Bones 12.07

Bones 12.07 was unnecessary. Did they really have to kill my favorite recurring character off?! He almost freaking made till the end! I am so mad about this. Rest in peace, Max Keenan. Max died saving his grandchildren. This was honestly one of the saddest episodes we’ve seen lately. I’m actually crying while rewriting these quotes, because I remember when he was introduced like it was yesterday. Why Bones why?! Max, you were awesome.

You had a pacemaker ingested into your chest and you didn’t tell me?
We’re sending you to a safe house.
There’s been a shooting. It’s the safe house where we put Max and the kids.
Where’s grandpa?!
They weren’t expecting your father in law.
Your father in law made sure they didn’t hear anything.
Pacemaker sends signal.
Tell me those children are okay.
Tempe.
I can help.
Dad, I’m here.

7/10

Bates Motel 5.01

Norman is daydreaming his mother is still with him and imagining someone who isn’t there being right next to you is the most delightful and painful way to get through life. I know best, I’ve been doing it since I was like 6. I just don’t understand why they’re introducing some Norma look alike as Norman’s future girlfriend. He’ll kill her by the end of the series anyway. Emma and Dylan had a baby?!

Oh, mother.
It is what we signed for.
Norma Louise must be over the moon about this.
We are Bates Motel, this is not that kind of establishment.
For starters, I’m dead.
A mentally ill boy and a dead woman. We’re doing it. We’re actually doing it.
I don’t know the exact circumstances of how he came into this world.
It’s not like we haven’t done this before.

7/10

Greys 13.17

That Cristina reference and Ellen taking as back to season 1 with her deliverance. The way she said ‘name one’ and we’re back in season 1 listening to her wanting to learn more about Derek. Mer and Nathan are happening and I’m very happy with it. All I can hope for is that season 14 is set in New Zealand. Ellen’s directorial debut is up next week! And I need to rewatch the episode, because Snapchat deleted my snaps of that Kiwi boy speech when he said he worshipped Mer since day one.

We were surgeons, now they’re surgeons.
Her reasons are for sex.
When I said I do, I meant I do.
How could you let me talk to her like that?!
You are at least as messed up as I am.
I would love to ask Cristina how suffocated she felt by you.
You don’t get to call what’s normal.
I was already an amazing mom.
16:22 is the time of death.
I think I’m in love with Jo.

7/10

Nashville 5.11

So when is Nashville back from the hiatus? In June? They all sang with Rayna and it was beautiful.

Why did they want Maddie and not both of us? We both sang.
We’ll have Juliette’s album and we need to get Maddie in the studio as soon as possible.
They’re about undying love.
I hate that I can’t share it with Deacon. Each year I want to pick up the phone and tell him.
I just forgot how sad I was for one moment and I feel like the worst daughter.
After all those years ot feels like we’re 19 again locked our eyes for the first time.
God knows the both of us, we tried.
That’s the only way we can finish it they way she would have loved.

10/10

Switched at Birth 4.05

I don’t think she knew what it meant, I didn’t. I had a history lesson before I got out of preschool.

She meant wherever you came from.
I stayed up all night, went to different pizza parlers.
I don’t matter, they’ll just let me starve to death.
Until they’re expelled, I’m not eating.
This is for the people who told me I’m pretty, for a black girl.

4.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.15

Adam went to school with that kid from Little Rascals! Shitty episode otherwise, at least Erica and Jeff hooked up!

This is Dave Kim, a tiny freshman creeper who dresses like Welma from Scooby Doo.
When it’s really Jeff Schwartz who you love.
The real Rid Robb.

2/10

How to get Away With Murder 3.15

Gow old was Charles when he raped Wes’s mom? 16?! I am so hating this whole thing about who killed Wes.

I’ve been running for 10 years.
3rd floor bathroom.
Another entitled law student.
I’m gay. Not eating for 48 hours is only gonna up my shirtless selfie game.
This is so illegal.
So is killing your professor’s husband.
Your husband took what he thought he deserved, raped that woman and  life came out of it. A black boy that you and he could never love.
Christof wasn’t Wallace’s son, he was Charles’s.
All along supporting your son, the rapist.
That he was my Barrack.
When did you know with Wes?
When it was too late.
They found Rebecca’s body.
He was a murderer.
I’m doing this for you, all of you. So you don’t have to go to prison and get naked in group shower and crao in front of people that may rape you. It’s death in there.
You can’t go down with what I did.
Wes killed my husband, he confessed to it that night. In the end he was a monster and he killed himself.
Better to kill yourself than to go to jail.
It should have been me, I know that. He’s a rapist and probably a killer.
Stop that girl!
He felt like my son.

10/10

This is Us 1.10

Did they just ask an obese person if they binge? Why do you think we can’t stop? Toby has a heart attack.

Do you ever binge?
Yes.
Maybe when you were a kid.
Also lat month.
Di I do this? I did, didn’t I?
With the food. I didn’t know If I was bringing it up too much, or if I wasn’t enough. I never knew what to say. Did I do this to you?
I don’t know.
The one thing I cannot live without is you.

4.5/10

The Simpsons 28.16

The Parent Trap reference! Can we discuss how this show is still in its prime 28 years after it premiered?

Every night they showed us The Parent Trap. What kind of parents break up twins and never tell them the other exist?!
Simpson, I’m giving you a raise.
No need to take your pants off.
It’s not what you think. I just had a big lunch.
I do everything, but masturbate.

8/10

The Good Fight 1.03

Really mad about Maya turning out to be bi, not gay.

I’m Marissa, by the way.
Maya.
I work for Diane, but when she’s out and you want anything, let me know.

3/10

Modern Family 8.15

Britney Queers.
Loco.

3/10

Riverdale 1.07

Kudos for that Wes Craven reference! RIP horror genius.

Like an extra in a Wes Craven movie.
We need to find Polly before the Blossoms do.
The noose is tightening on your murdering daughter’s neck.
He was working for me, the weekend of July 4th.
My niece or nephew.
My parents, I don’t think they want to help you.
Everything for Alice Cooper’s daughter.

3.5/10

The Good Fight 1.02

I’ll rape you and cut your tits off.
See, it’s not so bad. *man’s toilet*
Who’s that?
My new assistant.

6/10

Big Little Lies 1.02

Go fuck yourself.

I’m not having sex.
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
Sexual assault? He kissed the girl!

2.5/10