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Film Reviews: I Care a Lot. Kajillionaire. Amy. Tales From the Darkside. Strange Planet. Across the Universe. Return to Horror High. R.L. Stine Monsterville: The Cabinet of Souls. The Expecting

29 Thursday Apr 2021

Posted by Joanne in Julianne Moore, movies, Rachel Griffiths

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across the universe, amy, annasophia robb, aussie, aussie film, australian film, film, film analysis, film review, film reviews, films, horror, horror film, horror review, i care a lot, Julianne Moore, kajillionaire, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, r.l. stine, R.L. Stine Monsterville: The Cabinet of Souls, Rachel Griffiths, return to horror high, rosamund pike, strange planet, tales from the darkside, the expecting

I Care a Lot

This could easily be mistaken for a sequel to Gone Girl. Rosamund sounds a lot like Geena Davis in this film. Pike has been in so many good movies since I first saw her in Pride and Prejudice. I was also surprised to see Alicia Witt in a non-Hallmark movie. I didn’t know being a legal guardian is an actual job, or that someone could be a legal guardian of someone they don’t know personally. Maybe we should all consider it.

‘You’re my guardian robber!’

8/10

Kajillionaire

I would watch more than fourteen episodes of Jane the Virgin if it was this gay. Seeing characters who cannot afford to shower never have greasy hair is one of my biggest pet peeves.

This is the 5000th film l’ve logged on Letterboxd!

7/10

Amy

This is touching, funny and very Australian. The script is flawed, the last 30 min has two extemely random and unnecessary plots, a drunk chasing the girl and random youth trying to kidnap her. I have now seen almost everything Rachel Griffiths has been in.

7/10

Tales from the Darkside

I’ve been watching reruns of Tales from the Darkside and thought I’d re-watch this in between. Julianne Moore stars and shines in the first 40 minutes of the film. While some stories are clearly better than others, it’s still an entertaining ride.

6/10

Strange Planet

I tried buying this on DVD five or six years ago, I got it on Ebay and the film I received was a different title (it was Next with Nicolas Cage and Julianne Moore, which I already had on DVD). I never complained, because I only paid a couple of quid, but it took me this long to reach for the film again.

6/10

Across the Universe

Some songs worked better than others, the film’s version of Come Together worked extremely well. The film looses its plot, literally, and turns into an abstract piece no one asked for. The differences between the US and the UK are jarring. Who would want to live in our tiny semi-detached UK houses, when there’s all that space in America? When this came out, my middle school English teacher spent a good month telling us about this film, and yet it took me 14 years to watch it.

6/10

Return to Horror High

This randomly played on TV and it seemed exactly like something I would have loved as a teenager. I loved 80s slashers, so I decided to watch this. Young George Clooney stars in a tiny role and his character is the first person to die. I was expecting something similar to Slaughter High, but got a very average horror instead. It still made me want to check out the first Horror High though.

5/10

R.L. Stine Monsterville: The Cabinet of Souls

There are three Fear Street movies coming to Netflix this summer and I’m looking forward to them. Goosebumps was my life as a kid, both the TV show and books. I have about 30 books somewhere in my parents’ house I will never give away. Letterboxd doesn’t even credit R.L Stine with writing the novel this was based on and I completely forgot this existed until it appeared on Netflix earlier this week. I will forever watch anything R.L. Stine. I remember watching the Haunted Mask and Slappy episodes of Goosebumps, among many others, like it was yesterday.

6/10

The Expecting

This was directed by Mary Harron, who directed American Psycho? I never would have guessed. I also would not have guessed that this is the role AnnaSophia Robb shaved her head for. The scene in the bathroom with blood dripping down AnnaSophia’s legs reminded me of the scene with Hilary Swank noticing blood dripping down AnnaSophia’s legs in The Reaping, 14 years ago. Also, Cassie from Skins is also in this.

First and last Quibi original I’ll ever watch. RIP, Quibi.

4/10

Film Reviews: The Craft: Legacy. Horizon Line. Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight. The Other Lamb. After-School Special. Scarface. What We Do In The Shadows. The House That Jack Built. The Turning. We Have Always Lived in the Castle. A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting. Conte D’Ete

09 Monday Nov 2020

Posted by Joanne in movies, sarah paulson

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a babysitter's guide to monster hunting, a summer's tale, after school special, alexandra daddario, conte d'ete, eric rohmer, film, film analysis, film review, film reviews, films, horizon line, horror, horror film, horror review, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, netflix, netflix film, netflix original, nobody sleeps in the woods tonight, oona laurence, sarah paulson, scarface, taissa farmiga, the craft, the craft legacy, the house that jack built, the other lamb, the turning, we have always lived in the castle, what we do in the shadows

The Craft: Legacy

I have a feeling other than myself and the 50 year old male in the audience, no one at my screening has actually seen the original The Craft, which is disappointing. Legacy would have been so much better if they chose to focus on what happened to the four girls from the first film, instead of creating a whole new story and then desperately try to make a correlation at the end. Also, I’m disappointed two scenes from the trailer weren’t used in the final film.

5/10

Horizon Line

Way better than I expected. The question here is, did you catch yourself imagining what you would have done if you were in the character’s shoes, while watching the film? If so, it means the film is a success. Last film watched at the cinema before the second national lockdown, possibly the last film watched at the pictures in 2020?

7/10

Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight

Poland is known for its beautiful forests, among many things. The filmmakers took every slasher based in the middle of nowhere and put it into one quite entertaining watch. I think the slasher it made me think of the most is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Also, I really love the title.

6/10

The Other Lamb

The red and blue wardrobe sure reminded me of The Handmaid’s Tale. I loved this atmospheric horror from Polish filmmakers Małgorzata Szumowska and Michał Englert. The film is visually stunning. Disappearing from Mubi in 2 weeks.

8/10

After-School Special

I never would have guessed they were going to go there. This left me shocked and uncomfortable, but this short was supposed to do just that, so it worked.

6.5/10

Scarface

I’m a big fan of Brian De Palma, so obviously I love his Scarface remake. Today I finally got to see the original and I didn’t like it quite as much as the remake.

7/10

What We Do in the Shadows

This was my third attempt, successful this time, and I’m still not in love with it and I don’t really understand why.

6/10

The House that Jack Built

‘I couldn’t resist running that little old lady over.’

Lars von Trier’s return to horror. I can’t stop thinking of the hunting scene.

8/10

The Turning

I remember deciding not to see it at the cinema earlier this year, and yet I chose to waste my Halloween on it? What’s wrong with me?

2/10

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

Awesome title, average film.

5/10

A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting

I grew up watching Goosebumps the TV series, and I don’t think I would have enjoyed this film much as a kid, because it lacked scary parts. The hypnotising song was awesome though and I will still most likely watch the sequel if there is to be one. I’ve been following Oona Laurence’s career since her SVU episode and the brilliant film The Lamb.

5/10

Conte D’Ete aka A Summer’s Tale

I wish this wasn’t my introduction to Éric Rohmer, because it really put me off checking out his other films. Three of his films are on Mubi, and I was hoping to watch them if I liked this one, but now I don’t think I will. This was a required viewing for film school and there is no way I’m picking this film to write my next essay on.

5/10

Film Reviews: Jackie. Maniac. The Butterfly Effect. Halloween. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. A Family Divided. Christiane F. Strangled. The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

24 Sunday Mar 2019

Posted by Joanne in movies, Sally Field

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a family divided, adventures in public school, ashton kutcher, christian f, cinema, emma stone, fantastic beasts the crimes of grindelwald, film, film analysis, film review, film reviews, films, halloween, horror, horror film, horror review, jackie, jamie lee curtis, john carpenter, johnny depp, kids from the zoo station, maniac, movies, natalie portman, netflix, nutcracker and the four realms, ralph breaks the internet, reviews, Sally Field, strangled, the butterfly effect, wreck-it ralph

jackie maniac butt

Jackie

This is the 550th new film I watched this year, and I’m really happy it’s this one. Natalie Portman gave a great performance in this aftermath after John Kennedy’s shooting. She sounded very much like Jackie. Emma Stone really snatched that Oscar from her. The shooting scene was very life-like and may be not be for those with a weak stomach.

4/10

Maniac

Speaking of Emma Stone, here’s a Netflix original series she starred it. It also stars Jonah Hill and the girl from Ozark. I watched it for Sally Field. Sad to report I hated every single one of those alternative universes. And all this nonsense for such a ‘normal’ conclusion? Someone once told me I sound just like Jonah Hill, but I don’t see it? My accent does sound American, thanks to 20 years of watching American films and TV Shows, but I don’t think I sound like him. Congrats to Jonah on his massive weight loss. I know how hard it is to change your lifestyle and never look back. I am currently too scared of loose skin to actually lose the weight.

4/10

The Butterfly Effect

I could watch 2 hours of the first 25 minutes of this film, actually I could watch a whole mini series with these kids from Ashton Kutcher’s charater’s flashbacks.

8/10

hall fantbea family divided

Halloween

It was bloody amazing! We’ve waited so long to see Jamie Lee do another Halloween, and she’s back at it again, 40 years since the first one and 16 years since Resurrection. The most important thing? They completely ignored events from Halloween 20 yrs Later and the ridiculous Resurrection that dared to kill Jamie Lee’s character off. My favorite part of this sequel must be Laurie closing the roller shutters after checking every single room. See you in 10 years?

9/10

Fantastic Beasts The Crimes of Grindelwald

These films are ruining the Harry Potter franchise. At least we got to see Hogwarts. How old was Dumbledore supposed to be in Harry Potter? In 1927, he’s in his 40s. If that wasn’t enough, Professor McGonagall is here too, and she’s in her 30s. Rating would be lower had I not seen it in 3D. Johnny Depp’s acting has gone down hill since the 90s, it’s a shame. He is never getting that Oscar now.

6/10

A Family Divided

I really miss those 90s TV movies about rape that saw a mother or a survivor fight for justice against everyone trying to silence them. Knowing Stephen Collins has been a pedophile his entire adult life ruined my experience with this film. I probably would have liked this film more, had I watched it before 2014. I definitely would not have been so sceptical and angry at the 7th Heaven star. Here he’s covering up his son’s crime. Actually all three men in that family are vile people. As always, Faye Dunaway gives a great perforance and you just route for her the entire film.

5/10

christine str nutt

Christiane F

Just thought of this film out of nowhere for the first time in almost 15 years. Both the book ‘Kids from the Zoo station’ and film were a major hit among kids my age, bigger than Requiem for a Dream. Everyone seemed to be fascinated with it and there was a high demand for the book both in the school and local libraries. It’s a great film too.

8/10

Strangled

This reminded me of that time when the bank sent me on a First Aid course and someone mentioned narcolepsy and this other bloke in his late 60s said ‘that’s when you do it with dead people’ and everyone laughed.

Anyway, this was a pretty good thriller based on a true story.

6/10

The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Very average and Keira Knightley’s squicky voice was so annoying.

4/10

adventures in public school wreck ralph breaks the internet

Adventures in Public School

Netflix’s worst original right here. Really bad, until the last 10 seconds. The last 10 seconds were sweet. Highly unlikely, but sweet.

3/10

Wreck-It Ralph

When Shut Up and Drive started playing halfway through the film. Also, I recongised Jack McBrayer’s voice straight away, even though I’ve only seen him on The Middle.

6/10

Ralph Breaks the Internet

I thought it was quite good, until Ralph broke the Internet and the film got so boring I fell asleep. Good old Odeon handed out these magnet Instagram photo frames for fridge.

6/10

 

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Don’t Breathe. Purge 3. The Shallows. The Secret Life of Pets. In the Line of Duty: Blaze of Glory. Three to Tango. Twelve. The Waterboy. Flicka. Non-Stop.

22 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by Joanne in Elizabeth Mitchell, Lori Loughlin, movies

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adam sandler, alison lohman, blake lively, blaze of glory, don't breathe, Elizabeth Mitchell, emma roberts, film, film review, film reviews, films, flicka, horror, horror review, in the line of duty blaze of glory, jane levy, Lori Loughlin, maria bello, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, non-stop, taylor swift, the purge, the purge 3, the purge election year, the secret life of pets, the shallows, the waterboy, three to tango, tim mcgraw, twelve, welcome to new york

donbreathee purge3 theshlws

Don’t Breathe

Innovative, exciting, an absolute must-see! I especially liked the ‘alarm remote scene’ and the whole ‘9 months captive’ part. Good to see Jane Levy doing so good after Suburgatory got cancelled.

9/10


Purge 3

The first 30 minutes were intriguing and exciting, then it started to get boring. Much better than The Purge 2, but worse than the original. I’m glad they cast Elizabeth Mitchell as the senator. I hope they make another one, despite what happened at the end.

6/10


The Shallows

Flare gun and cutting the buoy made it all worth watching.

8/10


secretl blaze threetotango

The Secret Life of Pets

Taylor Swift’s Welcome to New York in the opening credits sold it for me. Unfortunately, the pets spent way too much time in the sewers (what were crocodiles doing in the sewers anyway) and not enough with the pets’ owners. If they make all these changes, the sequel will be fantastic. I will definitely watch it when it’s on HBO next year though.

5/10


In the Line of Duty: Blaze of Glory

Who would have bothered to rob a bank for 17 thousand? The film was still pretty good and I was nicely surprised most of the time.

6/10


Three to Tango

Hilarious and cute, felt like the perfect romantic comedy, just without the romance.

6/10


twelvewaterboy ffflicka

Twelve

I think the narration made it all actually bearable. The first hour is boring, but it’s worth the wait, as there’s an unexpected mass shooting at the end.

4/10


The Waterboy

Light, not very funny, but the only scene I really enjoyed was the ‘he loves his mom’ one.

3/10


Flicka

And I thought it would be another family ranch movie. It’s not even a family film! A lovely drama and I really want to see the original soon. I still don’t understand why they didn’t just go hunt down that tiger. Not to mention, to get a deadly high fever from lying in the rain for a couple of hours? Being sick is one, but everyone actually thought the character would die.

6/10


Non-Stop

The Lifetime one, not the one with Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore. The middle part certainly stole a lot from Flight Plan. Not too good of a film unfortunately.

3/10

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The Vanishing. A Long Way Down. The Boy. RV. Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You. Kill Your Darlings. Postman Pat: The Movie

20 Wednesday Apr 2016

Posted by Joanne in movies

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a long way down, annabelle doll, chucky, chucky doll, cinema, film, film review, film reviews, films, horror, horror review, jeff bridges, john candy, kiefer sutherland, kill your darlings, michael c. hall, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, postman pat, robin williams, rv, sandra bullock, someday this pain will be useful to you, the boy, the great outdoors, the vanishing

The Vanishing

A great thriller that everyone has to see. The ending, not as much disappointing as depressing, proves how pointless life can be. I have no clue why would Sandra Bullock’s character be so stupid to get into a car with a stranger to buy a freaking watch for her boyfriend just because she saw a picture of the stranger with his family. The girlfriend was a little absurd as well, why would you risk your life for someone you’ve met a couple months ago? The film also stars Jeff Bridges and Kiefer Sutherland. I need to watch the original soon, as I heard some interesting details that would have made this remake even better.

8/10

A Long Way Down

What a wonderful film. If not the happy ending, it would get a 10. I guess we need happy endings to remain hopeful. I may reach for the book as I wrote down so many important quotes. If you ever thought that you can’t go on or life doesn’t make any sense, trust me, this film will feel like a good friend.

9/10

The Boy

The Boy is trying to copy the whole living in the walls concept. There was this Irish horror last year called Housebound that also had a person hiding in the walls. If you want to see a good film about people living in walls, go watch Wes Craven’s masterpiece, People Under the Stairs, not these two. A true horror experience. The Boy could be so much better if only the doll actually had some spirit in it and actually moved by itself. This was just wanna be Annabelle or Chucky or that puppet from Goosebumps. The atmosphere through the first half of the film is why I’m gonna recommend this film. The biggest question of the film is, why, even, get a doll? Why pretend that’s their son? Annabelle was a mediocre film, but at least the doll moved and actually killed people, the special charm of Annabelle is the paranormal history behind the doll. Here we wait for horror to happen, and nothing. Recently I watched this other British film featuring a haunted doll called Robert based on a legend and it was creepier than this, even though it was a little worse as a whole.

6/10

RV

A partially fun comedy with Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines and JoJo. Who wouldn’t want to rent an RV and go on a road trip? Yeah, you won’t after watching this film. RV’s bathroom will make you reconsider. Other than the shitty explosion, literally, some jokes were actually good. Including Robin hanging on to wipers as the RV falls downhill. I loved the daughters relationship at the beginning when she calls him names, but they both know she loves him, as that’s exactly what life is. If you have or had this kind of relationship with your dad (I don’t see how it would work with mom) than congrats, cause that’s love and I’m lucky to have that. If you’re a real fan of either family films or Robin Williams, watch it, if not, you’re get bored and start screaming cheesy halfway through.

4/10

The Great Outdoors

Hmm so Annette Benning did crappy films like this one in the late 80s? That’s interesting. If you’ve been following this blog, you know that family films from the late 80s/90s are my jam. This one isn’t. When I saw this title was going to expire soon on Netflix, I didn’t think twice when I saw John Candy’s name listed in the cast? I loved Uncle Buck and John Candy seemed like one of the most approachable and nice people, so I was excited to get into it. 10 minutes in and I was already disappointed. Not as much as with another John Candy film I watched about two weeks later, Summer Rental. Now that was a tragedy. Reminded me of that film with Boy Scouts and that villain from Home Alone. It must be the woods. It was not very good, if you can, skip it.

4/10

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You

The title! Just amazing. You’d give it a chance too, if you heard these words. The main character was a little annoying at times, but I enjoyed it as a whole as it was relatable at many parts. Existentialism is essential to all teenagers turning adults. Without it life would be incomplete. Not sure why he made a prank on his boss, that seemed a little off. There were a few smaller plots that required skipping to better the film, but it is what it is, and it’s not that bad.

6/10

Kill Your Darlings

No one told me Michael C. Hall aka Dexter or David Fisher is in it, as I would have seen it ages ago. I get that Daniel Radcliffe’s character was gay, but the pointless sex scene, which played at the same time as an important character was being killed was simply rude. Also, the film didn’t need that sex scene, but hey, whatever sells. Nothing is implied anymore. It’s important to remember that is to some extent a biography of these important writers.

7/10

Postman Pat: The Movie

Postman Pat is a children series from my childhood. The film more or less massacred the memory. After watching this, I realized that half of Pat’s charm was that it wasn’t an animation, but dolls. Did Pat have a son in the original series? I don’t remember. Most of the characters that played an important role in the series were only shown from the distance and never had any dialogue. While there were tons of new characters no one wanted to get to know. Was there such a big post office in the series? With a few postmen? I thought it was just Pat. Guys, do you remember the episode where there was a blizzard and Pat could not deliver the mail cause it has snowed in that badly? I still remember how he was trying to get through the snow even though I haven’t seen the show in over 16 years. And here, it just randomly came to mind. There were some parts that were fun, but the whole Pat’s clones/The X Factor/Simon Cowell thing was a huge no. And that unfortunately was the whole film. I am very glad that Postman Pat was a part of my early childhood, but I’m also glad the film wasn’t.

3/10

Lamb. Exit Speed. The Keeping Room. Crimson Peak. And Soon the Darkness. The Bridge. Stalked by My Doctor. Submerged. Hellions.

24 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by Joanne in movies

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and soon the dakness, cinema, exit speed, film, film review, film reviews, films, hellions, horror, horror review, indie film, lamb, lea thompson, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, stalked by my doctor, the keeping room

Lamb

An underrated masterpiece. It tells a story of a man who tries to save a little girl from life of prostitution, by taking her on a trip. They soon form a bond, not pedophile/child one, though she does catch him having sex with a woman which breaks her heart. After a week he takes her back home and tells her they will never see each other again, and the film ends with her crying and running after his truck. It was a breathtaking experience, you all need to see. For all SVU fans, it stars that girl who got stabbed by her loving sister on Halloween night in season 16. That SVU episode did not indicate what a great actor she’s going to become, but this one does. Lamb was better than half of the films nominated for Oscars this year. I need to get it on DVD asap.

9/10

Exit Speed

It was fantastic, especially for a TV movie. A wonderful thriller starring Lea Thompson and that other guy from Dexter, Quinn was it? A bunch of people take a bus to Las Vegas and get attacked by a motorcycle gang. They end up going to some abandoned garage in the middle of nowhere and they are forced to kill all the gang members in order to survive. I recommended it to my friend and she just loved it, and I guarantee, you’ll love it too.

8/10

The Keeping Room

The film wasn’t special, but the rape was accurate. A couple days ago I reviewed a film called Joy Division which focused more or so on a girl being raped by the Red Army in 1945 when World War II ended. I wrote there about over 2 million women being gang raped in German, Polish and even Russian etc. in 1945, and how it was the biggest mass rape in history. Some women were raped up to 70 times during 1945.  Now, the statistics for Civil War are not as drastic, because no one told the soldiers to ‘take what’s theirs’ like the Red Army, but as in any war, rapes were very common. The Keeping room perfectly shows how vulnerable women were without men to protect them, when armed men entered their houses. The ending was not well thought of, as they dressed up as men and joined Union Army, but I’m sure sure someone’s gonna notice. Starting with, how are they going to pee? Standing up? Trivia fact, the film was shot in Romania. To read my review of Joy Division click here: Joy Division

6/10

Crimson Peak

Was it Stephen King who advertised it on Twitter? I loved the scene where we found out the siblings had an incestious relationship and Jessica Chastain’s ‘if I can’t have you, no one will’ attitude. I will definitely buy it on DVD, as I’ve already seen it twice.

8/10

And Soon the Darkness

I need to get my hands on the original one. The remake was great. I love it when naive girls go into some small towns and get kidnapped. Why don’t girls think about these things? I recommend it to everyone who follows sex crimes.

7/10

The Bridge

The Hallmark romantic comedy one. Apparently it was part one and we’ll have to wait a till next Christmas to see the rest. It is a sweet film, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who hates that th second part takes place a couple years later.

5/10

Stalked by My Doctor

Eric Roberts plays a pervy doctor, who just can’t stop himself. The film, despite being a Lifetime production, was very enjoyable.

6/10

Submerged

I thought they would show us how they struggle to get out of the car, instead they just sat there and tried to pull some backstory. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

1/10

Hellions

I saw the DVD a few months ago when I was shopping, and thought, amazing cover, it has to be good. It wasn’t and I waited for it to appear on Neftlix. I have no clue why a bunch of dead kids would want an infant baby of a teenager, but sure. The teenager is played by one Rose Chloe, best known for playing one of Degrassi’s best characters, Katie. Katie was the one who was bulimic before coming to Degrassi, got addicted to pain killers after a sports injury, and ended up getting a darker glow up and considering sleeping with a rich guy to pay for college tuition. I liked Katie. The Hellions storyline did not add up much, how did the kid get from 2 weeks to 9 months, no one will ever know. For some reason it reminded me of the fantastic horror Trick or Treat, which is always a good thing.

3/10

Alive. Henry’s Crime. Turbulence. Drop Dead Gorgeous. Eden. Demonic. The Choking Game. Jesse Stone: No Remorse. Buried Alive. Raging Sharks. At The Devil’s Door.

24 Wednesday Feb 2016

Posted by Joanne in Jodie Foster, Julianne Moore, movies, Vera Farmiga

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alive, cinema, film, film review, film reviews, films, horror, horror review, lauren holly, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, thriller review, turbulence, Vera Farmiga

Alive

I finally had a chance to see it last month. It covers the controversial plane crash in 1972 in the Andes. It was controversial, because the survivors ate their frozen friends’ bodies to survive. Every couple of years I studied this case and looked for the film, and one day they casually played it on TV. There’s this one scene that is still discussed about, when Ethan Hawke’s character, who was one of the people who suggested eating dead bodies, asks the guy not to eat his sister, while he was okay with eating others’ family members. What I wish we found out was if they ate that last female that died in the avalanche, who was also the wife of one of the guys and one of the few people who didn’t agree to be eaten?  After you watch the film, go see the real life pictures. There’s one which features most of those rescued sitting next to a meatless spine of who’s believed to be the plane’s pilot. The film was everything I expected it to be.

9/10

Henry’s Crime

Keeanu Reeves’s character ends up in prison for the robbery he didn’t do, so when they let him out he befriends an actress at a local theater that is joined with the bank by an old tunnel, just to have access and rob the same bank he was accused of stealing from. I enjoyed the film, because of Vera Farmiga, but I felt like there was something missing.

6/10

Turbulence

A wonderful film I’m surprised I’ve never heard of before. A stewardess is forced to fly a plane full of passengers after both pilots are killed by a criminal on board. Does it get better than this? It was one of the best thrillers in a long time. Also, my third favorite non real story based plane film after The Flight Plan with Jodie Foster and Non Stop with Liam Neeson and Julianne Moore.

9/10

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Funny, and cute, but not in a Legally Blonde way, just average.

5/10

Eden

Great thriller with that awful 90210 actress about a plane crush and a bunch of kids having to share food and water as they wait to be rescued. The kids turn on each other and form two groups. Made me miss Lost.

6/10

Demonic

Surprising good and with Maria Bello. A bunch of kids do seance at teh house where kids who did a seance years ago died. One of them is questioned by the police. I don’t think it would be that enjoyable after the first watch.

6.5/10

The Choking Game

Am I really that old, or was a choking game just something that American teenagers do? Was it a thing 10 or 5 years ago? Where did it come from? I remember kids seeking excitement from self harm, blood and knives, but choking? Cassie Steele’s little sister is in this film, and the film is just awful. But if you wanna see too girls trying to choke the stress out of them, go ahead. I wouldn’t try to choke myself to unconsciousness, but apparently, it’s popular as the statistics at the end of the film said.

3.5/10

Jesse Stone: No Remorse

How come Jesse Stone has like 8 films? I have seen two so far and they are just dreadful. The other one was a kidnapping case, or a sex crime, don’t remember now, but this was not watchable.

2/10

Buried Alive

Construction workers blow something up and the whole neighborhood collapses. I found it quite interesting, and love catastrophic films. The film as a whole wasn’t exactly what you’d call ‘good’, but I wanted to see how they would get people out.

5/10

Raging Sharks

When I see a  shark or water creature film there’s no stopping me from watching. Clearly that’s not always a smart choice. This one is foreign with some average shark attacks. Clearly not memorable.

0.5/10

At The Devil’s Door

Oh it was garbage. Don’t waste your time.

0.5/10

The Girl in the Book. Lions for Lambs. Gone. My Sweet Audrina. Admission. Charlie’s Farm. Containment. The Abandoned.

15 Monday Feb 2016

Posted by Joanne in movies

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

cinema, emily vancamp, film, film review, film reviews, films, horror, horror review, movie, movie review, movie reviews, movies, my sweet audrina, review, reviews, the girl in the book

Ten more are coming tomorrow.

The Girl in the Book

I was nicely surprised by this one. The girl practically consented, even though a 14 year old can’t really consent, to being sexually assaulted, because she didn’t know how to refuse and kind of had a crush on her writing mentor. Her parents don’t believe her and you know the drill. Her teacher does not only not want to have anything to do with her, but he also steals her words and publishes a book based on her diary. Every aspiring writer needs to watch this film. It was simply beautiful, It made it to my top 10 of the month among with many Globe or Academy nominated titles. This is exactly the type of film I wanted to see Emily VanCamp do after Revenge.

9/10

Lions for Lambs

I hated that we didn’t get to see Redford’s character’s reaction to the final deaths. I did enjoy it as a whole, but it all just seemed too fast, and I don’t think the kid would enlist. Especially if he heard what happened to the original guys. I don’t think I’ve met a person who would have signed up for this programme. I don’t think that Meryl and Tom’s film long conversation was necessary, but s a whole, the film was definitely intriguing.

Nowhere else have I seen such lions led by such lambs.

Why did we send 150,000 troops to a country that did not attack us, and one-tenth that number to the one that did?
How many times are you people going to ask the same question?
Till we get the answer.

Says the man in the air-conditioned room.

7/10

Gone

I have been postponing watching this one long enough. Jennifer Carpenter was only in two scenes, but it was a nice thriller.

6/10

My Sweet Audrina

Even though I do not remember the book well enough, I do believe this script exaggerates behavior of already psychotic characters . My Sweet Audrina is a story of a girl who was gang raped by a bunch of teenagers when she was only 9. If you follow films that portray sex crimes, you will run into this one sooner or later. I very much hated the happy ending. It ruined whatever was good about the film. Why did they make the guy seem faultless? I know we’re not supposed to expect much from Lifetime films, but they should have tried more. I enjoy My Sweet Audrina as a story, especially the family trying to protect her from the truth, and if you haven’t read the book, you will probably figure it all out before the characters tell you.

6/10

Admission

What was even the point of this film? The only good part is when the son turned out -spoiler- not to be hers.

1/10

Charlie’s Farm

Like every other bad horror, so don’t do this to yourself.

1/10

Containment

You need to live in the UK to see how low budget this film was. One block of flats, 20 people. It didn’t make sense half the time and it ended horribly.

1/10

The Abandoned

Watchable probably only for security people. If you’re not a CCTV Operator or a Night Guard, you will most likely not like this film. I am both, and as I always enjoy films that feature security work, I made it through. Sure we were all asking why did the girl walked down the forbidden corridor especially on her first day, but that’s just what happens in bad horror films. I am disappointed with the ending as well.

3/10

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Welcome to ReviewThisFilm

This website started as weekly reviews on movies and tv episodes, and a diary of the 700 new films I watched every year. Today it’s a place for me to write a few words on films and tv shows that leave some sort of impact on me. I no longer write in depth reviews, partially thanks to bad habits gained by spending many hours a day on Letterboxd, and partially because of my demanding day job.

If you have a film you would like me to watch and review,  please leave a comment.

Enjoy!

– Joanne

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About the Author

I just really love movies and watch 700 new ones a year.

My favourite actresses have always been Jodie Foster, Sally Field and Julianne Moore.

Favourite actors: Jack Nicholson, Robert De Niro, Henry Fonda, Jack Lemmon, Vincent Price and John Candy.

Favourite Directors: Brian De Palma, Alfred Hitchcock, Paul Thomas Anderson, Andrzej Wajda, Krzysztof Kieslowski and Wes Craven.

dysfunctional families | troubled childhoods

psychological | independent | drama | horror

At the pictures 10 times a month. I rate films within genre. I watch all interesting titles about to expire on Netflix and HBO Go. I’m nostalgic and reminisce a lot. Over the years I’ve seen 140 TV Shows.

26. Polish-British and proud of both of my citizenships.

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About me

I am the dark and twisty Meredith Grey, the mad Dexter Morgan, hoping to grow up to be a little more like the wise, but fun Nora Walker. I am an aspiring filmmaker. My favorite actresses are Jodie Foster, Sally Field and Julianne Moore. Favorite genre – psychological drama. I watch anything with a sexual or mental abuse plot. I used to be a horror freak. I am obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy, SVU and many more. My other interests include making oil and pencil portraits and wildlife conservation. I cannot say no to beautiful landscapes, travel, Aussie accent, TV/film quotes and avocados. I have recently moved back from Australia to the UK. I’ve been running this blog for the last 9 years. Here I comment on films and episodes I watch. Enjoy! – Joanne

The 140 Shows I’ve watched and am writing about

  1. Private Practice
  2. Greys
  3. SVU
  4. Bones
  5. Desperate Housewives
  6. Gilmore Girls
  7. Dexter
  8. The Big C
  9. Friends
  10. Judging Amy
  11. Parenthood
  12. Brothers and Sisters
  13. Cougar Town
  14. Castle
  15. Shameless
  16. Full House
  17. The Middle
  18. Revenge
  19. Bates Motel
  20. Orange is the New Black
  21. Lost
  22. American Horror Story
  23. Fuller House
  24. Downton Abbey
  25. The Killing
  26. Chase
  27. Sex and the city
  28. The Good Wife
  29. Six Feet Under
  30. Switched at Birth
  31. My So Called Life
  32. Nashville
  33. Party of Five
  34. Suburgatory
  35. Surviving Jack
  36. Scandal
  37. Big Little Lies
  38. Camp
  39. The Carrie Diaries
  40. The Goldbergs
  41. How To Get Away With Murder
  42. Everybody Loves Raymond
  43. Married With Children
  44. Scream
  45. Younger
  46. Grace and Frankie
  47. Freaks and Geeks
  48. When Calls the Heart
  49. Arrested Development
  50. Pretty Little Liars
  51. Past Life
  52. The Simpsons
  53. Bunheads
  54. Puberty Blues
  55. No Ordinary Family
  56. Weeds
  57. Sharp Objects
  58. Bad Judge
  59. Awkward
  60. Go On
  61. 30 Rock
  62. Dirt
  63. Close to Home
  64. Thirteen Reasons Why
  65. This is Us
  66. Modern Family
  67. Riverdale
  68. One Day at a Time
  69. Top of the lake
  70. The Leftovers
  71. Ozark
  72. Killing Eve
  73. Good Girls
  74. 911
  75. The Resident
  76. Crikey! It’s the Irwins
  77. Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
  78. Veronica Mars
  79. Dead to Me
  80. Schooled
  81. The Handmaid’s Tale
  82. Station 19
  83. Red Band Society
  84. Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath
  85. Little Fires Everywhere
  86. The Act
  87. The Morning Show
  88. Everything Sucks
  89. Mad Men
  90. For the People
  91. Unbelievable
  92. Bloodline
  93. Gypsy
  94. Liar
  95. The Insatiable
  96. Carol’s Second Act
  97. Chernobyl
  98. When They See Us
  99. The Society
  100. Girlboss
  101. When We Rise
  102. Locke and Key
  103. Russian Doll
  104. The Loudest Voice
  105. Soundtrack
  106. Sugar Rush
  107. V
  108. Grandfathered
  109. Faking It
  110. Secrets and lies (only season 1)
  111. Eye Candy
  112. The Whispers
  113. The Slap (AU)
  114. The Good Place
  115. The Good Fight
  116. Hollywood Darlings
  117. Off the Map
  118. Scream Queens
  119. Friday Night Lights
  120. Thirteen
  121. The Family
  122. Absentia
  123. F is for Family
  124. Starved
  125. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
  126. Fargo (only season 1)
  127. 90210
  128. Dead of Summer
  129. Amber
  130. Degrassi Next Class
  131. Looking for Alaska
  132. The Catch
  133. Mr Mercedes (only season 1)
  134. Light as a Feather
  135. American Crime Story
  136. 23.11.63
  137. Divorce
  138. American Crime
  139. The Politician
  140. Ravenswood
  141. Save Me
  142. Wet Hot American Summer

currently following on tv

currently (re)watching

return to eden
six feet under season 2
last man standing season 3

shows I need to catch up on

Feud
Transparent
Killing Eve
This is Us
The Good Fight
Gentleman Jack
I Am the Night

films that have been on my watchlist for years and years

The Rose
Agnes of God
Music Box
The Golden Pond
Rambling Rose
The Contender
Airport
Women in Love
The French Connection
California Suite
Chariots of Fire
Amadeus
The Accidental Tourist
A Woman under the Influence
The Happy Ending
Travels with My Aunt
Sounder
Hedda
The Turning Point
Coal Miner’s Daughter
Last Summer

will watch at the cinema

unhinged

Last films watched at the pictures that I loved

the hunt
the lighthouse

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  • September 2010 (3)

my twitter bios

15.04.2011 ‘You forgot the number one rule about remakes: never fuck with the original.’ (Scream 4)

01.06.2011 ‘We need to become doers.’ 2×16 ‘You’re a doer, remember?’ 5×22 (Greys)

5.08.2011 “It’s just… Meredith always makes me think screwed up people have a chance.” (Greys)

9.10.2011 ‘You be wowed, I’ll be drunk.’ (The Big C)

10.11.2011 ‘George is dead and Izzie is gone and we’re all different. We’re different.’ (Greys)

17.12.2011 ‘I thought I was headed in the right direction. My Dark Passenger back behind the wheel. But if I was so sure I knew where I was going…How did I get so lost?’ (Dexter)

23.01.2012 ‘You’re drowning, Grey.’ (Greys)

18.11.2012 ‘You’re a serial killer and I’m more fucked up than you are.’ (Dexter)

7.05.2013 ‘I think my antidepressants just kicked in.’ (The Big C)

10.05.2015 ‘The sad widow is my friend. My best friend.’ (Greys)

My tumblr titles

10.10.10 – ‘Like I said, I’m screwed.’ (Greys)

15.04.11 – ‘It’s just a good story.’ (Greys)

22.06.11 – ‘I should have fought for you, Violet.’ (Private Practice)

20.12.11 – ‘I am a father, a son, a serial killer.’ (Dexter)

8.08.12 – ‘You have to pick the girl who lives.’ (The Big C)

5.10.12 – ‘You are my person. You will always be my person.’ (Greys)

10.11.12 – ‘Thirty second dance party. Dance or you’re fired.’ (Greys)

19.02.13 – ‘There’s nowhere on Earth I’d rather be right now.’ (Castle)

29.07.13 – ‘The family that kills together.’ (Dexter)

15.01.15 – ‘Let’s go home.’ (Parenthood)

20.05.2015 – ‘The sad widow is my friend, my best friend.’ (Greys)

What I’m tweeting about

  • Addison will always be the best character Shonda has ever written. I know Kate lives in Australia now, but this sho… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 week ago
  • Congrats to @jamieleecurtis on her Oscar!! 2 weeks ago
  • As long as she's brought back for the very last episode of the series, I'm okay with this unsatisfying 'exit' they gave her. #GreysAnatomy 1 month ago
  • RIP, Richard Belzer. 1 month ago
  • King George talking about the legacy he's already left on the Survivor franchise only to pull off one of the bigges… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 1 month ago
  • My favorite films last year were The Quiet Girl and Tár and they were both nominated, so I'm thrilled! #Oscars2023 2 months ago
  • I really hope The Quiet Girl gets an Oscar nom. It's is such a wonderful film. I cried like a baby during the final… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 months ago
  • I flew with Aer Lingus this Christmas and they had @gwenstefani's You Make It Feel Like Christmas special in their… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 2 months ago
  • RIP, Terry Hall. 3 months ago
  • On Tuesday I flew to LA to attend the live taping of #TheVoice Season 22 Finale because it was the last chance to s… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 3 months ago
  • I can't wait to finally see @gwenstefani in concert! I bought tickets to 4 of Gwen's UK shows and I can already tel… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 3 months ago
  • Happy Birthday to Miranda Otto! 3 months ago
  • Can't believe The White Lotus actually killed off its main character! Why bring her back just to kill her in the most random way? 3 months ago
  • Happy Birthday, Julianne Moore!! 3 months ago
  • Happy Birthday to the Prince of Darkness! @OzzyOsbourne 3 months ago
  • Happy 18th Birthday to Love. Angel. Music. Baby! 4 months ago
  • I will never be okay with Blake Shelton leaving The Voice. He is exceptionally great at coaching and has entertaine… twitter.com/i/web/status/1… 5 months ago
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favourite film and tv quotes

‘When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one Abba song. That’s because my life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.’ (Muriel’s Wedding)

‘I used to think about
your life in New York. I tried to imagine your room. I kept track of the time difference, so I  knew when you were awake and when you were asleep.’ (Disobedience)

‘Nothing’s clean, Howard. But we do our best, right?’ (The Aviator)

‘No, I’m not quitting. I don’t quit things.’
‘No, actually you do. Your mother quit your father. Your father quit you. You quit your boyfriend and if I read your hospital chart correctly you quit your life momentarily on a couple of occasions. You quit. It’s what you know how to do.’ (Greys)

‘Where the hell was I that year?’
‘Your were watching television’. (Everybody Loves Raymond)

‘It’s impossible to worry about anything else when there’s blood coming out of you.’
(Short Term 12)

‘I wanted it to happen. And when we were girls… Even then, it was the same. It’s always been this way! I have always wanted it.’ (Disobedience)

‘Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes you play games in your head. You make up someone, someone good.’ (Greys)

‘There comes a moment when our lives change forever. The moment we admit our weaknesses, the moment we rise to a challenge, the moment we accept a sacrifice, or let a loved one go. And sometimes the change in our lives is an answer to our prayers.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Yesterday I went to the movies all day by myself. One after the other. I’ve never done that before. I had a really happy day.’ (Doing Time for Patsy Cline)

‘I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed a feel like I might die today.’ (Greys)

‘She saved me my whole life. Without her, I’m nothing.’ (The Favourite)

‘Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t. In face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that make us hold it together.’  (Greys)

‘Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five miutes, but her husband never knew, because when Bree finally emerged, she was perfect.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘I am not food, you cannot just eat and eat.’ (The Favourite)

‘I don’t love him.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘No!’
‘Don’t take me for a fool Olive,  I’m many things but I’m not a fool.’
‘I know that, you’re brilliant.’
‘Don’t you see, it’s over. Whatever this is, was, it’s over.’
‘I love You.’ (Professor Marston and the Wonder Women)

‘At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing, is reason enough to celebrate.’ (Greys)

‘Many years ago, a neighbour and a good friend of ours took her life, and that left us all heartbroken and perplexed. But somehow, when I was alone in that hotel room, I forget about all the pain that she caused. In those awful moments, I thought maybe she had the answer.‘ (Desperate Housewives)

‘What happened last year when you fell in the water?’
‘I almost drowned. Do you think I did that for kicks?’
‘You put your hand in a body cavity that contained unexploded ammunition.’
‘I was trying to save a patient!’
‘Why is it that every other person in that room had the sense to hit the deck? You know people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other. You’re careless with your life. You’re not slitting your wrists but you’re careless. Probably because your mother told you you were a waste of space on this planet. The problem is you believed her. And if you don’t want out one of these days you’re going to die because of it.’  (Greys)

‘This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life. I met them the day they moved in. And I saw what they brought with them. Beautiful dreams for the future. And quiet hopes for a better life. Not just for themselves, but for their children, too. If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trick is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn’t see coming, but that’s really the point. Don’t you think?’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Was your life not working when you let that slip out from under you?’
‘When are you going to stop suggesting that I’m suicidal?’
‘When you start acting like someone that wants to be alive.’
‘Give me my chart.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not suicidal, and if it says that I am, then it’s wrong.’ (Greys)

‘There is nothing wrong with me.’
‘Then show me your arm.’ (Degrassi)

‘Look, my whole life, I have been the freak. The girl who nobody picked for dodgeball. The girl who didn’t have a mom. The girl who dressed funny because it was her dad buying her clothes. And then, tonight I looked at these people, and I thought maybe there’s a future where I don’t have to be a freak. Maybe I can be who I am and that’s okay.’ (Everything Sucks)

‘Dr, I have been this way since…since I can remember. There is no cure.’ (American Horror Story)

‘He was so crazy about me, I couldn’t breathe. So we tried drinking our way back into love, but it never made sense in the morning. So I ran. And every time I came back, he was here. And he was still crazy about me.’ (My Blueberry Nights)

‘Bree van de Kamp had always wanted to live her life with elegance and grace. That is also how she wanted to die. Her plan was to pour herself a glass of her favorite chardonnay, put on her most stylish nightgown and leave behind a note on embossed stationery.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘All we have is this moment. The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So be… here…. now.’ (Six Feet Under)

‘On the train coming here, we were in the same cart, I saw you, you were reading and you feel asleep. I didn’t dare to look at you, you were so beautiful, it was scary. Afterwards,  I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It made me smile. Then I thought of all the men who would get to hold you, who’d make you laugh. How lucky they were.’ (Enemy at the Gates)

‘It was a good day. Maybe even a great day. Even when it was hard, I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought I cant do this, I cant do this alone. I close my eyes and imagine myself doing it, and I did, I blocked out the fear, and I did it.’ (Greys)

‘There comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no longer remain private, when our solitude can no longer be denied, when our pain can no longer be ignored, but sometimes we feel so alone that a weakness we thought we’d overcome suddenly becomes too strong to fight.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Why did you get married, Esti? Why didn’t you just leave? So everything was all right when I left?’
‘No. I was ill.’
‘What sort of ill?’
‘In my head.’
‘If I had to sleep with a man, why not with our best friend?’
‘Oh, Esti…’
‘It hasn’t been a complete disaster.’
‘And that’s enough?! Do you have to have sex every Friday?’
‘It’s expected.’
‘It’s medieval. What happened to you?’
‘Nothing. You happened to me. And then I started teaching and that became important. I give them ambition.’
‘To do what? Push out seven babies and be a good wife?’
‘Don’t. Don’t. I help them to value themselves.’
‘Okay, but what about you?’
‘That is me. And you? Are you happy?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Have you been with other women?’
‘No. Not really. And you?’
‘No.’
‘But, Esti… Do you still
only fancy women?’ (Disobedience)

‘OK, then, listen. Let’s not get caught.’
‘What are you talkin’ about?’
‘Let’s keep goin’!’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘Go.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah. Yeah.’ (Thelma & Louise)

‘She let me live at Nora’s house. She let me believe that I was a part of their family. I fell in love with that family. What am I supposed to do, just sit there, pretend I’m related to them? I was happy. For the first time in my life I was happy.’ (Brothers and Sisters)

‘You will be left all alone with your bitterness and your rage and your knowledge that you loved her and she loved you and you threw it away for them.’
‘Do you love her?’
‘Yes.’
‘And Have you always?’
‘Yes.’
‘So then ask her.’
‘Olive, will you forgive me?’ (Professor Marston and the Wonder Women)

‘No razors, no scissors, no fucking freedom.’
(Short Term 12)

‘You can’t take a picture of this. It’s already gone.’ (Six Feet Under)

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