Monthly Archives: May 2017

A Perfect Getaway. About A Girl. Any Day Now. Mystic Pizza. Normal. Edge of Seventeen. The Angriest Man in Brooklyn. Annie. Horrid Henry: The Movie

30 Tuesday May 2017

Posted by in movies

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A Perfect Getaway

Absolutely perfect, breathtaking views and it takes an interesting turn.

7/10

About A Girl

The person who wrote this clearly watched Easy A and Mean Girls, yet About A Girl adds what those two are missing, depth. Also, didn’t the failed suicide remind you of the one Jenna accidentally encountered on Awkward?

8/10

Any Day Now

How was this not a hit? What a beautiful film and an exceptionally tragic story. Thank you Netflix, this is the best film I’ve seen this year.

9/10

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Mystic Pizza

One of the charming, small town, coming of age films for women. Just what I needed!

8/10

Normal

Before Transparent and Transamerica, there was Normal. It may not cover as many trans issues and it’s more of a ‘how to love a trans person and accept their change’ but it has a lovely and warm take on it. I recommend it, even if it’s just for Jessica Lange and the scene where she walks out of the church after her trans husband is asked to leave.

6.5/10

Edge of Seventeen

Let me get this straight, so ‘Edge of Seventeen’ the genius song by Stevie Nicks hasn’t played once?! Not even the Lindsay Lohan version? This is how uneventful this film is.

6/10

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The Angriest Man in Brooklyn

Everyone who managed to watch this uninspired movie till the end will certainly forever be haunted by the suicide attempt scene, considering it was filmed just a few months before Robin took his own life.

2/10

Annie

That helicopter ride over New York made it all worth it. Signing and acting much worse than the 1982 version I’ve seen. They clearly couldn’t choose between a phone empire or mayoral candidacy so hey let’s make it ridiculous and do both. Even though I went into the film sceptical, the musical really did need its modern version, even if both the script and cast had failed.

3.5/10

Horrid Henry: The Movie

Henry from the books and animated series would never approve. I’ve never read the book, but thanks to Netflix I’ve seen the TV show and it’s one of the best things that came out of Great Britain. It’s extremely realistic for a children’s tv series and it shows you UK life as it is. I have only watched one season last year, and I have been too busy with work, but I’ll definitely catch up on in the summer. When it comes to this film, I thought they made two very good casting decisions, Henry’s mom and Henry’s little brother, they looked and behaved almost exactly as their animated versions. I have just checked Netflix and apparently last Spring I have finished at episode 1.22. I am excited for the 3 seasons ahead, especially since each one has 52 episodes. Can we also acknowledge the fact that no American person would use the word ‘horrid’ to describe someone or even use in a sentence and here it’s flying around 6 times an episode. I have actually witnessed that, living in the UK as long as I have. Anyway, amazing series, horrid film. There, I used the word.

1.5/10

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Greys 13.21. SVU 18.15. SVU 18.16. The Middle 8.21. The Goldbergs 4.21. The Goldbergs 4.22. Riverdale 1.11. Scandal 6.12. F is For Family 2.03. F is For Family 2.04. F is For Family 2.05. F is For Family 2.06. F is For Family 2.07. Modern Family 8.04. Modern Family 8.05. Modern Family 8.06. Modern Family 8.10. The Leftovers 3.02

28 Sunday May 2017

Posted by in f is for family, greys anatomy, modern family, riverdale, scandal, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the leftovers, the middle, tv series

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Greys 13.21

Meredith begging Maggie to forgive her and Maggie saying Mer was the only thing she had left was the best thing about this episode. That and Amelia crying in the elevator.

Maggie, please, please, please.
You were the only thing I had left.

9/10

SVU 18.15

She was raped.
Women should be paranoid, it’s a survival skill.

9/10

SVU 18.16

He raped me on the couch in his office.
He put his hand inside my blouse.
He locked the door, threw me on the couch and raped me.
He pushed me down and raped me.
But you did rape her.
That’s not important.

8/10

The Middle 8.21

Don’t say backup like it’s a regular thing.
My backup cookies!
Did youlose the step ladder you use to kiss her.
Cindy chased him away.
The guy at lunch who can’t open his own banana.

7/10

The Goldbergs 4.21

Adam used a one-ply toilet paper and couldn’t walk.

Smokey and the Bandit reference!
Poor Adam could barely walk.
No matter where I end up, I’ll always be your sister.

7.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.22

With the love of my children and 20 flights a year, we’ll manage.

3.5/10

Riverdale 1.11

5.5/10

Scandal 6.12

The drone is ours.

7/10

F is For Family 2.03

What kind of dildo fucks his hand.
Why does you hand smell like butter?
Why are you giving all the good jobs to the blacks?
Why the fuck am I watching this?
Reading at a 3 grade level is fucking up uour life.
I get it, it was one of those, shut up and fuck parties.

3.5/10

F is For Family 2.04

This song sounds like cats fucking.
If you don’tyou and that weird ass neighboor can stay home and fuck each other.
Don’t improvise, it’s not jazz motherfucker.
It could be worse, we could be that guy.
Dad?

2/10

F is For Family 2.05

I just met jummy Hendricks.
You mean that drug addict who fucked up National Anthem?
Leave him alone or I will fucking eat you.
If you want ice cream, go to you friend’s how and look sad.
And I have to come back home to my husband throwing meatballs at my oldest offspring, in front of the entire fucking neighboorhood.
Poor Jimmy.
Fuck Jimmy, he’s gone!

2.5/10

F is For Family 2.06

Hey guys, saying each other’s names?
He sorts baggage by race.
I’m nine.
Where the fuck is daddy?!
Enjoy your heroin.

2.5/10

F is For Family 2.07

I haven’t slow clapped since the Kennedy was shot.

1/10

Modern Family 8.04

Nathan Fillion joins the cast.

I am a stepson of a business man who opened his home and his jeart for me.
I am a child of an immigrant single motehr.

4/10

Modern Family 8.05

1.5/10

Modern Family 8.06

2.5/10

Modern Family 8.10

How much money you’re gonna leave to a murderer.
My phone English not so good.

4.5/10

The Leftovers 3.02

Why the fick are they randomly going to Australia? Most of this season is based in Australia.

I just do it to feel. i don’t want to die.

6.5/10

The Middle 8.19. The Middle 8.20. SVU 18.15. Bates Motel 5.09. Bates Motel 5.10. Scandal 6.07. Scandal 6.08. Scandal 6.09. Scandal 6.10. Scandal 6.11. Modern Family 8.01. Modern Family 8.02. Modern Family 8.03. Modern Family 8.12. Modern Family 8.19. Riverdale 1.09. Riverdale 1.10. The Simpsons 28.18. F is For Family 2.01. F is For Family 2.02. F is For Family 2.03. Hollywood Darlings 1.01. Hollywood Darlings 1.02. Pretty Little Liars 7.11. Pretty Little Liars 7.12

24 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by in bates motel, f is for family, hollywood darlings, modern family, pretty little liars, riverdale, scandal, special victims unit, the middle, the simpsons, tv series

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The Middle 8.19

That Everybody loves Raymond cameo.

Come on, Lexie, we’re re-enacting the Friends opening.
You guys make life interesting.
No great author ever came from a functional family. You people are gonna make great characters in my book someday.

5.5/10

The Middle 8.20

When you’re young, you’re never scared, but when you become an adult you’re scared all the time. I think that’s how you know you’re becoming an adult.
It’s hard to let go off your childhood.
Go ask your mom if you can have a pool.

5.5/10

SVU 18.15

I was raped.
He put his penis inside me.

5.5/10

Bates Motel 5.09

It always makes my day when they play The Beach Boys on my shows, most recently on The Leftovers. Here, Wouldn’t It Be Nice suddenly started playing.

They found your mother’s body.
It looks like she still lives here.
Everyone has multiple personalities.
Did you do Norma Bates’ funeral?
We did.
I’m so sorry Norma.
Norman’s sleeping now.
You need to take me to her body.

7/10

Bates Motel 5.10

You killed your own mother.
My brother has some mental issues.
Sit down with mother.

10/10

Scandal 6.07

5/10

Scandal 6.08

Abby got played and why the hell are they showing the election from everyone’s perspective? Half the season was about the night of the election.

You said it yourself, Cyrus, I’m a force.

5.5/10

Scandal 6.09

I honestly don’t know how Huck survived this.

Start spraying.
Oh my god, look at all that blood. What’d she do to him?
Huck may be dead. My Huck.
You’ve messed with the wrong Gladiator.
Miracle workers don’t get to quit.

10/10

Scandal 6.10

Alternative universe episode and Dan Buckatinsky is back.

No, we’re not fixing the election.
Fitz is just a handsy man like his father.
I could have fixed the election.
At least I would’ve been the president.
I am not outing somebody else’s husband. You of all people should understand why.

10/10

Scandal 6.11

Elizabeth was killed off! Has Ellen said anything about it on her show? And Mellie’s kids’ lives got threatened. This scene was incredible.

I respect you, you survived more in this town than anyone could ever expect.
Not this murderer who got off on a technicality.
We will kill your children.

7.5/10

Modern Family 8.01

4/10

Modern Family 8.02

Alex had to take a semester off because she couldn’t catch up on school work after having mono for a week?! What?!

6.5/10

Modern Family 8.03

The previous residents were murdered there.
You’re gonna sell that murder house.
Jay is right, Luke’s a dummy.
I’m graduating.
That’s the spirit!

4/10

Modern Family 8.12

1/10

Modern Family 8.19

The thing with no is if you say it too much, people will stop asking you.

7/10

Riverdale 1.09

Hostages aren’t normally allowed to make outgoing calls.
Polly is having twins.
I want my daughter back, you asshole.
The storm of chaos names Cheryl Blossom.

3.5/10

Riverdale 1.10

Don’t go all dark Betty on me.
I’m not normal.
That night I saw the real you, the dark you.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo.
You’re the perfect girl next door.
There’s this darkness inside of me, it’s overwhelming.

10/10

The Simpsons 28.18

Too much praise  creates Millenials, a generation of soft, entitled halfwits who frop out of college to become DJs.

4.5/10

F is for Family 2.01

I have missed this show so much. It’s always a 10.

You’re a pervert?
He’s a cop.
So he can solve your murder.
Is everybody in your family a loser?
Get the fuck out of here.
Oh fuck me.
Oh I should have died in Korea.
That’s not lady like.
What the fuck is wrong with you.
You heartless whore.
He died.

5.5/10

F is For Family 2.02

Wait, is Jeff Garlin reading for Frank’s boss? I never realized it but it sure sounds a lot like him. I need to check that later.

Stop touching yourself.
Shut the fuck up.
How fast can you type? I don’t care I could stare at that rack all day.

1.5/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.01

And another kid wants to be a mortician, because it’s less scary than Hollywood.

7/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.02

How the fuck could Jodie give Mr. Bear away?!

My darkest were a little later.
Shit, Mr. Bear, momma fucked up, I’m so sorry.
I hate them, their hope and hymen.
Everybody say cheese.
Fuck my life.

5.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.11

The kidnapped girl who never got kidnapped.
You ever noticed how she’s always the victim?

5.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.12

This show is just embarrassing itself this season. 5 years later was the stupidest idea. It did not bring anything to the show and none of the liars grew up.

2/10

Greys 13.19. Bates Motel 5.06. Bates Motel 5.07. Bates Motel 5.08. Switched at Birth 5.10. American Crime 3.08. Pretty Little Liars 7.13. The Leftovers 3.01

20 Saturday May 2017

Posted by in american crime, bates motel, pretty little liars, switched at birth, the leftovers, tv series

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Greys 13.19

That opening dialague between Mer and Amelia was a great start. Cross catched abdominal tuberculosis, while visiting India. Can we just appreciate the fact that Arizona said Grey is hot, using those words exactly? I was not happywith her almost scaring Nathan off calling Merder the great love story, that may have something to do with me never liking Derek in the first place.

I go al little dark and twisty, but then I come back.
Please don’t refer to your neice as my secret baby.
Before anything terrible happens.
Like watching your father get murdered when you’re five.
Or like watching your mother bleed out on the kitchen floor.
We’re more alike than we realize.
Cross, you can’t sleep here.
Cross, roll over baby.
I have operated through a miscarriage.
That’s not normal.
Let’s slay the monster then.
Come on, Maggie, move.
She needs a little time to adjust.
Oh and India for a month. No one noticed?
Your face twitched at Grey.
She’s hot.
They were the great love story. That girl’s heart beat for Derek Shepherd.
We’re dancing it out.

9.5/10

Bates Motel 5.06

Your mom, she died.
It says she took her own life.
No, she wouldn’t do that.
Why didn’t you tell me mom died.
Bullshit, she wouldn’t do that.
She had darkness in her.
It’s less stupid than eating pretend food.
Your mother suffered.
That’s why you created me when you were little.
Oh mother, what have I done.

7.5/10

Bates Motel 5.07

 

Norman burried Norma in the woods, ok.

I’ll be back for you as soon as I can. I promise.
I don’t think you’re healthy, Norman.
Did she kill herself?
Doctor Edward went missing over a year ago. He’s pressumed dead.
Norman has mental problems.
Please stay out of this mother.

10/10

Bates Motel 5.08

He dug her up.

3/10

Switched at Birth 5.10

You being back home, making photography, it’s just like the old days.
But you’re deaf.
Surgeons wear masks. You can’t be deaf and a surgeon.
You changed my life.
You came here 15 years too late.
I think that’s what I wanna do, advocate for kids.
And I’ll get to say, I knew him, he was my first love.
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve missed.
This has been an amazing 5 years.
I guess we’re all just really lucky.

10/10

American Crime 3.08

An episode that turned out to be the show’s last. I didn’t think for once that Lily Taylor’s character could be an abusive person. This reveal shocked me and sort of recompensated for how average this show was. I absolutely adored when she told her husband to take care of the son, he clearly doesn’t love, while she’s gone.

Her name was Shae.
Was she pregnant?
Where did this happen?
Her son arrived here a few days ago.
He showed us letters.
Women were assaulted.
She’s a homicide victim it’ll take a while.
Fuck you, seriously go fuck yourself.
I will be going to jail for two years.
He’s your son even if you don’t love him, you have to take care of him.

6/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.13

Who’s banging on the door.
You.
The Girl who accidentally had her phone on flight mode for most of The Girl who accidentally had her phone on flight mode for most of 9th grade.
Jenna Marshall.
Just write initials A D.
Namaste, bitch.
Caleb’s in the hospital.
Stay back, I said stay back.

6/10

The leftovers 3.01

The opening scene where Ivy gets killed by a drone was definitely shocking.

They were targeted by a military drone.
He was only thinking about one thing, escaping so that’s what he did. He escaped.
You never tell someone who is experiencing a delusion, they are delusional.

1.5/10

Bates Motel 5.05. This Is Us 1.15. Switched at Birth 5.08. Switched at Birth 5.09. Scandal 6.05. The Good Fight 1.05. American Crime 3.04. American Crime 3.05. Hollywood Darlings 1.04

17 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by in american crime, bates motel, hollywood darlings, scandal, switched at birth, the good fight, this is us, tv series

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Shows I will follow or need to catch up on this summer:

  • Girlboss
  • Twin Peaks
  • OITNB
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
  • Degrassi
  • The Catch
  • F is for Family
  • Nashville
  • Younger
  • When Calls the Heart
  • Feud
  • Transparent
  • When We Rise
  • The Handmaid’s tale
  • Shut Eye
  • Mad Men – give another try
  • Stranger Things – give another try

Bates Motel 5.05

He looked like a madman.
Did she leave with a man?
Probably.
How amazing would she be as a grandmother?
With a look of an escaped convict.
Norma told me Norman killed his dad.
Sometimes I see my mother when she’s not really there, sometimes I become her.
Come on Norma, you were not that drunk.
Norma Bates found in an apparent suicide.

4.5/10

This is Us 1.15

I think we were all shocked when Kevin left his play to calm Randall down during his anxiety attack. I’m really happy he has though, I love when a TV show prove that people can actually change and the depression talk was relatable.

Do I have issues, yes, but deep down I’m awesome.
You’re putting too much pressure on yourself son.
I have struggled with depression ever since I was a teenager.
Count all the extra painkiller I had left.
Any of that scares you?
No.
You never really talk about your dad’s death.
I can’t seem to, I’m not there yet.

4.5/10

Switched at Birth 5.08

Simone is back!

We have an electric bill??
I didn’t meet the Kennishes till I was 15.
I think most people are trying to say the right thing, they just don’t know how.
I’m basically getting paid for taking doctors out for lunch and let them hit on me.
Regina, my sponsor, because I’ve been so unhappy that I almost fell off the wagon last week.
This is my son, Carlton.
I’m the funky artist with a cool car.
it’s like I’m saying goodbye to being a kid.

5.5/10

Switched at Birth 5.09

Travis tells his mother her brother molested him, it’s one of the best episodes.

That’s the guy who did it.
Guess what, the brother you worship molested me.
She’s never going to believe me.
I know my signing wasn’t good last night. I was just so nervous.
He took me into the garage.
He’s not making this up.
You never saw it, and how could you not notice how things changed between us, whenever he was around.
That’s why I was angry, because you never learned my language.
It’s too late. I don’t need it now, I needed it when I was 12.
I was scared, I thought it was all my thought. I couldn’t tell you.
And he knew that all that’s why he took advantage of me. Because I was the deaf kid who didn’t tell his mom.
I was helpless.
I’m so sorry.
Please help me, please.
I think what he needs to hear is that you believe him.
I believe you.

10/10

Scandal 6.05

You say dance monkey, the monkey dances.
First rule of self defence, don’t get into the car.

4/10

The Good Fight 1.05

Everyone knows it’s the SVU vs Trump case. From the looks of it, NBC won’t show Trump’s episode, but SVU has been renewed for season 19 and that’s all that matters! This episode of The Good Fight had Elsbeth Tasconi and Matthew Perry’s character come back and Kathy’s brother from The Big C join the cast. We’ve also learned that Maya’s father may be framing her.

That would require your father turning on you.

3.5/10

American Crime 3.04

So my favorite storyline finished in episode 4? That’s a bummer.

I screwed guys in alleys because that was better than where I came from.
Your son did it to himself.

2/10

American Crime 3.05

I haven’t watched the first season, but this one is only slightly better.

Women get raped all the time.
It asks for work history, what If I don’t have any?
I don’t want to do this anymore.
He hit me.

2/10

American Crime 3.06

Episode 6 and Shay is dead. Season 3 seems to be very slow, but I thought It concluded really well.

I write them to God.
Minimum wage 7.50 an hour.

3/10

American Crime 3.07

Felicity Huffman’s character this season is amazing.

She failed her drug test.
You brought that crazy woman into this house!

6/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.04

Jodie lost a shitload of weight after Dancing with the Stars, she looks fantastic!

Fuck your minivan.
There’s a difference between yoga breathing and annoying asshole breathing.
I’m not your sweetheart.
Honey.
Why didn’t you tell me once I drive the fuck out of here, I can’t return it.
I don’t have time to deal with your crazy ass.
Two can’t play this game.
What would your one million followers say?

6.5/10