Category Archives: movies

Blind Side. Funny Face. The Mirror Has Two Faces. The Skin I live In. Maleficent. Hooper. The Answer Man

24 Wednesday Dec 2014

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The Blind Side

One of Sandra Bullock’s best films. Right after Gravity, The Heat and While you were sleeping.

8.5/10

Funny Face

‘Now when I say “go,” walk down with fire in your eyes and murder on your mind.’

6.5/10

The Mirror Has Two Faces

Lovely is the only way to put it. Everything she said about feeling ugly, and the scenes where she tells her mother she only sees her flaws is universally relatable. Lauren Bacall’s portrayal of a critisizng mother deserved all the recogniton. Added to my list of favorite films for women.

‘But I love the old Rose! The one with no makeup and baggy clothes who loves ‘the perfect bite’! She eats carrots now, isn’t that tragic?’

‘This thing that we call a wedding ceremony is really the final scene of the fairy tale. They never tell you what happens after. They never tell you that Cinderella drove the Prince crazy with her obsessive need to clean the castle, cause she missed her day job, right?’

‘Now you spend an extra hour in front of the mirror every morning and every night. And now you’ll be the one to walk into a room and scan it for who looks better than you and who doesn’t. And as the years go by, the numbers change. One day you’ll walk into a room and you’re the last woman any man notices.’

‘I tell you what I envy about people in love – I’d love it if someone knew me, I mean really knew me. What I like, what I’m afraid of, what kind of toothpaste I use.’

‘Why didn’t you pick something looser and in my color?’
‘Because Maids of Honor don’t wear black.’

‘You don’t use make-up, do you?’
‘What’s the point? I’d still look like me, only in color.’

‘I’m in the middle of one of my lesbian orgy dreams and he’s staring at me like I’m suppose to include him. I can’t even fantasize in private.’

6/10

The Skin I live in

Could not stop comparing it to Kika. Almodovar is brutal and that’s what I expected.

‘Art keeps you free.’

‘I don’t think I actually raped her.’
‘You “don’t think?” Have you lost your memory?’
‘I’d taken a lot of pills. I can hardly remember it.’
‘Well, I didn’t take anything, and I’ll never forget it!’

7/10

Maleficent

Favorite family film this year and a beautiful take on Sleeping Beauty’s villain. Can we appreciate the fact that true love is not a boy kissing a girl? Ignoring the fact that the same thing happened in Frozen, to quote Maleficent ‘What an awkward situation’, because it’s too important. My favorite storyline was when a young Maleficent fell for a boy who brutally cut her wings off.

I’m looking for a girl.
Of course you are!

Oh look, the little beast is about to fall off the cliff.

I don’t like children.

How wonderful.

Oh, come on, that’s funny.

Oh dear.

So you see, the story is not quite as you were told, and I should know, for I was the one they called “Sleeping Beauty”. In the end, my kingdom was united not by a hero or a villain, as legend had predicted, but by one who was both hero and villain. And her name was Maleficent.

7.5/10

Hooper

Expected it to be as good as the Smokey and the Bandit series, but It wasn’t bad either.

7/10

The Answer Man

A little biased about this one, I might have not been satisfied with it if it was casted differently. But the parts when he was giving the answers to the bookstore owner or Elizabeth were excellent.

Why can’t I do the things I want to do? There’s so much I know I’m capable of that I never actually do. Why is that?
The trick is to realize that you’re always doing what you want to do… always. Nobody’s making you do anything. Once you get that, you see that you’re free and that life is really just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you. You choose.

If God made everything, then why are some things bad? Like the whole pain and suffering thing…
Opposites. Without things that suck, you would have no idea what good was, and therefore be directionless. You smell shit, you walk the other way.

I love kids. They’re short, highly emotional people who don’t know anything. They rely on their creativity and imagination to get by in the world. A world, I might add, filled with giants. Amazing feat.

Now I only have three rules: don’t take advice from someone you wouldn’t trade places with, try not to do something you can’t take back, and something is what it is and it’s not something else.

I hate answering machines for this very reason, you know, they’re like life, you can’t take anything back.

For you and you alone I have made this place, kaleidoscope of wonder to keep your eye upon as I turn turn the world.

You wanna know something cool about shaking hands with little people? They see us shaking hands but they don’t know that we squeeze the other person’s hand so they – y’know – they just hold hands with you for a couple of seconds.

6.5/10

 

Gone Girl.

20 Saturday Dec 2014

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As I just finished advising my mom as to which films from the tv guide she should watch this Christmas, the titles included When Harry Met Sally, While you were sleeping, Pretty Woman, or even Christmas with the Kranks, I opened my WordPress and started writing reviews of the latest films I’ve seen. I figured if I don’t do them minutes after I finish watching, I won’t remember any particular details, and a critic’s review will look a little like a two sentence overview of what any other person ‘liked’ and ‘hated’ two minutes after leaving the theatre. Here’s one of the films.

Gone Girl

I’ll start off by reminding you that David Fincher directed this book adaptation. And from the person who made masterpieces such as Fight Club, Seven or Panic Room, we’d expect something more than a slightly too long, boring at times and, when it comes to the unnecessary goreness, a little ovwr the top. What I absolutely loved about the film, as in comparison to the book, was the titled Gone Girl smiring her blood over the kitchen floor, seconds after inserting a tube into her vein. In the book, Amy was scared of needles and cut her arm open. For David’s sake, I hope it was his idea, and as I reminisce to the excellent films I mentioned above and about five more of his that I have seen, my faith is in save hands. Unfortunately, this later comes to bite us, as no one questions where did the blood come from. In the book she cuts her arm, we can assume the wound is still fresh. In the film, the Gone Girl makes fun of the main cop on her case, persuading everyone into thinking If she didn’t take it into her hands, she would be still strapped to the bed, a necessary and extremely graphic vision comes to mind as she underlines her body laying there spread open. And so everyone feels and guilty and embarassed and never asks another question. Speaking of the loop holes and no one questioning her disappearance, how come the doctor didn’t pick up on the missing miscarriage as rhey were doing the rape kit? I doubt she sustained any serious injuries, as she did get pregnant at the end, so the exam would have noticed the lack of miscarriage, but then again, no one paid much attention, everyone was relieved the case was closed. As to what I found overexcessive were the scenes such as the murder of her ex, right in the middle of sex after performing sexual acts on him, and the breaking the bottle and showing it inside her. The rest, including the hummer scene and the coffee stained night gown and Amy throwing herself all over the place, just so the cameras record her in pain after being allegedly raped, were a perfectly measured amount of grusomeness. We have no way of determining if Gillian Flynn based her book, if so very loosely, on Agatha Christie’s disappearance, but Fincher definitely did, for starters with the Gone Girl using the name of Archie Christie’s lover at the motel, to the money belly sack Agatha was reported having when she was found at the spa back in 1926, eleven days after she went missing. And though in Agatha’s case amnesia and possible suicidal behavior as a result of stress and depression seems to be the explanation of her dissapearance, the Gone Girl, is in fact a psychopath and a killer. I cannot fully figure out what was the point of the Amy’s dissapearance, we can see that she really wanted her husband to pay for his betrayal (as did Christie), in Pike’s performance we could see pure hate towards the husband. The question that bothers me is the reference to rape. By the end of the film, book too as a matter of fact, she lied about bith of her exes raping her. In the book she also lies about her father sexually assaulting her. Why rape? Why were rape and violent sexual acts so significant? Who did really sexually assault her?

‘You. Fucking. Bitch.’

‘All we did was resent each other, try to control each other. We caused each other pain.’
‘That’s marriage.’

8/10

My thoughts on Mockingjay ten minutes after leaving the theatre

20 Thursday Nov 2014

Posted by in Julianne Moore, movies

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I don’t know what’s more scary, the fact that no teenager in the room new what prohibition is or how little of communist system they showed in the film. It felt like just another Harry Potter film. Remember how the kids had to hide in the woods in Harry Potter 6 part 1? Oh how surprised I was to see some links to WWII or communism for that matter. Remember what Donald Sutherland said in one of Hunger Games’s special features about the books perfectly showing Panem’s communist regime? The kids who sat there beside me saw just a good plot. They thought ‘omg, how did Susanne come up with the war-like stressful atmosphere. I can only imagine my father’s reaction to those reluctant kids. He would lecture them and probably smack the reluctantness out of them. Wasn’t Effie at the Capitol in the book? Didn’t she show up at the very end when the war started? At least this way they did not have to introduce too many new characters. How much weight did Josh Hutcherson and Jena Malone have to lose for this part? And since I’m slightly touching esthetics here, Julianne’s eyes are grey enough, they did not have to give her these awful contacts. I am very happy they did not censor the ‘Snow selling Finnick and other victors’ part. Julianne Moore was perfectly casted. Any other Alma Coin would annoy the hell out of me, especially after reading the book. She made her intriguing at least. At this point I may as well be routing for her, rather than for Katniss. At the very end when Julie was speaking, for a minute there I thought I was watching one of her speeches in Game Change. Alma Coin did not differ much from the book, but she sure as hell was not so talkative. Katniss did not stare at her and was not fascinated with her hair, in the film, Effie was. I was afraid they were gonna cut the first film off where the first part of the book ended, and unfortunately I was right. How are they going to fit everything from part two into one movie when the strory is so rich in details? The scene when they all run downstairs and the bombs go off was definitely most nicely shot. But what kept racing in my head was my sarcastic ‘of course she’s laying on the stairs and everyone is stomping on her, ‘take your time Katniss, you are the mockingjay”. The ‘Prim you came back for the cat’ scene was taken from the book, thank god. Snow’s granddaughter untying her hair was probably my favorite addition. And Julianne Moore was listed 6th in the credits, yes I counted. Lorde’s song in the credits will be downloaded later this week. Same with Jennifer singing The Hanging Man. When the Mockingjays are over she will definitely be approached by some record label. In loving memory of Phillip brought a tear to my eye, god, such a talent.

I cannot wait for the fourth part. With Prim’s fate and Julie falling off the balcony, the final part is going to blow our brains out.

Philadelphia. Quartet. The Painted Veil. When Harry Met Sally. Down and Out in Beverly Hills. Fireflies in the Garden. Evil Dead. Evolution. Sixteen Candles. Pregnancy Pact. Body of Evidence. Octane. Mirror Mirror. Life-Size. Prosecuting Casey Anthony. The Cat in the Hat.

02 Saturday Aug 2014

Posted by in Julianne Moore, movies, Naomi Watts, Oscar nominee

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Philadelphia

A wonderful film, rewatched to use as reference to The Buyers Club. Fifith favorite Tom Hanks film, I know he’s got that many great ones in his filmography.

Sir, wouldn’t you be more comfortable in a study room?
No. Would it make you more comfortable?

10/10

Quartet

Seems pretty damn excellent and so bloody British to a person who lives in UK and bumps into a Brit person once week. Where did all the English people go?

I’m going to say something very rude to you: Fuck you.

This is not a retirement home, it is a madhouse!

I was pissed.

8/10

The Painted Veil

I was postponing watching this one as it seemed like Love in the Time of Cholera and it was nothing like it, not that it was a good thing. The film had three good scenes and the rest was slightly boring.

For God’s sake, Walter, will you stop punishing me? Do you absolutely despise me?
No. I despise myself.
Why?
For allowing myself to love you once.

It’s raining cats and dogs. I said it’s raining cats and dogs.
Yes, I heard you.
You might have answered.
I suppose I’m not used to speaking unless I’ve something to say.
If people only spoke when they had something to say, the human race would soon lose the power of speech.

You can’t be serious about taking me into the middle of a cholera epidemic.

Please, Mother. The idea that any women should marry any Tom, Dick or Harry regardless of her own feelings is simply prehistoric.

7/10

When Harry Met Sally

Has the whole opposite sexes cannot be friends down very well.

10/10

Down and Out in Beverly Hills

Funny is one way to describe it, insane is another.

9/10

Evil Dead

A good remake, a different ending and Jane Levy nicely surprised me.

7/10

Octane

Worst film I’ve seen all year? What is it with the 21st century and vampires anyway? In twenties we had Nosfratu, all the Draculas and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now we have ten shows that are all the same.

Do you know the words of Jesus Christ?
Do you know the words FUCK OFF?

3/10

Mirror Mirror

I feel like everything that was supposed to suck, sucked, also extremely boring.

Ten years passed, and Snow White grew older and blossomed. But the kingdom fell into an icy despair, and the queen realized that if she wanted to remain the most beautiful woman in all the land… well… Snow would have to do what snow does best. Snow would have to fall.

Snow White is dead. One of God’s great mysteries is his plan for each and every one of us…
Speed it up.
Snow White lived, she died, God rest her soul, Amen. There will be a buffet lunch served at two.

3/10

Evolution

Ridiculous, would have turned it off after 5 minutes if i could live without seeing every single Julianne Moore movie.

3/10

Sixteen Candles

More of a teen movie than a coming out one. It’s difficult to rate something that’s too girly for my taste.

I can’t believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.

That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ’em something else.

Ahh, eat me.
Who was it? Well what did they want?
Sex.

9/10

Pregnancy Pact

One of the latest Thora Birch films. Remember The Hole or American Beauty or Ghost World or Homeless to Harvard or that film with the monkey that stole stuff. This one was nothing like these. Very uhm, lifetime’y.

So this is what it feels like to be Jamie Lynn Spears.

3/10

Life-Size

Never seen it before, very artificial, not appropriate for children and bad in general.

3/10

Body of Evidence

Was i just watching porn for two hours?

3/10

Prosecuting Casey Anthony

A mediocre documantation of the story we all know and despise to think of.

4/10

The Cat in the Hat

Not bad, for a 5 year old. Never read the book and first time i’m seeing this.

4/10

The Heat. Europa Europa. Blue is the Warmest Color. Standing Up. Speed. Speed 2. Freaky Friday. Children of Men. Freedomland. Very Good Girls. Dead End. Stuck in Love. Miss Congeniality. Miss Congeniality 2. The Haunting in Connecticut 2. A Daughter’s Nightmare. Peace, Love & Misunderstanding. All About Steve. Texas Chainsaw 3. The Possession. Oculus. Candleshoe. All about Steve. But I’m a Cheerleader. Consent. G.B.F. Tarzan. Starving in Suburbia. Haunt. Blindness. Excision.

24 Thursday Jul 2014

Posted by in Jodie Foster, Julianne Moore, movies

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The Heat

Without a doubt, comedy of the year. It seems impossible to choose a single best scene, but I’m gonna go with the club scene, when the guy says picture time and Sandra’s character pushes herself into the crowd and slaps his hand, while this other guy is always in the way and Mullins is trying to get all the girls away from the first guy, trying to fight the narc at the same time, saying are you fucking kidding me when she sees him. Sandra’s ‘No, No’ and Melissa’s ‘Maybe, Maybe’.

‘Excuse the shit out of me, I didn’t realize you slept in a suit.’

‘I’ll shut the door on you. You lay down here and put your head in the door. And I’ll slam it about 157,000 times.’

‘You’re giving her beauty advice? Do you even own a fucking mirror?’

‘I had a joint and a few little bags of coke. Since when is that shit illegal? ‘
The answer is always.’

‘I’m gonna say this one more time. Stand down, Officer.’
‘Fuck off, Officer.’
‘Oh, okay. Guess what? Now you’ve really done it. I’m going to call my boss.’
‘You do that, tattle-tits! Fuckin’ narc!’

‘It was a terrible resume. He mentioned prison, and in Special Skills he said, Keeping it real.’

‘My fear is that I’m gonna put you in a bikini and you’ll still look like a fucking bank teller.’

‘Jesus, what are those?’
‘Stop it, they’re my Spanx. They hold everything together.’
‘Why, what’s gonna come popping out?’

9/10

Europa Europa

A classic that needs rewatching every ten years.

10/10

Blue is the Warmest Color

A masterpiece, if it wasn’t trying that much to win the audience over with prolonged sex scenes.

‘But I have infinite tenderness for you. I always will. All my life long.’

‘Why are you lying?
I’m not lying.
Then why are you crying?
I’m not crying.’

9/10

Standing Up

A beautiful film about bullying, for some reason brought Bridge to Terabithia to my mind, being equally good. Shame I cannot find the book anywhere. I cried at the very end.

‘I thank God for sending me someone who changed my life.’

8/10

Speed

Simply one of the best 10 thriller/action/catastrophic films out there. Tjis is the third time I watched this film, first time in ten years, and I still cannot believe how could they be so stupid and did not send Annie home after the bus crash, and even though the train crash was unecessary, the film deserves a ten.

What is that smell?
It’s gas.
We’re leaking gas?
We are now.
What, you thought you needed another challenge or something?

So you’re a cop, right?
That’s right.
Well, I should probably tell you that I’m taking the bus because I had my driver’s license revoked.
What for?
Speeding.

Did you have any luck with the bomb?
Yeah, it didn’t go off.

You didn’t leave me. I can’t believe it… you didn’t leave me.
Didn’t have anywhere to be just then.

STOP! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!
Hey man, this is MY car, I OWN this car, it’s NOT stolen.
It is now. Move over.

You’re not going to get mushy on me, are you?
Maybe. I might.
I hope not, ’cause you know, relationships that start under intense circumstances, they never last.

Annie.
What?
That’s my name, Annie.
Annie.
As opposed to “ma’am”?

10/10

Speed 2: Cruise Control 

Funny at times, not thrilling, and there’s no real action. Sandra’s character truly annoying, same with Keanu’s replacement, but the stopping the ferry by crashing into the island never dissapoints. I genuinely thought I haven’t seen the second part and then I saw the island scene and everything started coming back.

I swear, I’m never leaving the house again.

Go faster.
Give me one good reason!
If you don’t, I’ll push you off the boat.
That’s a good reason.

ANNIE! Come back, your my hostage!

4/10

Freaky Friday

An incredible entertainment every time. Don’t mention the lousy remake to me.

‘Max, you big hamburger!’

10/10

Children of men

Julianne is named the first on the film’s Imdb page and yet her character dies 20 minutes into the film, whereas Michael Caine, named third on the poster dies after 50 minutes. The plot could be better, film slightly dull at times, but the scenography and Alfonso Cuaron’s potential can be seen in every scene.

Y’know that ringing in your ears? That ‘eeeeeeeeee’? That’s the sound of the ear cells dying, like their swan song. Once it’s gone you’ll never hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Julian? I haven’t seen you in twenty years. You look good. The picture the police have of you doesn’t do you justice.
What do the police know about justice?

Oh yeah, there you go, that’s what you always do when it gets tough, you walk away.
This is our stop.

6/10

Freedomland

Truly dissapointed with this one, racial issue presented too lightly, same with the mother’s alleged fault.

4/10

Very Good Girls

Nicely surprised, as it was a storyline we see every day. Possibly every teenage girl can relate to either one of the main characters. The almost sleeping with the boss, beautifully shown, again, something people of all ages can relate to, a mistake we happen to do too often when we’re furious. The parents storyline and the friendship fit in perfectly.

6/10

Dead End

Truly happy with this one, every single scene on the road were amazingly written and shot, from the daughter singing JIngle Bells, to the mother going insane, through everything in between. Humor very much in place, an excellent horror.

Was there no dial tone?
No, Laura. I just forgot the number to 911.

8/10

Stuck in Love

The writing parts, inspiring. Rest, another romantic comedy.

If love is setting a place at the table for someone who is never coming home, I think I’ll pass.

I remember it hurt. Looking at her hurt.

My biggest mistake was thinking you could fix me. Only I can fix me.

There are two kinds of people in this world: hopeless romantics and realists. A realist just sees that face and packs it in with every other pretty girl they’ve ever seen before. The hopeless romantic becomes convinced that God put them on Earth to be with that one person. But there is no God and life is only as meaningful as you fool yourself into thinking it is.

4/10

Miss Congeniality

Witty, not a ten, but very light and nice to watch after a long work week.

Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date.
That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

I haven’t seen a walk like that since “Jurassic Park!”

The interview is the single most important part of the pageant. It counts for 30 percent of your total score.
What’s the other 70 percent, cleavage?

What is the one most important thing our society needs?
That would be harsher punishment for parole violators, Stan. And world peace!
Look I know what I’m gonna do. I haven’t done this since high school but it’s like riding a bike.
You are not having sex on this stage.
I didn’t know that was an option.

I was dating him for a little while because he told me he had an incurable disease… Yeah, I didn’t realize it was stupidity.

Hey! I’m gliding here!

This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies, and they can hear you. Don’t need that, with all this foil in my hair I’m getting HBO.

New Jersey, as you know, there are many who consider the Miss United States Pageant to be outdated and anti-feminist. What would you say to them?

Well, I would have to say – I used to be one of them. And then I came here and I realized that these women are smart, terrific people who are just trying to make a difference in the world. And we’ve become really good friends. I mean, I know we all secretly hope the other one will trip and fall on her face, and – wait a minute, I’ve already done that! And for me this experience has been one of the most rewarding and liberating experiences of my life.
My God, I did it!
And if anyone, anyone – tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they’d wish they were never born. And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you, Kathy.
A brief shining moment, and then that mouth!

Hart, listen to me. I’ve waited five years to run my own op. You think I’d blow it on the wrong girl?
No no no, I know the only reason you picked me was because I was the only one who looked half decent in a bikini and wasn’t on maternity leave.
No, that’s why they *let* me pick you. You wanna know why I picked you?
Lost a bet?
Because you’re smart. Because you don’t take any crap from people. You’re funny. You’re easy to talk to when you’re not armed. Look, give yourself a break. Cut Vic and the other pagent ladies some slack cause if they ever get a chance to see what I see then… they’re gonna love you.

Good evening, I know the program says I’m supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.

Twenty-five years of bitching beauty queens, and what do I get? Fired! They steal my life. They steal my beauty pageant…
Hey, hey! It is not a beauty pageant, it is a scholarship program.
Yeah, yeah.
Yes!

Eyebrows. There should be two.

It’s lite beer, and she’s gonna throw it up anyway.

Look, she’s gonna cry again! “Oh, if I only had a brain.”

We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey.
And her performance in a little film called “Arma-get-it-on.”

8/10

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous 

A true disappointment. ‘If only it had Michael Caine’ I kept saying throughout the film. ‘He would save this ship of boredom.’ Why do all Sandra’s characters get irritating in sequels?

I don’t recall seeing a skinny, white-ass girl growing up at the table.
Okay, first of all… thank you for calling me skinny.

2/10

The Haunting in Connecticut 2

I was not wrong when i crowned Emily Alyn Lind my favorite child actress back when I saw her in the pilot of Revenge. She did a fabulous job in this sequel, which was better than the original at times. I simply loved all of it, except for the sewing the sister part, as she should have not survived this, i want to hear the explaination for based on the true story for this scene, and everyone being fully fine seemed too easy.

7/10

A Daughter’s Nightmare

Why do I talk myself into watching lifetime films? This, like so many others, felt desperate.

2/10

Peace, Love and Misunderstanding

As if this could go well. Similar disapointed as with that Jennifer Aniston romcom where she becomes a hippie and sleeps around, since what’s mine is yours. I usually watch romantic comedies to find something good for my mom to watch, as it’s her favorite genre. Once a month I skype her with a title and I am clearly not doing it with this one as her reaction to this would be the same as with the Jennifer Aniston film I mentioned. We usually go to all Jen’s films together, so I didn’t get the chance to test it and what happened is, she slept through most of it, and when we left the cinema, she called it the stupidest thing ever, and I couldn’t agree more.

When there’s a death you get a funeral. It’s horrible, but you get to wear a black dress, and people bring you food and…
I *do* like a good casserole now and again.
But when a marriage dies you get endless debt, paperwork, and just a life you don’t even recognize.

Why does the past mean so much to you?
This coming from a woman who still thinks it’s 1967.

3/10

All About Steve

I don’t care about the bad reviews or the Golden Raspberry, as even though it was plain stupid at times, it was pretty hilarious and I adored everything that happened after she fell into the hole.

Hartman, for the love of God, stop tanning! You look like a Cheese Nip! You look like an orange with lips.

4/10

Texas Chainsaw 3D

If Tobe Hooper approves of this version, the killing the entire Sawyer family off I mean, I can tolerate it. Not much killing, not gore enough and what was gore was unecessary, rather than hardcore.

3/10

The Possession

A point for the Polish box, but the presentation of Polish people as Jews, when there is so little Jews in Poland left, you could not find one with a magnifying glass, whereas there are millions of Jews in New York is historically and anthropologically incorrect.

Where’s my box.

Zjem twoje serce. (I’ll eat your heart)

4/10

Oculus

All the flashbacks, intriguing. Acting of child actors far better than their grown up versions. Not bad, but no Insidious either.

4/10

Candleshoe

What a fun family film.

Let go of me! I’m a minor! You creeps! You lousy creeps! Sold me out to the cops, huh?
Shut up! Well, this is her! Here’s the rest of her stuff.

So, after you left, we examined the fireplace. There was a loose stone…
You’re kiddin’?
And there was something hidden in the canopy behind it.
Do you recognize this?
No.
Look closer, dear. Are you sure you’ve never seen it? It’s very important!
No. No. Although…
Uh, I don’t understand…
Oh, my dear. Oh, my dear!… Welcome to Candleshoe!

What if your real granddaughter comes back?
Perhaps she has.

You can peel and core the apples Queenie. I’m busy.

7/10

But I’m a cheerleader

Looked for this film for four years and it was one of the worst films I have seen.

1,2,3,4, I won’t take no anymore. 5,6,7,8 – I want you to be my mate. 1,2,3,4 – you’re the one that I adore. 5,6,7,8 – don’t run from me cause this is fate.

It’s really easy to be a prude when you’re not attracted to him, isn’t it?

My mother got married in pants.
Too many locker room showers with the varsity team.
Um, all girl boarding school.

I’m stuck on “5, 6, 7, 8, God is good…”
“God is straight!”
Hey, that’s good.

2/10

Consent

Again, no more lifetime for you, missy.

2/10

G.B.F

Waited a year fot this misunderstanding

Oh, my God, he’s doing it. He’s going full-Lohan.

Mini Ellen, you can’t take your poor man’s Portia to this dance. Try the pro-sodomy prom.

Don’t think me presumptuous when I say “bottoms up.”
Ugh! This tastes like ass!
Mm-hm. Perfect for you.

1/10

Tarzan

Weak.

2/10

Staring in Suburbia

Not an accurate description of an eating disorder, but they got the pro-ana lifestyle right, plus the shocker at the end makes it worth watching after all.

4/10

Haunt

Loved the ending.

4/10

Blindness

A huge no. I just wish there was a film where Mark’s character wouldn’t annoy me. I hated his character even in You Can Count on me and here, his wife volunteers to go with him to the hospital, because she loves him, so to thank her, he fucks a prostitute in the hospital, then says, if his wife wants to go get gang raped then she should, as men have to eat. I have seen one too many films with rape or sexual assault or pedophilia and yet this one left the most sour taste. I am still very angry with this film as it downgrades women, erases feminism and shows that women have no saying when it comes to their fate and that men’s priority is to get laid, preferably without a woman’s consent. Why the heck do I own it on dvd?

2/10

Excision

It was three am and I was not thinking rationally when I turned it on.

0.5/10

Absolute Power. The Details. Beyond the Poseidon Adventure. Sometimes They Come Back Again. Thinner. Cat’s Eye. Inside Man. Twelve Monkeys. The General’s Daughter. Closet Land. Being Flynn. The Big Lebowski. Marie and Bruce

13 Friday Jun 2014

Posted by in Jodie Foster, Julianne Moore, Laura Linney, Madeleine Stowe, movies, Sally Field

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Absolute Power

Clint Eastwood comes back as a director and casts himself as a thief who witnesses a crime. His character does some great sketches and the film features young Laura Linney. Overall, a good thriller that I will definitely buy on DVD.

10/10

The Details

I tried to watch it when it came out, but it seemed like just another stupid comedy. I wasn’t wrong, but it was funny at times. Laura Linney as a middle aged cat lady got my full attention, but that oh so ridiculous and try-way-too-hard sex scene was too much even for a person who thinks the highly controversial sex scenes in Savage Grace are absolute masterpieces.

5/10

Beyond the Poseidon Adventure

I do not remember much from the first part, since I haven’t seen it since the 90s, but this one was purely excellent. Sally Field and Michael Caine killed it, and the movie joins my 100 favorites.

10/10

Sometimes They Come Back Again

As I was checking what films to see this month, I bumped into this one,one of the few Hilary Swank films I haven’ seen yet. It was disappointing, but then again, I haven’t read this particular Stephen King story nor have I seen the first film.

5/10

Thinner

I remember reading this scary novela in middle school and the film was an adequate adaptation. I think it was part of the Skeleton Crew series by Stephen King, if I remember correctly.

7/10

Cat’s Eye

Since I was watchng another Stephen King adaptation, this one seemed like a good fit when it popped up. It may seem to be about animals, but to my dissapointment, it was nothing like Pet’s Sematary.

5/10

Inside Man

Man, was I postponing watching this one for eight years or what. Now I see why. Not enough Jodie Foster, other than that, bearable. Clive Owen hasn’t disappointed me yet.

7/10

Twelve Monkeys

I was a little surprised how well it turned out. It’s such a shame Madeleine Stowe did not have a great carreer after the 90s ended, she deserves all the attention she is getting in Revenge and so much more.

10/10

The General’s Daughter

The three scenes that will stay in my head are: the brutal gang rape, Madeleine’s character getting attacked by the alleged rapists and the alternate ending which was so much better than what they went with. The way she was backing off when he started walking towards her and the kiss were more than cute, they were excellent.

6/10

Closet Land

This film took my breath away, minimalism is everything. Two amazing actors (Alan Rickman and Madeleine Stowe), one room, no rules. Postmodernism at its best.

9/10

Being Flynn

It had a great deal of personal meaning to me, because of the writing and Julie’s character’s suicide, but I feel the film is not for everyone, and many could find it plain boring. Thankfully, I’m not that person.

8/10

The Big Lebowski

Don’t we just all love cult films? Surely I loved the Dude’s way of life the second time around too, but this time I focused on Maude Lebowski’s feminism and her vaginal art. Dude’s friend remains my favorite character though.

10/10

Marie and Bruce

I was forcing myself to love this film and it was not bad, especially the party scenes when Julie Moore’s character listened in on everyone’s conversations, but it got bad around the time she said she wanted to go home and yet stayed. I thought Evolution was the worst film starring Julianne Moore, now we have a tie.

3/10

Howards End. The Bridges of Madison County. Ironweed. Inside Daisy Clover. Eastern Promises. Out of Africa. The Last Picture Show. All is Lost. Deliverance. Timepiece. Silkwood. The French Lieutenant’s Woman. Non-Stop. The Assassination of Richard Nixon. Acceptance. Fireflies in the Garden. The Ladies Club. Vacancy.

20 Tuesday May 2014

Posted by in Jodie Foster, Julianne Moore, movies, Naomi Watts, Oscar nominee

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Howards End

Emma Thompson’s acting is always so profound and the film is excellent. Helena Bonham Carter and Anthony Hopkins accompany her just as good. The book is a must read.

10/10

The Bridges of Madison County

Just a love story, but what a good story it is. The scene where Meryl’s character  sees Clint’s character from her truck and knows she chose wrong and falls apart in the car and her husband is irritated with her having a meltdown, a beautifully heartbreaking scene. Fits every relationship where one simple got away. Clint does a spectacular job as a director.

10/10

Ironweed

They sure seemed very homeless. I bought it at once, the plot was all I needed and Jack and Meryl were unrecognizable. One of my favorite scene was followed by my OCD kicking in when she washed her hand in holy water, absolute perfection. This is exactly why we should not go to churches.

10/10

Inside Daisy Clover

Too teen for my taste, but it has Natalie Wood and Robert Redford in it. Although the scene where she burns down the house is a masterpiece.

6/10

Eastern Promises

I did not like it as much as I thought I would. For me it was just another Russian mafia movie, just more intriguing and has Naomi Watts in it.

You were not in fucking KGB!

6/10

Out of Africa

One of the best films ever made. What a story, the film just as good as the biography. Meryl’s Norwegian accent leaves us in awe.

10/10

The Last Picture Show

It was amazing, my favorite role of Cybil Shepherd. Oh how her character messed with boys’ minds. And how losing virginity was so important, we had to witness the nasty but in a sense relatable pool table scene, when she seduces her mother’s boyfriend. God, I just got distracted thinking of The Accused, but nothing beats The Accused. One of the best coming of age films.

9/10

All is Lost

When I heard this film was being made, I was ecstatic. Robert is finally back from his retirement/doing crappy films and it is good. Just enough symbolism in my mind to get me going. Still trying to figure out what the shoe container meant.

10/10

Deliverance

Watched it again, as I can never skip it. One of my favorite films. The rape scene leaves the viewer exhausted and angry at the world, which is just as it should be. This is exactly how low budget films should go. Watch to see excellent acting from the main four Burt Reynolds, Ned Beatty, Ronny Cox and John Voight.

10/10

Timepiece

It sure had it’s atmosphere. A lovely drama, very good for Christmas.

5/10

Silkwood

Favorite Meryl Streep film and one of the best films ever made. Every single scene is breathtaking, what a heroine Karen Silkwood was. A very realistic presentation of working at a power plant/factory. Exactly the conditions you would expect in a radioactive environment. Plus Cher kills it.

10/10

The French Lieutenant’s Woman

One of the very few Meryl Streep films that I just don’t get what the buzz is about.

6/10

Non-Stop

It was all I hoped it would be. All I need is seeing my favorite actors doing everyday life things. Seeing Julianne Moore and Liam Neeson flying in economic class, sleeping on the plane and generally behaving like every other person was extremely entertaining. One of my most favorite thrillers of this century. I even stopped comparing it to Flight Plan, which is just the most addictive film for me along with Panic Room. Non Stop will be played non-stop at my house the minute I buy it on Blu-Ray.

10/10

The Assassination of Richard Nixon

Lacked something, but the failed assassination and the motive of Sean Penn’s character make it worth watching. For me personally the film just needed more Naomi Watts.

6/10

Acceptance

A disappointment, but Joan Cusack kept it funny. A very light view on college admission process, a satisfying ending.

3/10

Fireflies in the Garden

Eight months after watching it and I cannot tell you much about it. That’s how unmemorable it was. All I can tell you is that Julia Roberts played a deceased mother and there were some flashbacks. Just an average drama.

5/10

The Ladies Club

Excellent take on rape and revenge genre. Extremely underrated.

6/10

Vacancy

Lacking something, but in the end good enough.

5/10

 

The Way We Were. The Electric Horseman. An Unfinished Life. Ordinary People. Educating Rita.

17 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by in movies, Oscar nominee

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How screwed up my life is right now if I cannot find time to post a few sentences on films I watch. I hate quoting films without writing reviews. I hate that the 12 hour shifts and lack of time forbids me from something that brings me so much pleasure. God, you used to want to do it for a living remember? I need to go back to uni or all my brains and talent will dry up. Don’t mind my background story, I’ll just get on with it.

The Way We Were

What a classic. In my opinion, Barbra Streisand’s best. The script was written by a genius, the story compelling and believable for the times it was set in.  If you ever could not make the relationship work, even though you loved someone very much, The Way We Were is perfect for you. But what beats the romantic aspects of this film is the history. American films that get all the communism and WWII facts right, instead of portraying the Vietnam War over and over, are magical. And if you miss the reluctant and easy high school years when you had no real troubles or have just recently transitioned to adulthood, you will be reminiscing those days along with going on and on about how good this film is. We all knew girls like Katie, ambitious themselves sure, but at the same dating bad boys and hoping they’d change them, convince them how enough they really are, but as a result, pushing too hard, making them feel like they expect too much of them, and pushing them away.Just off the top of my head, and because I just rewatched the whole series, remember how many times was this film mentioned in Gilmore Girls? If I remember right, I counted three times. The scene when Lorelai goes all Katie on look and calls him hours after he broke up with her and gives him a synopsis of Katie and Hubba’s storyline? I love how clingy and over dramatic this scene is.

I don’t have the right style for you do I?
No you don’t have the right style.
I’ll change.
No, don’t change. You’re your own girl, you have your own style.
But then I won’t have you. Why can’t I have you?
Because you push too hard, every damn minute. There’s no time to ever relax and enjoy living. Every things too serious to be so serious.
If I push too hard it’s because I want things to be better, I want us to be better, I want you to be better. Sure I make waves you have I mean you have to. And I’ll keep making them till your everything you should be and will be. You’ll never find anyone as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or to love you as much.
I know that.
Well then why?
Do you think if I come back its going to be okay by magic? What’s going to change? What’s going to be different? We’ll both be wrong, we’ll both lose.
Couldn’t we both win?

Maybe something terrible will happen – maybe you’ll have a good time.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if we were old? We’d have survived all this. Everything would be easy and uncomplicated. The way it was when we were young.
Katie, it was never uncomplicated.

10/10

The Electric Horseman

Nicely surprised, I thought it would be just a 60s styled romance, but it was so much more than that. One of both Jane Fonda and Robert Redford’s lightest movies, but still a great watch. Jane plays a slightly annoying reporter, the piece has some thrilling moments as they run from the world and what’s even more appealing, the beautiful scenery. It would never make it this big in 2000s, thankfully It’s the 70s and every film is original and just excellent.

Mr. Steele, why were you 45 minutes late to the press conference? Well, I’d like to apologise for that. I was giving mouth to mouth resuscitation to a bottle of tequila. And, we lost her too.

10/10

An Unfinished Life

One of some best cowboy thrillers of 2000s. Oh the small town based movies where people work at their ranches or at home and face troubles like avenging a bear. Where the police will not come running when Robert Redford beats the crap out of a guy. Morgan Freeman can just sit in the same place the entire movie, and it will not stop him from acing the role. It’s such a shame the little girl who played a cutter on Greys back in season two, did not choose to pursue acting career, because her fresh talent in An Unfinished Life is just on point.

You think the dead really care about our lives?
Yeah, I think they do. I think they forgive us our sins. I even think it’s easy for them.
Griff said you had a dream about flying. Yeah. I got so high, Einar, I could see where the blue turns black. From up there, you could see all there is. And it looked like there was a reason for everything.

You’ve seen too many westerns old man.
That doesn’t exactly work in your favor.

8/10

Ordinary People

As a person who has now seen a couple dozen films on suicide and depression, Ordinary People, lacked something. It feels embarrassing to say it, because It’s Robert Redford’s directional debut and he does a great job. Donald Sutherland did not disappoint either. It’s still great, the Academy Award for best picture rightfully deserved, but something’s missing. I will definitely rewatch it in a few years to figure out what is it that I do not get and find the book. This is going to bug me for months.

Did it hurt?
I don’t remember, really.
You don’t want to talk about it.
I’ve never really talked about it. To doctors. But, not to anyone else. You’re the first who’s asked.
Why did you do it?
Uh… I don’t know. It was like… falling into a hole. It keeps getting bigger and bigger and you can’t escape. All of a sudden, it’s inside… and you’re the hole. You’re trapped. And it’s all over. Something like that. It’s not really scary… except when you think back on it. ‘Cause you know what you were feeling…

9/10

Educating Rita

And to think Educating Rita is on many British students’ reading list in high schools, some genius must have thought of that. Julie Walters’ performance left me speechless and so did the script. It’s an exceptional film, I can just imagine how good Julie must have portrayed Rita on stage. I was looking so long for this film, and the wait was definitely worth the time. Michael Caine intrigues the viewer with how easily this character comes to him.

Christ! My customer! She only come in for a demi-wave, she’ll come out looking like a flippin’ muppet!

Doctor Bryant, I don’t think you’re listening to me.
Mr Collins, I don’t think you’re saying anything to me.

Doctor, are you drunk?
Drunk? Of course I’m drunk. You don’t really expect me to teach this when I’m sober.

Why?
Darling, why not?
Oh, Trish, don’t. Come on, it’s all right, don’t cry. You’re still here.
That’s why I’m crying – it didn’t work. It didn’t bloody work.
Trish. Look, you didn’t really mean to kill yourself. You were just…
Just what, darling? Poor Susan. You think you’ve got everything, don’t you?
Trish, you have.
Oh yes. When I listen to poetry and music, then I can live. You see, darling, the rest of the time it’s just me. And that’s not enough.

Yes, well, apparently you were a little… drunk at your tutorial today.
No.
No?
No. I was a lot drunk.
Oh, Frank, why do you do it? When you’ve got… well, what haven’t you got?
A drink at the moment.

Found a culture, have you Rita? Found a better song to sing? No, you found a different song to sing, and on your lips it’s shrill and hollow and tuneless.

10/10

I’ll try to review some films tomorrow. Have a nice Wednesday!