriend vandalises their garage and then sends incriminating pictures to the police as a revenge on Charlie for dumping her. Judy wants to become a baby cuddler, but is told that the person has to have a clear Police record.

Why did you have Steve Wood’s car?
People are a fucking mess.
Crazier things have happened.
Literally they have not.
I want you to have whatever you want.
You think an Arts and Crafts teacher is a better suspect than the Greek mafia?
I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say Maid’s Chambers.
Fuck those girls, they don’t deserve you.
Scars show you went through something hard and you survived and it’s your story.
Jesus Christ, it won’t go away.
I know what you did.
I’ve wanted to do it all this time.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.09

Katey Segal aka Peggy Bundy, as in Christina Applegate’s mom from Married With Children plays Judy’s mom! In this episode Jen tells Judy the truth about Steve’s death and she doesn’t take it well. Judy wants to confess to the crime, but Jen ends up confessing herself. She leaves an ‘In Case of Emergency’ binder and writes three letters, to Judy and each of her sons.

I got here and it was like I could finally exhale.
I’ve waited my whole life to meet someone like you.
Once you go in, they make it almost impossible for you not to come back.
You were a kid, they shouldn’t have made you testify.
If I had a lawyer that didn’t get his degree at Costco.
Last thing I needed was to be molested.
You’re my mother. Aren’t we supposed to look out for each other?
I’m gonna take the blame for it.
The night Steve died, I was going to kill myself, but then you called me and you saved me. And maybe you saved me for a reason, so I could do this for you now.
He was walking away, he didn’t attack me. I attacked him.
But you said he was strangling you.
I lied.
What did he say to you?
It doesn’t matter.
Clearly it matters because you fucking killed him. What did he fucking say?!
He said he wanted to die because of me.
I don’t hate you.
You’d stick around for anybody.
I’m not like you.
Stop it. Just fucking stop it!
There’s something I need to confess.

10/10

Dead To Me 2.10

Jen turns herself in and leaves the kids to Judy.

I killed Steve Hale.
And be their legal guardian.
We’re going back to the car, before our bodies are never found.
She’s the fucking angel on Earth.
She sees the good in people even when it isn’t there.
I guess I thought I’d get what I deserved.
That will carry it’s way in the court room.
She was murdered. She was trying to protect me from my stepfather.
But you’re gonna go home and we’re never gonna talk about what we didn’t find here.
Sometimes justice works itself out.
We love you too.
I don’t want to carry around any more pain. I’m tired of feeling sad and hurt. And resenting you would just be punishing myself.
I’m glad you decided to come back.
It would help if you wrote a a letter to the parol office.
No. Because you haven’t changed.
I can reframe it.
I’m buying you out.
Are you about to kill yourself?
Jen, wake up!
What happened.
We got hit.

10/10

Overall rating: 9.75/10

I think I liked this season more than the first one. Like I said, this show is fantastic and I really hope it is renewed for a third season!

Thanks for reading,
Joanne

TV Reviews: How To Get Away with Murder 6.15. Station 19 3.16. 911 3.17. One Day at a Time 4.06. The Simpsons 31.22

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Sad to hear Schooled has been cancelled. At least we still have The Goldbergs, which was just renewed for season 8. The Resident got renewed too! I just need to know about Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist and that’s all my shows for the year. Now I’m just waiting for Younger to come back, which should be sometime next month. These are my last reviews, I have nothing left in my notebook. I now need to catch up on Good Girls, The Good Fight, Killing Eve and Top of the Lake, and finally watch Little Fires Everywhere and Mrs America. For the next few months you’ll see a lot of film reviews (I’ve been obsessed with Mubi the last few months).

Four of my Netflix shows are coming back in June, and I’m not happy that they’re all returning one by one. What am I going to look forward to between July and 2021? No shows will be filming this summer. The shows coming back in June are:

Fuller House – 2nd of June
13 Reasons Why – 5th of June
F is For Family – 12th of June
The Politician – 19th of June

I’m scared of what I’ll rate The Politician. I only started watching it because of Jessica Lange working with Ryan Murphy again. It didn’t look like something I might like, but then I was working a night shift and was on my break and I was too tired to follow a film plot, so I thought I’d give it a try. I hardly liked it. I’ll probably give season 2, 2 ouf of 10 and that will prove what a waste of time this show is. Later in June I’ll catch up on the 6 shows I mentioned above. I’m currently watching Mad Men before it expires from Netflix, and it upsets me almost as much as it did when I started watching it all these years ago. Don Draper is not a good guy. What I do is I fast forward through the storylines I’m not interested in, like relationships I know won’t last and watch all or most scenes with Joan, Peggy and little Sally.

How To Get Away With Murder 6.15

The series finale. Goodbye, How To Get Away With Murder, you were so good! Thanks for being a wonderful addition to my life for the last 6 years! Now I’m forever stuck crying over Frank and Bonnie. The episode starts with them making us believe that someone shot Annalise on the court’s steps. Bonnie doesn’t make it and that’s the one thing that leaves me heartbroken. No one deserved a happy ending more than Bonnie. Wes’s son riding his bike just like Wes did in the opening scene of the show and then taking over Annalise’s How To Get Away With Murder class? Brilliant. And he went to Middleton and Annalise was his mentor? Tegan finally professes her love to Annalise, who turns her down, or does she? They’re seen dancing in flashforwards.

You’re the one who kept us together, Bonnie. We pretended like it was Annalise, but it was always you who kept us safe.
Frank is ride or die for you, just like Bonnie, just like me.
Dead witness when I get my hands on him.
7 grand, just don’t take the stand against Annalise.
Your dad made me kill your sibling.
Your dad killed Lyla, and you know how I know? He had me do it.
I’m a survivor. I survived getting taunted by the N word when I was in grade school. I survived the sexual abuse by my uncle when I was 11. I survived losing my first love, Eve, because I was scared to be gay. Then the death of my son in a car accident, then the murder of my husband. Then alcoholism, depression, grief. And every death leading up to this trial. Who I am is a 53 year old woman from Memphis, Tennesse, name Anna Mae Harkness. I’m ambitious, black, bisexual, angry, sad, strong, sensitive, scared, fierce, talented, exhausted. And I am at your mercy.
I think I’m in love with you Annalise. I tried to fight it, but I’m taking my mask off too. I cannot not have you in my life, because I love you.
What do you really want?
Love, and I can give that to you. I can make you happy.
I can’t promise you the same.
Oliver, thank you. Now I know how to love.

10/10

Station 19 3.16

We learn Andy’s mom is still alive, which is the opposite of what her father let her believe. Andy spends the entire episode thinking her mother killed herself, but she is in fact, very much alive, despite not having any contact with Maya for 20 years. Maya’s father visits and abuses her by pulling her hair. Maya then decides to chop her ponytail off. She then runs to Karina, apologises to her and they get back together. Teddy Altman witnesses it and tries to help Maya convince Karina to take her back. Pac North was bombed and according to rumors, the same was supposed to happen to Grey Sloan Memorial on Greys. Bombs were most likely left in all Seattle hospitals. Apparently one of the Greys regulars was supposed to die too, and my money is on Avery.

Now I think my mother killed herself.
The body remembers the event, the body remembers the trauma.
Sometimes a breakthrough can look like a breakdown.
Why are we carrying rodents, 19?
See, I told you, sex offender.
I ruined the best relationship I’ve ever had, because of him.
You should forgive her.
I love you Maya.

8.5/10

911 3.17

In this episode, a kid gets stuck in an air balloon, after her mother doesn’t even think to hold onto the rope, after disembarking the balloon first. And like my mom said while we were watching this, she didn’t even thank the team for saving her daughter! Kid is saved after Buck jumps into the balloon. A lady gets electrocuted after carjacking a truck, later a male gets stuck in a freezer. Athena pretends she’s SVU’s Olivia Benson. The serial rapist is still at large and Athena decides to stupidly chace after him herself. While Athena is dying, the team including her husband Bobby listen to her getting beat up. I can’t wait to see next week’s episode with the train derailment and Abby’s big comeback! Good for Hen for wanting to go back to school, I’m going back to uni after years of working, so I can relate, but I just hope there’s a way we can keep her on working weekends? I’ll miss her too much.

He took pieces of me.
Send an ambulance, two.
Hearing her struggle.
I’m thinking of going to med school.
There’s been a derailment.
Sounds like you’ve done this before.
I’ve sat where you are.

9/10

One Day at a Time 4.06

It’s the midseason finale. Rita Moreno has a wonderful monologue by the end of the episode about how where she grew up is no longer her home.

I guess my mom knows how to get chicks.
Sometimes I just say random stuff. 2 months ago, the In and Out cashier said ‘Have a Good Day’ and I said ‘Thanks, Mommy’.
There’s like sex and then the next thing you know, you’re married and then you get a divorce and then I’m a single mother struggling to have it all.
So, am I looking at a man now?
Mom, Elena’s being mean to me.
Hey, do you guys know pudding can last a year?
This could be her last chance to see a moon.
Max makes her happy, not pudding happy, but happy.
You’re here for a couple of months and then you’re gone for a couple of months? That’s like my dream!
I waited so long to do this.
I’m just glad we’re finally going to do it.
Are you sure you’re ready?
I’m r-r-ready.
Should we just jump off the roof?
Leslie, help me take this top off!
Don’t scare an old man like Leslie like that.
It was not the Cuba that I remembered. Everything was still there, but it wasn’t home anymore. I guess I wanted to walk back into a photograph, but you never can. I realised, wherever we are is home.
She always spoke so highly of Roberto’s zuccini.
Abuelita always says I remind her of you. I get it, you were a good looking man.
You loved me, I know you would have accepted me.

10/10

The Simpsons 31.22

The Simpsons adopt Santa’s Little Helper’s mom.

Dogs love people clothes.
What a waste of 3 digital photos.
It ate my shorts, now that it’s happened, it’s not that funny.
You have difficulty hearing the female voice. Therefore I’ve deputised Bart to speak for me.
You dog sees everyone who’s ever been here.
In aknowledgements she thanks all 101 dalmatinians.
I feel like that Pixar logo.
Let’s see if they have HBO Go.
It’s so great everyone in this family worked out their issues.

7/10