Category Archives: the simpsons

Bones 12.05. Nashville 5.08. Switched at Birth 5.06. How To Get Away With Murder 3.11. The Goldbergs 4.17. The Simpsons 28.14. Modern Family 8.16. Scandal 6.04. The Good Fight 1.04

06 Monday Mar 2017

Posted by in bones, how to get away with murder, modern family, nashville, scandal, switched at birth, the goldbergs, the good fight, the simpsons, tv series

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Bones 12.05

We learn that Fisher had a thing for Brennan and wrote a fanfiction of them having sex and solving crimes together.

Boner Street.
Is Brennan really going to narrate her new book?
Contact lens. if we can pull his fingerprint off of it.
I myself spent time in foster care.
I have to record an audition.
I attended North-western.
I assure you, offence was taken.
More of an Adams Family kid?
Spiders, how about a warning.
Don’t ever take credit for how well I turned out.
A plot centred around a tormented intern who had an affair with his boss.
You’ve not only read my novels, you were once a devoted fan of them.
Despite your apathetic affectations, there are things in this life that bring you joy.

8.5/10

Nashville 5.08

Rayna’s attacker said everything we ever wanted to say to our favorite artist. Thanks for being there in my loneliest moments and understanding me when no one gave a crap.

I’m not going to a show with a creepy dude following me around.
I want to do my next album with you in the choir.
I got my period. I need new clothes. My clothes got all messed up.
I remember you and Rayna sneaking around when I was little.
I can’t believe Maddie called you.
I’m gonna push Highway 65 to sign you.
You’re not this angry kid anymore.
I wanted to tell you that you understand me better than anyone I’ve ever known.
How can that be true? I just met you.
That’s not true.
You met me the day I heard your first single on my Mom’s stereo back in West Memphis. You spoke to me in a way that I couldn’t speak to myself. You changed my life. You’ve known me for a very long time. And all I’ve ever wanted was to meet you.
It was given to me by an awful man. An alcoholic abuser like your husband.
Deacon’s not an abuser.
I wanted to talk to you ’cause I could see that you were different.
You weren’t like the ones that lie, and make fun of me behind my back.
Make up stupid excuses like I don’t know what’s going on.
You think you’re the only person who’s ever been abused in your life? I didn’t say that.
Well, I’ve got a story for you. And this is not something you’re gonna find on the Internet.
You wanna hear it? My father was a sociopath. Killed my mother, covered it up. And that happened when I was 12 years old. And I have to deal with that every day of my life. And then sometimes it gets to me, and I overcompensate with my husband. And in my business, and I say things to my daughters that I know deep down are just gonna make ’em want to run away from me. But it’s like I can’t help it. Cause that horror, it’s just right there at the surface. And I don’t want them to feel that.
And I don’t want them to think I’m feeling it. So I write songs and I sing them, cause that’s the only way I know how to deal with this pain that I carry inside me.
And that loser husband of mine? His daddy whipped him every single day. And that’s the same piece of crap that got him drinking in the fourth grade.
How is it we can be so awful to the people we love the most? That just makes me so angry.
Makes me so sad. I know you’re carrying that kind of pain too.
I see that.
But the only choice we have is we got to go on.
We can’t give in to that.
You give in to that, that evil man, he wins.
‘Cause that means he broke you just like he wanted to.
Now you being here right now, you’re giving in to it.
I have two daughters who need me, okay?
You’re working with Rayna James, right? 911 from her phone.
My husband goes by his middle name.
And that’s the same thing that got him drinking in the 4th grade.
I have two daughters.

10/10

Switched at Birth 5.06

Bay messes up good tattooing a gang sign on a kid’s arm.

It says here you’re 200 pounds.
I lost a lot of weight.
So you can just tattoo that?
They’re looking for diverse teachers.
I wouldn’t be pre-med if it wasn’t for you.
I had a heart transplant 3 years a go, on April 14th.
You have Angelo’s heart.

4/10

How to Get Away With Murder 3.11

Got him into law school.
We’re just gonna sit around and act all victimy.
You can call me whatever you want.
They think you’re a joke now.
This bitch. I’m no joke.
She did a DNA test on Wes, idiot.
I was pregnant 8 months, they killed my baby.
Sorry about your baby and Wes too.
Did you know her when she was pregnant?
She admitted she moved the body.
Wes was cremated.
I think Connor is the annonymous source this whole time.
That’s why we’ve been following you and trusting you. Because you said you knew what you were doing, but now one of us just got killed and we need to find out who did that.
You checked your voicemail.
You went to Annalise’s house that night, didn’t you?

9.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.17

Adam swears for the first time and everyone gets their own jar. Adam gets an Adam jar for everytime he says something nerdy. JTP gets a new member.

Who taught you to do this?
You.
It’s gonna be fucking fun.
We’re like best fucking friends.
Oh, fuck , you’re so adorable.
Adam Jar for every time you say something nerdy.

2.5/10

The Simpsons 28.14

Smithers, the bodies. ‘Christmas decorations’.
People don’t deserve so many awards. People suck. They should just be glad to be alive.
Tofu bell.
I’m sure you have an explanation for where you were?
The best! I was eating hotdogs.
That is so stupid, it must be the truth.
Well, you were young then, and you’re stupid now.
If we split up, no one gets Homer.
That’s when I started eating my emotions.
I’m the smartest ball in the bag.
I would never forget you, how could I?

6.5/10

Modern Family 8.16

Nathan Fillion and Jane Krakowski guest star yet again in one of the most plain and uneventful episodes of Modern Family. Mitchell goes on a tea brunch with Hayley and Nathan Fillion and Cam join them, meanwhile Gloria fights with Jane Krakowski’s character.

You know it’s loud when you can’t hear my voice.

4/10

Scandal 6.04

Cyrus is stuck in prison and we learn that he did not do it.

I’m leaving you.
You said you’d never leave me.
Ready for the belt now?
Everyone in my family voted for Frank Vargas.
I don’t want you to bleed all over the carpet.
I am a monster, but I am your monster.
At some point the debt has to be paid.
Be a man you can be proud of, Cy.
I’m going to die in here.
I will always be your friend, but I will not speak to you again.
Give me your belt.
I’m innocent.
You’re innocent.
I just wanted to see you suffer.
I’m innocent.
Tom couldn’t do it, which means Cyrus is innocent.

8.5/10

The Good Fight 1.04

Matthew Perry guest stars and complicates things and I don’t think we could care less. Are we supposed to ship Maia and Clarissa?  And Maia is bisexual, not gay? What a disappointment.

Yeah, my girlfriend is pretty hot.
Was that the first time you slapped someone?
I guess it was.
Fuck you.

3/10

Wrote this post over the course of a week, while rewatching The Brave One with Jodie Foster for the 40th time and season 6 of Modern Family.

Bones 12.03. Bones 12.04. Greys Anatomy 13.13. The Middle 8.14. SVU 18.11. This Is Us 1.06. This is Us 1.07. The Simpsons 28.15. Riverdale 1.04

27 Monday Feb 2017

Posted by in bones, greys anatomy, riverdale, special victims unit, the middle, the simpsons, this is us, tv series

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Bones 12.03

Thank you Bones for mentioning one of my most favorite episodes and for that Simpsons reference. Plus watching that elderly lady hit that elderly pervert was entertaining.

Hoes before bros.
I have long been fascinated with black and heavy metal culture ever since we had that case involving the band Skulle.
I remember.
I want you to get a vasectomy.
This is where he went to heaven.
You will need a new cleaning service.
You bastard Son of a bitch.
He asked if I wanted to pork.
Go pork yourself.
A gentleman would never talk that way about Donna Reed.

This side of Montgomery Burns.
Anyone who looks at naked pictures of Donna Reed is just wrong.
Thank you you have been very very helpful.
We will be bagging your sniper.
I want to adopt.

8.5 / 10

Bones 12.04

The guy who married Bones and Booth was killed.

Needle marks on the bone.
He parts his hair to the right, most lefties do that.
This is one of those audio doorbells that record voices.
The victim was alive when the rats were eating his torso.
Rat teeth never stop growing.
Booth that’s a bomb.
He killed himself so he wouldn’t have to give me up.

4.5 / 10

Grey’s Anatomy 13.13

Second episode without Ellen, what a shame. I was never a fan of Kepner, so the patient hating on her for not being Doctor Grey made Ellen’s absence easier on me. I have nothing against April, she’s my dad’s favorite character and my mom loves her with Avery, but for me, she’s still almost as annoying as she was back in season 6. Meantime, Stephanie kills a little boy and Eliza takes it worse than her and I’m not happy about Arizona comforting her.

I am doctor.
Not Dr grey.
Listen doctor not Grey.
Any pain?
Lots. Thanks to you.
Dr Grey is nice.
I’m nicer.
Did I kill that boy?
Bailey was my favourite student.
How do you stop feeling like this?

You don’t. You put it behind you.
Edwards what happened?
He died.
He was my patient and he died, he was a little boy.
Pop the hood, pop the hood.
You could have friends here if you wanted to.

8.5 / 10

The Middle 8.14

Last time I checked, The Middle was a comedy show, which part of this episode was funny? That Mike remark about washing his teeth was just on point, he does it in every single episode. The highlight of the episode was when Brick fell down the stairs.

1/10

SVU 18.11

Sounds like sexual assault
They are hauling ass to.
Tell him that I know he didn’t mean it.
Injury suggest someone twisted his arm.
We are SVU, we know the law.
I thought only adults could go to prison.
We have evidence that your son has been abused.
How do we make it go away?
We can’t, we don’t.
Jack died 20 minutes ago.
You have witnessed the abuse?
Everything will not be ok.
I got it on video.
And protect him anymore he doesn’t deserve it.
Jack reminded me of me.

Guys in the neighborhood used to pick on me every day.
You didn’t make the app, did you, that really happened to you, didn’t it?

9/10

This is Us 1.06

Randall is gifted and exceptional? So is this show!

Are you saying Randall is gifted?
All of our children are exceptional.
What is she writing?
That’s her suicide note.
So I see you picked the fat one.
I know that you hate your assistant because she says like too much.
Maybe I was meant to be a musician. Or an artist or a writer. There’s this whole genetic side of me that nobody ever knew existed. Maybe I’ve had an artistic side of me all along and no one new to empower it. Maybe I was not destined to wear shirt and tie everyday like my parents for thought.
I’ll be in the car, intern.
If you keep up the pace, you can burn 470 calories an hour walking.
I don’t want to be different from them. If I get an A I’ll get an ice cream and Kate and Kevin won’t and then they’ll hate me.
I think I skipped the montage.
That was a middle age crisis.
Just a little one.

10/10

This Is Us 1.07

How can a doctor ask an obese person if they binge? Why do you think they have trouble losing weight? It’s an addiction for God’s sake, a doctor should understand that, but usually they’re just too condescending.

That was your fastest ran yet.
Damn right.
I’ve been killing myself for weeks and I’m down 1 pound.
Do you binge?
I hit a goal and I celebrated by eating some food I actually like the taste of.
I don’t have an eating problem.
You treated me like a dog.
The one I gave Rebecca back in the day.
And I am going to buy you the best washing machine in the world.

4/10

The Simpsons 28 .15

Wouldn’t it be nice played a few times during the episode and that was my most favorite thing.
Maybe another animated show stole it.

Who the hell are you?
I am guilt.
Wait the baby’s name is Maggie.
Even Madeline from the Madeline books?
Nerds, get them.
In the right hat, anything is possible.

3.5/10

Riverdale 1.04

Sad to see the teacher go.

Meanwhile the girl next door, our friendly neighborhood Hitchcock blonde.

2/10

Grey’s Anatomy 13.11. SVU 18.09. Nashville 5.07. Scandal 6.03. How to Get Away with Murder 3.12. Switched at Birth 5.02. The Good Place 1.12. The Good Place 1.13. The Simpsons 28.12. The Simpsons 28.13

17 Friday Feb 2017

Posted by in greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, nashville, scandal, special victims unit, switched at birth, the good place, the simpsons, tv series

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Congrats to SVU on 400 episodes!

Grey’s Anatomy 13.11

30 years to life.
That’s not even his case.
The pelvis is broken, trapping the baby’s head.
I was going to go home and tell my kids that daddy was a hero today.
How did it get from that to like everybody’s dying?
You’re not welcome on my case, and Webber, he’s a friend of mine.
Is she ok? Is she sober, at least tell me that.
Is this guy breathing funny.
I need to be two people. I need to Alex.
You saved that kid’s life.
Stuff like this happens and I’m built for it.
Amelia? Where’s Amelia? Where is everybody?
So you keep going, you don’t give up, you stand tall, you fight.
I miss Alex, I hate that he’s gone.
They hurt, they break, they bleed.

9.5/10

SVU 18.09

SVU serves another amazing episode, and the last two lines between

I think I’ve been raped.
Can you tell me what happened?
I can’t, I don’t remember anything.
The lab results came back and it shows two separate semen samples.
Are you saying two men raped me?
The sample is a familiar match.
Don’t worry dear I can afford it.
If they’re coming to the party, what do they expect?
When your grandfather sees someone younger than he is, getting somebody prettier than he gets, he can’t stand it.
Your mother was just pregnant with you, she was beautiful, radiant, he invited us to a party and he gave her a drink, a special drink.
Do you think this generation is better?
I don’t think this generation is any better, or different. It’s just younger.
Lieutenant Benson, SVU.

10/10

Nashville 5.07

Are we really ready to see Maddie dating a guy who lives in a basement-like apartment?

These are the facts, honey, the rest is just cheap whisky.
Where exactly were you when the cake burned?
An alarm went off.
Does it hurt… being in love?
But underneath the pain, my favorite hurricane.

3/10

Scandal 6.03

Meredith’s father better gets out of prison as this show cannot afford to lose Cyrus.

Why are you investigating Cyrus Bean?
I crawled across the lawn to get here, let me in.
They were sleeping together.
I’ll withdraw, if Mellie does. Let the country pick a new president.
What you called the most beautiful thing, I’m keeping it. It’s not safe in your hands.
I want to be the president of the United States.
You deserve to die more than anyone I’ve ever killed.
He confessed.
Mellie, you are the next president of the United States.
Cyrus, I want you to be the vice president.

5/10

How to get away with murder 3.12

In case of emergency.
They’re not coming? The kids.
The memorial’s today.
Keep coming for me, maybe I will murder somebody.
She just confessed to burning down the house with her brother in it.
Of course not, that would be illegal.
You honestly want me to believe you lost the body.
They lost his body that proves you’re being framed.
You said you didn’t believe me.
Do you think me and you up here had nothing to do with it?
He didn’t do it.
We are all crazy debating over who killed our friend.
You didn’t just neglect them, you molested them.
Take a picture.
Who the hell are you?
Beyonce. Who the hell are you?

9/10

Switched at birth 5.02

Bay got a job as a Tattoo Apprentice.

Is that your book.
Those guys were talking about robbing you.
I speak Mandarin, I know ASL.
Can I see your portfolio?

4/10

The Simpsons 28.12

The Gatsby two-parter was not a success.

4.5/10

The Simpsons 28.13

2/10

The Good Place 1.12

I’m going to sit alone in my house watching wedding fails on the YouTube, drinking margaritas through a straw until I pass out on my vibrator.
Do you have a second to talk about the environment?
No bug off whale humper.
Is there a 7-Eleven on the way?
I’m talking Kristen Stewart on red carpet level of emotionless.
Eleanor is not currently in the bad place, we have no idea where she is.
This is not your bar mitzvah anymore, bitch, now it’s my 24th birthday.
I was disturbed particularly by starting fire in the mailbox to get the mailman to take off his shirt.
Oh your accomplices will go to the bad place instead.
We’re off the hook!

8/10

The Good Place 1.13

I cried when they restarted everything. This was an awesome season finale to a so-so show.

You do realise the bad place is not exactly a couple of the retreat.
This is the bad place.
We’ve been torturing each other.
Hey, now this is the bad place.
Side note, I might legit be into Tahani.
Welcome, everything is fine.
You Eleonor, are dead.
Eleonor, find Chidi.

7/10

Greys 13.12. The Middle 8.13. SVU 18.10. How To Get Away With Murder 3.11. Nashville 5.05. Nashville 5.06. Scandal 6.02. The Simpsons 28.11. Switched at Birth 5.01. Riverdale 1.01. Riverdale 1.02. Riverdale 1.03

11 Saturday Feb 2017

Posted by in greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, nashville, riverdale, scandal, special victims unit, switched at birth, the middle, the simpsons, tv series

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Congrats to Greys, How to Get Away and Scandal on joining The Middle among the shows we’ll see next year!

Greys 13.12

It seems ridicoulous for DeLuca to drop the charges, Karev injured his eye for Christ’s sake. How can you just forgive him to save a girl you have a crush on. Just wait how mad he’ll get when she goes back to Karev. They actually replaced Grey with Kepner as the chief of General Surgery as Meredith gets suspended. We meet Maggie’s mom and they rob us of the moments she met Webber and Meredith. At least Meredith loves her. Meanwhile, a woman is stuck in a razor wire and Hunts cuts himself on it as he tries to calm her down.

I’m dropping the charges
Has he threatened you?
I get a star what I do play nice with others.
Maggie your mom is here.
Arizona and I are already old friends.
She told on me?
Then you no longer have an OR.
You’re suspended.
Bailey took out Grey.
Look at the hospital sign. Grey seems untouchable.
I just lost mine.
I need to introduce him to my mother.
Did Shepherd got canned too?
Then you get Meredith Grey suspended?
You’re Maggie Pierce’s mom so yes.
Your mom’s in the kitchen.
My mom? She met you without me. You met?
I’m in love with her, the woman’s incredible. I’m going to binge watch TV tell her she can move in.
Karev? He’s in prison.
Why did she leave though?
Bailey already found the new chief of General?
Bailey replaced you with Kepner.

10/10

The Middle 8.13

Shockingly, even The Middle has bad days.

I feel like anything I say here is going to be wrong, so you wanna just hug me?
The paved the bump.
Do you weirdly feel like you want to eat a lot of ice cream?
I weirdly do.

4 / 10

SVU 18.10

Congrats to SVU on 400 episodes! Sadly, this was one of the weakest, they should have left it off with the son being a perv.

He’s my son’s best friend.
You sexually assaulted him about 10 times.
Nothing natural healthy about statutory rape.
She’s Borderline.
He was standing there, masturbating.
What my mum said about me, It’s a lie.
I know that.

4/10

How to get away with murder 3.11

I killed Wes, tell Annalise I’m sorry.
I trusted you to get me out on bail.
Frank turned himself in.
I know what it’s like to be scared of Annalise.
He knows about Sam, I told him.
You need to put it on Frank.
They don’t like gay people there.
They charged Frank as you co-conspirator.

9/10

Nashville 5.05

Write ‘Their friends are sitting over there’.
I’m sorry I’m not comfortable with that.
You’re bipolar.
The only thing holding you back is you.
Maddie tells us you’re a musician.
Not like you, I play some country and blues.

2.5 / 10

Nashville 5.06

I don’t care if he’s green blue or purple.
I want toMake a gospel album gospel and spiritual.
We have big plans for you.
Daphne, I’m a friend off Rayna.
You don’t know my mum.

3 / 10

Scandal 6.02

I dodn’t realize Mellie’s middle name was Margaret. Same as Olivia Benson, and oh right, me. I’ve always hated that name, but now I’m getting to being okay with it.

I want you to join me as vice president.
Mary Margaret Grant.
I’m pretty sure it’s just love. I have gone without it all this time. Can you believe I went for so long never feeling. Is this what you felt with Fitz, because if it is, I understand. You should have it.
You can’t be the person who destroys every single relationship I have.
Good luck getting back to the White House.
We don’t have a candidate anymore.
Over my dead body.

5/10

The Simpsons 28.11

Loved the McDonalds reference, I only made it through 5.5 days myself. The episode is disappointing, unfortunately it’s not thant uncommon recently.

I thought you would say grandpa died.
The meeting isn’t over yet.
I got turned down by McDonald’s.
You are imagining mayonnaise doctors?

2/10

Switched at birth 5.01

I’m not really into that China thing. I thought it was pretentious last year, and it still is. And to learn the language as hard as Mandarin just by living in China for 8 months is ridiculous. I’m unhappy about Bay working as a tattoo artist as it does not seem realistic. They should shave shown her pursuing art, painting benches and having her little art projects, only a few artists go into tattooing. I really admired Emmett’s storyline up until the point Melody said he was depressed. Can’t he just fail without turning it into a mental breakdown? I hated how snobby he was all last season talking about his big film projects and never failing once. I guess they’re gonna move him back to Kansas and I’m actually okay with that. No parent is as concerned about their child’s depression as Melody is in this episode and I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels sad and betrayed by this episode. I couldn’t care less about Travis and Bay, I think they work fine together, so it’ll be a waste when Bay and Emmett get back together.

I’m gonna work at a tattoo parlor.
Where do you think Travis was living those 8 months.
Pre-med classes are closed.
I know for a fact that he was rejected from all the big festivals.
He was always talking about how things were so much better in high school and how life will never be as good as it was back then.
I shouldn’t have made a movie about what happened to you.
I thought it was going to open all these doors for me but it didn’t.
Why don’t you move in here?
Do you remember your uncle? He commited suicide.
He was this thriving, funny, ambitious kid and then in the course of a year, when he was around your age, he changed. He would just suddenly feel deeply profoundly lonely and he didn’t know why or how to stop it. And then it turned into a tragedy.

9/10

Riverdale 1.01

What really caught my attention was the wonderful narration of the show. I’ve done my share of radio work and honestly, this is the material a radio person or a voice actor would want to work with. Just try reading these five lines:

‘Our story begins as that’s what the Blossom Twins did that summer.
A week later the Blossom family buried an empty caskett.
He was looking for the girl next door, instead he found me.
It was a town of shadows and secrets now.
On Tuesday, halfway through 5th period,the first arrest would be made.’

I personally loved these lines, shout out to you, Riverdale for doing such a good job. I will stick around for the lovely scenography for example in scenes like: where the Blossom twins hold hands or get out of the car with their red haid and Cheryl’s red shoes. It was aesthetically pleasing.

Another thing worth mentioning, Betty squeezing her fists so hard, her nails left bloody marks on her hands, plus she’s on Aderral.

By the rivers Edge.
I dropped a glove in the water and Jason reach down to get it accidentally tipped the boat and panicked and drown.
Don’t rush this time, Betty, it goes by so fast at your age. One summer can change everything.
Sunday night, thank God for HBO.
Wonderful, 10 minutes in and I’m already the Blue Jasmine of Riverdale High.
We heard fireworks.
He was shot.

7.5/10

Riverdale 1.02

The episode was much much worse than the first one.

Watch it, Wednesday Addams.
Most of the time the people we like, don’t like us back.
Oh little Archie,we’re too young. Ask me when I’m 18 and I’ll say yes.
Get the hell out of my house before I kill you.
Why were you so against them being together.
Did you and Donnie Darko kill him together?
Jason died over a week later.

3.5 / 10

Riverdale 1.03

Girls took down school players, it all felt forced and unnecesary.

Polly’s in this book, next to Jason.
You want to be a bad girl like a sister Polly was.
Archie has talent, unquestionable.
I am soundproofing the garage.
You became another person.
If he hurt Polly, I’m sorry.
I saw Miss Grundy’s car by the river.

3.5/10

Shameless 7.10. The Middle 8.08. The Goldbergs 4.09. The Goldbergs 4.10. Scream Queens 2.07. Scream Queens 2.08. Scream Queens 2.09. Younger 3.11. Younger 3.12. The Simpsons 28.09. The Simpsons 28.10. Divorce 1.10

17 Saturday Dec 2016

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I watched season 1 of Damages, it was so long and boring, I decided to quit when the main murder got resolved as the result was just disappointing.

How did you like Fuller House? Wasn’t season 2 so good? Kimmy stole the spotlight yet again. There has to be a third season.

Shameless 7.10

There’s something about this season that makes it not so enjoyable. They’re not pulling enough ‘shameless’ fast ones. Sure Frank slept with Fiona’s elderly friend with dementia. Debbie did beg on the street and Monica did take a baseball bat to the other grandparents house, but what about Ian and Lip? Lip kept proving everyone he’s Frank’s son, Carl disappeared off to military school (wtf he was just in juvie last season) and Ian was the only one who had his shit together and dates a nice transgender man. Fiona’s storyline is boring, Frank’s too, Kev and Vi’s is just plain awful. Why did they move this season 4 months up only to give us this disappointment. Where the fuck is Sheila, we need her.

Mickey is back and he is heading to Mexico. Oh yeah and Monica is back too. I rememeber her having that meth selling boyfriend last season but what the f happened to her lesbian lover? Frank and Monica rob a Bingo bus and try to rob a bank too. They writers made it look that Lip’s teacher is responsible for his drinking problem as he ended up drunkinly breaking into her home. Despite all this craziness, Ian said something right on point.

I’m nuts. Mickey’s fucking nuts.
I’m on CTP. Colored people time.
Love is raw and destructive.
Milkoviches? I think one of them robbed us back in the 80s. If the cops pick up the Milkoviches, tell them we want our VCR back.
Am I stupid?
Fuck her, you’re a sweetheart.
That OJ lawyer is already dead.
Have you thought what would have happened if you ran off with Jimmy/Steve?
Lying sociopath Jimmy Steve? My life would be a non-stop psycho thriller.
What of nothing ever gives you the same thrill again?
You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You’ve done really great without him and I’m really fucking proud of you.
Lip, you broke into my home. Jesus, Lip, you’ve got to move one, please. Get some help.

10/10

The Middle 8.08

The rating for The Middle are not the best this season, but It’s still well in the 6mln. Axl and April got married…for one episode. First average episode in ages.

And that weird one that reads.
That one’s mine.

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.09

I feel like they have ran out of ideas. The whole season is a snoozeville. Here, Murray has his Birthday and he sleeps through the surprise birthday party Bev threw him. Adam and Big Tasty have a quarell, after Adam starts getting into basketball.

Before you get mad, you should lay down on those coats It’s amazing.
Which baby is this?
The moron.
Wow, these receipts really mean a lot to you.
I  should be in the moment more.
If you start liking basketball, then who am I?

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.10

At least we got to hear Hayley Orrantia sing, and she has such a wonderful voice. Love Sick is definitely my most played song in 2016, and I love Unitil Then and Strong and Southern and Silence You and I am waiting for Hayley’s EP.

What am I watching?
The duck is gonna make it with that lady, what have you brought us to?!
A lady and a duck in bed. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea?!
You replaced my favorite posters.
That’s my baby!

3.5/10

Scream Queens 2.07

I saw the ratings and there is no way this show is not getting cancelled after next week’s season finale. Season one was fresh and exciting, and despite being badly written, it kept you occupied after just finishing a new episode of SVU. Season 2 on the other hand? Nothing makes sense, the killer got revealed halfway through, it has so many unnecessary characters, they’re killing off all the original characters and oh boy it just sucks. Grandfathered’s ratings last year were twice as good and the show got canceled. Scream Queens only had 2 million followers per episode, but most likely Fox didn’t cancel it because they wanted to keep Jamie Lee Curtis in the family.

He’s a psychopath and his most likely profession a serial killer.
Most Americans use the same password for everything.
His password is I went to Harvard.
I’m gonna put you on an antiobesity drug called Orlistat.
I’m pretty sure I just saw Hester, yeah, from the Netflix documentary. The head nurse is obviously a drug addict and Cathy Much thinks she’s a doctor.

6.5/10

Scream Queens 2.08

We learned that Grace has been locked up in a mental institution this whole time.

Emma Roberts Snapchatting during sex with Uncle Jesse, oh lord. We all know at least one person who does it and it’s just unappropriate, but here, entertaining.
Are you texting?
Snapchatting.
Snapchatting?
I don’t know maybe take sex classes?
I’ll just lay here listening to Spotify.
During that Katy Perry/Taylor Swift feud, she sided with Katy!
Not when my daughter was locked ypo in a mental insitution because o fwhat they did to her.
You said she went to Stanford.
Stanford Mental Asylum.
How come they get to be doctors while my little Grace gets locked up.

4/10

Scream Queens 2.09

Brooke Shields guest stars just to get poisoned and give the Channels her TV Show.

I don’t want to die in this outfit!
We want to be TV doctors, not real doctors.
I don’t give a rat’s ass about that cow Number 3.
You have 8 hours to complete the exam.
I think the answer is B, better luck next time!
I am  a genius and no one cares.
Damn it, number 5, shut up!
Where’s number 5.
I don’t know, probbaly taking a huge nervous dump somewhere.
We’re not surprised she got poisones. It was probably one of the PAs she fired for farting.
Di you just offer us our own show?
I’ll be dead in a month.

7.5/10

Younger 3.11

Liza and Charles almost hook up and this is how it should be! I wish she just told him the truth right there.

We need to tweet, instagram and Snapchat our asses off this weekend!
Liza, I know you’re 40.
Either you publish my book, or I’ll publish your story.
Advice from her?
No, advice from her dog.
Just put 10 people in a tight corner , take a picture and this party will look crowded too..
My babysitter got me into them.
I like you.

5/10

Younger 3.12

Liza told Kelsey the truth! I didn’t like how or where it happened, but it’s okay. I guess if Josh found out at the end of season 2, Kelsey at the end of season 3, then Charles will when season 4 ends. I hope season 4 starts in early spring.

I’m sure you know how fond I am of you.
They say life starts when you’re 40.
You didn’t consider me at all!
No restrictions, no pressure. This is you. The real you.
What will make you happy?
Losing weight.
What will make you happy?
A divorce!
I just want my wofe back.
Just call her.
You’re a liar and a cheater. Your lies are hurting everyone around you.
This is my daughter, she’s in college. And ‘m not 26. I will be 41 in a couple of weeks.
I don’t undrstand.
Then let me explain.

10/10

The Simpsons 28.09

This episode was a blur. I don’t remember much of it, except for Homer getting injured at work after Mr. Burns throws him down his chute.

SueSA.
How could I have forgotten to sue Mr. Burnes?

4/10

The Simpsons 28.10

Oh boy, at least Maggie kicked some elf’s ass.

1/10

Divorce 1.10

Robert called cops on Frances! The only good thing about this episode. The daughter is hit by a car and no one even tries to tell the son not to blame himself, they just chat about it among themselves. This is what’s wrong with the show.

2/10

This Is Us 1.01. The Goldbergs 4.08. Younger 3.09. Younger 3.10. The Simpsons 28.08. Divorce 1.07. Divorce 1.08. Divorce 1.09

11 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by in divorce, the goldbergs, the simpsons, this is us, tv series, younger

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This is Us 1.01

I have found my new Parenthood! Woah what a great show! I cried through most of it, just like during Parenthood! It’s beautiful and I was nicely surprised with how the three storylines are connected! It’s the best show this Fall.

Average human being shares their birthday with 18 mln other human beings.
Do not dare eat this cake before your party, Kate. Love, Kate.
Seriously, what is wrong with you?
This is a low point.
How did I get here? How the hell did I get here? I had this whole dream life that I have imagined for myself. A real career. Look at me, Kev. I ate my dream life away.
Tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Tell me to lose the damn weight!
Lose the damn weight.
I’m gonna lose the damn weight.
You want to be fat friends?
Sure, but I’m gonna lose the damn weight.
I can’t fall for a fat person right now.
I’ll lose the weight then.
You want to meet your grandchildren?
I have a thing for Sally Field.
I am 36 and this is not a very pretty picture.
This is the funny fat guy from fat class?
Yes, I am and it’s a support group.
We lost the third baby, I’m very sorry. He was stillborn. There was nothing anyone could have done.
You have two beautiful healthy children. A boy and a girl, but we did lose the third child.
Which one is yours?
None of them, someone left a newborn in my fire station.

10/10

The Goldbergs 4.08

Beverly becomes Erica’s Home Economic sub teacher and Adam gets one of the leads in Phantom of the Opera.

I don’t follow.
Neither do I, I lead.
She’s been scraping and couponing just to save enough money for you to go to any college you chose.

5.5/10

Younger 3.09

What is happening to this show, this season is awful.

I’ve never bought a bathing suit from a vending machine.

1.5/10

Younger 3.10

Oh sweet lord, so it CAN get even worse?! Point for the pregnancy dilemma.

0.5/10

The Simpsons 28.08

What is this chore monkey app and where can I get it?!

Isn’t it a little sexist to expect me to do all the carpeting?
You are finishED.
You should use the Chore Monkey app. People do all your chores and you’re free to follow your dreams.
This is the beginning of an unhealthy dependence.
I wouldn’t say it was a hostage situation.
I bet you wish you were back in your kitchen.
I am in my kitchen.
Then life is good. Am I right?
For you, I’ll get one without a criminal record.
You made that for me?
No, used to be OJ’s. Yeah, little Juice!
He calls my buttocks, ass.

7.5/10

Divorce 1.07

A family member taking out loans was very relatable, all of it.

What was that about every morning, the giggles, the big smiles, and the hi Robets, the extra shots, the obvious bent over to pick up a dime that you’ve dropped for my benefit.
He has left you both deep in debt.
He also took out some loans.
He remorgaged your house and then he took more loans.
I don’t deserve this.
You purches a two bedroom that was a siht of a triple homicide, yes or no, Rbert?
It’s the fact that you gambled your kids future!

5/10

Divorce 1.08

One good enough episode and we’re back to this? Sarah rolling her eyes as Robert saiid every day is special with his kids. The show reminds me of SDwx and the City not because of Sarah Jessica Parker, but because of all the sex references.

She’s a slut, drinking water cause she’s so thirsty from all the good fucking she’s gotten.
As a French men would do.

2/10

Divorce 1.09

Roberts is served with divorce papers at his daughter’s game.

There’s only ne guy here who doesn’t look like he cries when he comes.
We’re all sitting here with dicks in our hands.
You condensating fuck.
You dirty puta.

3.5/10

SVU 18.05. The Middle 8.03. American Horror Story 6.07. The Simpsons 28.04. The Simpsons 28.05. The Good Place 1.08.

06 Sunday Nov 2016

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SVU 18.05

Mariska had a ER reunion with her ER boyfriend, who as it turns out is also her first police parter on SVU. Now he’s trying to guilt Olivia into letting his son’s rape slide.It was a pretty good episode.

She was drunk, but she seemed fine.
Fine? What does that mean?
He was my first partner. He looked out for me. He taught me a lot.
His first mistake was humping a passed out girl.
You remember having sex?
He dated your cousin?
Aggressive in what way?
Sexually.
Your son raped an unconscious girl.
He lied to save your ass. You don’t own him anything.
What happened to you was a violation and it should never have happened.
For God’s sake, we are doing you a favor.
No matter what I say, or didn’t say, that means he raped me.
That means he raped you? Or is that what the SVU detectives and the DA told you?
I never would have consented to a guy I just met on the ground by the garbage. I was passed out and he did what he wanted anyway.
And you wnat to destroy his life, because he had sex with some drunk girl?
I knew you were passed out. I couldn’t stop myself

10/10

The Middle 8.03

Axl’s new girlfriend ran into the sliding door twice, and she’s still introducing herself to people. Brick went dressed as a bowling cone for Halloween. Brick finally got a chair same as everybody.

Hi, I’m April!
The end of fall right before autumn starts.
Now he’s all ‘dogs can’t eat chocolate’.
Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston!?
Either of us would have an affair. Cause we’re too tired.
May. It sounds like Mary.
I told Axl he should be nicer to you.
My own chair!
Welcome to the family!

8.5/10

American Horror Story 6.07

Is anyone else not really getting this season? It’s not artsy, scary or well acted, so what’s the point of it?

I’ve done my share of slasher films t. This does not smell like corn syrup.
They only got me for 3 episodes, but I got 5! They said fans wanted more. They wanted the butcher!
Judgemental motherfucker.
You think I’m going outside, getting lost in those woods?
I know this goes against every fiber of your being, but culd you please avoid bloodshed!
How may times do I have to tell you that this is real.
I’m not American, I’m not used to all that garbage.
I’m sorry, I just wanted to be on TV!

9.5/10

The Simpsons 28.04

The Hunger Games and Friend Request references! Homer played Haymitch. Everyone thought Lisa was murdering people, so they gave her a graveyard wing for all her victims.

Property of Ned Homer.
Why did my best friend had to die? It’s a great college essay, but it’s not worth it.
We now bury Sherry and Terry, survived by brothers Jerry and Larry, and her father Barry and mother Mary.
Lisa Simpson’s Wing.
Hello, best friend!
I’ll have friends in college.

7/10

The Simpsons 28.05

Mousetrapping a murderer.
I lost it to someone who doesn’t speak English.
I’m always happy to temporarily lose weight.
Sorry no ethnic food in the microwave.
And woman too, cause you have to say that too.
That kid wasn’t going anywhere anyway.
Hollywood’s greatest honor, shared credit, no money.

8/10

The Good Place 1.08

The show is certainly getting bad.

You lied so much you forgot your birthday?
Or post on social media that you were emotionally invested in any of the relationships the contestants were pursuing?

3.5/10

Greys 13.04. SVU 18.03. SVU 18.04. The Middle 8.01. The Goldbergs 4.03. The Goldbergs 4.04. How To Get Away With Murder 3.03. American Horror Story 6.01. American Horror Story 6.04. American Horror Story 6.05. Younger 3.02. The Simpsons 28.01. The Simpsons 28.02. The Simpsons 28.03. The Good Place 1.01. The Good Place 1.02. The Good Place 1.03. The Good Place 1.04. The Good Place 1.05

23 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by in greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the good place, the middle, the simpsons, tv series, younger

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Greys 13.04

Didn’t  Webber close Denny’s clinic after he fired Izzie back in season 6? Karev at the clinic is basically me at work every day. Alex called Richard to talk to the alcoholic girl.

Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic
Things you didn’t do yesterday.
Do you think this is the place to hang out with your friends?
She’s yours now, I’m not taking her back.
So this means it’s real. I’m not overreacting?
There’s no way that other asshat doctor would have figured it out.
You didn’t decide to side with me, because of you and I?
You guys love each other, you can say anything.
I once chocked Cristina.

10/10

SVU 18.03

A mom decides to sleep with an admissions officer to get her son into a prestigious university. The man turns out to be a con. The kid can’t take it.

In 10 minutes she goes from best sex ever to you raped me?
So Noah is not getting into the fancy school?
She slept with the admissions officer?
There is a rapist out there pretending to be you.
Do any of the moms offer sex?
Did you mean to hurt yourself?
I’m saying that what he did to you was rape.
Ask me, that’s rape.
She screwed some guy trying to get her kid into college?
That’s campus security.
Win or lose we need to make a statement.
What you did is not sex, trust me.
Why did you tell me to testify?
How many women will we let this man victimise.?

8/10

SVU 18.04

Amanda’s psycho sister is back! And they explained all her craziness and irrational behavior as bipolar disorder!? Anyone else mad at this? Does this mean we’ll see more of Kim now that she’s living with Amanda? Does this mean she’s a regular now? Will she never do anything stupid again now that they think they know what’s wrong with her?! I am upset. The writers show us that everything is explainable. And we’ve never even seen her ‘depressed’ behavior to assume she’s bipolar. Amanda diagnosed the victim as bipolar and then it turned out her sister is bipolar too. Loved the case and this episode.

I have trust in Jesus.
Women get raped and killed in shelters.
I was raped.
Not here to judge you.
He paid for what he got.
He paid for what he took.
I can’t have my life blown up. Not right now.
Cause he raped you. There’s no such thing in this line of work.
You can’t rape a hooker.
No one deserves to be raped.
I’m a tabloid headline.
I’ve been an SVU detective for 17 years.
And then he did it anyway.
I am ashamed of what I did, but I’m not ashames that I was raped.
How dare you say my body isn’t perfect!
She has a bipolar disorder.
It’s for bipolar disorder.
You didn’t tell me.
You didn’t ask, Amanda.

10/10

The Middle 8.01

What a fantastic episode! No backup plan has always been my motto. Anyone else loves Greer Grammer as Axl’s ‘simple’ girlfriend as much as I do?

I was a girl in the well for 14 weeks.
Team Aniston! I am totally gonna wear this!
You have to be all in. No backup plan!
Put on a bra.What’t the word…um…good!
Oh, what’s the word…dumb!
Axl isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
At least he can find the shed!
Hello, old friend. Woop! Damn it!
Did he just call me Mike?
Who’s the blonde?
Where’s the bathroom again?
First on the left. First on the left.
This is how bad it is. We’re crossing our fingers for Cindy.

10/10

The Goldbergs 4.03

Adam helped Erica out after she stole his Brady Bunch idea and I love this show.

Enough with your folk tales, old man.
I don’t know and more importantly, I don’t care.
Come on, go on Surfin Saffari with your mama.
This is my fucking nightmare.
Like any sensible adult, I stole an idea from The Brady Bunch.
That’s crazy no one wants to be an urologist.
I’ve never even seen The Brady Bunch.
I’d like to dig in, but this is nuts level, buddy.
Good luck to you, Beverly.
Is there anything I can do?
He just wasn’t the one.
You and Geoff are the real deal.
I’ll come back in another 4 years.

6.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.04

Oh my god, Erica. Dad did something that doesn’t suck!
Don’t record the suggested message!
Shut up, convenience.
And it’s advertised on TV, so you know it’s good.
Because you took me to see Psycho when I was little.
What the fuck is this?!

5/10

How To Get Away With Murder 3.03

This season is so much better than the crappy season 2! And Annalise just slapped her client!

Look straight into the camera.
Go make sure our client doesn’t purchusa Micheala.
I was kidnapped at 16 and he wouldn’t pay the ransom.
I killed a girl.
My lawyer is blackmailing me.
Jamie’s mother still updates the website every week.
It could have been me.
If police haven’t caught my father, I would have ran away and end up on the street.
I can call an annonymous tip.
There’s a dead girl it the freezer and I can’t do anything about it.
Say you’ll take the deal!
I am Annalise Keating’s lawyer.

7/10

American Horror Story 6.01

My first thought on this season was, ‘god, what a beautiful house’. At the first glance, season 6 reminds us of the hunted house in season one. Apparitions walking down the hallways, crazy pig headed people, croatoen, etc. I hate reality TV in general and I’m not a huge fan of crime docs, so I do not like this seasons’ format. I am still pissed that there is no opening credits this year that has always been my absoulte favorite!

Televised dramatization.
Back then, yoga was called streching. It’s something you do before not as excersize.
I got my degree in criminal psychology at UNC.
Did you know prescription painkillers can be more addictive than heroin?
I went from two pills a day to two pills an hour.
He was a serial rapist. A real asshole. I hate assholes.
My brother married one jumpy bitch.
Somebody’s gotta protect you from the wild man in the woods.
The sensors have been triggered by something.
When a mob showes up in the middle of the night with torches, they are not there to welcome you to the neighboorhood.
Someone’s in the house.
Why would someone break into my house to play a home movie?
I followed this woman straight into the forrest.

10/10

American Horror Story 6.04

Denis O’Hare is back!

It was a ritual. A sacrifice. And he was being burned alive.
They never had a chance.
These go back to 1700s.
I saw a dead girl playing in the woods. She was the one who led us to the cellar to the videotapes.
One look at his face and there was no doubt, he’s been through something hellish.
She took my hand and the black veil was lifted.
Blood sacrifised to the antiant gods.
Tell me young man, have you evver heard the term ‘gay for pay’?

9.5/10

American Horror Story 6.05

I hated this episode and it was the one who was supposed to wrap up Ranoake season one and it was just boresome. At least there was The Grunge reference and I enjoyed the scene were all the female servants were thrown into the cellar and their bones were found after years. I hated Evan’s accent. It was slightly British at parts, but he should have had some training. I loved the half the face getting all dark when Evan moved the torch away part.

2/10

Younger 3.02

So Kelsey was raped by her ex friend’s twin brother and they made a joke of it. What is worse, Peter Herman, who also happens to be Mariska Hargitay’s husband, is on the show. Not okay. Younger, strike out one more time and I’m done with you.

I can help out with the tuition.
I can’t let you do that. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.
Will you throw that in the pool?

3.5/10

The Simpsons 28.01

This year women may audition with permission of father, husband and pastor. In wirking.
An old man is prwling the school looking for your children. Please perform for him.
Excellent villain!
Do you ever say anything in a simple way?
Shut up.
Well, that was clear.
Thanks a lot, Lisa. we were getting out of school for this.
You’re telling me that really happened?
They looked just like us, didn’t they?

5/10

The Simpsons 28.02

Such a funny episode, and it got a little nasty at the end too.

You’ll never have this.
Cheap piece of plastic with photos of ugly people?
Maggie talk. No one listen? Maggie never talk again.
I think I remember what happened, Marge.
How could you remember, you were on your phone half the time.
If you can afford good Wifi, you use it.
Oh look, it’s the ugly people from the cube!
Stoned at a funeral.
When did salad get so awful?
Kale ruined everything.
I have a bike too, I keep a lock on it.
I have no interest ain riding your bike.

8/10

The Simpsons 28.03

The dog before me?!
I knew I didn’t pay this month’s mortgage for a reason.

2/10

The Good Place 1.01

Or the only show this season that I actually like. Even though it’s weak and stupid half the time, it’s still good enough for a comedy, and this was a fine trailer.

Relax. Everything’s fine.
Every religion uessed about 5%.
There’s a good place and a bad place. You’re in the good place.
Sponsored by two otters holding hands while they sleep.
I can only play you an audio clip of what’s happening there right now.
I spent half of my life fighting for women rights  and the other half of my life fighting for gay rights.
And he said, you can’t give me both of your kidneys. You’ll die.
But you will live. And I know we only just met on this bus 10 minutes ago, but you seem nice.
What a condensatong bench. Whay does she still have that British accent? No one here has an accent.
I just need to go steal some gold stuff.

8/10

The Good Place 1.02

Much worse than the pilot, still interesting enough.

What kind of pornography would you like to access?
Where am I from?
Is it racist if I say Africa?
Senso…dyne?
That’s a brand of toothpaste.
Have you seen my dog?
Imagine something that brings you joy.
People poking on rollercoasters.
You don’t belong here.

3/10

The Good Place 1.03

Welcome to the neighborhood. Even though we all got here at the same time.
Here’s some dirt I put in a bag, because I’m amazing.
Fun fact, Columbus is in the Bad Place, because of all the raping, slave trade and genocide.
I’m not supposed to be here too.

2.5/10

The Good Place 1.04

And it’s still getting worse.

Your favorite meal was the hunger strike you went on to protest Boliwian sex trafficking.
Tofu?
Be quiet and eat your white sponge.

1/10

The Good Place 1.05

Oh god, now it’s terrible.

It somehow tastes how I felt when my cellphone was fully charged. So relaxed.
Screw all the other complicated theories, why didn;t you start with this one?

1/10