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The Middle 8.23. The Goldbergs 4.24. Riverdale 1.13. Scandal 6.14. Scandal 6.15. Scandal 6.16. This is Us 1.16. This is Us 1.17. The Simpsons 28.19. Hollywood Darlings 1.05. Hollywood Darlings 1.06. The Good Fight 1.06

23 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by Joanne in hollywood darlings, riverdale, scandal, the goldbergs, the good fight, the middle, the simpsons, this is us, tv series

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I cannot believe Linda from HR with Lauren Graham and The Get with Amy Brenneman both have not been picked up. Fox and CBS went with shitty shows with actors no one knows. Those two would have sold perfectly. This means this fall I will only start Navy Seals with David Boreanaz and The Good Doctor with Emily VanCamp. That clearly does not feel like enough, considering how many shows we’ve lost.

The Middle 8.23

Neil really does look like Henry Fonda. I’m disappoinedin myself for not figuring it out earlier.

You’re like a young Henry Fonda.
They’re lawyering up.
If you know the owner of this car, please call the police.
That is so freaking Henry Fonda.
Clearly your parents raised your rain.

5/10

The Goldbergs 4.24

Flashback to Barry and Lanie made me tear up.

Extra point from me for Barry eating Hubba Bubba.
Holy crap, she’s the one who keyed Drew’s car.
I promise swwtie, your boobies will grow just like the rest of you.
Stop crying. I can’t have the kids say stupid things.
You’ve raised an amazing young woman, Beverly Goldberg.
God, so much has changed since then.

10/10

Riverdale 1.13

Life is not an Agatha Christie novel. It’s a lot messier.
Something wicked this way comes.
The next day I went away and 5 months later your brother was born.
How old would he be?
Mid 20s?
People will look at this as the exact moment that last bit of Riverdale’s innocence finally died. And darkness won. Marked by an act of violence. It was anything but random. Imagine this instant, frozen in time.

10/10

Scandal 6.14

Is this a human head?
When did you stop gladiating?
Just because Olivia trade in her white hat, doesn’t mean we have to stop gladiating.
Quinn, this is your office now.

7/10

Scandal 6.15

She’s gonna assasinate Mellie.
B613, You need to reinstate it.

8/10

Scandal 6.16

Raise your hand if you’ve killed a vice president before.
The bullet and the pills.
Call me when she’s dead.
I’m reconstructing B613 and will run it myself.

9/10

This is Us 1.16

One of the best episodes this season, and they are all hard to beat.

You two sure are adorable.
We know.
Kate has his ashes.
Take me to meet your father.
Thank you for doing what I couldn’t. For raising him to be the man he is today.
I’d like to have heard that laugh. I’d like to have met my son’s father.
Here’s your brick, sorry and God bless you.
He looks like you.
Really.
I was ashamed of what I ahd become.
Everybody gets a cousin!
Sorry I was raised by white people.
I have a whole other family here.
But we haven’t made the trip. We haven’t even seen the ducks.
You knew you wanted to come back.
Poems for my son.
Roll all your windows down, Randall. Crank up the music, grow out that ‘fro.
You’re okay, dad, you’re good. Just breathe, come on.

10/10

This is Us 1.17

You got white doves?
They don’t have black ones.
I don’t know Sherman, CAN you help me.
This neighboorhood will miss him.
How’s William doing? I haven’t seen him lately.
On his morning walks.
People don’t just stop to talk anymore, you know.
We became friends, he always asked about my daughter.
We’ll remember things as before William and after William.

9.5/10

The Simpsons 28.19

Lisa’s first drink ends with her telling Marge to keep her pants on.

Does full Monty have some sort of naughty double meaning.
Congratulations, professor Homer.
Keep your pants on, lady.
You’re just gonna register and stay away from playgrounds.

5.5/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.05

Holy fuck, this is the best fucking puppet show I’ve seen in my entire life.
I smell some sort of shit.

7.5/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.06

5/10

The Good Fight 1.06

They’re too busy discussing my rape.
They’re the parents of Ferris Bueller.

3.5/10

Wrote while rewatching Ned Kelly on TV.

Greys 13.23. SVU 18.17. The Middle 8.22. Scandal 6.13. Nashville 5.14

16 Friday Jun 2017

Posted by Joanne in greys anatomy, nashville, scandal, special victims unit, the middle, tv series

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Greys 12.23

Brooke!? Jo’s name is Brooke?! Is Shonda running out of name ideas, does she not remember there was an intern called Heather Brooks?! Same as with Mer’s sister Maggie and Owen’s sister Megan. It’s the same name for crying out loud! I cried when Alex said his name was Alex Stevens, as in Izzie Stevens! And when Amelia spoke with Teddy! I was upset they didn’t show her, but Kim Raver is coming back! For an episode or 2, most likely the first 2 of the 14th season.

Mayor Hunt.
They said that she’s alive.
They found her in the basment.
Ask for Dr. Teddy Altman.
She said that she tried to call you.
Owen, Teddy knows her. Teddy saw her.
I went on with my life. For alost 10 years. I stoped looking, I gave up. I gave up on her.
He made me drive to the woods. He wanted to rape me.
Stephanie’s with him.
Because a rapist’s in the hospital.
I left her in the room with him.

SVU 18.17

We all felt sick when they attacked Liv and Amanda’s children.

I’m number 622 on the list. I didn’t get the perfect score.
Both are fatherless babies of unknown origin.
Arrest that son of a bitch who ran that thing.
He make us do the sex.
We come to America for work, not the sex.
What kind of jobs did they think they would get in America?
Nannies.

10/10

The Middle 8.22

Sue summed up this year, with exactly what we were thinking. The last two years were uneventful, and I miss the high school years every day. Remember when sue had no chill and couldn’t make anything of herself and she was always cheerful? Yes, those where the days.

This year I look back and it just feels like the year was kind of ‘Meh’.
Frankie, why are we getting HBO?
I wonder if we’re getting Hallmark movies!
Cindy just came back from her doctor, he believes she stopped growing!
The universe is confusing us with the Donaghues!
Whenever had 3 ggoo things happened to us on one day?
Or one?
My name is Sue Heck, class of 2015.
Sorry humiliation, you’ve been postponed to a later date.

7/10

Scandal 6.13

I really wished Scandal would go all Seven on us and deliver someone’s head, but they opted out last minute. The box plot was intriguing nonetheless.

Drones. 9 drones.
There’s been an explosion in Dallas.
35 Americans dead.
Sir, the drones are moving.
The Philadephia drone detonated.
I don’t get it, is the box empty?
A brick Why woud Payes send my father a brick?
It’s the weight. Every box weighed 11 Ibs.
And your sex Scandal.
No one has ever broken you.
A severed head weighes from 9lbs to 11 lbs.
That head would be Olivia’s.
I could speak 8 languages.
Olivia is what you’re best at. She’s your republic. She’s your legacy.

10/10

Nashville 5.14

Let’s be honest Nashville post Rayna is no good.I’m happy when they sing, but the storylines are predictable and lack essence. This week, there I was thinking Maddie has actually made it and they went with the obvious storyline of everyone wanting to know how will she fit into her mother’s shoes.

I don’t want  to be stuck behind Miranda and Carrie and Kelsey I need a hit!
She’s back!
Bucky, thank you for everything.
They’re playing my song on the radio!!
That’s the best we can do?!
And we’ve never even had sex.

3/10

Greys 13.22. The Goldbergs 4.23. Nashville 5.13. Riverdale 1.12. Pretty Little Liars 7.14. Pretty Little Liars 7.18. Girlboss 1.01. Hollywood Darlings 1.04. Modern Family 8.20. Modern Family 8.21. F is For Family 2.08. F is For Family 2.09. F is For Family 2.10

07 Wednesday Jun 2017

Posted by Joanne in f is for family, greys anatomy, hollywood darlings, modern family, nashville, pretty little liars, riverdale, the goldbergs, tv series

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Greys 13.22

Meredith giving away the tumor Derek drew for her so she can fuck her boyfriend in peace is appaling, and I like those two together. Parents don’t want their kid to have surgery because of their strong faith in God. Stephanie gets suspended for throwing a tablet at the dad.

As someone who’s been around a lot of death and been left behind by it, I can tell you, trust me, you don’t want that.
You can go to jail again.
I can go to jail for this.
Don’t let it hold you back. No more sitting here and waiting. Grab your new life by the hand and go out there and live it. Change is good.

8.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.23

Is it Jane Fonda?
It’s from Gremlins.

6/10

Nashville 5.13

How did Deacon not think Maddie self harmed?! All the freaking songs this episode! Absolutely spectacular! Maddie’s reendition of the Daria theme! Avery’s song ! And the Exes too! The homeless girl crying at the photo of Rayna with her Deacon and the girls!

I feel so alone,  keep heading home!
Or the foster drunks who never understood no means no.
Cause you’re coming home with me.
I love you even when I don’t.
Where’s your real dad?
In jail.
What about your mom?
She died.
Do you mind me asking how old are you?
15.
You can stay.
I’ll be fine.
Just know I’ll be there.
I’m on my way.

6.5/10

Riverdale 1.12

This is the episode where Madchen reinvented herself! She was absolutely fabulous in it! I am ready for Twin Peaks return. Shelly was my favorite in the original one. The scene where theCoopers walzed in was my second favorite this season.

I’m a Blossom?!
Which makes her and Jason relatives by blood.
Don’t bother calling the cops, we’re not staying.
Sorry to disturb the witching hourat Thornehill.
She chose to live here remember, with the mentally stable family.
Oh I know all about your family, Penelope and the incest.
Nothing could be more purely Blossom than those babies.
Enough of this Dr Moreau experimentation in breeding and eugenics! It’s over!
There it is. Maybe syrup. Drown in it, why don’t you!
Nancy Drew strikes again.
You did a bad thing daddy, and now everyone knows.
And then the unthinkable happened.

10/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.14

Lucas is definitely A.D. He has always been a stalker, and I have been suspicious of him since season two or something. The song Devil Devil by Milck is so freaking good.

Luke, Lucas maybe.
You know him?
You’re sitting on his couch.
I remember the procedure.
I want to cancel my appointment.
No one can know how ciolated and used you must feel.
It’s supposed to kand on Aria!

10/10

Pretty Little Liars 7.18

It pissed me off when Hanna said ‘Childhood’ teddy bear, that’s why I hate season 7 so much, they all think they’re so grown up and shit. How many times do I have to say this! Alison is not gay and never will be!

I think she’s on the A.D. team.
I just received proof that yu were not in town at the time of the murder.
I’ll tell you what we should do.
Why didn’t we do that earlier?
I hope you enjoyed the game, Aria. I know I have.
It’s Mona, signal is coming from inside the apartment.

4/10

Girlboss 1.01

Crying because of work, relatable. The thing she did where she lied to the person on the phone saying there was an ambulance passing by, so she could cry was incredible. So was the scene where she tried to push her car up the road on a gorgeous San Francisco street? Incredible! I just realizedthis year we got 3 shows based in San Francisco, Girlboss, When We Rise and Fuller House of course.

How old are you?
23.
Did I eat her sandwich? Yeah.
Can you hold on a second, there’s an ambulance next to me.
Bring on adulthood, motherfucker.

6.5/10

Hollywood Darlings 1.04

Who the fuck complained?!
I’ve been around the block enough to know when someone’s about to fuck me up.
We’ll give you 40% discount.

3.5/10

Modern Family 8.20

Why the hell did they think it’s appropriate for Lily to have a bra at 9 years old?

I like his energy. He doesn’t have any.
Hey where do I park?
Between two lines.
My make-up was not insured.

5.5/10

Modern Family 8.21

5/10

F is for Family 2.08

I was moved by the co-pilot story about putting off your future because of an obstacle. Since that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 4 yeavrs.

Ass-eater.

2/10

F is For Family 2.09

Mom, dad, ar you fighting?
Yes!

1/10

F is For Family  2.10

Man I hope it’s lesbian stuff.
She was hotter than a car seat in August.
Fuck you.
What are you doing here?
Fucking up my life.
Frank what the fuck?

3/10

 

Greys 18.13. Bones 12.10. SVU 18.13. The Middle 8.18. The Goldbergs 4.19. The Goldbergs 4.20. Switched at Birth 5.07. Riverdale 1.08. American Crime 3.01. American Crime 3.02. American Crime 3.03

26 Wednesday Apr 2017

Posted by Joanne in american crime, bones, greys anatomy, riverdale, special victims unit, switched at birth, the goldbergs, the middle, tv series

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Where the hell is my SVU renewal? I still have Grace and Frankie, When Calls the Heart and American Crime to catch up on and Girlboss, Feud and When we Rise to start. I won’t watch anymore The Good Fight till June, same with Transparent.

Greys 13.18

Ellen Pompeo’s directing debut. Every time they mention Ellis Grey it makes my week. Maggie’s mom dies after Maggie pushes he too much. Richard met Maggie’s dad.

Tell Meredith not to what? Drink too much? Fall in love? She never finished that thought.
I’m really glad she found you.
Meredith, darling, you’re fired.
I’d like to pay my respect you Ellis. Where is she burried?
I love my mother enough not to say screw it and throw her down a damn drain.
She is a happy person, she’s cheerful, this will give her darkness.
I think about my mother’s not all the time.
Ellis never forgave me.
Tell Meredith not to be afraid.
Goodbye, mom.

7/10

Bones 12.10

Bud Bundy guest stars. Betty White is back and no longer an anthropologist. I was shocked when Brennan told Wendell he clearly doesn’t like being an anthropologist, considering he’s been here since season 5.

He played Bud Bundy on married with children for like 10 years. I love that show!
Sounds like Bud Bundy just threatened our victim.
Most people don’t love their jobs, they don’t even like them.
Please, Agent Andy, this needs to stay between the two of us.
I’ve never even been to Los Angeles.
You’re gonna love it. It’s a place of schemes and dreams and pros and cons, all about the show.
I couldn’t breathe if I didn’t do this anymore. I was so excited to write my dissertation because I loved what I was doing, and I couldn’t wait to keep learning.
You’re too smart to waste your life away on something that your heart isn’t in.
I like my job, but compared with you and the other interns.
There’s something bigger out there, you need to go after it while you still can.
You guys are like my family here.
That will not change.

7/10

SVU 18.13

Just a reminder that Olivia and her adopted son Noah are both children of rapists. This is why SVU is the best show. They haven’t mentioned Olivia being a child of rape since season 15 and it may have been a boring episode, but at least Olivia mentioned being a child of rape. Olivia spent the entire episode talking how there’s no such thing as rape gene, and then she clearly was concerned about Noah turning to one.

He said that he was born to be a rapist.
No, it’s not real and it’s ridiculous.
I did it okay, I raped her I was born this way. I was born to be a rapist.
You obviously didn’t tell Carissi about your father.
Did you turn into your father?
It repulses you, because you’re not a rapist.
My father was a rapist.
I’ll love you no matter what.

4/10

The Middle 8.18

Remember how exceptional the first 6 seasons were? Absolutely fantastic, this season? Not at all. At least Axl and Lexie hooked up. And the phone cracking was relevant. People crack their screens all the time.

Is this college or nursery home?
And then you were a teenager and you were just as delightful.

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.19

Prom was not even half as good as I expected.

The real Jackie.

1/10

The Goldbergs 4.20

What is happening to this show, this was boring.

Greatest adventure of growing up.

2/10

Switched at Birth 5.07

I cried when Angelo said he’s proud of Bay.

I lost my biological dad the day I got switched, and then I lost him when he died, and thanks to you I just lost him again.
Ready?
I’m so proud of you.

5.5/10

Riverdale 1.08

My notes don’t explain how I gave it a 5, but I guess I enjoyed it.

Do you think you can walz in here with a bug infested trojan horse?
So you did to Poly exactly what you did to me.
A bou and a girl.

5/10

American Crime 3.01

Sandra Oh joined the cast. Are we supposed to be all in awe of this show, when it’s just a one long and much weaker SVU episode? Just like last season?

I want to arrest your pimp.
I sat here with kids your age, going through…You name it, they’re going through it.
Get them in, get them on a farm, get them working.
Don’t rush, go do your job.
Wanna hang out with me and my boyfriend?
Nah.
Go get your ass up, go do some work.
If you let me, I will do anything I can to help you.

4/10

American Crime 3.02

Lynette Scavo is the only precious one this season, and I know last season we were supposed to hate her, but I feel like thisyear, her character is going to be very likeable. The only storyline I’m not enjoying is the one with the teenage drug addict working on the farm. The storyline of a father looking for his son never gets old.

If there’s a good way to talk about exploitation.
They’re spraying pesticides while we work, cover your face or you’ll be breathing poison.
What do men do with women?
My son.
Yeah I’m pregnant.
Have you been pregnant before?
Yeah.
How did that pregnancy end?
It ended.
They were trapped inside?

4/10

American Crime 3.03

The show finally got interesting with the Raping Fields and they even went as far as opening the episode with rape. But where the fuck is Lili Taylor?

I’m asking if I can do something.
I’m pregnant again and I’m not gonna keep it.
I don’t care about the phone, I just wanted to use the camera.
Just in case.
He’s my son.
You know what they call the fields?
The Green Motel.
The bosses think they can do whatever they want to women.
They can do whatever they want, nobody cares.4/10

Goodnight Mommy. Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life. Fender Bender. Trolls. National Lampoon’s Vacation. Inside Out. Layover. A Christmas Horror Story. The Disappointments Room. Barricade. Scathing.

16 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by Joanne in Lauren Graham, movies

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Goodnight Mommy

This and The Babadook are nothing as they seem. Both advertised as horror, but in fact, psychological. Beautiful scenery, eerie and mind-blowing at times. Pay attention before the opening title and you’ll have an easy understanding of the film. Ideal for fans of psychological thrillers, horrors or foreign cinema.

7/10

Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life

‘The Worst Years of My Life’ is a film about an artsy and rebellious teenager Rafe based on the Middle School book series by James Patterson. Yes, the same Patterson who wrote the Alex Cross series, including the phenomenal Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider! ‘Movie School’ is shockingly deep and insightful for a family film, I was nicely surprised by the ‘brother’ twist. I’m glad little Mason from Private Practice is doing well and it’s always a pleasure to see Lauren Graham. I have never read the Middle School series, but it seems to be the boy version of Jim Benton’s Dear Dumb Diary series, which I loved growing up. After you finish watching Middle School, go grab Dear Dumb Diary.

6/10

Fender Bender

A middle-aged guy purposely bumps into a teenager’s car. The girl (Makenzie Vega known for The Good Wife and The Assault) takes pictures of the damages and the guy. Her disappointed parents forbid her from going on a trip with them and leave her alone for the night. Despite the main character being an absolute moron, the storyline kept me engaged. Fender Bender takes a slightly different direction than the usual ‘forced road accident’ based horrors, as the attacker follows the character home. Why would she not be panicking about the assailant taking pictures of her in the shower and stupidly dive into a present he left for her, no one knows. It could have been such a good flick. I have described this title to my horror obsessed friends, and I recommend this title to all slasher fans.

6.5/10

trolls vacation inside-out

Trolls

Clearly aimed at an audience of 3-year-olds, who don’t need a plot to follow, just a couple of shiny, colorful, sparkly things to look at. It wasn’t clear why they remade so many classic songs instead of writing an entirely new soundtrack. Shockingly the cinema was packed when it came out, there were around 150 kids under 12 waiting with their parents in and outside the cinema, I bet 90 percent of them came out disappointed. If you’re looking for a recent animated feature worth checking out, go with Zootopia, or The Secret Life of Pets.

3/10

National Lampoon’s Vacation

‘Christmas Vacation’ was ten times better. At least this one had John Candy in it, for a couple of rollercoaster rides, but still. Uncertain how to feel about the angry dog being killed and later grandma dying, but the film as a whole was not that funny.

3/10

Inside Out

Some of the animation, particularly Joy’s character, was so bright, it was impossible to look at the screen. The film is clearly aimed at very young audience, pre-school or early school years at most. The film earned an Academy Award for best animation, which gives me hope for Zootopia, which was twice this good and the animation was ten times better.

5/10

layove  a-christmas-horror

Layover

What the hell with this poster?! This was not in the film. The movie would have been so much better if it was. For a Lifetime film, Layover wasn’t a complete disaster, even though I couldn’t stand the annoying model wannabes. Consider watching another Lauren Holly film where the film also takes place on a plane, Turbulence, instead. Was that a ride.

4/10

A Christmas Horror Story

Nicely surprised, as it was so much better than the very average 2015 Christmas horror sensation ‘Krampus’ and the ending was just perfect.

3/10

 

dissapointments-room barricade scathing

The Disappointment Room

No greater disappointment than this film. How could Wentworth Miller write the genius psychological thriller The Stoker and then such a crappy horror?

1/10

Barricade

So it wasn’t a horror? What a waste of time. And it started off pretty good, the ending though, disastrous.

1/10

Scathing

I always have faith in low-budget indie horror films, and I have myself to blame for that, but once a while those are the films that surprise us. Scathing was not that film. It was just awful. I watched this Irish horror ‘In Fear’ the same day, equally low budget and independent, very similar, yet much better. Try In Fear instead.

0.5/10

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SVU 18.07. The Middle 8.10. Nashville 5.01. The Goldbergs 4.11. Scream Queens 2.10

06 Friday Jan 2017

Posted by Joanne in Mariska Hargitay, nashville, scream queens, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the middle, tv series

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SVU 18.07

Olivia saves Carissi’s life and Tucker tells Olivia he plans to retire. SVU’s social media account sure gave us a scare with the whole Olivia retiring rumor. Boy was that a fright. For the first time since season 15 we’ve had an episode that wasn’t haunting or a bit exceptional.

It changes you for the worse, not the better.
Who are you and what have you done with Carissi? You really feel that way? The job doesn’t change you, it makes you more of who you really are.
It’s okay. It’s completely normal.
Not in a creepy way.
There’s no other way to stalk someone.
Yeah, this is detective Amanda Rollins NYPD SVU.
This is not your fault.
They’re predators. They look for light, they look fo goodness and try to steal it.
Being a cop didn’t change him. He was always bad.
Hope this does not make you want to retire.
No, the exact opposite.

7/10

The Middle 8.10

The Hecks go to an escape room and they try their best to beat the Donaghue’s high score. I rated it as 3.5, which officially makes it the weakest episode of The Middle.

We’ve finally given up.
We ate pop tarts, because we like to support American businesses.
That’s what’s great about you Hecks, you have fun no matter what!
Dreaming is just showing off while you’re asleep.
We beat the Donoghues!
What do you mean how was my day?! We beat the Donoghues! It was a great day!

3.5/10

Nashville 5.01

Juliette survives the plane crash and Rayna has PTSD after Juliette’s flying experience and decides to take a road trip back home to Nashville. We will probably never see Lyla again, and Rayna has realised that she failed as a producer, but she cannot produce her own music as she doesn’t feel she has anything left to say. It was the most wonderful 43 minutes we could ask for and I’m glad we brought the show back! I just loved how the petrol guy reacted to seeing Rayna. The heart-breaking scene between Rayna and the blind older man asking her if she sings in the shower was just ah, wonderful.

Oh sweet Jesus, there’s bodies, there’s two, three.
Fill it up m’am? Can I get your autograph miss James?
They found the plane 20 miles from here.
This was the plane Juliette Barnes was flying from Los Angeles.
Are you okay, Miss James?
I’m not recording anymore because I don’t have anything to say.
I’ve worked so hard to keep my label afloat, I forgot who I am as an artist.
You know how many times I’ve been stuck and then saved by somebody who at that moment could see stuff I couldn’t see.
How do you know the words.
I listened.
Don’t care for singing?
I sing a little bit.
Yeah, in shower?
You should let yourself sing.
Why’d you say that?

10/10

The Goldbergs 4.11

The episode revolves around pervy boys tormenting a girl about boobs and the Dead Poets Society and it’s incredible! And even though we knew that Barry would become a doctor, it was revealed it in this episode, they still pretend Murray is a furniture salesman, not a doctor, but I guess that was a successful attempt at making the show be more relatable. I almost wrote a shoe salesman, as I’ve been watching Married with Children reruns every day. We haven’t had The Goldbergs in two weeks and I’m already having withdrawals!

This movie proves that a sub is the most important person in a child’s life!
Female reproductive system. And out. Class dismissed.
I used to eat lunch at school bathroom.
In that moment I finally saw how hard it was for Emmy and I knew exactly what to do.
Growing up is an awkward adventure.
I’m your big sis, that’s what I’m here for.
Beverly Goldberg believed in you this whole time.

10/10

Scream Queens 2.10

I know season two sucked and almost no one watched it, but I still sort of want season 3. I will miss seeing Jamie Lee on the small screen. And even though I can’t stand Channel, it was nice to see Emma Roberts on a weekly basis again.

Oh my god, Channels are impossible to kill. It’s like their stupidity and narcissism is a protective shield.
Hester, you should have warned us.
Collateral damage.
Survival is about being skinny, pretty and ruthless.
Rich again.
You be you, America, cause Channel Oberlin is gonna be me.

10/10

The Middle 8.05. The Middle 8.06. How To Get Away With Murder 3.09. SVU 18.06. The Goldbergs 4.07. American Horror Story 6.10. Younger 3.06. Younger 3.07. Younger 3.08. Scream Queens 2.05. Scream Queens 2.06

10 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by Joanne in american horror story, how to get away with murder, scream queens, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the middle, tv series, younger

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how to get away with murder, htgawm, law and order special victims unit, review, reviews, scream queens, svu, the goldbergs, the middle, tv, tv series, tv show reviews, younger

Didn’t you just love season two of Fuller House?! Expect a post on it very soon. I haven’t posted for two weeks, because I have been too tired from crying over Gilmore Girls. If you want to see my review, check my previous post.

The Middle 8.05

Sue chooses a quite shocking major that made me think of Lorelai Gilmore the minute she said it. Mike beautifully explains to her she needs a good job to avoid the Heck lifestyle and Brick learns how to drive and hits the Orson cow with Axl’ RV.

Anything I should know?
The Lord’s prayer.
I am 15.
I thought you were 12.
Uh! Astronomy!
Should we be concerned about how much we hide from our kids?
Theatre Where’s the future in that?! She’s not good!
Veterinary school? That’s harder to get into than med school!
I’m thinking of adding Criminal Justice as one of my majors.
There’s no inheritance, so you need a job that pays well. You can’t just sign up for everything that looks fun.
The only reason you’re still in school is that Dad sold his half of the diaper business.
If you start digging around this yard in 5 minutes you’ll hit a report card.
I need to pick one major, so tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.
What? I’m not gonna do that.
You were never supposed to know. I just didn’t think you had to worry about that.
I don’t want you to be on the first name basis with an operator from the gas company. Even though Joyce is very nice and lets us spread the bill over three credit cards. I don’t want you to have to share a battery between two cars. I don’t want you to hope for a tornado to bring your next appliance. I’m not trying to scare you kid, but it’s hard sometimes living like we do. And what I hope for you is just that it can be different.

10/10


The Middle 8.06

The Hecks eat Nancy’s Thanksgiving food and the episode is hilarious as always.

Other people watch you like a pig, cause you got three scoops.
When Cindy doesn’t get what she wants, Brick doesn’t get what he wants. Reading time.
I didn’t recognize you in youre uniform. Thank you for your service.
No, I don’t have a middle name. Except for Rose.
She’s losing memory, so It’s important we see her.
Or you could just tell her you saw her.
I don’t like her either. Cindy said she could not get a conversation going with her, and Cindy can talk to anybody!
Because I’m responsible for you.
I never want you to stop looking out for me.
So she’s not even related?
Oh no she is to somebody, but not actually to us.
And by the way, not a good babysitte, cause she obviously dropped April on her head a few times!
Try a few hundread times!
Thank you Lord, for the Hecks. The best neighboors in the world.

8/10


How To Get Away With Murder 3.09

I was surprised to see who died. He’s the main character! Bonnie and Annalise almost hooked up and Olly knows about the night of Sam Keating’s disappearance. Police finally finds Rebecca’s body and Wes learns she was murdered.

Junk food is all I’m doing.
I wasn’t high, I was traumatised.
Traumatised from what?
Like you don’t already know.
Social services rescued me and I sescued myself.
You’re fired. Did you not hear me?
You’re the problem with the gay community.
We’re all the problem with the gay community.
Bonnie, who is it?
It’s Wes.
Middleton student identified as fire victim.

10/10


SVU 18.06

Hands down worst episode of SVU ever. They wanted to make another transgender-centred episode and they screwed it up big time, as we were presented with a extremely boring script. Read these to see the only good things about this episode.

Can’t people yse the bathroom they were born to use? Is that really so damn hard?
He thinks that because he’s in love with a transgender woman that he’s gay.
Three lives destroyed all because a woman named Eva was born a boy.
He killed a woman of your dreams.
The single just hit number one. That’s all that really matters.

3.5/10


The Goldbergs 4.07

The fourth Thanksgiving at The Goldbergs was just plain bad.

Everyone, come back! It’s fucking thanksgiving!

2/10


American Horror Story 6.10

Who wasn’t dissapointed with the Lana Winters link or camoeo? The finale to the Ranoke season. I didn’t exactly enjoy it, but the same can be said about the whole season. I hope you understand, that I could’t give it a 10.

Are you sure, it’s not me you love.
But they did die, didn’t they?
Welcome to the Lana Winters special.
You turned everyone else down. Because of you, because of who you are and what you’ve been through. I mean, Jesus. You killed your own son, Bloody Face.
I killed a psychopathic murderer before he could kill me.
Where is she, she was reported missing by her grandparents an hour before we went on the air.
She talks to much.
Sydney didn’t ask me to participate, and as it turns out, fortunately so.
Are you people crazy enough to be shooting another show here?
Lea Harris showed up in the middle of the night.
You stupid fucks, you deserve to die.
Not if Precila ddid to me what you wnat her to do to you.

9.5/10


Younger 3.06

Such a funny episode, more of them I beg of you!

My one desire is to service Charles.
We’re all beginning for more cock.
Look, Nancy Drew and leggier Nancy Drew.
It started as a writing exercise.
She’s someone in the Empirical family, we don’t want her making a relationship with another publisher.
Make the offer, we have to keep him in in the house.
That was a big safe, Liza.

6/10


Younger 3.07

As above, good episode.

It’s difficult to keep a secret, especially when you pretend to be someone else in order to be taken seriously in your profession.
It gets better.
That’s what they say to kids who are severely bullied.
He’s flirting with you through The New Yorker.

5.5/10


Younger 3.08

What a great episode, first one this season! Liza gets hit by a car while trying to return Diana’s city bike and Charles almost saw Liza’s real date of birth on her hospital wristband.

In my experience sex can be nothing and a kiss can mean a lot.
I had to buy extra storage on my Dropbox judt to open te file.
Your bike has been in an accident.
The one they gave me is wearing off. I think they didn’t account for my height.
I’m fine.
The bike is not FYI.
That should have been Becky.
Diana alerted the Empirical legal team and they alerted me.

8.5/10


Scream Queens 2.05

Funny, and overall good, everyone speaks with different accents, possibly the best this season. Why oh why did Jamie Lee say Freddy Krueger instead of Michael Myers?

For the love of God, number 5. Denise is dead could you maybe let us have two minutes that aren’t about you?
I finally  know what it felt like to be Freddy Krueger.
Hello non-doctor idiots. Sorry to interrupt your hard work cleaning bedpans, the only thing you’re qualified at any hospital on planet earth. Sorry, doctor tiny bitch.
These bed pans can wait till we find some less attractive people to clean them.
I’m pretty sure I ordered codde?
You didn’t order anything, this isn’t a restaurant.

9/10


Scream Queens 2.06

There are 3 Green Meanies!?

We’ve lost a lot of blood, so donate yours.
I’m sorry I haven’t welcomed you properly, by having sex with you.
And she’s a serial killer.
She’s a what?!

5.5/10

 

Vegan Tuck Box July 2016 Review

23 Tuesday Aug 2016

Posted by Joanne in vegan

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food, food porn, food review, healthy food, healthy snacks, peta, review, snacks, vegan, vegan food, vegan snacks, vegan tuck box, veganism, vegetarian, vegetarianism

I don’t usually post food reviews on this blog, but veganism is a big part of my life, and I decided to spice it up a little bit. I have been vegan for 6 years, and vegetarian for 7. Now that I’ve eaten all the July snacks, I wanted to share what I liked and why unlike a few other snack companys, I keep my subscription. I do understand that there is no way to fully meet someone’s snacking needs, but Vegan Tuck Box does understand my high expectations.

Vegan Tuck Box July 2016 and how much I liked the snacks

Kent Crisps Seasalt & Biddenden Cider Vinegar

Regular chips that taste like Apple and Vinegar, not the best combination. It’s bitter, duh. It took me a few days to eat it, but I guess it’s good in a way, as I couldn’t binge on it. And maybe that’s the point.

My rate: 3/10

Kintaro Almond Nut Clusters

One of the best snacks (not just vegan) that I have tasted. The minute I ate this bag, I ordered a box of 7 rice and nut clusters from the Kintaro website. After trying all of them, I do believe this one is the best, almost equally amazing one is the Strawberry Rice one. There’s also a nut one, chocolate/banana one, green tea one and a spicy one. Almond and strawberry are definitely the ones I’ll keep reordering.

10/10

YumEarth Organics Anti-OxiFruits

Delicious, vegan, sweet and 200% of daily required Vitamin C in one. If you have sensitive teeth, don’t eat more than one. I know the struggle. I gave the sweets to my parents to try and they keep asking me for more! I ended up giving them the whole bag. I am considering repurchasing them, but there is so many of them in the bag, 30, maybe? Running out will not happen any time soon.

9/10

Go Max Go White Cleos

Peanut butter covered in white chocolate! I know! Two of the most delicious guilty pleasures in one! Salty and sweet in one deal. Even new vegans know how hard it is to come across a vegan milk chocolate, let alone a white one! I bet you’re getting sick of that dark one too. The snack was a little too sweet, so I suggest you don’t eat both cookies at once.

8/10

So Sweet Couture Chocolate

It’s a shame that vegan companies forget vegans drink the very appetizing soy milk. Without it, chocolate just doesn’t taste like right. If you like orange chocolate in general, you won’t mind the not so delectable snack.

1/10

Lenny & Larry Birthday Cookie

One big soft and spongy cookie. Too big to eat it in one sitting, unless you’re really hungry.

6/10

Hoots Cheese and Onion

Yummy and yes, the cheese is vegan! It’s baked too! If you have weak teeth, try to break it in half first. If you miss cheese crisps, or cheese in general, you must get them!

7/10

Shire Snax Peppermint Patty Bar

Tastes like a mint protein bar. If you’re into minty things, go get it. My rate has nothing to do with the taste or quality of this bar, it’s just that I don’t like minty bars.

4/10

Holy Lama Spice Drops

Unnecessary, but tasty. I will continue adding it to my cereal.

5/10

Wholebake Flapjack

Like a regular flapjack, just a little drier. And too big.

7/10

Inspiral Incan BBQ Kale Chips

I am very biased on this one, as I hate kale chips and kale in general, so I can’t say anything nice about this product. I know this will affect the average rate of this month’s box, but I need to stay true to myself.

0/10

Ten Acre Strawberry and Cream Popcorn

Woah, what a treat! Both mouth-watering and sweet! Second favourite this month and a must-have!

10/10

Verdict: Subscribe!

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Welcome to ReviewThisFilm

This website started in 2010 as weekly reviews of movies and tv episodes, and a diary of the 700 new films I watched every year. Today it’s a place for me to write a few words on films and tv shows that leave some sort of impact on me. I no longer write in depth reviews, mostly thanks to bad habits gained by spending many hours a day on Letterboxd.

If you have a film you would like me to watch and review,  please leave a comment.

Enjoy!

– Joanne

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About the Author

All I do is watch movies, the good, the bad and the ugly. Sometimes I make my own.

Check out my latest film (120K+ views on Youtube):

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WP3Iz23hD7M

I’ve seen over 6000 films and 220 TV shows. I have a degree in Film Production, and wrote my dissertation on Italian neorealism. I mostly gravitate towards social issues films, anything Ken Loach, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Roberto Rossellini, Vittorio De Sica or Jafar Panahi, etc.

I rate films within genre. I watch a lot of films on Mubi, Filmbox Arthouse. My favourite directors are Yasujiro Ozu, Ken Loach, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Zhang Yimou, Roberto Rossellini, Ingmar Bergman, Brian De Palma, Vittorio De Sica and Andrzej Wajda. My favourite actresses have always been Jodie Foster, Sally Field and Julianne Moore. I’m nostalgic and reminisce a lot. I’m at the cinema 10 times a month. And I’m a Polish-British millennial.

I will watch anything:

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About me

I am the dark and twisty Meredith Grey, the mad Dexter Morgan, hoping to grow up to be a little more like the wise, but fun Nora Walker. I am an aspiring filmmaker. My favorite actresses are Jodie Foster, Sally Field and Julianne Moore. Favorite genre – psychological drama. I watch anything with a sexual or mental abuse plot. I used to be a horror freak. I am obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy, SVU and many more. My other interests include making oil and pencil portraits and wildlife conservation. I cannot say no to beautiful landscapes, travel, Aussie accent, TV/film quotes and avocados. I have recently moved back from Australia to the UK. I’ve been running this blog for the last 9 years. Here I comment on films and episodes I watch. Enjoy! – Joanne

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my twitter bios

15.04.2011 ‘You forgot the number one rule about remakes: never fuck with the original.’ (Scream 4)

01.06.2011 ‘We need to become doers.’ 2×16 ‘You’re a doer, remember?’ 5×22 (Greys)

5.08.2011 “It’s just… Meredith always makes me think screwed up people have a chance.” (Greys)

9.10.2011 ‘You be wowed, I’ll be drunk.’ (The Big C)

10.11.2011 ‘George is dead and Izzie is gone and we’re all different. We’re different.’ (Greys)

17.12.2011 ‘I thought I was headed in the right direction. My Dark Passenger back behind the wheel. But if I was so sure I knew where I was going…How did I get so lost?’ (Dexter)

23.01.2012 ‘You’re drowning, Grey.’ (Greys)

18.11.2012 ‘You’re a serial killer and I’m more fucked up than you are.’ (Dexter)

7.05.2013 ‘I think my antidepressants just kicked in.’ (The Big C)

10.05.2015 ‘The sad widow is my friend. My best friend.’ (Greys)

My tumblr titles

10.10.10 – ‘Like I said, I’m screwed.’ (Greys)

15.04.11 – ‘It’s just a good story.’ (Greys)

22.06.11 – ‘I should have fought for you, Violet.’ (Private Practice)

20.12.11 – ‘I am a father, a son, a serial killer.’ (Dexter)

8.08.12 – ‘You have to pick the girl who lives.’ (The Big C)

5.10.12 – ‘You are my person. You will always be my person.’ (Greys)

10.11.12 – ‘Thirty second dance party. Dance or you’re fired.’ (Greys)

19.02.13 – ‘There’s nowhere on Earth I’d rather be right now.’ (Castle)

29.07.13 – ‘The family that kills together.’ (Dexter)

15.01.15 – ‘Let’s go home.’ (Parenthood)

20.05.2015 – ‘The sad widow is my friend, my best friend.’ (Greys)

Calendar

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favourite film and tv quotes

‘When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one Abba song. That’s because my life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.’ (Muriel’s Wedding)

‘I used to think about
your life in New York. I tried to imagine your room. I kept track of the time difference, so I  knew when you were awake and when you were asleep.’ (Disobedience)

‘Nothing’s clean, Howard. But we do our best, right?’ (The Aviator)

‘No, I’m not quitting. I don’t quit things.’
‘No, actually you do. Your mother quit your father. Your father quit you. You quit your boyfriend and if I read your hospital chart correctly you quit your life momentarily on a couple of occasions. You quit. It’s what you know how to do.’ (Greys)

‘Where the hell was I that year?’
‘Your were watching television’. (Everybody Loves Raymond)

‘It’s impossible to worry about anything else when there’s blood coming out of you.’
(Short Term 12)

‘I wanted it to happen. And when we were girls… Even then, it was the same. It’s always been this way! I have always wanted it.’ (Disobedience)

‘Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes you play games in your head. You make up someone, someone good.’ (Greys)

‘There comes a moment when our lives change forever. The moment we admit our weaknesses, the moment we rise to a challenge, the moment we accept a sacrifice, or let a loved one go. And sometimes the change in our lives is an answer to our prayers.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Yesterday I went to the movies all day by myself. One after the other. I’ve never done that before. I had a really happy day.’ (Doing Time for Patsy Cline)

‘I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed a feel like I might die today.’ (Greys)

‘She saved me my whole life. Without her, I’m nothing.’ (The Favourite)

‘Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t. In face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that make us hold it together.’  (Greys)

‘Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five miutes, but her husband never knew, because when Bree finally emerged, she was perfect.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘I am not food, you cannot just eat and eat.’ (The Favourite)

‘I don’t love him.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘No!’
‘Don’t take me for a fool Olive,  I’m many things but I’m not a fool.’
‘I know that, you’re brilliant.’
‘Don’t you see, it’s over. Whatever this is, was, it’s over.’
‘I love You.’ (Professor Marston and the Wonder Women)

‘At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing, is reason enough to celebrate.’ (Greys)

‘Many years ago, a neighbour and a good friend of ours took her life, and that left us all heartbroken and perplexed. But somehow, when I was alone in that hotel room, I forget about all the pain that she caused. In those awful moments, I thought maybe she had the answer.‘ (Desperate Housewives)

‘What happened last year when you fell in the water?’
‘I almost drowned. Do you think I did that for kicks?’
‘You put your hand in a body cavity that contained unexploded ammunition.’
‘I was trying to save a patient!’
‘Why is it that every other person in that room had the sense to hit the deck? You know people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other. You’re careless with your life. You’re not slitting your wrists but you’re careless. Probably because your mother told you you were a waste of space on this planet. The problem is you believed her. And if you don’t want out one of these days you’re going to die because of it.’  (Greys)

‘This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life. I met them the day they moved in. And I saw what they brought with them. Beautiful dreams for the future. And quiet hopes for a better life. Not just for themselves, but for their children, too. If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trick is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn’t see coming, but that’s really the point. Don’t you think?’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Was your life not working when you let that slip out from under you?’
‘When are you going to stop suggesting that I’m suicidal?’
‘When you start acting like someone that wants to be alive.’
‘Give me my chart.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not suicidal, and if it says that I am, then it’s wrong.’ (Greys)

‘There is nothing wrong with me.’
‘Then show me your arm.’ (Degrassi)

‘Look, my whole life, I have been the freak. The girl who nobody picked for dodgeball. The girl who didn’t have a mom. The girl who dressed funny because it was her dad buying her clothes. And then, tonight I looked at these people, and I thought maybe there’s a future where I don’t have to be a freak. Maybe I can be who I am and that’s okay.’ (Everything Sucks)

‘Dr, I have been this way since…since I can remember. There is no cure.’ (American Horror Story)

‘He was so crazy about me, I couldn’t breathe. So we tried drinking our way back into love, but it never made sense in the morning. So I ran. And every time I came back, he was here. And he was still crazy about me.’ (My Blueberry Nights)

‘Bree van de Kamp had always wanted to live her life with elegance and grace. That is also how she wanted to die. Her plan was to pour herself a glass of her favorite chardonnay, put on her most stylish nightgown and leave behind a note on embossed stationery.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘All we have is this moment. The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So be… here…. now.’ (Six Feet Under)

‘On the train coming here, we were in the same cart, I saw you, you were reading and you feel asleep. I didn’t dare to look at you, you were so beautiful, it was scary. Afterwards,  I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It made me smile. Then I thought of all the men who would get to hold you, who’d make you laugh. How lucky they were.’ (Enemy at the Gates)

‘It was a good day. Maybe even a great day. Even when it was hard, I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought I cant do this, I cant do this alone. I close my eyes and imagine myself doing it, and I did, I blocked out the fear, and I did it.’ (Greys)

‘There comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no longer remain private, when our solitude can no longer be denied, when our pain can no longer be ignored, but sometimes we feel so alone that a weakness we thought we’d overcome suddenly becomes too strong to fight.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Why did you get married, Esti? Why didn’t you just leave? So everything was all right when I left?’
‘No. I was ill.’
‘What sort of ill?’
‘In my head.’
‘If I had to sleep with a man, why not with our best friend?’
‘Oh, Esti…’
‘It hasn’t been a complete disaster.’
‘And that’s enough?! Do you have to have sex every Friday?’
‘It’s expected.’
‘It’s medieval. What happened to you?’
‘Nothing. You happened to me. And then I started teaching and that became important. I give them ambition.’
‘To do what? Push out seven babies and be a good wife?’
‘Don’t. Don’t. I help them to value themselves.’
‘Okay, but what about you?’
‘That is me. And you? Are you happy?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Have you been with other women?’
‘No. Not really. And you?’
‘No.’
‘But, Esti… Do you still
only fancy women?’ (Disobedience)

‘OK, then, listen. Let’s not get caught.’
‘What are you talkin’ about?’
‘Let’s keep goin’!’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘Go.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah. Yeah.’ (Thelma & Louise)

‘She let me live at Nora’s house. She let me believe that I was a part of their family. I fell in love with that family. What am I supposed to do, just sit there, pretend I’m related to them? I was happy. For the first time in my life I was happy.’ (Brothers and Sisters)

‘You will be left all alone with your bitterness and your rage and your knowledge that you loved her and she loved you and you threw it away for them.’
‘Do you love her?’
‘Yes.’
‘And Have you always?’
‘Yes.’
‘So then ask her.’
‘Olive, will you forgive me?’ (Professor Marston and the Wonder Women)

‘No razors, no scissors, no fucking freedom.’
(Short Term 12)

‘You can’t take a picture of this. It’s already gone.’ (Six Feet Under)

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