Film Reviews: Petite Maman. Phoenix Rising. Onibaba. Downton Abbey: A New Era. Firestarter. Wonder Woman. Never Gonna Snow Again. Hud. No Doubt: Live in the Tragic Kingdom

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Petite Maman

I’ve seen everything directed by Celine Sciamma including her short Pauline. Tomboy is still my favourite film of hers, closely followed by Portrait of a Lady on Fire. Petite Maman is better than Girlboss, but weaker than Water Lilies. It’s got the tenderness of Tomboy and a cool fantasy twist. I’ve waited a long time to watch this and you can catch it on Mubi.

8/10

Phoenix Rising

I’ve waited a long time for this documentary. In 2007 one of my best friends at the time was obsessed with Marilyn Manson, his music, his persona. His relationship with Evan and his marriage with Dita was all she talked about for the two or three years we were friends. I was obsessed with Thirteen (2003) at the time, because I could relate to one of the aspects of the film and as a millenial and a film buff, I had seen Wood in numerous films before. The Manson/Wood relationship was never ‘goals’ to me, like it was to my friend. Like many, I didn’t get it, and as it turns out rightully so. I have been following this case for a few years now, but there were two or three things that Evan exposed about her private life that I didn’t know before and she’s also confirmed that the Heart-Shaped Glasses music video features footage of her rape. While she was targeted by Manson because of her Thirteen role, I really appreciate that she never said she regreted making it, despite being asked to make out with a 23 year old actor at 14. It is worth remembering it is not her role in Thirteen that ruined her life, but Brian Warner.

7/10

Onibaba

I really want to know if R.L. Stine saw this film before writing one of my most favourite Goosebumps books The Haunted Mask. It also happens to be my favourite Goosebumps episode, so obviously I loved this film, especially the ending. I can’t believe the show is being remade, it was such a huge part of my childhood. I can’t wait to watch every single episode and pretend it’s the 90s again.

9/10

Downton Abbey: A New Era

I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much at the movies. I was sobbing uncontrollably for the last hour at the threat of not one but two characters dying. I followed this series week by week as it aired and visited Highclere Castle a few times because everyone in my family loved this series so much. I really hope there’s another film I can look forward to.

8/10

Firestarter

I don’t remember the original starring little Drew Barrymore well, but I’m sure it was better than this. Ryan Kiera Armstrong predominantly plays the same character as in American Horror Story, but I found her a little less annoying there. This is the weakest film I’ve seen at the cinema since 2018, when I left the screening of Slender Man after the first 10 minutes.

‘You’re telling me I can’t trust the TV?’

2/10

Wonder Woman

My favourite part is when she calls London hideous. I hate that they decided to set it during WWI. This is my second attempt at watching this film, which just happens to be available on three of my services, HBO Go, Netflix and Prime. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film available on more than two of my services at once, this must mean it’s in demand. I recommend you watch Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, Captain Marvel or Black Widow instead.

4/10

Never Gonna Snow Again

This is my 6th Szumowska film and I’m about to watch Infinite Storm right after, which I’m very excited for. I hate how Americanised this is, with kids dressing up for Halloween and a yellow bus taking them to some posh French school. There are no yellow school buses and trick ‘r treating in Poland, trust me, I wish there were. Also, the description says they’re middle class, but they’re clearly rich?

6/10

Hud

HBO helping me get closer to completing the 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die challenge. A wonderful western/drama, nominated for 7 Academy Awards. Some of the scenes involving animals are concerning, but people didn’t really care about animal cruelty back then.

8/10

No Doubt: Live in the Tragic Kingdom

This may be my favourite album ever made. I have listened to Sunday Morning on most Sunday mornings for over 20 years now. Don’t Speak and Just A Girl are the soundtrack to my life. Every song is amazing, and I really needed to rewatch this today.

Wel…come…to…the…tra…gic…king…dom!

9/10

Film Reviews: West Side Story. Marry Me. Eve’s Bayou. Sing 2. Zulu. The 355. Studio 666. The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window. And Just Like That… The Documentary

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West Side Story

I only watched this for Rita Moreno who played Anita in the 1961 version. I still don’t understand why this remake was made. The one thing I liked about this version was the change they made to the scene where Anita almost gets raped. Moreno’s character saves her (in the 1961 she is saved by a male store clerk) but here she tells the boys they grew up to be rapists. In the 1961 version the male shop keeper just asks them to leave.

6/10

Marry Me

Jimmy Fallon has a bigger role in this than most of the film’s supporting characters. Also, this is an exceptionally cute romcom. Anyone who was around 20 years ago remembers how big Jenny from the Block’s singing and acting careers were, she was everywhere! Show me a dance group that did not have their own dance routine to Let’s Get Loud. The biggest problem of this film is the lack of chemistry between J.Lo and Maluma. Also, apparently Maluma was 27 when they filmed this, and I don’t know how old J.Lo’s character is supposed to be here, but I’m guessing not 27 and this film failed to show what possibly their characters could have in common, apart from fame and music that is. I spent most of the film trying to figure out which of the many songs J.Lo sings in this she performed on The Voice back in November, and then when it finally came on, it clicked instantly. I also laughed a few times, including when someone commented on one of the character’s many instagram lives ‘What’s wrong with this guy’s nose?’ at Owen Wilson’s nose. All I can say is, my mom will love this film.

7/10

Eve’s Bayou

This film made me feel grateful to be a Millennial, aka the last generation to have spent their childhood outdoors and not on their phones. I mean, I did spend most of my time in front of the TV, but I did hang out a lot outside too. And then when we finally got phones, we would buy ringtones and wallpapers from magazine covers, boy, those were the times. Little Eve is played by Jurnee Smollett, Michelle’s best friend on Full House. Roger Ebert called Eve’s Bayou the best film of 1997 and gave it 4/4 stars, and it truly is an exceptional film.

8/10

Sing 2

They’ve cast Pharrell Williams in a non-singing part, what’s the logic there? Sing 2 is significantly weaker than the first film, as I mainly enjoyed the competition show, (duh I’ve seen all 21 seasons of The Voice after all), which was the main story in the original, but it’s still a fun kids film featuring songs from Aerosmith, Taylor Swift, Alicia Keys, Drake and Ed Sheeran to name a few. Also how good is Reese Witherspoon’s singing voice? This made me want to rewatch Walk the Line, or you know, Sing.

5/10

Zulu

Almost forgot this was expiring from HBO Go today and I promised my dad we’d watch this. I’m taking a class on exoticism in cinema and the mass wedding scene at the beginning of the film where dozens of naked African women dance with much older African men they have never met, is the definition of both exoticism and orientalism.

6/10

The 355

I have been a huge fan of Jessica Chastain since her wonderful performance as the sensitive and vulnerable Celia in The Help. The 355 is a fun spy film starring not one, but five strong female leads. There is also a fair share of queerbaiting, which I didn’t mind at all. The one thing I didn’t like is the ugly dress they gave Jessica to wear in the first action scene. What was that awful pattern? And the hideous colour?

7/10

Studio 666

Naturally, as a massive Foo Fighters fan since the 90s, I had to go see this at the cinema. Studio 666 is funny and gore, and I would have totally believed you if you told me Rob Zombie directed this (he didn’t). Dave Grohl got John Carpenter to make a cameo and Carpenter also volunteered to compose the theme music for the film. Foo Fighters kicked ass in this musically, as they always do. I remember when I got my first electric guitar as a kid, and ordered a custom made strap that said ‘Foo Fighters’ in some wacky font, just so I could pretend I was a member of the band as I played those famous riffs (poorly, but still). I have not touched a guitar since 2013, when I moved out, and my mom sold it without telling me, because she was struggling financially. That experience traumatised me, but I do believe I will pick up an electric guitar sometime in near future. I have so much of the band’s merch in my house, it’s crazy. Also, I am so ready for album number 11. And just as one of the characters in the film, I would have also yelled the lyrics to Best of You at the top of my lungs if I ever met the legend.

7/10

The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window

This was the most unrealistic thing I’ve seen in a while. It made zero sense. So this is how dreadful Veronica Mars would have been if she had no detective skills? Couldn’t we just get another season of Veronica Mars instead? Anyway, all I want to know is if Kelly Clarkson texted her bestie Blake Shelton when she saw the picture of one of the characters kissing Blake’s Sexiest Man Alive People Magazine cover. I bet she did.

4/10

And Just Like That… The Documentary

Sex and the City was not about the sex, it was about the friendship and the city, and this documentary made it seem like it was all about fashion. It should have been called And Just Like That… The Fashion.

5/10

Film Reviews: Last Night in Soho. Dear Evan Hansen. Halloween Kills. The Addams Family 2. In the Mood For Love. Cloudy Mountain. Suspria. Thirst. Batman Returns

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Last Night in Soho

The first part of the film is much more artsy and visually stunning than anything Edgar Wright has done so far. While neon lights give us Suspiria (1977) vibes, I would never want to sleep in a room with lights flashing through the window all night long. I’ve seen most projects Thomasin McKenzie has been in since Leave No Trace, and she shows her best acting here in the scene outside of the pub when she’s telling her grandma she’s okay, even though she clearly isn’t. The plot twist is quite predictable, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I enjoyed this film a lot, I was worried it would be pretentious with all it’s talk about how great London is, but it was acually a really nice surprise.

8/10

Dear Evan Hansen

I’m a huge fan of Julianne Moore, so naturally I had to see this at the cinema. I heard people say a lot of bad things about it, but it is not that bad. I haven’t seen the musical, but the storyline left me thinking about it for a day or two. If you enjoyed season one of Thirteen Reasons Why, as you should, you will like this. The film stars Amy Adams and SVU’s Danny Pino as Ben Platt’s parents. I really liked the little montage of Connor’s family walking through the halls, trying to go on with their daily lives: his father at work, his mother at the grocery store and his sister at school, before one of them coming home early and having a breakdown. I think I’ve seen every film and TV show Kaitlyn Dever has been in and she is really good here too. They didn’t show this film at my local cinema, but thankfully I still had a Showcase Cinemas voucher that expired during the pandemic that I was able to use.

5/10

Halloween Kills

I’ve been a fan of the original since I first watched it in 2004 and I am grateful to John Carpenter for resurrecting this series, and most importantly, not ending it yet. Halloween Kills is not as good as its predecessor, but it is still hella entertaining. Original characters are brought back, and some of them, just like some of the new ones, do not make it out alive. There is a very depressing subplot of an innocent man being chased down by a mob of angry people that is quite tense and just painful to watch. There was a couple sitting behind me that were jumping with every single scare, saying ‘no, keep running, stupid’ and laughing at all the jokes, making my viewing even more pleasant. And fun fact, I have a Halloween (1978) phone case on my phone right now, just like every year, because it is the season after all.

6/10

The Addams Family 2

I was not expecting there to be a Jaws reference, including the dolly zoom shot! I’ve always loved the Addams Family, the films, the TV shows, the musical, so here I am, watching this animated sequel. The Adams Family 2 feels more like a National Lampoon instalment, than an Addams Family film, and maybe that’s why it is a lot more entertaining than the first animated film. While I fell asleep at the cinema during the first one, I was wide awake today. The sequel takes a very dark turn quite quickly and I’m sure kids will have a lot of questions parents may not feel comfortable answering. Wednesday still remains one of the most relatable characters out there, as at one point she refuses to be hugged by a character and says:

I’ve been social distancing since birth.

6/10

In the Mood for Love

I watched this on Kanopy today for my Chinese Cinema class. I have been putting this one off for a long time, but can’t really explain why. I do like films about people having emotional affairs that never turn sexual, so I enjoyed it quite a lot. Also, it helps that it’s visually stunning. I must admit I haven’t seen anything from this director apart from My Blueberry Nights, but now I really want to.

8/10

Cloudy Mountain

An awesome Chinese disaster movie I chose to watch at my local Odeon over the new Bond film. They should have stuck with Danny Boyle’s vision and his casting of Tomasz Kot as the villian and I would have been there. Cloudy Mountain is an entertaining watch, it features some amazing cinematography choices and it’s the most depressing film I’ve seen this month.

7/10

Suspiria

‘Tis the season to re-watch Suspiria and be blinded by the pretty lights all over again. Living in a boarding school has never been scarier. Is this really everyone’s favourite Argento? I like Deep Red more.

7/10

Thirst

There are so many visually intriguing shots in this film, one of the first ones is of the character playing the recorder and then vomitting blood into it. So simple, yet effective. It sets the tone of the film. I loved The Handmaiden, Stoker and Oldboy, so naturally I had to watch this. If you like vampire films, check it out on Mubi this spooky season!

6/10

Batman Returns

The first 40 minutes were great and anyone watching would know it’s a Tim Burton film, but after the cemetery scene, it turns to any other superhero movie, and those just aren’t for me.

Also, did her eyesight fix itself when she came back from the dead?

6/10

Film Reviews: Bonnie and Clyde. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The Many Saints of Newark. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Dwarfs. 2:22. Story. Crows. The Ghost Club

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Bonnie and Clyde

I’ve always had a problem with the film’s portrayal of asexuality. Why is it something he has to overcome? While the real Clyde was a victim of sexual assault in prison, there is no proof of his asexuality or impotence for that matter, so why create this storyline? So the strong criminal can lose his virginity with a hot promiscuous girl to satisfy counterculture youth’s sexual fantasies?

8/10

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Michelle Yeoh is the gem of this film. A few months ago I gave A Touch of Zen 8 stars, and I cannot possibly give CRHD more. I’ve never been a fan of Wuxia films, and I don’t think this will ever change.

7/10

The Many Saints of Newark

If this didn’t make you want to watch The Sopranos, nothing will. It was an excellent HBO show and you should all check it out, oh yeah and the film too. Michael Gandolfini reprises his late father’s famous role in this entertaining prequel full of violence, death and family drama.

7/10

Invasion of the Body Snatchers

I’ve seen it twice today, and I must raise my rating to 8 stars, because it is memorable, even with the studio enforced ending (and opening). And it is better than the two remakes I’ve seen.

8/10

Dwarfs (2017)

A brilliant short from Piotr Sułkowski that reminded me of Jan Švankmajer’s Alice, but it’s not…for kids. Also, Gwen Stefani’s What You Waiting For music video. And I love both.

7/10

2:22

I watch a lot of Screen Australia productions, but this is too long, overcomplicated and just bad.

4/10

Story (2019)

An eloquent short about seeing people’s lives through a social media Story.

6/10

Crows aka Wrony

A wonderful Polish film. Child actors truly are a special kind of talented. It’s always amazing to see child actors carry a film (especially not a family one) so effortlessly.

8/10

The Ghost Club

This film takes the prize for the worst acting I’ve ever seen. Why is everyone’s line delivery so stiff? Not just child actors, adults too! It’s like everyone is reading from a teleprompter or something. If they sped up the dialogue and got rid of the million pauses, it wouldn’t be that noticeable. This film is Britt Robertson’s debut and she’s the only half decent actor in this film and the only one who had a career after this.

2/10

15 Best Films Watched on Amazon Prime Video in 2021

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Here is the list of 15 Best Films I Watched on Amazon Prime in 2021. I’ve reviewed some of them in my previous posts. Check out my other lists for the year, for best films I’ve watched on Netflix, Mubi, HBO Go, and at the cinemas. Have you seen and loved any of them? Or maybe you didn’t like some of them? Let me know in the comments and if you wish, add me on Letterboxd too.