Category Archives: bates motel

The Middle 8.19. The Middle 8.20. SVU 18.15. Bates Motel 5.09. Bates Motel 5.10. Scandal 6.07. Scandal 6.08. Scandal 6.09. Scandal 6.10. Scandal 6.11. Modern Family 8.01. Modern Family 8.02. Modern Family 8.03. Modern Family 8.12. Modern Family 8.19. Riverdale 1.09. Riverdale 1.10. The Simpsons 28.18. F is For Family 2.01. F is For Family 2.02. F is For Family 2.03. Hollywood Darlings 1.01. Hollywood Darlings 1.02. Pretty Little Liars 7.11. Pretty Little Liars 7.12

24 Wednesday May 2017

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The Middle 8.19

That Everybody loves Raymond cameo.

Come on, Lexie, we’re re-enacting the Friends opening.
You guys make life interesting.
No great author ever came from a functional family. You people are gonna make great characters in my book someday.

5.5/10

The Middle 8.20

When you’re young, you’re never scared, but when you become an adult you’re scared all the time. I think that’s how you know you’re becoming an adult.
It’s hard to let go off your childhood.
Go ask your mom if you can have a pool.

5.5/10

SVU 18.15

I was raped.
He put his penis inside me.

5.5/10

Bates Motel 5.09

It always makes my day when they play The Beach Boys on my shows, most recently on The Leftovers. Here, Wouldn’t It Be Nice suddenly started playing.

They found your mother’s body.
It looks like she still lives here.
Everyone has multiple personalities.
Did you do Norma Bates’ funeral?
We did.
I’m so sorry Norma.
Norman’s sleeping now.
You need to take me to her body.

7/10

Bates Motel 5.10

You killed your own mother.
My brother has some mental issues.
Sit down with mother.

10/10

Scandal 6.07

5/10

Scandal 6.08

Abby got played and why the hell are they showing the election from everyone’s perspective? Half the season was about the night of the election.

You said it yourself, Cyrus, I’m a force.

5.5/10

Scandal 6.09

I honestly don’t know how Huck survived this.

Start spraying.
Oh my god, look at all that blood. What’d she do to him?
Huck may be dead. My Huck.
You’ve messed with the wrong Gladiator.
Miracle workers don’t get to quit.

10/10

Scandal 6.10

Alternative universe episode and Dan Buckatinsky is back.

No, we’re not fixing the election.
Fitz is just a handsy man like his father.
I could have fixed the election.
At least I would’ve been the president.
I am not outing somebody else’s husband. You of all people should understand why.

10/10

Scandal 6.11

Elizabeth was killed off! Has Ellen said anything about it on her show? And Mellie’s kids’ lives got threatened. This scene was incredible.

I respect you, you survived more in this town than anyone could ever expect.
Not this murderer who got off on a technicality.
We will kill your children.

7.5/10

Modern Family 8.01

4/10

Modern Family 8.02

Alex had to take a semester off because she couldn’t catch up on school work after having mono for a week?! What?!

6.5/10

Modern Family 8.03

The previous residents were murdered there.
You’re gonna sell that murder house.
Jay is right, Luke’s a dummy.
I’m graduating.
That’s the spirit!

4/10

Modern Family 8.12

1/10

Modern Family 8.19

The thing with no is if you say it too much, people will stop asking you.

7/10

Riverdale 1.09

Hostages aren’t normally allowed to make outgoing calls.
Polly is having twins.
I want my daughter back, you asshole.
The storm of chaos names Cheryl Blossom.

3.5/10

Riverdale 1.10

Don’t go all dark Betty on me.
I’m not normal.
That night I saw the real you, the dark you.
In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo.
You’re the perfect girl next door.
There’s this darkness inside of me, it’s overwhelming.

10/10

The Simpsons 28.18

Too much praise  creates Millenials, a generation of soft, entitled halfwits who frop out of college to become DJs.

4.5/10

F is for Family 2.01

I have missed this show so much. It’s always a 10.

You’re a pervert?
He’s a cop.
So he can solve your murder.
Is everybody in your family a loser?
Get the fuck out of here.
Oh fuck me.
Oh I should have died in Korea.
That’s not lady like.
What the fuck is wrong with you.
You heartless whore.
He died.

5.5/10

F is For Family 2.02

Wait, is Jeff Garlin reading for Frank’s boss? I never realized it but it sure sounds a lot like him. I need to check that later.

Stop touching yourself.
Shut the fuck up.
How fast can you type? I don’t care I could stare at that rack all day.

1.5/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.01

And another kid wants to be a mortician, because it’s less scary than Hollywood.

7/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.02

How the fuck could Jodie give Mr. Bear away?!

My darkest were a little later.
Shit, Mr. Bear, momma fucked up, I’m so sorry.
I hate them, their hope and hymen.
Everybody say cheese.
Fuck my life.

5.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.11

The kidnapped girl who never got kidnapped.
You ever noticed how she’s always the victim?

5.5/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.12

This show is just embarrassing itself this season. 5 years later was the stupidest idea. It did not bring anything to the show and none of the liars grew up.

2/10

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Greys 13.19. Bates Motel 5.06. Bates Motel 5.07. Bates Motel 5.08. Switched at Birth 5.10. American Crime 3.08. Pretty Little Liars 7.13. The Leftovers 3.01

20 Saturday May 2017

Posted by in american crime, bates motel, pretty little liars, switched at birth, the leftovers, tv series

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Greys 13.19

That opening dialague between Mer and Amelia was a great start. Cross catched abdominal tuberculosis, while visiting India. Can we just appreciate the fact that Arizona said Grey is hot, using those words exactly? I was not happywith her almost scaring Nathan off calling Merder the great love story, that may have something to do with me never liking Derek in the first place.

I go al little dark and twisty, but then I come back.
Please don’t refer to your neice as my secret baby.
Before anything terrible happens.
Like watching your father get murdered when you’re five.
Or like watching your mother bleed out on the kitchen floor.
We’re more alike than we realize.
Cross, you can’t sleep here.
Cross, roll over baby.
I have operated through a miscarriage.
That’s not normal.
Let’s slay the monster then.
Come on, Maggie, move.
She needs a little time to adjust.
Oh and India for a month. No one noticed?
Your face twitched at Grey.
She’s hot.
They were the great love story. That girl’s heart beat for Derek Shepherd.
We’re dancing it out.

9.5/10

Bates Motel 5.06

Your mom, she died.
It says she took her own life.
No, she wouldn’t do that.
Why didn’t you tell me mom died.
Bullshit, she wouldn’t do that.
She had darkness in her.
It’s less stupid than eating pretend food.
Your mother suffered.
That’s why you created me when you were little.
Oh mother, what have I done.

7.5/10

Bates Motel 5.07

 

Norman burried Norma in the woods, ok.

I’ll be back for you as soon as I can. I promise.
I don’t think you’re healthy, Norman.
Did she kill herself?
Doctor Edward went missing over a year ago. He’s pressumed dead.
Norman has mental problems.
Please stay out of this mother.

10/10

Bates Motel 5.08

He dug her up.

3/10

Switched at Birth 5.10

You being back home, making photography, it’s just like the old days.
But you’re deaf.
Surgeons wear masks. You can’t be deaf and a surgeon.
You changed my life.
You came here 15 years too late.
I think that’s what I wanna do, advocate for kids.
And I’ll get to say, I knew him, he was my first love.
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve missed.
This has been an amazing 5 years.
I guess we’re all just really lucky.

10/10

American Crime 3.08

An episode that turned out to be the show’s last. I didn’t think for once that Lily Taylor’s character could be an abusive person. This reveal shocked me and sort of recompensated for how average this show was. I absolutely adored when she told her husband to take care of the son, he clearly doesn’t love, while she’s gone.

Her name was Shae.
Was she pregnant?
Where did this happen?
Her son arrived here a few days ago.
He showed us letters.
Women were assaulted.
She’s a homicide victim it’ll take a while.
Fuck you, seriously go fuck yourself.
I will be going to jail for two years.
He’s your son even if you don’t love him, you have to take care of him.

6/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.13

Who’s banging on the door.
You.
The Girl who accidentally had her phone on flight mode for most of The Girl who accidentally had her phone on flight mode for most of 9th grade.
Jenna Marshall.
Just write initials A D.
Namaste, bitch.
Caleb’s in the hospital.
Stay back, I said stay back.

6/10

The leftovers 3.01

The opening scene where Ivy gets killed by a drone was definitely shocking.

They were targeted by a military drone.
He was only thinking about one thing, escaping so that’s what he did. He escaped.
You never tell someone who is experiencing a delusion, they are delusional.

1.5/10

Bates Motel 5.05. This Is Us 1.15. Switched at Birth 5.08. Switched at Birth 5.09. Scandal 6.05. The Good Fight 1.05. American Crime 3.04. American Crime 3.05. Hollywood Darlings 1.04

17 Wednesday May 2017

Posted by in american crime, bates motel, hollywood darlings, scandal, switched at birth, the good fight, this is us, tv series

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Shows I will follow or need to catch up on this summer:

  • Girlboss
  • Twin Peaks
  • OITNB
  • Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
  • Degrassi
  • The Catch
  • F is for Family
  • Nashville
  • Younger
  • When Calls the Heart
  • Feud
  • Transparent
  • When We Rise
  • The Handmaid’s tale
  • Shut Eye
  • Mad Men – give another try
  • Stranger Things – give another try

Bates Motel 5.05

He looked like a madman.
Did she leave with a man?
Probably.
How amazing would she be as a grandmother?
With a look of an escaped convict.
Norma told me Norman killed his dad.
Sometimes I see my mother when she’s not really there, sometimes I become her.
Come on Norma, you were not that drunk.
Norma Bates found in an apparent suicide.

4.5/10

This is Us 1.15

I think we were all shocked when Kevin left his play to calm Randall down during his anxiety attack. I’m really happy he has though, I love when a TV show prove that people can actually change and the depression talk was relatable.

Do I have issues, yes, but deep down I’m awesome.
You’re putting too much pressure on yourself son.
I have struggled with depression ever since I was a teenager.
Count all the extra painkiller I had left.
Any of that scares you?
No.
You never really talk about your dad’s death.
I can’t seem to, I’m not there yet.

4.5/10

Switched at Birth 5.08

Simone is back!

We have an electric bill??
I didn’t meet the Kennishes till I was 15.
I think most people are trying to say the right thing, they just don’t know how.
I’m basically getting paid for taking doctors out for lunch and let them hit on me.
Regina, my sponsor, because I’ve been so unhappy that I almost fell off the wagon last week.
This is my son, Carlton.
I’m the funky artist with a cool car.
it’s like I’m saying goodbye to being a kid.

5.5/10

Switched at Birth 5.09

Travis tells his mother her brother molested him, it’s one of the best episodes.

That’s the guy who did it.
Guess what, the brother you worship molested me.
She’s never going to believe me.
I know my signing wasn’t good last night. I was just so nervous.
He took me into the garage.
He’s not making this up.
You never saw it, and how could you not notice how things changed between us, whenever he was around.
That’s why I was angry, because you never learned my language.
It’s too late. I don’t need it now, I needed it when I was 12.
I was scared, I thought it was all my thought. I couldn’t tell you.
And he knew that all that’s why he took advantage of me. Because I was the deaf kid who didn’t tell his mom.
I was helpless.
I’m so sorry.
Please help me, please.
I think what he needs to hear is that you believe him.
I believe you.

10/10

Scandal 6.05

You say dance monkey, the monkey dances.
First rule of self defence, don’t get into the car.

4/10

The Good Fight 1.05

Everyone knows it’s the SVU vs Trump case. From the looks of it, NBC won’t show Trump’s episode, but SVU has been renewed for season 19 and that’s all that matters! This episode of The Good Fight had Elsbeth Tasconi and Matthew Perry’s character come back and Kathy’s brother from The Big C join the cast. We’ve also learned that Maya’s father may be framing her.

That would require your father turning on you.

3.5/10

American Crime 3.04

So my favorite storyline finished in episode 4? That’s a bummer.

I screwed guys in alleys because that was better than where I came from.
Your son did it to himself.

2/10

American Crime 3.05

I haven’t watched the first season, but this one is only slightly better.

Women get raped all the time.
It asks for work history, what If I don’t have any?
I don’t want to do this anymore.
He hit me.

2/10

American Crime 3.06

Episode 6 and Shay is dead. Season 3 seems to be very slow, but I thought It concluded really well.

I write them to God.
Minimum wage 7.50 an hour.

3/10

American Crime 3.07

Felicity Huffman’s character this season is amazing.

She failed her drug test.
You brought that crazy woman into this house!

6/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.04

Jodie lost a shitload of weight after Dancing with the Stars, she looks fantastic!

Fuck your minivan.
There’s a difference between yoga breathing and annoying asshole breathing.
I’m not your sweetheart.
Honey.
Why didn’t you tell me once I drive the fuck out of here, I can’t return it.
I don’t have time to deal with your crazy ass.
Two can’t play this game.
What would your one million followers say?

6.5/10

Bones 12.09. Greys 13.16. Bates Motel 5.03. Bates Motel 5.04. This is Us 1.12. This is Us 1.13. This Is Us 1.14. Modern Family 8.18

12 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by in bates motel, bones, greys anatomy, modern family, this is us, tv series, Vera Farmiga

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I will not be posting reviews of the last two Bones episodes, simply because they were the last two ever, and they were perfect and emotional and I wanted to really take those 90 min in and I believe I’ve succeeded. I was back to being a teenager falling in love with Bones for the very first time all those years ago  Also, I will be posting a separate single review of Thirteen Reasons Why.

Bones 12.09

Gordon Gordon is back and David’s wife guest stars. And it’s a hell of a final season!

Ah yes, poor doctor Sweets.
I could hardly pass this gorgeous creature without saying hi.
Buck and Wanda.
It’s not a good time, I’m looking for trees.
Bones, you’ve got this. I love you.
Bone crasher.
My wife and I have a few questions for you.

9/10

Greys 13.16

They’ve cast Eric Roberts as Avery’s dad!

I’m Jackson Avery, I’m your son.
Jackson, oh son!
You’re a surgeon?
Tell me something, anything, I know nothing.
I guess what I’m asking is are you happy?
I was born into that life and she was born for it.
Jackson, now that’s wonderful.
Thank you mom, for everything.

8/10

Bates Motel 5.03

He killed her, then froze her, who does that?!
She was everything to me. Our mom was crazy, she locked us up in a room for a day, two with no food, no bathroom. And the thing that got me through all that was being with Norma.
When did you two split up?
She left when she was 17. She took off with some guy from high school.
Because you were raping her.
I don’t wanna talk about that.
You don’t need to announce her, You’re not our butler.
It wouldn’t work because you’re both in love with me.
He’s your son.
And you’re my brother.

10/10

Bates Motel 5.04

He just ran out on the road, got hit, no one is at fault.
Don’t ever do that to me again.

2.5/10

This is Us 1.12

Well those Jane Fonda tapes are really working for me.
I want to freeze the time with them, so I can get a little bit more.
He’s pretty much perfect. I’ve seen what else is out there.

6/10

This is Us 1.13

What’s beneath the weight is more weight.
He’s this incredible little person.
They all loke him more than me, everyone does.
I have seen, and I’m not exaggerating here, every romantic comedy ever made.
Sounds like a recap, not a question.
In loving memory.
My ex husband, who i haven’t seen in 12 years shows up on my doorstep, what am I supposed to say?
You always have to go big, don’t you, Pearson?
For you, Sophie, always.
Sophie’s Kate’s best friend.
I can’t dad. I love her.
So this whole party was for Sophie.
I couldn’t make Kate feel better.

10/10

This is Us 1.14

How’s Kate?
I created a fake Facebook profile, so I could keep up with you.
You walking into my fourth grade class was the best thing that ever happened to me.
He worked himself into a nervous breakdown.

6.5/10

Modern Family 8.18

Man, that stuff is good.
Yes, we’re not an idiot.
What’s your team?
Gay. I’m not sure why that’s relevant.
This is the first part of every Lifetime movie about college girl meltdown.
And Tony from the Warehouse.
Watch a jerk steal your spot.

3.5/10

Bones 12.08. Bates Motel 5.02. The Middle 8.17. The Goldbergs 4.18. This is Us 1.11. Riverdale 1.06. Big Little Lies 1.03. Big Little Lies 1.04. Big Little Lies 1.05

30 Thursday Mar 2017

Posted by in bates motel, big little lies, bones, riverdale, the goldbergs, the middle, this is us, tv series

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I have decided to leave Grace and Frankie, When We Rise, Feud and When Calls the Heart till April/May. I won’t have time to catch up on Transparent till late May. I’m starting Thirteen Reasons Why later next week. There’s also 10 films expiring on Netflix today and tomorrow that I want to watch.

Bones 12.08

That slow motion shot of Tempe throwing dirt on her dad’s caskett was one of the prettiest things I’ve seen all year. Sully is back, 10 years later.

Max used to buy this soda for the kids.
Sully, the only guy besides Booth who ever stood a chance.
You’ve aged.
Am i imagining or is there some sort of history there?
Without Sully, I don’t think I would have been ready for this, us. And I love this.
I love you.
I love you Bones, always.
My father gave up his life to protect my children.
The hardest battle Max Keenan started was over 10 years ago when he reentered my life.
Bye, dad.

5.5/10

Bates Motel 5.02

Vera’s French is the cutest thing I’ve heard in a while! Caleb finds Norma’s body. There were so many beautiful scenes this episode, including Caleb crying on Norma’s grave. I don’t understand why is Norma surprised Norman wants to date a girl that looks exactly like her, he was sexually obsessed with her last season!

I’ve gotten to know this nice girl Joanna, she’s really cute and nice.
I’m studying French.
What kind of French course is this?
Your sister, she passed away. It was a terrible tragedy. She died. She comitted suicide. It made the local news.
Norma Bates 1974-2015.
Norman Bates 1995-
I’m more of a doer.
What is it you’re always doing?
She looks like me, just like me, but 10 years younger.
Are you gonna be one of those guys?
Dylan, Norma’s kid. Your kid.
Don’t you dare talk about her like that!
We don’t have to talk about how you raped your sister.
She wouldn’t kill herself.
I warned Norma about her kid. I told her he’s gonna snap some day, she didn’t listen to me.
He’s not gonna get away with it.
Holy shit.

10/10

The Middle 8.17

Sue looked so pretty in that party dress! I was shocked to learn she likes Sean!

I’m not getting up at 6 to buy books.
I should have stayed at Ferguson.
Local woman finds hat in a tree.
I made the Dean’s list this year, of people graduating.
Anything you’d like to tell me?
Happy Birthday to you!
That was 5 months ago!
Cindy was the famme fatale.
You look so beautiful!
Do you need someone to go with you? Ron, get over here!
I was chasing something that wasn’t probably ever a thing.

5/10

The Goldbergs 4.18

Duh, that’s why she’d take the class. To learn.
Known as Bare.
She’s making them wear a bunch of schmatas.
Fuck me.
All that matter is me and you.
9 kids, are you crazy?!
There’s a medical emergency.
It’s time for you to start your life.
In loving memory of Lucky.

6/10

This is Us 1.11

Or girlfriends.
I prefer that.
See you’re not homophobic.
The thing is, that I’m kinda in love with you.
He told me that he loves me and I didn’t say it back.
I’d marry the hell out of you, ever since the moment I met you.
This is gonna be a great place to raise a family.

5/10

Riverdale 1.06

School for troubled youth.
I’m here to see my sister Polly.
Does he know that I’m here?
Who, Polly?
Jason.
Polly, Jason is dead.
I pay the sisters good money, you think they don’t notify me if Polly get’s a visit?
Did you kill Jason Blossom?
This whole car is a crime scene.

4.5/10

Big Little Lies 1.03

Reese crying over learning her new friends has been raped is the single good thing on this show.

Can I call you Madeline?
As opposed to what? Arthur?
And then he got aggressive.
Then he finished.
You’re the first person I told about it.

2/10

Big Little Lies 1.04

So Reese was sleeping with that colleague of hers? And I thought this show couldn’t get any more predictable. And what up with that random car accident?

Somebody’s biting our daughter.
She was sexually assaulted.
Anything in his background?
Like he was angry he had come to this world.
Plan? For what?
For what to do when he hurts you.

3.5/10

Big Little Lies 1.05

Wait so the play is about puppets fucking and they all think it’s appropriate for children?!
Why don’t you and Doug have sex? Because I was raped?
I’d kill him if I could.

1.5/10

Bones 12.07. Bates Motel 5.01. Greys 13.17. Nashville 5.11. Switched at Birth 4.05. The Goldbergs 4.15. How to Get Away With Murder 3.15. This is Us 1.10. The Simpsons 28.16. The Good Fight 1.03. Modern Family 8.15. Riverdale 1.07. The Good Fight 1.02. Big Little Lies 1.02

25 Saturday Mar 2017

Posted by in bates motel, big little lies, bones, greys anatomy, modern family, nashville, the goldbergs, the good fight, the simpsons, tv series

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Bones 12.07

Bones 12.07 was unnecessary. Did they really have to kill my favorite recurring character off?! He almost freaking made till the end! I am so mad about this. Rest in peace, Max Keenan. Max died saving his grandchildren. This was honestly one of the saddest episodes we’ve seen lately. I’m actually crying while rewriting these quotes, because I remember when he was introduced like it was yesterday. Why Bones why?! Max, you were awesome.

You had a pacemaker ingested into your chest and you didn’t tell me?
We’re sending you to a safe house.
There’s been a shooting. It’s the safe house where we put Max and the kids.
Where’s grandpa?!
They weren’t expecting your father in law.
Your father in law made sure they didn’t hear anything.
Pacemaker sends signal.
Tell me those children are okay.
Tempe.
I can help.
Dad, I’m here.

7/10

Bates Motel 5.01

Norman is daydreaming his mother is still with him and imagining someone who isn’t there being right next to you is the most delightful and painful way to get through life. I know best, I’ve been doing it since I was like 6. I just don’t understand why they’re introducing some Norma look alike as Norman’s future girlfriend. He’ll kill her by the end of the series anyway. Emma and Dylan had a baby?!

Oh, mother.
It is what we signed for.
Norma Louise must be over the moon about this.
We are Bates Motel, this is not that kind of establishment.
For starters, I’m dead.
A mentally ill boy and a dead woman. We’re doing it. We’re actually doing it.
I don’t know the exact circumstances of how he came into this world.
It’s not like we haven’t done this before.

7/10

Greys 13.17

That Cristina reference and Ellen taking as back to season 1 with her deliverance. The way she said ‘name one’ and we’re back in season 1 listening to her wanting to learn more about Derek. Mer and Nathan are happening and I’m very happy with it. All I can hope for is that season 14 is set in New Zealand. Ellen’s directorial debut is up next week! And I need to rewatch the episode, because Snapchat deleted my snaps of that Kiwi boy speech when he said he worshipped Mer since day one.

We were surgeons, now they’re surgeons.
Her reasons are for sex.
When I said I do, I meant I do.
How could you let me talk to her like that?!
You are at least as messed up as I am.
I would love to ask Cristina how suffocated she felt by you.
You don’t get to call what’s normal.
I was already an amazing mom.
16:22 is the time of death.
I think I’m in love with Jo.

7/10

Nashville 5.11

So when is Nashville back from the hiatus? In June? They all sang with Rayna and it was beautiful.

Why did they want Maddie and not both of us? We both sang.
We’ll have Juliette’s album and we need to get Maddie in the studio as soon as possible.
They’re about undying love.
I hate that I can’t share it with Deacon. Each year I want to pick up the phone and tell him.
I just forgot how sad I was for one moment and I feel like the worst daughter.
After all those years ot feels like we’re 19 again locked our eyes for the first time.
God knows the both of us, we tried.
That’s the only way we can finish it they way she would have loved.

10/10

Switched at Birth 4.05

I don’t think she knew what it meant, I didn’t. I had a history lesson before I got out of preschool.

She meant wherever you came from.
I stayed up all night, went to different pizza parlers.
I don’t matter, they’ll just let me starve to death.
Until they’re expelled, I’m not eating.
This is for the people who told me I’m pretty, for a black girl.

4.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.15

Adam went to school with that kid from Little Rascals! Shitty episode otherwise, at least Erica and Jeff hooked up!

This is Dave Kim, a tiny freshman creeper who dresses like Welma from Scooby Doo.
When it’s really Jeff Schwartz who you love.
The real Rid Robb.

2/10

How to get Away With Murder 3.15

Gow old was Charles when he raped Wes’s mom? 16?! I am so hating this whole thing about who killed Wes.

I’ve been running for 10 years.
3rd floor bathroom.
Another entitled law student.
I’m gay. Not eating for 48 hours is only gonna up my shirtless selfie game.
This is so illegal.
So is killing your professor’s husband.
Your husband took what he thought he deserved, raped that woman and  life came out of it. A black boy that you and he could never love.
Christof wasn’t Wallace’s son, he was Charles’s.
All along supporting your son, the rapist.
That he was my Barrack.
When did you know with Wes?
When it was too late.
They found Rebecca’s body.
He was a murderer.
I’m doing this for you, all of you. So you don’t have to go to prison and get naked in group shower and crao in front of people that may rape you. It’s death in there.
You can’t go down with what I did.
Wes killed my husband, he confessed to it that night. In the end he was a monster and he killed himself.
Better to kill yourself than to go to jail.
It should have been me, I know that. He’s a rapist and probably a killer.
Stop that girl!
He felt like my son.

10/10

This is Us 1.10

Did they just ask an obese person if they binge? Why do you think we can’t stop? Toby has a heart attack.

Do you ever binge?
Yes.
Maybe when you were a kid.
Also lat month.
Di I do this? I did, didn’t I?
With the food. I didn’t know If I was bringing it up too much, or if I wasn’t enough. I never knew what to say. Did I do this to you?
I don’t know.
The one thing I cannot live without is you.

4.5/10

The Simpsons 28.16

The Parent Trap reference! Can we discuss how this show is still in its prime 28 years after it premiered?

Every night they showed us The Parent Trap. What kind of parents break up twins and never tell them the other exist?!
Simpson, I’m giving you a raise.
No need to take your pants off.
It’s not what you think. I just had a big lunch.
I do everything, but masturbate.

8/10

The Good Fight 1.03

Really mad about Maya turning out to be bi, not gay.

I’m Marissa, by the way.
Maya.
I work for Diane, but when she’s out and you want anything, let me know.

3/10

Modern Family 8.15

Britney Queers.
Loco.

3/10

Riverdale 1.07

Kudos for that Wes Craven reference! RIP horror genius.

Like an extra in a Wes Craven movie.
We need to find Polly before the Blossoms do.
The noose is tightening on your murdering daughter’s neck.
He was working for me, the weekend of July 4th.
My niece or nephew.
My parents, I don’t think they want to help you.
Everything for Alice Cooper’s daughter.

3.5/10

The Good Fight 1.02

I’ll rape you and cut your tits off.
See, it’s not so bad. *man’s toilet*
Who’s that?
My new assistant.

6/10

Big Little Lies 1.02

Go fuck yourself.

I’m not having sex.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Sexual assault? He kissed the girl!

2.5/10

Castle 8.21. Bones 11.11. Bones 11.12. Bones 11.13. Scream 2.09. Scream 2.10. Grace and Frankie 2 (episodes 1-7)

20 Saturday Aug 2016

Posted by in bates motel, bones, castle, grace and frankie, scream, tv series

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Castle 8.21

Yes, I still haven’t seen the series finale, and I don’t plan on seeing it anytime soon. It took me 2 years to watch Private Practice’s finale and I still haven’t watched Dexter’s finale.

Someone breaks into Castle’s office and Castle is sure he is marked for death. It’s one of the most hilarious episodes that will make me miss Castle dearly.

Hello, it’s the Omen!
I’m marked for death.
That same flash of light appeared in the crime scene photos.
If by people you mean Satan.
He’s dead, so unless you have an Ouiji board.
I am being targeted by evil forces.
I saw his eyes. It was the demon.
Your husband has been marked for death.

10/10

Bones 11.11

I like how late in the year Bones now is. I can watch everything I need to and leave Bones for late August for when I’m stressed about not having any other shows for another month. After the break, Hodgins is all cranky and can’t seem to get pass his accident. Who can blame him?

You are so much more than this job.
That’s right. Bill me.
You don’t adjust kids’ art.
A man who treats a woman like dirt is not a man at all.

6.5/10

Bones 11.12

A wonderful Hodgins centred episode. Bones punched a guy! Again! And it was the funniest thing in a long time.

I have plenty of feeling. Anger, rage.
Royal Diner is our spot, don’t change it because of me.
All bitches need to be muzzled.
Booth, stop, you could lose your job for striking a civilian. Where I could face disciplinary action at most.
The jaw is so swollen he couldn’t tell if he wanted to.
Now you’re looking at me like a piece of meat.
I would never look at you like that, I’m a vegetarian.

10/10

Bones 11.13

This episode is everything the next season of Bates Motel will be. And Bones just got a new villain.

There’s no evidence the killer did anything sexual with the diseased.
You mean like taxidermy?
He lived with the body for an extended period of time.
For at least 6 months.
He spoon fed them.
Ever think you’re a little cray-cray yourself?
It’s the perfect location for serial murder.
In a way he and I are very similar.
He was turning his victims into marionettes.
You were right mommy, there are no monsters.

10/10

Scream 2.09

Aside from me and your mother, who else has been in your room?
Oh yes please, keep playing dumb.
Why is that picture upside down.

8/10

Scream 2.10

What an incredible episode. Noah and Zoey were buried alive and one of them could not be saved.

Please come save me.
I’m not gonna give you that satisfaction.
Of course I do, because you’re just my head saying what I already know.
She’s still down there.

10/10

Grace and Frankie 2.01

I watched it in June and was too lazy to rewrite my notes. The first episode was probably the weakest, with everyone stressing about not telling Robert about Sol and Frankie.

Are you fucking kidding me?
I don’t care why you became a rabbi.
I have 40 years of anger built up.
Last year when I said…I didn’t mean it.
By the power invested in me by the world wide web.

3/10

Grace and Frankie 2.02

Hilarious. Vin Diesel fucked Frankie.

Sol fucked Frankie. Sent.
Some shit is going down.
Vin Diesel fucked Frankie.
I’m so happy it was Vin Diesel who slept with my mom.
Whatever Mary-Louise, why don’t you go work at McDonalds.
Who’s Vin Diesel?

7.5/10

Grace and Frankie 2.03

Not as good.

That’s where I doodle.
All of Downton Abbey.
Be the bossy hamster with a drinking problem. They’re the ones who inspire their grandchildren to become writers.
I am gayer than you.

3/10

Grace and Frankie 2.04

Awful.

Ditch the booze.

1.5/10

Grace and Frankie 2.05

Frankie takes the driving test and it’s fun. Also, Still Alice is mentioned.

I’m not like that one with that guy with that redhead.
You too Judas have sold me up the river.
Fuck your take a break.
You were high when you studied.
Will you spend the rest of your life being roommates with that hippy nutbag?
This year she’s also been there for me in a very real way.
When the DMV is more fun than brunch with old friends.
You wanna talk about it?
I love you for that question, but no, thanks for now.
Why does it have restricted written on it?
I passed my written test, but my eyes didn’t. So no nighttime driving.
Great, so you have half a licence and I have no friends.
Or I had more license than I had yesterday. And you may have a new best friend. Best friends!
Kill me now.
Give me the keys. It’s getting dark.

10/10

Grace and Frankie 2.06

Frankie throws a bon-voyage party for her friend and Grace is not happy with it.

I painted this with my vagina.
I hated every job I ever had.
I thought we fired him.

4/10

Grace and Frankie 2.07

Sadly I don’t remember this episode well enough, but I did give it a 10.

This is a Lifetime movie.
I’m a member of Peta.
Animals are getting smarter.

10/10

 

SVU 17.23. Bates Motel 4.10. Scandal 5.21. When Calls The Heart 3.10. Scream 2.03. Scream 2.04. Pretty Little Liars 7.01

28 Tuesday Jun 2016

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Finally had time to watch the few season finales I’ve been postponing. Not Castle though, I am too scared to finish Castle.

SVU 17.23

Woah, it’s the first time they mentioned Olivia’s middle name and it’s Margaret! My middle name is Margaret and I have always hated it, this is actually comforting. I never liked Dots. I didn’t get used to him and he always felt like a temporary replacement.

In situations like this..
Women get killed.
That man just threatened me. Shut the building down and get the footage.
You’re lieutenant Benson? Thank you for getting my grandkids out.
I left him in there. It’s on me.
I’m O negative, that works.
You can’t judge yourself for being relieved that you survived.
Olivia Margaret Benson.

9.5/10

Bates Motel 4.10

What a painful episode. Norma became one of my favorite leading ladies the minute I watched the pilot. I really hoped we still had a year before Norman kills her. This is sad, I watched the whole episode in a state of utter shock and blurriness. Have you guys seen The Conjuring 2 yet? Vera brings so much innocence and emotion to her character, I really hope she decides to come back for the third one.

She’s got the most beautiful blue eyes.
I do taxidermy.
I’m her husband, where the hell is she!?
I love you. I always will.
She was just beautiful before words.
Half queen, half little girl.
She had innocence in her.
Mother, oh mother!
Come on, mother, let’s take you home.
Mother, mother!

5.5/10

Scandal 5.21

Happy to see both Jake and Cyrus fight for the vice presidency.

My take is, he murdered the love of my life.
The shooting.
You set that up?! People died for no reason.
Student vs master. This election should be me and you.
I am not a white man, I got here on my own. I managed to escape you, like Liv managed to escape you. Unlike you, I earned it. This stage is mine.
The day of your brother’s wedding.
He won’t hurt you, you’re his son.
Cyrus Bean.

10/10

When Calls the Heart 3.10

How cute was that Elizabthe and Jack flashback montage? Rosemary and Lee have always been the cutest couple, they just clicked the first day, they’re both witty and fun. I’m glad they got married, and never had any foulish drama.

It’s Henry.
We can use the fabric I bought for my wedding.
Rosemary, your wedding dinner?
We need to move faster everyone, We’ve got to get away from the river.
You get yourself in one of those right now, or I will pick you up and toss you in there myself, rocking chair and all.
Where was the tea party?
In the pantry, by the river.
Jack, Maggie is missing, the children say she went by the river.
Maggie, where is Jack?
The water took him away.
Anyone who can ride a horse, follow me.
From the first day I met you, I knew that no matter what, we were meant for each other. I know God meant for us to have a life together.
Please stay with me, please.
The whole town is praying for you to get better.
I am the luckiest man in the world.
Not half as lucky as I am.

8/10

Scream 2.03

Was Audrey ready to kill her best friend? Just like that? A very average episode, interesting idea with Emma checking that log book to see in which room her father stays.

Piper murdered Riley months ago. You’ve been getting emails from a dead girl.
They’re memories, not opinions.
Any missing girls to report?
Is this old dude bothering you?
I fractured her jaw.
Someone here called the police?
I did.
Look under your seat.

7/10

Scream 2.04

What a crappy episode! Everyone is drugged and has a kissing orgy. Disgusted and very disappointed. When they didn’t have an orgy they didn’t do anything interesting, we learned that Emma keeps a dream journal and Jake was found in a Carrie kind of way.

2/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.01

Alison married the new A and k illed the old A, what? Aria was supposed to see who the Aussie/Brit was, heard a couple of Aussies talking and never talked to them, because she heard a song and went to hook up with Ezra, wtf? How is this show still on air? I though last season was shitty and this one will certainly beat season 6 in suckiness.

My parents knew you?
Aussie or British.
She’s talking to a British guy or possibly an Aussie.
We’re about to hand over one of our own.
I know you killed Charlotte.

4/10