Nymphomaniac: Vol. 1

I remember watching Antichrist at the cinema and absolutely loving it (minus the mutilation part) and everyone from my class thinking I was ‘so fucked up’ for even watching it. It’s despicable that I’ve been deliberately avoiding watching Nymphomaniac for five years. Volume one was amazing and not as explicit as I thought It would be, but I have a feeling I will not be so fond of Volume two. Some of my favorite scenes include Uma Thurman completely losing it and taking her children to see daddy’s mistress and the ‘whoring’ bed. Lars von Tier adds female masturbation to most of his film including child awakenings. Recently I watched Manderlay and there’s this beautiful passage when the narrator says that the main character did not understand masturbation is bad till she grew up and realized how ‘morally wrong it was’.

‘Perhaps the only difference between me and other people was that I’ve always demanded more from the sunset; more spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. That’s perhaps my only sin.’

‘The secret ingredient to sex is love.’

‘Would it be alright if I show the children the whoring bed? After all, they also have a stake in this event.’

8/10

Searching

This film was a nice surprise! Debra Messing did such a wonderful job and the film kept me intrigued, the ending may have ruined it a little bit.

‘I didn’t know her. I didn’t know my daughter.’

7.5/10

The Nun

I still cannot believe James Wan cast Vera Farmiga’s little sister Taissa (known for her roles in American Horror Story) in the Conjuring world! I also loved the link between The Nun and the first Conjuring and that they used footage from both Conjuring films. I especially liked the scene where someone gets buried alive.

‘Next time do use the shotgun.’

7.5/10

The Two Jakes

I don’t remember Chinatown being this exhausting. There was no action in the sequel, other than, not one, but two earthquakes. Thank God for Madeleine Stowe.

4/10

The Spy Who Dumped Me

Kate McKinnon was amazing in this!

6/10

The Happytime Murders

They replaced Sandra Bullock with a puppet and made The Heat 2 but with muppets fucking? Wtf

2.5/10

I, Daniel Blake

Realest portrayal of life in the UK I’ve seen in years.

‘I am not a client, a customer, nor a service user. “I am not a shirker, a scrounger, a beggar, nor a thief. “I’m not a National Insurance Number or blip on a screen. “I paid my dues, never a penny short, and proud to do so. “I don’t tug the forelock, but look my neighbour in the eye and help him if I can. “I don’t accept or seek charity. “My name is Daniel Blake. I am a man, not a dog. “As such, I demand my rights. “I demand you treat me with respect. “I, Daniel Blake, am a citizen, “nothing more and nothing less.’

‘We should all be drinking a lot more bloody coffee.’

8/10

Christopher Robin

I live for nostalgic films, so It does not come as a surprise that I cried through the entire ninety minutes. They were handing out character postcards at my cinema and they are just as adorable as this film.

‘I’ve cracked.’
‘Oh, I don’t see any cracks. A few wrinkles, maybe.’

‘People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.’

‘Doing nothing often leads to the very best kind of something.’

‘I haven’t thought about them in years.’
‘Well, we think about you every day.’

8/10

Mother

This heart whelming comedy starring Debbie Reynolds is the 400th new film I watched this year.

6/10

 

One Week and a Day

Brilliant film on coping with loss.

8/10

Moka

Simple but good.

6/10

Slender Man

What sort of teachers take their high school students on a trip to a cemetery in the middle of nowhere? I cannot believe I just spent 2 hours watching this garbage. Plus Annalise Basso, the little girl from Oculus was only in the first 3 scenes, what a waste.

1/10