New year, same old me. My family and I are rewatching Desperate Housewives and I’m honestly so happy. This show has been a part of my life for so many years, and this refresher was just much needed. It will probably take us 6 months to watch it all and I cannot wait for these Wednesday and Sunday evenings. Back when it was still on air, my favourite characters were Lynette, Bree, Edie, Katherine, and Andie. We’ve only rewatched season 1 so far, but I seem to like Bree more than Lynette now? It’s been 9 years, which is more than enough perspective and even though my goals haven’t really changed, I have learned a lot about myself in those 9 years, I now know what I want from life, and I know what makes me happy. I’m also healthier, and as a result, happier, which is the most important thing in the world.

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist 1.01

Gilmore Girls’s Lauren Graham and Suburgatory’s Jane Levy are back on my TV in this musical comedy. Lauren’s character’s name is Joan and action takes place in my favourite city,  San Francisco, so I’m sold. Lauren and Jane work at a start up and Jane is hoping Lauren’s character promotes her to a managerial role. One of the characters is going through a rough patch, and sings ‘Mad World’. The main character’s dad had a stroke and cannot communicate or react to anything that’s going on around him. It’s quite predictable, as her gift lets her know what her dad is feeling. It’s hard to rate this episode, because I…cried through the entire thing? The depression and dad’s health issues storylines moved me.

Why are you singing to me?
Child, I’m completely baked. I got nothing going on in my head now.
The song he sang only to you may have been his cry for help.
We live in a really mad world, but if you open up and express what you’re feeling to others then it’s gotta be better than what you’re doing now. Living you whole life in your head, like this prison my dad is in now, it’s torture.

6/10

The Simpsons 31.11

I have watched all 31 seasons, and it struggles to find new storylines and be funny at this point. In this episode, Marge’s ex-boyfriend emerges and builds a robot that looks exactly like her and then attempts to marry her.

Don’t you see why I hate this?
Because you hate everything?

1/10

Carol’s Second Act 1.11

I was really disappointed to learn there’s no episode this week. This episode wasn’t the show’s best though.

They don’t just care, they care intensively.

3/10

Grace and Frankie 6.01

Grace has secretly gotten married and is moving out.

If it helps, I’m giving you away now.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.02

Stuffed Grace and Frankie? Grace cannot get up from anything. Frankie’s smile when she saw Grace’s name come up on her phone. Frankie getting Grace off the toilet is ultimate friendship goals.

Give me a hug.
Hi Mom!
I don’t even let my kids call me that.
Tell me why we should keep this Happy Meal toy from 1988?
It’s a collector’s item.
What about these welding woman magazines from the 1970s? Do you weld?
Not as much.
Where would be a good place for it?
The floor? But I know that’s not right.
How many necklaces do you need?
Some of them are belts.
If you were a good teacher, you would know every child learns differently.

6.5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.03

Death row inmates are entitled to their last meal.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.04

Princess stuck on the can.
The bottoms up.
Designed to gently lift you with a single touch of a button.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.05

I told you Ii’m not gonna do a sex podcast with you.
I wouldn’t know, you won’t let me see you perform.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.06

The response from customers at Costco.
Where is the chicken in that place?
Shitter beat toilet.

5/10

When We Rise 1.03

Rachel Griffiths and Mary-Louise Parker star as grown up versions of the main characters. When Parenthood’s Sam Jaeger’s character dies, his family kicks his partner out of the house. The third main character looks after a baby, and when he wants to foster him, social workers find his HIV medication and take the baby away.

I am proud of my son and his friends.
The president and Mrs Clinton.
You sir can end this.
We’re lesbians.
We support students of all backgrounds.
When did we become such dykes.
We were always dykes.
His wife took him this morning.
We have to take this baby.

8/10

When We Rise 1.04

Did you travel abroad?
I traveled with a broad.
Take a lap around this ward.
We were in love. The kind of love that makes people cross the oceans, have babies and grow old together. And if we were straight, we would have designed our entire lives around that. But two women, then, we had no words for it, no paradime, nothing and you’re right. It’s my lack of vision that’s kept me from having this, a family. The truth is we’re not done yet.

6/10

When We Rise 1.05

This generation has grew up with Ellen and Will and Grace.

10/10

Modern Family 11.11

Finally a fantastic episode. This show is so much better without Phil and Claire’s kids. Phil’s dad dies and he never met his great grnd children.

All this childhood memorbilia.
But there’s no room for my baby teeth.
When all the dogs get back their income tax return.
I just came through the unsecure back door.
They call me peeper.
These are my blessings.
BJ – Blue Jeans.
I see light. Should I go towards it?
I was ready to bite my own arm off.
I still have the tooth you lost to a marshmallow.
Oh so that one you kept.
Your mother could have been a competitive eater. No foof ever expired in our house.
Guys I just saw a ghost.
Oh, girls, grab your things, we’re going.
11 year old Manny would feel disgusted by me.
Well now you know how 12 year old Lily feels.
A swooper.
A swooper? Lily grab your things. Not a smoke demon that terroroses farm children.
Back up, back up. Keep going.
Joe save up 6 months allowance and donated it all to charity. It’s one of those rare moments as a dad when you realise you really dropped the ball.
How you survived the golden age of bullying I will never understand.
I can get into this CSI train.
Locating my diary from ’83.
Everybody warned me this would happen.
Hi Cam.
You wish.
I never even saw Gloria go into the dressing room.
Maybe you should try the dress on that lady’s wearing.
You paid the speech specialist to shame it out of me.
Not the hot one.
Will you throw in a puppy?
It’s a miracle you didn’t need police escort to school every day.

10/10

Modern Family 11.12

And…. we’re back to mediocrity.

I came in here to die.
He’s making plans for the future.
That’s why you have rivals, it’s something to live for.
Hold on, let me write this down.

1.5/10

The Goldbergs 7.11

Murray learns he’s actually a year younger than he thought he was and celebrates his 50th birthday, once more. Surprisingly good, the show hasn’t had a good episode in a while, so this was a nice surprise.

10/10

The Goldbergs 7.12

And we’re back to it being bad again. I didn’t even write anything down about Schooled, because it’s not memorable at all.

Jodie Foster?

0.5/10