Tag Archives: netflix

Film Reviews: The Craft: Legacy. Horizon Line. Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight. The Other Lamb. After-School Special. Scarface. What We Do In The Shadows. The House That Jack Built. The Turning. We Have Always Lived in the Castle. A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting. Conte D’Ete

09 Monday Nov 2020

Posted by in movies, sarah paulson

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The Craft: Legacy

I have a feeling other than myself and the 50 year old male in the audience, no one at my screening has actually seen the original The Craft, which is disappointing. Legacy would have been so much better if they chose to focus on what happened to the four girls from the first film, instead of creating a whole new story and then desperately try to make a correlation at the end. Also, I’m disappointed two scenes from the trailer weren’t used in the final film.

5/10

Horizon Line

Way better than I expected. The question here is, did you catch yourself imagining what you would have done if you were in the character’s shoes, while watching the film? If so, it means the film is a success. Last film watched at the cinema before the second national lockdown, possibly the last film watched at the pictures in 2020?

7/10

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight

Poland is known for its beautiful forests, among many things. The filmmakers took every slasher based in the middle of nowhere and put it into one quite entertaining watch. I think the slasher it made me think of the most is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Also, I really love the title.

6/10

The Other Lamb

The red and blue wardrobe sure reminded me of The Handmaid’s Tale. I loved this atmospheric horror from Polish filmmakers Małgorzata Szumowska and Michał Englert. The film is visually stunning. Disappearing from Mubi in 2 weeks.

8/10

After-School Special

I never would have guessed they were going to go there. This left me shocked and uncomfortable, but this short was supposed to do just that, so it worked.

6.5/10

Scarface

I’m a big fan of Brian De Palma, so obviously I love his Scarface remake. Today I finally got to see the original and I didn’t like it quite as much as the remake.

7/10

What We Do in the Shadows

This was my third attempt, successful this time, and I’m still not in love with it and I don’t really understand why.

6/10

The House that Jack Built

‘I couldn’t resist running that little old lady over.’

Lars von Trier’s return to horror. I can’t stop thinking of the hunting scene.

8/10

The Turning

I remember deciding not to see it at the cinema earlier this year, and yet I chose to waste my Halloween on it? What’s wrong with me?

2/10

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

Awesome title, average film.

5/10

A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting

I grew up watching Goosebumps the TV series, and I don’t think I would have enjoyed this film much as a kid, because it lacked scary parts. The hypnotising song was awesome though and I will still most likely watch the sequel if there is to be one. I’ve been following Oona Laurence’s career since her SVU episode and the brilliant film The Lamb.

5/10

Conte D’Ete aka A Summer’s Tale

I wish this wasn’t my introduction to Éric Rohmer, because it really put me off checking out his other films. Three of his films are on Mubi, and I was hoping to watch them if I liked this one, but now I don’t think I will. This was a required viewing for film school and there is no way I’m picking this film to write my next essay on.

5/10

Film Reviews: So Long My Son. Funny Girl. The War Against Women. House. Hearts of Atlantis. Blue Crush. Chemical Hearts. Elisa and Marcela. Swimming For Gold. InstaPsycho. The Half of It. Fanatyk

31 Monday Aug 2020

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First time using the new WordPress editor. It took me good few minutes to figure out where everything is. Inserting picture is now a little more complicated I think, I don’t really know how to adjust size of images, but I’ll figure out soon. I really like how you can highlight what text you want to move and just click the arrows, without having to drag it or click Copy and Paste. Last week I finally caved in and got myself Amazon Prime. Between Mubi, Filmbox Arthouse, HBO GO, Netflix and Amazon, I will never run out of films to watch.

So Long, My Son

Amazing take on China’s one child policy. I think this would have benefited from chronological scene order, but it was a treat anyway. I have renewed Mubi for another year and this is the first film I watched with my new subscription. I just learned yesterday that this film is coming to HBO Go and I cannot wait to show it to my dad next week.

9/10

Funny Girl

I understand Fanny’s attachment and forgiveness. I really wish they showed us what happened after, because speaking from experience, not much comes close to stressing about the loved one doing the same thing again in the future. It’s a thought that never really leaves your head. On a happy note though, I really liked most of Barbra’s costumes in this film.

You think beautiful girls are going to stay in style forever? I should say not! Any minute now they’re going to be out! Finished! Then it’ll be my turn!

8/10

The War Against Women

It angers me that men will always have that one thing that they can take away from women. Think of all the home invasion films, criminals encounter a male and think ‘Let’s beat him up’, they encounter a female ‘Let’s rape her’. They never think of doing these nasty things to other men, yet they’ll always have that power over women and sadly too many use it as a weapon. This is a great short. It’s on Netflix, go watch it.

7/10

Hearts in Atlantis

What a nice surprise. This is based on two Stephen King novellas? Which ones? First love and being young. What a magical time. I am very nostalgic and I miss my care free childhood every day, so this film is ideal for me. I’ve decided a long time ago, that I will never sell my family home, because I have so many wonderful memories associated with it. I am an only child and spent a lot of my time in that house by myself, so it will always be my safe space. I try to visit as much as I can. I didn’t like the mind reading mumbo jumbo, but everything else was amazing. They don’t make family films like this anymore.

‘You know, when you’re young, you have moments of such happiness, you think you’re living in some-place magical, like Atlantis must have been. Then we grow up, and our hearts break in two.’

‘I wouldn’t have missed a single minute of it, Bobby. Not for the whole world.’

‘Why do we always expect home to stay the same? Nothing else does.’

‘It’s funny how when you’re a kid, a day can last forever. Now, all these years seem just like a blink.’

‘I never heard from Ted Brautigan again. Not that I didn’t think of him. I always have. I always will. Because that summer was the last of my childhood. And though I never again saw what people were thinking, there was an enduring gift that he left me. What Ted did was open my eyes, and let the future in. I wouldn’t have missed a minute of it. Not for all the world.’

8/10

House

I probably would have never come across it if it wasn’t for Mubi. This film must be what a long acid trip must be like. I liked it a lot, but I’m not into lights constantly flashing, hence the lower rating.

7/10

Blue Crush

Switched at Birth was a brilliant teen show from Lizzy Weiss about the deaf community, but this is just another teen surf film, like the one with Camilla Bello from around the same time.

4/10

Chemical Hearts

My dad asked ‘Is that the Blackhood’s daughter?’ when he walked past the living room and saw me watching this. I don’t get the hype, but I’m all for unhappy endings.

6/10

Swimming For Gold

I mainly watched this because I used to live in Brisbane and I miss it every day. Guess how much Brisbane they showed us in this… It was just an Aussie version of Bunk’d, Peyton List even had an annoying friend just like on that post-Jessie show. Don’t ask me how I know this, I used to babysit a lot and most of my friends have kids now. Everyone seems to be into another show Peyton is in, Cobra Kai, which is now on Netflix.

5/10

Elisa and Marcela

I really liked the first act, but most of came after angered me. I’m also glad I’m not the only one who googled how exactly she got pregnant from just that one time.

6/10

The Half of It

Undoubtedly Netflix’s best original teen movie. I just love how innocent it is and that the writers didn’t force her to come out to her dad. If she did come out and he would accept her, I would have been disappointed and my rating would have been lower. I like that despite everything that happened in the film, she is still very much in the closet.

7/10

InstaPsycho

It amazes me how Laura Slade Wiggins, best known from Shameless, still plays a teenager at 32. Also, these Lifetime films crack me up. Show me a bigger guilty pleasure, I’ll wait.

4/10

Fanatyk

And to think I almost didn’t give this awesome short a chance, because it’s advertised as a film about fishing, which is exactly why my dad wouldn’t watch it with me. Fishing’s boring and I’m against it as a vegan, but this film isn’t.

7/10

Goodbye, Childhood. Goodbye, Full(er) House

03 Wednesday Jun 2020

Posted by in candace cameron bure, fuller house, tv series

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I still cannot believe we were blessed with such fantastic dose of nostalgia. I remember how happy I was when Fuller House was announced 5 years ago. I loved how they managed to re-enact some of the most famous scenes from Full House including Stephanie driving Joey’s car into the kitchen, Steph and DJ’s telethon performances and so many more. I’m just so happy and sad at the same time. Full House and Fuller House will always be a part of me. Thank you for coming back, Full House. Thank you, Fuller House. See you in 20 years, Fullest House!

TV Reviews: Dead to Me Season 2

23 Saturday May 2020

Posted by in dead to me, tv series

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Another wonderful season full of twists. I know a lot of people ship Jen and Judy, and I do too, I wasn’t at first because this show was a perfect example of queerbating, but thanks to tumblr (my handle is movieskeepmealive), I now am. Even my dad ships them to be honest, in episode 4 when they get rid of the body and spend the night in that hotel, he said they should just get together already. In season two we learn that one of the girls is bisexual and is seeing a girl for three episodes. In the last episode when Jen forgives Judy and they hug, my dad threw ‘And they’re not a couple?’, which made me feel extremely proud. I definitely haven’t rated another show this high this season, it was perfect. I watched all episodes the minute they were released and then rewatched them again a couple days later with my family. Here are my notes and quotes I’ve written down during my marathon.

Dead to Me 2.01

We learn that Jen didn’t shoot Steve, she killed him with a wooden bird that belongs to her younger son. Noisy neighbor is still noisy and almost exposes Jen by accident. Jen is also seen cleaning up blood.

Judy is back!
It killed itself.
But you do have somewhere to stay? You do have people?
Totally.
You snuck up on me like a fucking Prius.
I was fucking a grown man last night.
Well, you don’t know how I fuck.
You should see the resolution on our street camera.
What the fuck are you doing?
There’s something stuck in your drain.
Your hair smells so good.
He can’t fucking hear you.
Don’t fucking curse at me.
Don’t ever tell a woman that she’s overreacting, because most of the time women are underreacting.
Is Judy coming back?
They broke up again.
Some of your crystals wouldn’t take the hint.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.02

Steve has a twin brother and at first I was very disappointed with the twin twist, but it grew on me. Body’s in the fridge.

Who the fuck is Ben?
Am I dead? Did I die?
Nobody’s dead.
That’s just my face. I have an upset face.
Steve’s missing.
He calls his mom every day.
I didn’t know you had other friends.
They’re semi-identical.
They’re the same fucking person!
I’ve turned him in for money laundering.
Wherever you go, fucking chaos follows.
You think I’m gonna leave my kids to you?
Stay the fuck out of it.
Where did you get this?
I truly can’t remember.
Must be good shit then.
I said I don’t fucking know I’ll be able to.
I gained 10 pounds over summer.
You look beautiful.
Judy’s got it.

9.5/10

Dead to Me 2.03

There were already 6 rats underneath the fridge? I can’t lie, when Jen lost it and told her son and his creepy friend to get the fuck out, I thought this is exactly how I would be with my children if they annoyed me if I had children. Jen goes to the store and buys a lot of lye to dissolve rats in. As per her son’s creepy friend’s advice, girls decide to bury the body in a local forrest.

No need to Six Senth me into a heart attack.
They’ll Shawshank their teeth through everything.
He dumped you after 5 miscarriages.
I never thought he would get angry enough to try to kill you.
I teach a painting class.
She’s an art critic.
The Dark Web.
How to get rid of a dead body.
Her heart will go on and on.
I just need you to get the fuck out of here.
Open the freezer.
I’m freaking the fuck out here!
Nothing was fine.
I may have a new plan.
I forgive you.
Yes, you’re really fucking scary.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.04

Girls learn that Karen’s husband is cheating on her with a man. I loved the scenes in the bar where the girls pretend to be related to the bride to get free drinks, get hit on, just so Jen can throw in the fantastic line about getting one more jig in before throwing themselves off the bridge and another one liner about singing Hallelujah! Judy did get to sing eventually when Jen’s son’s bird died, she ended up singinhg Dream a Little Dream of Me. Jen’s older son Charlie finds Steve’s car and thinks it’s his birthday gift.

We’re middle aged women in a Mercedes.
Was it worth it? You commited a crime.
What was so important you had to look at your phone?
I just wanted to sing a song for Steve.
I’m sorry if I got a little rigid at the fact that we couldn’t stop and sing Halle – Fucking – Lujah.
We’re not in fucking Snow White, we’re in Scarface.
Why don’t you go for a walk and say ‘fuck’ outside.
Thank you for mansplaining to me why you are the most affected by climate change.
Will you be my person?
The bride is my second cousin.
Does it look like my friend wants to fucking dance?
Those girls look like they want to kill themselves, maybe they wanna get a nice jig in before they jump off the bridge.
How have we not talked about Jeff?
Those guys are joined at the dick.
You owe me 83 dollars.
The dog did it.
Sometimes people need a friend more than the truth.
Holy shit, fuck yeah, Mom!

10/10

Dead to Me 2.05

Judy grabs some food with this girl that’s been hitting on her all season and re-adjusts her bra when the girl isn’t looking, which means she clearly likes her. Jen finds out her son found the car and to dispose of evidence sge decides to set it on fire.

There’s been an energetic shift.
I hope so, cause momma needs a fucking break!
Do you really need 8 bottles of wine?
I’m sorry, are you the wine sheriff? Because I am the dick Police and you have the right to remain fucking silent!
You’re my fucking problem. I’m not paying for that.
What were you thinking, you’re over 50.
No I’m not.
Are you sure?
Your personality is offputting.
Maybe later after my chiropractor leaves.
I saw you on my steet cam.
Shut up, it’s not him, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re drunk.
Did that loosen something up?
No one can ever know what happened.
Just help me and get them out of here.

8/10

Dead to Me 2.06

Judy gives Charlie the sex talk. If they ever charge Judy with Steve’s murder, she has the perfect excuse, he threatened to kill her. We learn that Judy is in fact bi and her new girlfriend’s ex that lives with her is the cop who hates Judy.

You’re in so much fucking trouble.
What were you doing sitting in a car for 5h? Oh God.
You just lost your bedroom door.
Happy?
Fucking ecstatic.
Mother fuck…
I lost my virginity in a car, it was wonderful.
100 dollars.
That’s not a lot of money anymore.
Fuck you…
What are you drawing?
Seriously? It’s a check.
What the fuck Judy? You fucking bitch! I know you see me calling bitch. I’m gonna fucking kill you. You’re fucking dead.
You like her.
I do. She makes me feel really good.
You deserve that.
Protect yourself and always get consent.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.07

Judy’s already in love with her new girlfiend. Jen volunteers herself and Judy to throw a vigil for Steve and we learn that they’ve cast Frances Conroy as Steve and Ben’s mom! Charlie attends the vigil and sees pictures of Steve in his car with his baseball cap on, the very same one his girlfriend wore in the pictures they took.

I love you.
Oh Hell no.
Pushing your enormous head out of my vagina was a lot of work.
I’m a middle aged woman in high heels with a bad back.
It’s a sweet gesture, if you didn’t kill the person the vigil is for.
Nah, fuck that.
Of all the lesbians in Laguna.
I cannot have you fucking her girlfriend on the other side of the wall.
That’s not the layout of the house.
I’m sorry you had to do that.
Shitm I want to go missing.
Better taste in women.
You’d be surprised how often perpertrators show up to something like this.
Special thanks to Jen and Judy.
Oh fuck.
God sees everything and sooner or later he’ll bring the truth to light.
If there’s silver lining in all this, it’s me and you.

10/10

Dead To Me 2.08

Ben’s parents turn out to be crazy rich and are thinking of selling their mansion. Charlie’s first girlfriend vandalises their garage and then sends incriminating pictures to the police as a revenge on Charlie for dumping her. Judy wants to become a baby cuddler, but is told that the person has to have a clear Police record.

Why did you have Steve Wood’s car?
People are a fucking mess.
Crazier things have happened.
Literally they have not.
I want you to have whatever you want.
You think an Arts and Crafts teacher is a better suspect than the Greek mafia?
I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say Maid’s Chambers.
Fuck those girls, they don’t deserve you.
Scars show you went through something hard and you survived and it’s your story.
Jesus Christ, it won’t go away.
I know what you did.
I’ve wanted to do it all this time.

10/10

Dead to Me 2.09

Katey Segal aka Peggy Bundy, as in Christina Applegate’s mom from Married With Children plays Judy’s mom! In this episode Jen tells Judy the truth about Steve’s death and she doesn’t take it well. Judy wants to confess to the crime, but Jen ends up confessing herself. She leaves an ‘In Case of Emergency’ binder and writes three letters, to Judy and each of her sons.

I got here and it was like I could finally exhale.
I’ve waited my whole life to meet someone like you.
Once you go in, they make it almost impossible for you not to come back.
You were a kid, they shouldn’t have made you testify.
If I had a lawyer that didn’t get his degree at Costco.
Last thing I needed was to be molested.
You’re my mother. Aren’t we supposed to look out for each other?
I’m gonna take the blame for it.
The night Steve died, I was going to kill myself, but then you called me and you saved me. And maybe you saved me for a reason, so I could do this for you now.
He was walking away, he didn’t attack me. I attacked him.
But you said he was strangling you.
I lied.
What did he say to you?
It doesn’t matter.
Clearly it matters because you fucking killed him. What did he fucking say?!
He said he wanted to die because of me.
I don’t hate you.
You’d stick around for anybody.
I’m not like you.
Stop it. Just fucking stop it!
There’s something I need to confess.

10/10

Dead To Me 2.10

Jen turns herself in and leaves the kids to Judy.

I killed Steve Hale.
And be their legal guardian.
We’re going back to the car, before our bodies are never found.
She’s the fucking angel on Earth.
She sees the good in people even when it isn’t there.
I guess I thought I’d get what I deserved.
That will carry it’s way in the court room.
She was murdered. She was trying to protect me from my stepfather.
But you’re gonna go home and we’re never gonna talk about what we didn’t find here.
Sometimes justice works itself out.
We love you too.
I don’t want to carry around any more pain. I’m tired of feeling sad and hurt. And resenting you would just be punishing myself.
I’m glad you decided to come back.
It would help if you wrote a a letter to the parol office.
No. Because you haven’t changed.
I can reframe it.
I’m buying you out.
Are you about to kill yourself?
Jen, wake up!
What happened.
We got hit.

10/10

Overall rating: 9.75/10

I think I liked this season more than the first one. Like I said, this show is fantastic and I really hope it is renewed for a third season!

Thanks for reading,
Joanne

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist 1.01. The Simpsons 31.11. Carol’s Second Act 1.11. Grace and Frankie 6.01-6.06. When We Rise 1.03-1.05. Modern Family 11.11. Modern Family 11.12. The Goldbergs 7.11. The Goldbergs 7.12

26 Sunday Jan 2020

Posted by in carol's second act, desperate housewives, grace and frankie, Jane Fonda, Lauren Graham, modern family, Rachel Griffiths, the goldbergs, the simpsons, tv series, when we rise, zoey's extraordinary playlist

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New year, same old me. My family and I are rewatching Desperate Housewives and I’m honestly so happy. This show has been a part of my life for so many years, and this refresher was just much needed. It will probably take us 6 months to watch it all and I cannot wait for these Wednesday and Sunday evenings. Back when it was still on air, my favourite characters were Lynette, Bree, Edie, Katherine, and Andie. We’ve only rewatched season 1 so far, but I seem to like Bree more than Lynette now? It’s been 9 years, which is more than enough perspective and even though my goals haven’t really changed, I have learned a lot about myself in those 9 years, I now know what I want from life, and I know what makes me happy. I’m also healthier, and as a result, happier, which is the most important thing in the world.

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist 1.01

Gilmore Girls’s Lauren Graham and Suburgatory’s Jane Levy are back on my TV in this musical comedy. Lauren’s character’s name is Joan and action takes place in my favourite city,  San Francisco, so I’m sold. Lauren and Jane work at a start up and Jane is hoping Lauren’s character promotes her to a managerial role. One of the characters is going through a rough patch, and sings ‘Mad World’. The main character’s dad had a stroke and cannot communicate or react to anything that’s going on around him. It’s quite predictable, as her gift lets her know what her dad is feeling. It’s hard to rate this episode, because I…cried through the entire thing? The depression and dad’s health issues storylines moved me.

Why are you singing to me?
Child, I’m completely baked. I got nothing going on in my head now.
The song he sang only to you may have been his cry for help.
We live in a really mad world, but if you open up and express what you’re feeling to others then it’s gotta be better than what you’re doing now. Living you whole life in your head, like this prison my dad is in now, it’s torture.

6/10

The Simpsons 31.11

I have watched all 31 seasons, and it struggles to find new storylines and be funny at this point. In this episode, Marge’s ex-boyfriend emerges and builds a robot that looks exactly like her and then attempts to marry her.

Don’t you see why I hate this?
Because you hate everything?

1/10

Carol’s Second Act 1.11

I was really disappointed to learn there’s no episode this week. This episode wasn’t the show’s best though.

They don’t just care, they care intensively.

3/10

Grace and Frankie 6.01

Grace has secretly gotten married and is moving out.

If it helps, I’m giving you away now.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.02

Frankie’s smile when she saw Grace’s name come up on her phone. Frankie getting Grace off the toilet is ultimate friendship goals.

Give me a hug.
Hi Mom!
I don’t even let my kids call me that.
Tell me why we should keep this Happy Meal toy from 1988?
It’s a collector’s item.
What about these welding woman magazines from the 1970s? Do you weld?
Not as much.
Where would be a good place for it?
The floor? But I know that’s not right.
How many necklaces do you need?
Some of them are belts.
If you were a good teacher, you would know every child learns differently.

6.5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.03

Death row inmates are entitled to their last meal.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.04

Princess stuck on the can.
The bottoms up.
Designed to gently lift you with a single touch of a button.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.05

I told you I’m not gonna do a sex podcast with you.
I wouldn’t know, you won’t let me see you perform.

5/10

Grace and Frankie 6.06

The response from customers at Costco.
Where is the chicken in that place?
Shitter beat toilet.

5/10

When We Rise 1.03

Rachel Griffiths and Mary-Louise Parker star as grown up versions of the main characters. When Parenthood’s Sam Jaeger’s character dies, his family kicks his partner out of the house. The third main character looks after a baby, and when he wants to foster him, social workers find his HIV medication and take the baby away.

I am proud of my son and his friends.
The president and Mrs Clinton.
You sir can end this.
We’re lesbians.
We support students of all backgrounds.
When did we become such dykes.
We were always dykes.
His wife took him this morning.
We have to take this baby.

8/10

When We Rise 1.04

Did you travel abroad?
I traveled with a broad.
Take a lap around this ward.
We were in love. The kind of love that makes people cross the oceans, have babies and grow old together. And if we were straight, we would have designed our entire lives around that. But two women, then, we had no words for it, no paradime, nothing and you’re right. It’s my lack of vision that’s kept me from having this, a family. The truth is we’re not done yet.

6/10

When We Rise 1.05

This generation has grew up with Ellen and Will and Grace.

10/10

Modern Family 11.11

Finally a fantastic episode. This show is so much better without Phil and Claire’s kids. Phil’s dad dies and he never met his great grnd children.

All this childhood memorbilia.
But there’s no room for my baby teeth.
When all the dogs get back their income tax return.
I just came through the unsecure back door.
BJ – Blue Jeans.
I see light. Should I go towards it?
I was ready to bite my own arm off.
I still have the tooth you lost to a marshmallow.
Oh so that one you kept.
Your mother could have been a competitive eater. No foof ever expired in our house.
Guys I just saw a ghost.
Oh, girls, grab your things, we’re going.
11 year old Manny would feel disgusted by me.
Well now you know how 12 year old Lily feels.
A swooper.
A swooper? Lily grab your things. Not a smoke demon that terroroses farm children.
Back up, back up. Keep going.
Joe save up 6 months allowance and donated it all to charity. It’s one of those rare moments as a dad when you realise you really dropped the ball.
How you survived the golden age of bullying I will never understand.
I can get into this CSI train.
Locating my diary from ’83.
Everybody warned me this would happen.
Hi Cam.
You wish.
I never even saw Gloria go into the dressing room.
Maybe you should try the dress on that lady’s wearing.
You paid the speech specialist to shame it out of me.
Not the hot one.
Will you throw in a puppy?
It’s a miracle you didn’t need police escort to school every day.

10/10

Modern Family 11.12

And…. we’re back to mediocrity.

I came in here to die.
He’s making plans for the future.
That’s why you have rivals, it’s something to live for.
Hold on, let me write this down.

1.5/10

The Goldbergs 7.11

Murray learns he’s actually a year younger than he thought he was and celebrates his 50th birthday, once more. Surprisingly good, the show hasn’t had a good episode in a while, so this was a nice surprise.

10/10

The Goldbergs 7.12

And we’re back to it being bad again. I didn’t even write anything down about Schooled, because it’s not memorable at all.

Jodie Foster?

0.5/10

Film Reviews: The Favourite. The Killing of A Sacred Deer. Rocketman. Wild Rose. Captain Marvel. The Curse of La Llorona. Greta. Freddy and Jason. The Silence. Wonder Park. Unicorn Store. I Think We’re Alone Now. The Hustle. Polaroid

22 Wednesday May 2019

Posted by in movies, Rachel Weisz

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The Favourite

Hatfield House, where The Favourite was filmed has 9 of Sandy Powell’s costumes on display at the moment. You can walk into 9 rooms, including 3 rooms that were used in the film. You can take pictures in Anne’s bedroom, Sarah’s room also known as The Library, and the room where Rachel Weisz and Nicholas Hoult have that staredown in the beginning of the film. You can also walk through The Gallery, better known as the corridor with the gold ceiling where Rachel Weisz pushed Olivia Coleman’s wheelchair after the party. It’s 18 quid and I couldn’t recommend it more! I drove there on Sunday and loved every minute of it. If you’re in the UK, go check it out. Costumes are on display till the 16th of June.

10/10

The Killing of A Sacred Deer

Yorgos’s modern take on Sophie’s Choice. The truly shocking thing about this film is that the mother didn’t offer to sacrifice her life to save either of her two children. What’s worse, she tried to convince the husband they can replace one and just have another.

9/10

Rocketman

I’ve never been Elton’s fan, but after watching this biopic, I can certainly relate to his anger. If you’re in the UK, go see it at Odeon to get an A3 poster with your ticket.

‘Now for my newest trick, I’m gonna fucking kill myself.’

8/10

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Wild Rose

A beautiful story and a shuttering wake up call for everyone, includng myself, who thinks the grass is greener in the US. I’m off to download this wonderful soundtrack.

8/10

Captain Marvel

I’m not a Marvel fan, but this film is more ‘human’ than other superhero films in the Marvel universe, and it has Brie Larson as the lead, so I had to enjoy it. The film also has an interesting soundtrack, including Nirvana’s ‘Come as You Are’.

7/10

The Curse of La Llorona

2019 is the revival of Linda Cardellini’s career. She’s been in Green Book, La Llorona, Avengers and her new Netflix show came out yesterday. I didn’t realise Llorona was part of The Conjuring universe before going in. The script isn’t strong, but the film has a lot of cheap thrills that surprisingly work. The girls in my row where jumping and screaming every time. This is the 200th film I watched this year.

6/10

greta freddy silence

Greta

Carrie 2 anyone? Isabelle locking Chloe in that room gave me major Carrie vibes. And what’s with this description? You’re calling Isabelle elderly, Letterboxd? Unnecessarily loud and jumpy music during non-scary scenes sort of ruined the film for me and maybe the fact that the film itself wasn’t scary at all.

‘That little French woman you came with?’

6/10

Freddy and Jason

So we’ve established once and for all that Nightmare on Elm Street is better than Friday the 13th? Good.

6/10

The Silence

It’s a watered down combination of last year’s A Quiet Place and Birdbox, and basically every post apocalyptic horror ever made.

5/10

wonder unicorn ithink

Wonder Park

There definitely should be a ‘Don’t do this at home’ warning for kids, as that backyard rollercoaster ride got out of hand real quick. Heck, kids shouldn’t handle nails and I know this is a family film, but no kid can build a rollercoaster without an engineer’s help. Despite all that, there was a sad storyline, the characters and animation were cute and I have always loved amusement parks, so I cannot give Wonder Park less than 2.5 stars, which it probably deserves.

5/10

Unicorn Store

I didn’t like the film and it’s wacko unicorn business, but I do love this poster, the opening scene where the main character paints and Joan Cusack.

5/10

I Think We’re Alone Now

Disappointed that ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ by Tiffany didn’t play once.

4/10

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The Hustle

Is this supposed to be a Dirty Rotten Scoundrels remake or a sequel to Ocean’s 8? Either way, it was a disastrous attempt. Also, Anne Hathaway’s British sounding, rich bitch role was clearly written for Rose Byrne. This is another poor career choice on Anne’s part.

3/10

Polaroid

Nicked straight from RL Stine’s brilliant ‘Say Cheese and Die!’ series of Goosebumps books. It’s the exact same, but extremely boring. RL Stine should sue them too.

2/10

 

 

 

Film Reviews: Jackie. Maniac. The Butterfly Effect. Halloween. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. A Family Divided. Christiane F. Strangled. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

24 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by in movies, Sally Field

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Jackie

This is the 550th new film I watched this year, and I’m really happy it’s this one. Natalie Portman gave a great performance in this aftermath after John Kennedy’s shooting. She sounded very much like Jackie. Emma Stone really snatched that Oscar from her. The shooting scene was very life-like and may be not be for those with a weak stomach.

4/10

Maniac

Speaking of Emma Stone, here’s a Netflix original series she starred it. It also stars Jonah Hill and the girl from Ozark. I watched it for Sally Field. Sad to report I hated every single one of those alternative universes. And all this nonsense for such a ‘normal’ conclusion? Someone once told me I sound just like Jonah Hill, but I don’t see it? My accent does sound American, thanks to 20 years of watching American films and TV Shows, but I don’t think I sound like him. Congrats to Jonah on his massive weight loss. I know how hard it is to change your lifestyle and never look back. I am currently too scared of loose skin to actually lose the weight.

4/10

The Butterfly Effect

I could watch 2 hours of the first 25 minutes of this film, actually I could watch a whole mini series with these kids from Ashton Kutcher’s charater’s flashbacks.

8/10

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Halloween

It was bloody amazing! We’ve waited so long to see Jamie Lee do another Halloween, and she’s back at it again, 40 years since the first one and 16 years since Resurrection. The most important thing? They completely ignored events from Halloween 20 yrs Later and the ridiculous Resurrection that dared to kill Jamie Lee’s character off. My favorite part of this sequel must be Laurie closing the roller shutters after checking every single room. See you in 10 years?

9/10

Fantastic Beasts The Crimes of Grindelwald

These films are ruining the Harry Potter franchise. At least we got to see Hogwarts. How old was Dumbledore supposed to be in Harry Potter? In 1927, he’s in his 40s. If that wasn’t enough, Professor McGonagall is here too, and she’s in her 30s. Rating would be lower had I not seen it in 3D. Johnny Depp’s acting has gone down hill since the 90s, it’s a shame. He is never getting that Oscar now.

6/10

A Family Divided

I really miss those 90s TV movies about rape that saw a mother or a survivor fight for justice against everyone trying to silence them. Knowing Stephen Collins has been a pedophile his entire adult life ruined my experience with this film. I probably would have liked this film more, had I watched it before 2014. I definitely would not have been so sceptical and angry at the 7th Heaven star. Here he’s covering up his son’s crime. Actually all three men in that family are vile people. As always, Faye Dunaway gives a great perforance and you just route for her the entire film.

5/10

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Christiane F

Just thought of this film out of nowhere for the first time in almost 15 years. Both the book ‘Kids from the Zoo station’ and film were a major hit among kids my age, bigger than Requiem for a Dream. Everyone seemed to be fascinated with it and there was a high demand for the book both in the school and local libraries. It’s a great film too.

8/10

Strangled

This reminded me of that time when the bank sent me on a First Aid course and someone mentioned narcolepsy and this other bloke in his late 60s said ‘that’s when you do it with dead people’ and everyone laughed.

Anyway, this was a pretty good thriller based on a true story.

6/10

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Very average and Keira Knightley’s squicky voice was so annoying.

4/10

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Adventures in Public School

Netflix’s worst original right here. Really bad, until the last 10 seconds. The last 10 seconds were sweet. Highly unlikely, but sweet.

3/10

Wreck-It Ralph

When Shut Up and Drive started playing halfway through the film. Also, I recongised Jack McBrayer’s voice straight away, even though I’ve only seen him on The Middle.

6/10

Ralph Breaks the Internet

I thought it was quite good, until Ralph broke the Internet and the film got so boring I fell asleep. Good old Odeon handed out these magnet Instagram photo frames for fridge.

6/10