Congrats to Fuller House on being renewed for season 2!

Quick reminder for all you lovely people:

The Family, a new show from one of Shonda Rhimes’s writers starts tonight, March 3rd
Bates Motel is back March 7th
Nashville is back March 16th
Heartbeat, a show from Brad Siberling and Amy Brenneman starring Melissa George starts March 22nd
The Catch, new show from Shonda Rhimes starring Mireille Enos and Peter Krause premieres March 24th
Bones is back April 14th
Jodie Sweetin has been confirmed to star on Dancing with the Stars, which premieres March 21st.

I am going on a holiday and the next post will appear in about 2.5 weeks.

Greys 12.10

Flashbacks to Cristina and their first day made me cry.

I’ve been to therapy before. I’ve dealt with the big stuff. This is not big stuff.
Have you read my file?
That file is a page turner.
She loved him and that’s what makes him family.
But what the hell do I do now?
The truth may scare you, but you can do whatever you want.


SVU 17.15

Who is this exemplary human being?
In custody crying like a bitch.
I’m sorry you can’t play with the doggy now.
Her job is to protect children.
Is your husband a pedophile?
I’m on leave pending a transfer to a position that doesn’t involve juveniles, sex offenders or sexual assault.
Anyone who googles them for the rest of their lives will know that their father is a pedophile.
With time and therapy.
Men who do this have to hide it. They get very good at hiding.
I slept with him for 12 years.


Shameless 6.06

Freshly destroyed kitchen window.
Also it appears a large Hispanic family has been living under the house.
I call myself Ambassador for the pre deceased.
No you damn fuck, Everything I say is bullshit.
No way that retarded donut is Gallagher. Probably found him in a discard basket from good will.
You wipe tables. You feed baby.
Is this your new family?
You’re inviting me to your party?
Me and Debbie might need a backup place.
Debbie is having a girl?
Who’s car is this?
Slow down, I’m pregnant.
Debbie’s family is throwing her a gender party.
We’re gonna hire a bouncer. A shitty scary one.
I am refugee. I eat fingers. Don’t fuck with me.
Debbie is having a girl and I don’t know what I’m doing.
Buy back the house.


Shameless 6.07

How are you liking Anna from Gilmore Girls as Chuckie’s grandma? Every time The show gets better with every time Frank calls Chucky a retard. I am not liking Ian’s new boyfriend.
I’ll watch chocolate-vanila babies.
I didn’t do gay sex in juvie.
I kinda like being in the middle of everyone’s shit.
Where’s your body guard. Gone, probably for a long time.
It’s okay to write about mass murderers.
Possible retardation.
He’s a little slow between the ears.
And that, my multicolored friends is freedom.
And the retard.
Fellas and Russian.
2 dollars.
For a text?
Fine, 20.
God is always watching, when you’re naked…
God must have some serious insomnia.
Now they just spread all over my waist like a sexy spider.


The Middle 7.13

A sweet birthday episode.

I’m not eating a Highway pizza or a parking lot pizza.
5 socks. Must describe to claim.
And there are some weird docks hanging on the wall.
Great, show me others.
Mom, that’s my friend, Lexie.\
O just frosted a phone book, so no one eat it.
We are not allowed to use candles in the dorm.
I can see why you and Sue are friends.


Grandfathered 1.11

Not sure who to call to cancel your 3h nap.


Grandfathered 1.13

That’s not racist.


Grandfathered 1.14

Who was recording that video?
I googled Rich people are Downton Abbey.
We’ve spent too much money on food poisoning.
The spa gave us food poisoning, now we can get our money back.


Grandfathered 1.15

Edie gets bitten at school, but the principal has a touchy-feely policy. Sarah and Jimmy are not happy about it. One of the best episodes of this show.
Which little monster did it?
They have some touchy-feely policy.
Let it go, we’re in too deep.
Are you the idiot that has been calling every 30 seconds?
Clementine. Snitch had it coming.


Grandfathered 1.16

I don’t know all of my 88 fans.
How’d this guy have 92 followers, that’s not fair.
Everyone is depressed and fat.
I deleted a buch of pictures od my nepherw to make room for it.

The Simpsons 27.13

I saw that Stephen Hawking movie and all I could think is he’s got a girl, give me a freaking break.
I thought it was yoghurt class.
There’s a lesson here. Never visit Grandpa.


Scandal 5.10

Jake is the new NASA director, wtf?
Can Abby handle it?
You wrote a book.
Well done, Red. Good for you.
I’m not interested anymore. Say less words.
He’s a normal person. We have to protect him. We can’t let him be friends with us.
Then I will call you tomorrow and we can get started.


The Good Wife 7.12

What’s with that bitch downstairs?
Sorry, I went to another floor.
Eviction notice.
Follow the UPS guy.
You could come to Lockhart Agos.


The Good Wife 7.14

I will miss Eli so damn much.
I trained you well.
Now I get why people have children. So they can admire themselves in someone else.
Tell them to buy juice at 7/11 like normal people.


Castle 8.12

Castle without Beckett is like…
This novel writes itself.
Tell us what’s next.
I don’t know. That’s what makes it so good.
We’ll be your plus 4.
He’s so very proud of you.
Am I going to see you or my dad again?


Pretty Little Liars 6.12


Pretty Little Liars 6.16

You’re still really good at this.
Hamptons is just another part of Manhattan.
That’s the first homicide in 5 years.
Melissa’s suitcase is missing.


Younger 2.03

Now people just eat kale and tell the truth.
I feel like I’m in the Hunger Games.
Not too busy to post an picture on Instagram.
Point me to alcohol.


Younger 2.04

The empiriconda.
Why did she attach a pic of Charles?


Younger 2.05

Is that even legal?
Is that guy you’re dating?
Two tweets and a snapchat later.


Younger 2.07

I’m going full on Deliverance.
You know how that movie ends right?
She was a violent racist. But I saw it as a compliment.
Some Hunger Games tribute tried to take my charger.
Your room has already been paid for by Empirical Publishing.