Tag Archives: the goldbergs

This Is Us 1.01. The Goldbergs 4.08. Younger 3.09. Younger 3.10. The Simpsons 28.08. Divorce 1.07. Divorce 1.08. Divorce 1.09

11 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by in divorce, the goldbergs, the simpsons, this is us, tv series, younger

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This is Us 1.01

I have found my new Parenthood! Woah what a great show! I cried through most of it, just like during Parenthood! It’s beautiful and I was nicely surprised with how the three storylines are connected! It’s the best show this Fall.

Average human being shares their birthday with 18 mln other human beings.
Do not dare eat this cake before your party, Kate. Love, Kate.
Seriously, what is wrong with you?
This is a low point.
How did I get here? How the hell did I get here? I had this whole dream life that I have imagined for myself. A real career. Look at me, Kev. I ate my dream life away.
Tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Tell me to lose the damn weight!
Lose the damn weight.
I’m gonna lose the damn weight.
You want to be fat friends?
Sure, but I’m gonna lose the damn weight.
I can’t fall for a fat person right now.
I’ll lose the weight then.
You want to meet your grandchildren?
I have a thing for Sally Field.
I am 36 and this is not a very pretty picture.
This is the funny fat guy from fat class?
Yes, I am and it’s a support group.
We lost the third baby, I’m very sorry. He was stillborn. There was nothing anyone could have done.
You have two beautiful healthy children. A boy and a girl, but we did lose the third child.
Which one is yours?
None of them, someone left a newborn in my fire station.

10/10

The Goldbergs 4.08

Beverly becomes Erica’s Home Economic sub teacher and Adam gets one of the leads in Phantom of the Opera.

I don’t follow.
Neither do I, I lead.
She’s been scraping and couponing just to save enough money for you to go to any college you chose.

5.5/10

Younger 3.09

What is happening to this show, this season is awful.

I’ve never bought a bathing suit from a vending machine.

1.5/10

Younger 3.10

Oh sweet lord, so it CAN get even worse?! Point for the pregnancy dilemma.

0.5/10

The Simpsons 28.08

What is this chore monkey app and where can I get it?!

Isn’t it a little sexist to expect me to do all the carpeting?
You are finishED.
You should use the Chore Monkey app. People do all your chores and you’re free to follow your dreams.
This is the beginning of an unhealthy dependence.
I wouldn’t say it was a hostage situation.
I bet you wish you were back in your kitchen.
I am in my kitchen.
Then life is good. Am I right?
For you, I’ll get one without a criminal record.
You made that for me?
No, used to be OJ’s. Yeah, little Juice!
He calls my buttocks, ass.

7.5/10

Divorce 1.07

A family member taking out loans was very relatable, all of it.

What was that about every morning, the giggles, the big smiles, and the hi Robets, the extra shots, the obvious bent over to pick up a dime that you’ve dropped for my benefit.
He has left you both deep in debt.
He also took out some loans.
He remorgaged your house and then he took more loans.
I don’t deserve this.
You purches a two bedroom that was a siht of a triple homicide, yes or no, Rbert?
It’s the fact that you gambled your kids future!

5/10

Divorce 1.08

One good enough episode and we’re back to this? Sarah rolling her eyes as Robert saiid every day is special with his kids. The show reminds me of SDwx and the City not because of Sarah Jessica Parker, but because of all the sex references.

She’s a slut, drinking water cause she’s so thirsty from all the good fucking she’s gotten.
As a French men would do.

2/10

Divorce 1.09

Roberts is served with divorce papers at his daughter’s game.

There’s only ne guy here who doesn’t look like he cries when he comes.
We’re all sitting here with dicks in our hands.
You condensating fuck.
You dirty puta.

3.5/10

The Middle 8.05. The Middle 8.06. How To Get Away With Murder 3.09. SVU 18.06. The Goldbergs 4.07. American Horror Story 6.10. Younger 3.06. Younger 3.07. Younger 3.08. Scream Queens 2.05. Scream Queens 2.06

10 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by in american horror story, how to get away with murder, scream queens, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the middle, tv series, younger

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Didn’t you just love season two of Fuller House?! Expect a post on it very soon. I haven’t posted for two weeks, because I have been too tired from crying over Gilmore Girls. If you want to see my review, check my previous post.

The Middle 8.05

Sue chooses a quite shocking major that made me think of Lorelai Gilmore the minute she said it. Mike beautifully explains to her she needs a good job to avoid the Heck lifestyle and Brick learns how to drive and hits the Orson cow with Axl’ RV.

Anything I should know?
The Lord’s prayer.
I am 15.
I thought you were 12.
Uh! Astronomy!
Should we be concerned about how much we hide from our kids?
Theatre Where’s the future in that?! She’s not good!
Veterinary school? That’s harder to get into than med school!
I’m thinking of adding Criminal Justice as one of my majors.
There’s no inheritance, so you need a job that pays well. You can’t just sign up for everything that looks fun.
The only reason you’re still in school is that Dad sold his half of the diaper business.
If you start digging around this yard in 5 minutes you’ll hit a report card.
I need to pick one major, so tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.
What? I’m not gonna do that.
You were never supposed to know. I just didn’t think you had to worry about that.
I don’t want you to be on the first name basis with an operator from the gas company. Even though Joyce is very nice and lets us spread the bill over three credit cards. I don’t want you to have to share a battery between two cars. I don’t want you to hope for a tornado to bring your next appliance. I’m not trying to scare you kid, but it’s hard sometimes living like we do. And what I hope for you is just that it can be different.

10/10

The Middle 8.06

The Hecks eat Nancy’s Thanksgiving food and the episode is hilarious as always.

Other people watch you like a pig, cause you got three scoops.
When Cindy doesn’t get what she wants, Brick doesn’t get what he wants. Reading time.
I didn’t recognize you in youre uniform. Thank you for your service.
No, I don’t have a middle name. Except for Rose.
She’s losing memory, so It’s important we see her.
Or you could just tell her you saw her.
I don’t like her either. Cindy said she could not get a conversation going with her, and Cindy can talk to anybody!
Because I’m responsible for you.
I never want you to stop looking out for me.
So she’s not even related?
Oh no she is to somebody, but not actually to us.
And by the way, not a good babysitte, cause she obviously dropped April on her head a few times!
Try a few hundread times!
Thank you Lord, for the Hecks. The best neighboors in the world.

8/10

How To Get Away With Murder 3.09

I was surprised to see who died. He’s the main character! Bonnie and Annalise almost hooked up and Olly knows about the night of Sam Keating’s disappearance. Police finally finds Rebecca’s body and Wes learns she was murdered.

Junk food is all I’m doing.
I wasn’t high, I was traumatised.
Traumatised from what?
Like you don’t already know.
Social services rescued me and I sescued myself.
You’re fired. Did you not hear me?
You’re the problem with the gay community.
We’re all the problem with the gay community.
Bonnie, who is it?
It’s Wes.
Middleton student identified as fire victim.

10/10

SVU 18.06

Hands down worst episode of SVU ever. They wanted to make another transgender-centred episode and they screwed it up big time, as we were presented with a extremely boring script. Read these to see the only good things about this episode.

Can’t people yse the bathroom they were born to use? Is that really so damn hard?
He thinks that because he’s in love with a transgender woman that he’s gay.
Three lives destroyed all because a woman named Eva was born a boy.
He killed a woman of your dreams.
The single just hit number one. That’s all that really matters.

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.07

The fourth Thanksgiving at The Goldbergs was just plain bad.

Everyone, come back! It’s fucking thanksgiving!

2/10

American Horror Story 6.10

Who wasn’t dissapointed with the Lana Winters link or camoeo? The finale to the Ranoke season. I didn’t exactly enjoy it, but the same can be said about the whole season. I hope you understand, that I could’t give it a 10.

Are you sure, it’s not me you love.
But they did die, didn’t they?
Welcome to the Lana Winters special.
You turned everyone else down. Because of you, because of who you are and what you’ve been through. I mean, Jesus. You killed your own son, Bloody Face.
I killed a psychopathic murderer before he could kill me.
Where is she, she was reported missing by her grandparents an hour before we went on the air.
She talks to much.
Sydney didn’t ask me to participate, and as it turns out, fortunately so.
Are you people crazy enough to be shooting another show here?
Lea Harris showed up in the middle of the night.
You stupid fucks, you deserve to die.
Not if Precila ddid to me what you wnat her to do to you.

9.5/10

Younger 3.06

Such a funny episode, more of them I beg of you!

My one desire is to service Charles.
We’re all beginning for more cock.
Look, Nancy Drew and leggier Nancy Drew.
It started as a writing exercise.
She’s someone in the Empirical family, we don’t want her making a relationship with another publisher.
Make the offer, we have to keep him in in the house.
That was a big safe, Liza.

6/10

Younger 3.07

As above, good episode.

It’s difficult to keep a secret, especially when you pretend to be someone else in order to be taken seriously in your profession.
It gets better.
That’s what they say to kids who are severely bullied.
He’s flirting with you through The New Yorker.

5.5/10

Younger 3.08

What a great episode, first one this season! Liza gets hit by a car while trying to return Diana’s city bike and Charles almost saw Liza’s real date of birth on her hospital wristband.

In my experience sex can be nothing and a kiss can mean a lot.
I had to buy extra storage on my Dropbox judt to open te file.
Your bike has been in an accident.
The one they gave me is wearing off. I think they didn’t account for my height.
I’m fine.
The bike is not FYI.
That should have been Becky.
Diana alerted the Empirical legal team and they alerted me.

8.5/10

Scream Queens 2.05

Funny, and overall good, everyone speaks with different accents, possibly the best this season. Why oh why did Jamie Lee say Freddy Krueger instead of Michael Myers?

For the love of God, number 5. Denise is dead could you maybe let us have two minutes that aren’t about you?
I finally  know what it felt like to be Freddy Krueger.
Hello non-doctor idiots. Sorry to interrupt your hard work cleaning bedpans, the only thing you’re qualified at any hospital on planet earth. Sorry, doctor tiny bitch.
These bed pans can wait till we find some less attractive people to clean them.
I’m pretty sure I ordered codde?
You didn’t order anything, this isn’t a restaurant.

9/10

Scream Queens 2.06

There are 3 Green Meanies!?

We’ve lost a lot of blood, so donate yours.
I’m sorry I haven’t welcomed you properly, by having sex with you.
And she’s a serial killer.
She’s a what?!

5.5/10

 

The Middle 8.04. Shameless 7.04. How to Get Away with Murder 3.06. The Goldbergs 4.06

12 Saturday Nov 2016

Posted by in how to get away with murder, shameless, the goldbergs, the middle, tv series

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Quick, tiny post, in between flu medicine. I’ve decided not to continue watching Secrets and Lies, I only watched the opening episode of this season. I really started having mixed feelings for The Good Place after the main character was supposed to get sent back as the ‘hell people’ were extremely annoying. I’m still not sure about Divorce either. Come back tomorrow for a detailed post on that one-scene theatrical Greys, that quite shocking new AHS and many others.

The Middle 8.04

Frankie buys underwear that reads ‘I’d hit that’ after which she admits she’s been an inactive member of a local gym for 22 years. Oh man, I get that. While everyone is snapchatting from their gyms, I sit at home and try to cool off after an annoying second job I just took. I had to cut my hours in my old one, and that part time job feels like a full time, because it’s physically wrenching and I haven’t had the energy to go to the gym since September. Sure, I also moved much further away, and paying 10.99 just didn’t seem like a good idea. Back to the show, Frankie falls on the treadmill and everyone sees her ‘I’d hit that’ underwear. Troy gets on the football team, because he’s big. I don’t know how is it legal for Sue and Lexie to get that dorm room. It has to be a Health and Safety violation and the girls should have sued the school. I know most college rooms are shitty, but not that shitty. Speaking of Sue, a pizza delivery guy pronounces her names as ‘Hack’ instead of Heck. Meanwhile, Brick realizes how hard it is to pretend to be a social guy and actually have a high school experience. Let me tell you, I was exactly like Brick when I was in junior high and high school, sure I had better social skills than Brick, but It all seemed like a ton of work. No one was as into TV shows and good films as I was and to be honest, I do have two friends from those years and all the new people interested in TV and cinema I’ve met didn’t exactly ‘stay’ in my life, if you know what I mean. Even though film was my major, all the friendships ended after university. I guess it’s true what they say, we do meet our best friends in high school. And that though is scary. I guess the lesson here is try to be sociable, I know it seems like a waste of time and you don’t want to inhale all that smoke fumes, but maybe all those sociable folks are onto something. And you are definitely left out.

Woah, what a pit.
Who me?
What’s your name?
Brick Heck.
Again, not you.
I’d hit that.
If you need reading glasses to see the underwear you should probably just go straight to diapers.
Fine, right down the sport words, I’ll try to ask.
You should come.
Should I have my parents call his parents?
I don’t think high school works that way.
I’ve been an inactive member of a ladies gym going 22 years now.
I’ll have as much cereal as I want.
I have a pizza for Sue Hack.
Start packing, cause we are leaving this dump.
You hold your own pee bottle.
It was just exhausting. All I could thing about was how ling till I could leave.
Did you make your list of five favorite fonts?

10/10

Shameless 7.04

Anyone else not really digging Frank’s new family? And the whole homeless shelter storyline? Definitely the weakest episode of the season.

They’ll be good earners someday.
Those scumbags fucked with the wrong emperor.
We’ll do our drugs and beat each other up in doors.
In my country, you insult someone’s father, you get sent on a ranch to fuck a horse.
Why am I the only one in the family, you haven’t offered the job to?

6.5/10

How to Get Away with Murder 3.06

Gosh, this season am I right? So bad it hurts. Why can’t all the episodes be about Frank beating up Bonnie’s dad or Annalise and Eve? Going home in an hour to watch yesterday’s episode, but I wasn’t very interested in it yesterday.We learn Asher is alive, so at this point the dead man could either be Wes, Connor or Frank, or maybe Nate, but doubt it. Annalise is eating chips in the bathroom.

You take another step and I’ll chain you in the basement like Rebecca.
You’ve no idea what goes on in this house.
You spread your legs for him too?
You’re ready to fail, like your dad’s condom.
Well, court is unpredictable. Sit down.
I took you off the waitlist, I should have left you alone.
I wanted to be a better person.

9.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.06

One of the best episodes I’ve seen this fall.

His acting gets slightly better in every movie.
Arnold says 6 lines in this movie and your dad talked over every one.
He’s not from Austria like Arnold or Belgium like a Van Damme or wherever Segal is from.
He’s clearly having some sort of an episode, get everything you can.
Just take my 80 bucks.
Dear Lord, this is a big budget movie! I’m making a big budget movie!
Mommy remember that one time I lived in your tummy?
I just had to capture the moment, so I can remember it forever.
It’s just a store.
Not to me, I’ve had my best memories there. Just think of all the coupons I’ve doubled there, all the managers I’ve made cry, all the clothes I’ve worn for a decade and then returned no questions asked.
It looks cheap as hell. It’s all dark and hard to see. The camera shakes like crazy. Also, it sounds like crap. Like a washed out crammy public access show that’s on at midnight.
Here’s the stuff, make it good.
All this time I’ve had access to high-tech Hollywood film equipment and you’ve never told me.
Surprise, anger, surprise, anger, and most important. Love scene.
Please don’t show us love scene.
What’s the one thing you love the most about going shopping with me?
Nodding yes or no as you try on outfits, like they do in movies.
Oh fuck no, what kind of a store doesn’t have tuna. I will find tuna. give me fucking tuna.
And the Oscar for best actor goes to Barry Norman Goldberg.
Lots of other actors would say thank you, I’m saying, you’re welcome.
This film will be my calling card and it will make Jamie Lee Curtis notice me.
My sweaters, my glorious sweaters!
This is my mum’s, all of these are!
And if Gambles wasn’t going out of business before, they sure would have after my mom and sister were done there.

10/10

Shameless 7.02. Shameless 7.03. The Goldbergs 4.05. American Horror Story 6.06. Younger 3.04. Younger 3.05. Scream Queens 2.04. The Good Place 1.06. The Good Place 1.07

05 Saturday Nov 2016

Posted by in american horror story, friends, scream queens, shameless, the goldbergs, the good place, tv series, younger

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I just realized that most of the shows will go on their Christmas hiatus in two or three weeks, so I better catch up with my reviews. Posting a few today and then I’m off to watch new Greys. Expect a massive post tomorrow.

Shameless 7.02

Shameless was just added on Netflix UK! In the newest episode Frank disinherits the whole family and all of the kids are actually relieved. Also, Frank washing himself up in the toilet.

I’m filling out the paperwork to disinherit you, abortion should have beens.
I’m chaning her name to Harriet. Harry.
That’s a perfect name for the diesel dyke she’s going to grow up to some day.
Tough titties.
I’m the only woman of color and I’ll sue your ass.
Excuse me, I saw your help wanted sign?
Hey Olga, you’re fired.
Don’t be corrupting my son with your interracial bisexual funny business.
That’s okay. You don’t have to go to college.

10/10

Shameless 7.03

Frank found himself a new family. Debbie continues to steal. Fiona has an amazing monologue on how she still can make something of herself after she inspired by a millionaire high school dropout.

Welcome, new Gallaghers.
He sold her into sex slavery.
I got some money. I took it from teacher’s purse.
That’s the new Fiona.
You’d call the cops?! What kind of a Gallagher are you?
She’s retarded.
Who gave you the right to occupy these premises?
Statue of Liberty when she said come the homeless and Jesus Christ when he washed the feet of the homeless and gave them wine.
Are those Greek letters on this motherfucking house?
I am just as likely as anyone else in this family to make something of myself and it’s about time you got that you arrogant shit.

9/10

The Goldbergs 4.05

Beverly summing up exactly what the show is about had me in tears! Unfortunately, the episode itself wasn’t too good.

You spread the rumor of me dating the lunch lady!
I’m his muse?
Actually, Stephen King is his muse.
You were there for me. If that’s being a Barry, I’m okay with it.
You keep writing about me, about this family. It may not all be true, but it’s pretty damn good.
Turns out the best stories are the one that come from home.

3/10

American Horror Story 6.06

I am never more excited than when it comes to murder. What a bloody episode. Best this season, and unfortunately the last good one as well. I absolutely loved the ‘Blair Witch’ warning in the middle. What did you guys think of Sarah’s British accent? I thought she’s doing a great job, especially compering to Evan’s really bad one a few episodes ago. I loved that Kathy Bates’s character went full on ‘Mysery’ and killed some. Also, OJ Simpson and Martha being friends in this episode made me so damn happy. I know every teenager everywhere plus one of my good friends are mourning Evan’s character, but he played just really shitty this season and his character was unnecessary in the first place.

If they look out the window and see trailers parked in the fucking yard.
You became obsessed.
You’re not on the show. You’re never gonna be on the show again.
We only want real people this year.
I’m a real person.
You’re unstable.
Do you think the restraining order will keep her away?
God, I hope not.
I have no interest in finding out who that is.
Was that Agnes?
She’s here to steal my Saturn!
Your car?
No, my Saturn award!
Over the next three days during the Blood Moon, every participant in this series died under mysterious circumstances. Except for one.
The show planned by the producers never aired . This is the assembled found footage.
Hi, girl.
Hi, Dominic. When did you get here?
Fuck you, Sidney.

10/10

Younger 3.04

I know Younger is from the Sex and the City creator, but it annoys me how sex centered the show is getting. This shitty episode fo example was all about period sex.

I’m recommending we cut stuff by 45 % next quarter. Not you. Just the old people, like Diana.

1/10

Younger 3.05

New lingo, what not to say anymore. At least we got rid of the stupid millionaire kid. And email will never go out of style. It’s just too good. And we all know Snapchat etc. will die just like Vine and so many others are.

I think there is a way to view private. I think it’s called stalk-book. I’ll check it out.Oh you can put my finger on it.
No, I don’t have Google alerts, maybe my assistant should set it up.

3/10

Scream Queens 2.04

Loved the SVU reference, but other than that it was a really bad episode. At least all the annoying characters are getting killed off.

Where I come from sad and skinny 20 something’s feelings are more important than some stupid documents!
These are their stories.
You stupid hobo.
That’s because you insist of Snapchatting during sex.

3.5/10

The Good Place 1.06

All the Friends references!

Sicko, freako, creepo, George Washington.
Is it that movie where Laura Linney cries in a lake house, because Jude Law left her for his ex wife’s ghost?
Like if your uber driver talks to you, the ride should be free?
I even watched all 10 seasons of the show called Friends. How did they afford that apartment? A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices?
Since we’re becoming friends like Ross and Phoebe.
We’re combo but okay.
Unlike Ross when he promised Emily not to talk to Rachel.
I feel like Friends in season 8, out of ideas and forcing Joey and Rachel together even though it made no sense.

4.5/10

The Good Place 1.07

Only the very ending made sense.

Michael, the problem in the neighborhood is me. I was brought to The Good Place by mistake.

0.5/10

Greys 13.04. SVU 18.03. SVU 18.04. The Middle 8.01. The Goldbergs 4.03. The Goldbergs 4.04. How To Get Away With Murder 3.03. American Horror Story 6.01. American Horror Story 6.04. American Horror Story 6.05. Younger 3.02. The Simpsons 28.01. The Simpsons 28.02. The Simpsons 28.03. The Good Place 1.01. The Good Place 1.02. The Good Place 1.03. The Good Place 1.04. The Good Place 1.05

23 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by in greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the good place, the middle, the simpsons, tv series, younger

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Greys 13.04

Didn’t  Webber close Denny’s clinic after he fired Izzie back in season 6? Karev at the clinic is basically me at work every day. Alex called Richard to talk to the alcoholic girl.

Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic
Things you didn’t do yesterday.
Do you think this is the place to hang out with your friends?
She’s yours now, I’m not taking her back.
So this means it’s real. I’m not overreacting?
There’s no way that other asshat doctor would have figured it out.
You didn’t decide to side with me, because of you and I?
You guys love each other, you can say anything.
I once chocked Cristina.

10/10

SVU 18.03

A mom decides to sleep with an admissions officer to get her son into a prestigious university. The man turns out to be a con. The kid can’t take it.

In 10 minutes she goes from best sex ever to you raped me?
So Noah is not getting into the fancy school?
She slept with the admissions officer?
There is a rapist out there pretending to be you.
Do any of the moms offer sex?
Did you mean to hurt yourself?
I’m saying that what he did to you was rape.
Ask me, that’s rape.
She screwed some guy trying to get her kid into college?
That’s campus security.
Win or lose we need to make a statement.
What you did is not sex, trust me.
Why did you tell me to testify?
How many women will we let this man victimise.?

8/10

SVU 18.04

Amanda’s psycho sister is back! And they explained all her craziness and irrational behavior as bipolar disorder!? Anyone else mad at this? Does this mean we’ll see more of Kim now that she’s living with Amanda? Does this mean she’s a regular now? Will she never do anything stupid again now that they think they know what’s wrong with her?! I am upset. The writers show us that everything is explainable. And we’ve never even seen her ‘depressed’ behavior to assume she’s bipolar. Amanda diagnosed the victim as bipolar and then it turned out her sister is bipolar too. Loved the case and this episode.

I have trust in Jesus.
Women get raped and killed in shelters.
I was raped.
Not here to judge you.
He paid for what he got.
He paid for what he took.
I can’t have my life blown up. Not right now.
Cause he raped you. There’s no such thing in this line of work.
You can’t rape a hooker.
No one deserves to be raped.
I’m a tabloid headline.
I’ve been an SVU detective for 17 years.
And then he did it anyway.
I am ashamed of what I did, but I’m not ashames that I was raped.
How dare you say my body isn’t perfect!
She has a bipolar disorder.
It’s for bipolar disorder.
You didn’t tell me.
You didn’t ask, Amanda.

10/10

The Middle 8.01

What a fantastic episode! No backup plan has always been my motto. Anyone else loves Greer Grammer as Axl’s ‘simple’ girlfriend as much as I do?

I was a girl in the well for 14 weeks.
Team Aniston! I am totally gonna wear this!
You have to be all in. No backup plan!
Put on a bra.What’t the word…um…good!
Oh, what’s the word…dumb!
Axl isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
At least he can find the shed!
Hello, old friend. Woop! Damn it!
Did he just call me Mike?
Who’s the blonde?
Where’s the bathroom again?
First on the left. First on the left.
This is how bad it is. We’re crossing our fingers for Cindy.

10/10

The Goldbergs 4.03

Adam helped Erica out after she stole his Brady Bunch idea and I love this show.

Enough with your folk tales, old man.
I don’t know and more importantly, I don’t care.
Come on, go on Surfin Saffari with your mama.
This is my fucking nightmare.
Like any sensible adult, I stole an idea from The Brady Bunch.
That’s crazy no one wants to be an urologist.
I’ve never even seen The Brady Bunch.
I’d like to dig in, but this is nuts level, buddy.
Good luck to you, Beverly.
Is there anything I can do?
He just wasn’t the one.
You and Geoff are the real deal.
I’ll come back in another 4 years.

6.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.04

Oh my god, Erica. Dad did something that doesn’t suck!
Don’t record the suggested message!
Shut up, convenience.
And it’s advertised on TV, so you know it’s good.
Because you took me to see Psycho when I was little.
What the fuck is this?!

5/10

How To Get Away With Murder 3.03

This season is so much better than the crappy season 2! And Annalise just slapped her client!

Look straight into the camera.
Go make sure our client doesn’t purchusa Micheala.
I was kidnapped at 16 and he wouldn’t pay the ransom.
I killed a girl.
My lawyer is blackmailing me.
Jamie’s mother still updates the website every week.
It could have been me.
If police haven’t caught my father, I would have ran away and end up on the street.
I can call an annonymous tip.
There’s a dead girl it the freezer and I can’t do anything about it.
Say you’ll take the deal!
I am Annalise Keating’s lawyer.

7/10

American Horror Story 6.01

My first thought on this season was, ‘god, what a beautiful house’. At the first glance, season 6 reminds us of the hunted house in season one. Apparitions walking down the hallways, crazy pig headed people, croatoen, etc. I hate reality TV in general and I’m not a huge fan of crime docs, so I do not like this seasons’ format. I am still pissed that there is no opening credits this year that has always been my absoulte favorite!

Televised dramatization.
Back then, yoga was called streching. It’s something you do before not as excersize.
I got my degree in criminal psychology at UNC.
Did you know prescription painkillers can be more addictive than heroin?
I went from two pills a day to two pills an hour.
He was a serial rapist. A real asshole. I hate assholes.
My brother married one jumpy bitch.
Somebody’s gotta protect you from the wild man in the woods.
The sensors have been triggered by something.
When a mob showes up in the middle of the night with torches, they are not there to welcome you to the neighboorhood.
Someone’s in the house.
Why would someone break into my house to play a home movie?
I followed this woman straight into the forrest.

10/10

American Horror Story 6.04

Denis O’Hare is back!

It was a ritual. A sacrifice. And he was being burned alive.
They never had a chance.
These go back to 1700s.
I saw a dead girl playing in the woods. She was the one who led us to the cellar to the videotapes.
One look at his face and there was no doubt, he’s been through something hellish.
She took my hand and the black veil was lifted.
Blood sacrifised to the antiant gods.
Tell me young man, have you evver heard the term ‘gay for pay’?

9.5/10

American Horror Story 6.05

I hated this episode and it was the one who was supposed to wrap up Ranoake season one and it was just boresome. At least there was The Grunge reference and I enjoyed the scene were all the female servants were thrown into the cellar and their bones were found after years. I hated Evan’s accent. It was slightly British at parts, but he should have had some training. I loved the half the face getting all dark when Evan moved the torch away part.

2/10

Younger 3.02

So Kelsey was raped by her ex friend’s twin brother and they made a joke of it. What is worse, Peter Herman, who also happens to be Mariska Hargitay’s husband, is on the show. Not okay. Younger, strike out one more time and I’m done with you.

I can help out with the tuition.
I can’t let you do that. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.
Will you throw that in the pool?

3.5/10

The Simpsons 28.01

This year women may audition with permission of father, husband and pastor. In wirking.
An old man is prwling the school looking for your children. Please perform for him.
Excellent villain!
Do you ever say anything in a simple way?
Shut up.
Well, that was clear.
Thanks a lot, Lisa. we were getting out of school for this.
You’re telling me that really happened?
They looked just like us, didn’t they?

5/10

The Simpsons 28.02

Such a funny episode, and it got a little nasty at the end too.

You’ll never have this.
Cheap piece of plastic with photos of ugly people?
Maggie talk. No one listen? Maggie never talk again.
I think I remember what happened, Marge.
How could you remember, you were on your phone half the time.
If you can afford good Wifi, you use it.
Oh look, it’s the ugly people from the cube!
Stoned at a funeral.
When did salad get so awful?
Kale ruined everything.
I have a bike too, I keep a lock on it.
I have no interest ain riding your bike.

8/10

The Simpsons 28.03

The dog before me?!
I knew I didn’t pay this month’s mortgage for a reason.

2/10

The Good Place 1.01

Or the only show this season that I actually like. Even though it’s weak and stupid half the time, it’s still good enough for a comedy, and this was a fine trailer.

Relax. Everything’s fine.
Every religion uessed about 5%.
There’s a good place and a bad place. You’re in the good place.
Sponsored by two otters holding hands while they sleep.
I can only play you an audio clip of what’s happening there right now.
I spent half of my life fighting for women rights  and the other half of my life fighting for gay rights.
And he said, you can’t give me both of your kidneys. You’ll die.
But you will live. And I know we only just met on this bus 10 minutes ago, but you seem nice.
What a condensatong bench. Whay does she still have that British accent? No one here has an accent.
I just need to go steal some gold stuff.

8/10

The Good Place 1.02

Much worse than the pilot, still interesting enough.

What kind of pornography would you like to access?
Where am I from?
Is it racist if I say Africa?
Senso…dyne?
That’s a brand of toothpaste.
Have you seen my dog?
Imagine something that brings you joy.
People poking on rollercoasters.
You don’t belong here.

3/10

The Good Place 1.03

Welcome to the neighborhood. Even though we all got here at the same time.
Here’s some dirt I put in a bag, because I’m amazing.
Fun fact, Columbus is in the Bad Place, because of all the raping, slave trade and genocide.
I’m not supposed to be here too.

2.5/10

The Good Place 1.04

And it’s still getting worse.

Your favorite meal was the hunger strike you went on to protest Boliwian sex trafficking.
Tofu?
Be quiet and eat your white sponge.

1/10

The Good Place 1.05

Oh god, now it’s terrible.

It somehow tastes how I felt when my cellphone was fully charged. So relaxed.
Screw all the other complicated theories, why didn;t you start with this one?

1/10

Greys 13.01. Greys 13.02. Greys 13.03. SVU 18.01. SVU 18.02. Shameless 7.01. The Goldbergs 4.01. The Goldbergs 4.02. How To Get Away With Murder 3.01. How To Get Away With Murder 3.02. Transparent 3.01. Younger 3.01. American Horror Story 6.02. American Horror Story 6.03. Scream Queens 2.01. Scream Queens 2.02

09 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by in american horror story, cougar town, greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, Jessica Lange, Kelli Giddish, Mariska Hargitay, scream queens, shameless, special victims unit, the goldbergs, tv series

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Our shows are back! What do you guys think about the new fall shows? I hated Notorious, I watched two episodes and it may be one of the most boring TV shows ever made. I think I’ll just stick with The Good Place. And I still need to see This is Us and The Exorcist!

Greys 13.01

I hated this opening episode with every fiber of my being. Karev beat DeLuca up, and was that eye injury really necessary?

2/10

Greys 13.02

Didn’t they close the Denny Duquette clinic back in season 6? When did it get reopened?

Felony in the second degree.
How do you plead, Dr Karev?
Not guilty.
Which parent is ready to hear that yes, your toddler i dead, but here’s a bill for quarter million dollars anyway.
Do you have a decent lawyer, do you need help?
You got along at the wedding.
It was a wedding, I had tequila.
She named her tumor after her ex husband’s mistress.
I was attacked, I remember.
I think I might have just threatened DeLucaa
Who is Mrs Petercan?
She doesn’t know that you’re madly in love with me.
What hear about you threatening DeLuca?
Where is Dr Alex? I want Dr Alex.
You were the big surprise. You were most improved. The person who beat up DeLuca is a person I thought you left a long time ago.
The Denny Duquette clinic?
We walked through doors as interns, we’re thrown into the deep end together, told to save lives together, to save each other, we become family.
I slept with Riggs.

10/10

Greys 13.03

What is happening to Greys?! Yawn, yawn, yawn. And why did they show us the eye surgery again? Other than that, Ben was just his perfect self yesterday. And Tucker Jones is so grown up! He looks 12 already!

Edit

After rewatching the episode, I realized it was actually really good.

It sucks but I’m fine.
Welcome back, Robbins.
Morgue. There’s not much emergencies in that job.
Excuse me?
You’re the boss.
I am a big chunk of this hospital, so technically I am.
I don’t want to go to jail.
That’s the guy you trained and raised or whatever.

4 9.5/10

SVU 18.01

I was running on reruns and holding on to the last straw. Season 18 started off with an intense Central Park scene, where Liv had to calm down a little child who pointed a gun at her and her son Noah. What a season opener. The episode went more into a terrorism side, than what the show is all about, but Olivia didn’t give in and did everything she could to help the abused Muslim woman. SVU covered recent mass shootings, while staging a Central Park shooting. Throughout the whole episode she had a lovely ‘fed up with perps’ attitude and Mariska was an absolute scene stealer. Here are some quotes I loved, you know the drill.

I am in the park with Noah.
I found him in Central Park, he had a gun.
Rita, you’re representing terrorists now.
Hell of a ride to get on.
She was raped and tortured by him and his brother.
Your job cost my son his life.
Rape or no rape she is a killer.
I am going to investigate a case that everyone wants me to ignore.
Unless you had in vitro, you had sex.
She asked you a question.
I want a lawyer.
Okay. (the way Mariska said ‘okay’)
I believe her and so does she.

9.5/10

SVU 18.02

A teenager was obsessed with Amanda and lied to please her and Amanda said it was not her fault he has a crush on her and that was the best part of the episode. A man rapes the only daughter of a woman who accused him of raping her years ago as the prison ‘made him a rapist’.

The girl was raped, beaten and stabbed.
She was pretty, like you.
Plus Detective Rollins…
I know she’s an attractive woman.
Detective Rollins flirted with you.
It’s not my fault he has a crush on me.
I was raped in prison all the time.

5/10

Shameless 7.01

Woah, season 7, what are you doing? I disliked most of the episode for the first time in the history of watching this show! It started off okay and then it got…boring! I didn’t know nurses had to wash coma patient’s genitalia, so thanks for that Shameless. I’ll tell repeat that to my best friend who’s finishing nursing school now. Another reason not to go into medicine. And I hated that Carl’s girlfriend practically bullied him into having a circumscription at 15, what the fuck. Not everyone is a jew, you know? The only thing I liked about this was that Lip will work at Fiona’s diner and I really enjoyed Debbie stealing these baby strollers and getting a nanny. I still don’t understand why Fiona got to keep her ex fiancee and boss was the one who moved away.

Holy Mother of Jesus.
It’s okay. I’ll just superglue it.
You’re thing is kinda weird.. It has all that extra skin. It freaks me out.
I could use an extra person on dishes.
Done.

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.01

When I heard The Goldbergs were doing The Breakfast Club episode, I thought it would be epic. Hell, I was expecting tears running from my eyes. I usually hate when shows act out the famous scene from this teen classic. I loved their tribute to The Goonies! And many other films, including Dirty Dancing or The Ghostbusters, etc. The only show that honored and celebrated The Breakfast Club well enough was Cougar Town a few years back.

Aww The Breakfast Club. Truly the ultimate teen movie of the 80s.
Why aren’t you moving?! Stop it! Start moving your body!I received my teaching license and I am now a substitute teacher.
See you in the halls, delicious people.
It’s just like The Breakfast Club!
I’m not the nerd!
Again, this is just like the movie.
You’re all wearing hats, like idiots.
Sincerely, The Breakfast Club.

6/10

The Goldbergs 4.02

I hope the whole season won’t be this bad. Why is Erica so obsessed with Geoff, she didn’t care about his feeling for years. I would have understood if she realized he was her soulmate, but why the sudden obsession?

Bookkeeper is not a librarian.
And most of my customers is me in different costumes.
My first professional paying gig!

1.5/10

How To Get Away With Murder 3.01

Frank shot Wes’s father and one of the students or Bonnie die at the end of season 3! Screaming in the woods as a form of letting go.

You get to be lawyers, responsible for your own cases.
Killer.
We’re good people now.
At least they chose a good photo.
Why are you always stalking me?
You were never normal, you just didn’t know it till now.
The five is in the bottom 10%.
When I look at you, all I see is Frank.
Who is it?

7/10`

How To Get Away with Murder 3.02

I wasn’t concerned until you started talking how not concerned you are.
I did what you did. I killed a guy and I got away with it.
Wipe it clean. Everything on it.

4.5/10

Transparent 3.01

Moira’s scenes at the beginning were amazing! Anything else was awful. Ali was practically sexually assaulted, but sure whatever. Every time the kids defend their mapa’s genre I feel so proud.

Told us to sign that in case we were kidnapped.
Can you change the M please?
Go fuck yourself.
Okay, I will.
She’s a woman! Her name is Moira!
His vitals.
HER vitals!
I am not doing things I could be doing.
I don’t want to die with some arrogant asshole calling me Mr Fefferman.

3.5/10

Younger 3.01

All this Liza Charles business is insane. I want them to get together. I doubt he’d care that she’s 40. So she lied, everyone lies about their age. I never saw the Liza/Josh connection. Homeless man in the wedding dress, though! Excellent.

Charles kissed me in the man’s department.
The sales who picked it out…
That’s for fat people.
You want a tour?
Sure.
This is were I sit. This is where I sleep.
It was just a kiss, Liza. Let it go.

4.5/10

American Horror Story 6.02

Anyone actually enjoying this season? For me it’s boredom. Remember how good the first 4 seasons were? I miss Jessica Lange every time I watch this show.

Percilla. The little girl with weird clothes.
Do you see her?
I see her.
Is that the same guy you saw in the video?

5.5/10

American Horror Story 6.03

Inbred hillbillies drinking pig’s milk and then masturbated while OJ Simpson had unconscious sex with Lady Gaga. Yeah, it’s finally getting fucked up. Doll with pig’s head and other cute gory things equally on point.

Your daughter is with Perscilla.
There can never be a friendship between dead and the living.
You were screwing this woman against the tree while these hillbillies watched.

5/10

Scream Queens 2.01

I guess now we all know why they invited Uncle Jesse to the show. Yes, my favorite scene was the one where Emma Roberts took her clothes off the minute she saw John Stamos naked. I also enjoyed that a Netflix documentary exonerated the Channels. And we all know people who went to med school even though they didn’t study enough and then there are people who really should be doctors and had to retake their exams even though they were much higher than the rich ones the first time. Don’t even get me started with online med schools and doctors who can’t diagnose the simplest things and check everything online while you’re asking them questions. Is everyone else loving Kristie Ally in this as much as I am?!

That Netflix documentary that exonerated us.
Shut up, number 5!
Turns out, I love blood! Looove it!
Turns out I’m really good at poking people!
Oh my god, thank you, right?!
Uhm, let’s go over what’s expected of you.
Dr. Hot.
Through the power of the Internet, anyone can be an M.D.
Still dressing as sluts, I see.Your obvious stupidity will not get past me.
You rich dumb whores.

8.5/10

Scream Queens 2.02

So bad it hurt at times.

Have you graduated high shool to become a detective?
I haven’t been man handled in 2 years.
Lot of work for relatively small and insignificant amount of land.
Call the police. No don’t call them. They’re morons!
From now on, when someone is about to take off the mask, don’t interrupt them with stupid questions!
Julianna Margulies.

4/10

Which scenes from these episode you enjoyed the most?

Stockholm, Pennsylvania. The Diary of a Teenage Girl. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Reservoir Dogs. Godzilla. A Guy Thing. Boogeyman 2

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in movies, the goldbergs

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Stockholm, Pennsylvania

The main character, a 22 year old girl (Saoirse Ronan) escaped her captor to end up in hands of another, this time related to her. I don’t quite get why the father abandoned her and let his wife forbid him to see his daughter when he seemed so nice at the beginning. The ending was quite dazzling, as the crazy cycle continued. It was never explained how the main character escaped, how the kidnapper got caught or if her kidnapper sexually assaulted her, surprising as it may be, I really thing he didn’t. It seemed like he just wanted to have something to raise that was fully his, but without the perversity. Cynthia Nixon’s performance was alluring, I have seen her in some dramas after the SATC series, and this was most likely her best work. Saoirse brings her usual sensitivity to the film. Stockholm is an independent film, but it  deserved similar recognition to The Room.

8/10

The Diary of a Teenage Girl

To answer the main character’s question, yes, you are the only one who thinks this much about sex. Girls tend to think a little more about it before losing their virginity, but after the fact they only share the exceptional and exceptionally bad experiences with their friends. I know it was the 70s and people had more time to waste, but not everyone was sex crazed. One of the thing I enjoyed about the film was that ‘unnatural bond’ remark Christopher Meloni’s character made, forcing the mother (Kristen Wigg) to feel uncomfortable around her daughter. I enjoyed how the mother found out, and it was the first time I enjoyed watching Kristen Wigg act, I may check out more films of hers. I didn’t like her in Bridesmaids, or the film in general, I did love the shitting/puking scene. The Diary of a Teenage Girl is a good enough film, that I’ll never get on DVD or even watch again.

‘The point is that you fucked my daughter.’

‘Just keep drawing.’

5/10

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

I needed a rewatch after watching that Ferris based The Goldbergs episode and feeling more nostalgic than usual. I skipped school 9 days a month, not a semester, so not sure what the hype is all about. The film felt much less eventful than when I watched it when I was Ferris’s age.

‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’

7/10

Reservoir Dogs

I never understood the appeal of this film. I do enjoy watching it once a decade, but I don’t get why people worship it. At least many men do. I know that women seem to hate it, but it’s not that it’s boring. It starts off interesting and then it just goes like every other gangster film, even though it isn’t even a gangster film. It’s just a bunch of guys making series of really bad decisions.

7/10

Godzilla

All I expected from this film were great special effects, and the Loch Ness monster hunt feeling, and that’s what we got. The monsters looked a little unnatural at the beginning with their metal heads, but their appearance got better throughout the film. I swear Richard T Jones plays a secondary character in half big budget action/catastrophic productions. I see him on my TV at least 3 times a year. I still don’t understand how the main character found his son. I saw more than a half of Elizabeth Olsen’s films, which I guess makes me a fan. She was fantastic in Silent House and Marcy May Marlene or whatever the order of those name was, both end up focusing on sex crimes, and I highly recommend these two.

5/10

A Guy Thing

Netflix, why don’t you stop adding crappy films? I wanted to turn it off, but then the guy caught a veneric disease and it got funny  for a second or two and then it was too late to turn it off.

3/10

Boogeyman 2

The first Boogeyman starring Emily Deschanel from Bones, made some sense, this just didn’t. Mae Whitman plays a self-harmer, there’s also a bulimic girl, an OCD guy and people with other phobias. Even if you’re into mental health films, which I am, you won’t find much about the character’s issues and they seem to unnecessarily explain every obvious aspect of their diseases which feels odd. I know when you like horror, you’re tempted to watch almost everything, but trust me, skip this one.

2.5/10