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Another wonderful season full of twists. I know a lot of people ship Jen and Judy, and I do too, I wasn’t at first because this show was a perfect example of queerbating, but thanks to tumblr (my handle is movieskeepmealive), I now am. Even my dad ships them to be honest, in episode 4 when they get rid of the body and spend the night in that hotel, he said they should just get together already. In season two we learn that one of the girls is bisexual and is seeing a girl for three episodes. In the last episode when Jen forgives Judy and they hug, my dad threw ‘And they’re not a couple?’, which made me feel extremely proud. I definitely haven’t rated another show this high this season, it was perfect. I watched all episodes the minute they were released and then rewatched them again a couple days later with my family. Here are my notes and quotes I’ve written down during my marathon.
Dead to Me 2.01
We learn that Jen didn’t shoot Steve, she killed him with a wooden bird that belongs to her younger son. Noisy neighbor is still noisy and almost exposes Jen by accident. Jen is also seen cleaning up blood.
Judy is back!
It killed itself.
But you do have somewhere to stay? You do have people?
You snuck up on me like a fucking Prius.
I was fucking a grown man last night.
Well, you don’t know how I fuck.
You should see the resolution on our street camera.
What the fuck are you doing?
There’s something stuck in your drain.
Your hair smells so good.
He can’t fucking hear you.
Don’t fucking curse at me.
Don’t ever tell a woman that she’s overreacting, because most of the time women are underreacting.
Is Judy coming back?
They broke up again.
Some of your crystals wouldn’t take the hint.
Dead to Me 2.02
Steve has a twin brother and at first I was very disappointed with the twin twist, but it grew on me. Body’s in the fridge.
Who the fuck is Ben?
Am I dead? Did I die?
That’s just my face. I have an upset face.
He calls his mom every day.
I didn’t know you had other friends.
They’re the same fucking person!
I’ve turned him in for money laundering.
Wherever you go, fucking chaos follows.
You think I’m gonna leave my kids to you?
Stay the fuck out of it.
Where did you get this?
I truly can’t remember.
Must be good shit then.
I said I don’t fucking know I’ll be able to.
I gained 10 pounds over summer.
You look beautiful.
Judy’s got it.
Dead to Me 2.03
There were already 6 rats underneath the fridge? I can’t lie, when Jen lost it and told her son and his creepy friend to get the fuck out, I thought this is exactly how I would be with my children if they annoyed me if I had children. Jen goes to the store and buys a lot of lye to dissolve rats in. As per her son’s creepy friend’s advice, girls decide to bury the body in a local forrest.
No need to Six Senth me into a heart attack.
They’ll Shawshank their teeth through everything.
He dumped you after 5 miscarriages.
I never thought he would get angry enough to try to kill you.
I teach a painting class.
She’s an art critic.
The Dark Web.
How to get rid of a dead body.
Her heart will go on and on.
I just need you to get the fuck out of here.
Open the freezer.
I’m freaking the fuck out here!
Nothing was fine.
I may have a new plan.
I forgive you.
Yes, you’re really fucking scary.
Dead to Me 2.04
Girls learn that Karen’s husband is cheating on her with a man. I loved the scenes in the bar where the girls pretend to be related to the bride to get free drinks, get hit on, just so Jen can throw in the fantastic line about getting one more jig in before throwing themselves off the bridge and another one liner about singing Hallelujah! Judy did get to sing eventually when Jen’s son’s bird died, she ended up singinhg Dream a Little Dream of Me. Jen’s older son Charlie finds Steve’s car and thinks it’s his birthday gift.
We’re middle aged women in a Mercedes.
Was it worth it? You commited a crime.
What was so important you had to look at your phone?
I just wanted to sing a song for Steve.
I’m sorry if I got a little rigid at the fact that we couldn’t stop and sing Halle – Fucking – Lujah.
We’re not in fucking Snow White, we’re in Scarface.
Why don’t you go for a walk and say ‘fuck’ outside.
Thank you for mansplaining to me why you are the most affected by climate change.
Will you be my person?
The bride is my second cousin.
Does it look like my friend wants to fucking dance?
Those girls look like they want to kill themselves, maybe they wanna get a nice jig in before they jump off the bridge.
How have we not talked about Jeff?
Those guys are joined at the dick.
You owe me 83 dollars.
The dog did it.
Sometimes people need a friend more than the truth.
Holy shit, fuck yeah, Mom!
Dead to Me 2.05
Judy grabs some food with this girl that’s been hitting on her all season and re-adjusts her bra when the girl isn’t looking, which means she clearly likes her. Jen finds out her son found the car and to dispose of evidence sge decides to set it on fire.
There’s been an energetic shift.
I hope so, cause momma needs a fucking break!
Do you really need 8 bottles of wine?
I’m sorry, are you the wine sheriff? Because I am the dick Police and you have the right to remain fucking silent!
You’re my fucking problem. I’m not paying for that.
What were you thinking, you’re over 50.
No I’m not.
Are you sure?
Your personality is offputting.
Maybe later after my chiropractor leaves.
I saw you on my steet cam.
Shut up, it’s not him, you don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re drunk.
Did that loosen something up?
No one can ever know what happened.
Just help me and get them out of here.
Dead to Me 2.06
Judy gives Charlie the sex talk. If they ever charge Judy with Steve’s murder, she has the perfect excuse, he threatened to kill her. We learn that Judy is in fact bi and her new girlfriend’s ex that lives with her is the cop who hates Judy.
You’re in so much fucking trouble.
What were you doing sitting in a car for 5h? Oh God.
You just lost your bedroom door.
I lost my virginity in a car, it was wonderful.
That’s not a lot of money anymore.
What are you drawing?
Seriously? It’s a check.
What the fuck Judy? You fucking bitch! I know you see me calling bitch. I’m gonna fucking kill you. You’re fucking dead.
You like her.
I do. She makes me feel really good.
You deserve that.
Protect yourself and always get consent.
Dead to Me 2.07
Judy’s already in love with her new girlfiend. Jen volunteers herself and Judy to throw a vigil for Steve and we learn that they’ve cast Frances Conroy as Steve and Ben’s mom! Charlie attends the vigil and sees pictures of Steve in his car with his baseball cap on, the very same one his girlfriend wore in the pictures they took.
I love you.
Oh Hell no.
Pushing your enormous head out of my vagina was a lot of work.
I’m a middle aged woman in high heels with a bad back.
It’s a sweet gesture, if you didn’t kill the person the vigil is for.
Nah, fuck that.
Of all the lesbians in Laguna.
I cannot have you fucking her girlfriend on the other side of the wall.
That’s not the layout of the house.
I’m sorry you had to do that.
Shitm I want to go missing.
Better taste in women.
You’d be surprised how often perpertrators show up to something like this.
Special thanks to Jen and Judy.
God sees everything and sooner or later he’ll bring the truth to light.
If there’s silver lining in all this, it’s me and you.
Dead To Me 2.08
Ben’s parents turn out to be crazy rich and are thinking of selling their mansion. Charlie’s first girlfriend vandalises their garage and then sends incriminating pictures to the police as a revenge on Charlie for dumping her. Judy wants to become a baby cuddler, but is told that the person has to have a clear Police record.
Why did you have Steve Wood’s car?
People are a fucking mess.
Crazier things have happened.
Literally they have not.
I want you to have whatever you want.
You think an Arts and Crafts teacher is a better suspect than the Greek mafia?
I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say Maid’s Chambers.
Fuck those girls, they don’t deserve you.
Scars show you went through something hard and you survived and it’s your story.
Jesus Christ, it won’t go away.
I know what you did.
I’ve wanted to do it all this time.
Dead to Me 2.09
Katey Segal aka Peggy Bundy, as in Christina Applegate’s mom from Married With Children plays Judy’s mom! In this episode Jen tells Judy the truth about Steve’s death and she doesn’t take it well. Judy wants to confess to the crime, but Jen ends up confessing herself. She leaves an ‘In Case of Emergency’ binder and writes three letters, to Judy and each of her sons.
I got here and it was like I could finally exhale.
I’ve waited my whole life to meet someone like you.
Once you go in, they make it almost impossible for you not to come back.
You were a kid, they shouldn’t have made you testify.
If I had a lawyer that didn’t get his degree at Costco.
Last thing I needed was to be molested.
You’re my mother. Aren’t we supposed to look out for each other?
I’m gonna take the blame for it.
The night Steve died, I was going to kill myself, but then you called me and you saved me. And maybe you saved me for a reason, so I could do this for you now.
He was walking away, he didn’t attack me. I attacked him.
But you said he was strangling you.
What did he say to you?
It doesn’t matter.
Clearly it matters because you fucking killed him. What did he fucking say?!
He said he wanted to die because of me.
I don’t hate you.
You’d stick around for anybody.
I’m not like you.
Stop it. Just fucking stop it!
There’s something I need to confess.
Dead To Me 2.10
Jen turns herself in and leaves the kids to Judy.
I killed Steve Hale.
And be their legal guardian.
We’re going back to the car, before our bodies are never found.
She’s the fucking angel on Earth.
She sees the good in people even when it isn’t there.
I guess I thought I’d get what I deserved.
That will carry it’s way in the court room.
She was murdered. She was trying to protect me from my stepfather.
But you’re gonna go home and we’re never gonna talk about what we didn’t find here.
Sometimes justice works itself out.
We love you too.
I don’t want to carry around any more pain. I’m tired of feeling sad and hurt. And resenting you would just be punishing myself.
I’m glad you decided to come back.
It would help if you wrote a a letter to the parol office.
No. Because you haven’t changed.
I can reframe it.
I’m buying you out.
Are you about to kill yourself?
Jen, wake up!
We got hit.
Overall rating: 9.75/10
I think I liked this season more than the first one. Like I said, this show is fantastic and I really hope it is renewed for a third season!
Thanks for reading,