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Shameless 7.10. The Middle 8.08. The Goldbergs 4.09. The Goldbergs 4.10. Scream Queens 2.07. Scream Queens 2.08. Scream Queens 2.09. Younger 3.11. Younger 3.12. The Simpsons 28.09. The Simpsons 28.10. Divorce 1.10

17 Saturday Dec 2016

Posted by Joanne in divorce, shameless, the goldbergs, the middle, the simpsons, tv series, younger

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I watched season 1 of Damages, it was so long and boring, I decided to quit when the main murder got resolved as the result was just disappointing.

How did you like Fuller House? Wasn’t season 2 so good? Kimmy stole the spotlight yet again. There has to be a third season.

Shameless 7.10

There’s something about this season that makes it not so enjoyable. They’re not pulling enough ‘shameless’ fast ones. Sure Frank slept with Fiona’s elderly friend with dementia. Debbie did beg on the street and Monica did take a baseball bat to the other grandparents house, but what about Ian and Lip? Lip kept proving everyone he’s Frank’s son, Carl disappeared off to military school (wtf he was just in juvie last season) and Ian was the only one who had his shit together and dates a nice transgender man. Fiona’s storyline is boring, Frank’s too, Kev and Vi’s is just plain awful. Why did they move this season 4 months up only to give us this disappointment. Where the fuck is Sheila, we need her.

Mickey is back and he is heading to Mexico. Oh yeah and Monica is back too. I rememeber her having that meth selling boyfriend last season but what the f happened to her lesbian lover? Frank and Monica rob a Bingo bus and try to rob a bank too. They writers made it look that Lip’s teacher is responsible for his drinking problem as he ended up drunkinly breaking into her home. Despite all this craziness, Ian said something right on point.

I’m nuts. Mickey’s fucking nuts.
I’m on CTP. Colored people time.
Love is raw and destructive.
Milkoviches? I think one of them robbed us back in the 80s. If the cops pick up the Milkoviches, tell them we want our VCR back.
Am I stupid?
Fuck her, you’re a sweetheart.
That OJ lawyer is already dead.
Have you thought what would have happened if you ran off with Jimmy/Steve?
Lying sociopath Jimmy Steve? My life would be a non-stop psycho thriller.
What of nothing ever gives you the same thrill again?
You turned your life around. Mickey would set a match to it. You’ve done really great without him and I’m really fucking proud of you.
Lip, you broke into my home. Jesus, Lip, you’ve got to move one, please. Get some help.

10/10

The Middle 8.08

The rating for The Middle are not the best this season, but It’s still well in the 6mln. Axl and April got married…for one episode. First average episode in ages.

And that weird one that reads.
That one’s mine.

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.09

I feel like they have ran out of ideas. The whole season is a snoozeville. Here, Murray has his Birthday and he sleeps through the surprise birthday party Bev threw him. Adam and Big Tasty have a quarell, after Adam starts getting into basketball.

Before you get mad, you should lay down on those coats It’s amazing.
Which baby is this?
The moron.
Wow, these receipts really mean a lot to you.
I  should be in the moment more.
If you start liking basketball, then who am I?

3.5/10

The Goldbergs 4.10

At least we got to hear Hayley Orrantia sing, and she has such a wonderful voice. Love Sick is definitely my most played song in 2016, and I love Unitil Then and Strong and Southern and Silence You and I am waiting for Hayley’s EP.

What am I watching?
The duck is gonna make it with that lady, what have you brought us to?!
A lady and a duck in bed. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea?!
You replaced my favorite posters.
That’s my baby!

3.5/10

Scream Queens 2.07

I saw the ratings and there is no way this show is not getting cancelled after next week’s season finale. Season one was fresh and exciting, and despite being badly written, it kept you occupied after just finishing a new episode of SVU. Season 2 on the other hand? Nothing makes sense, the killer got revealed halfway through, it has so many unnecessary characters, they’re killing off all the original characters and oh boy it just sucks. Grandfathered’s ratings last year were twice as good and the show got canceled. Scream Queens only had 2 million followers per episode, but most likely Fox didn’t cancel it because they wanted to keep Jamie Lee Curtis in the family.

He’s a psychopath and his most likely profession a serial killer.
Most Americans use the same password for everything.
His password is I went to Harvard.
I’m gonna put you on an antiobesity drug called Orlistat.
I’m pretty sure I just saw Hester, yeah, from the Netflix documentary. The head nurse is obviously a drug addict and Cathy Much thinks she’s a doctor.

6.5/10

Scream Queens 2.08

We learned that Grace has been locked up in a mental institution this whole time.

Emma Roberts Snapchatting during sex with Uncle Jesse, oh lord. We all know at least one person who does it and it’s just unappropriate, but here, entertaining.
Are you texting?
Snapchatting.
Snapchatting?
I don’t know maybe take sex classes?
I’ll just lay here listening to Spotify.
During that Katy Perry/Taylor Swift feud, she sided with Katy!
Not when my daughter was locked ypo in a mental insitution because o fwhat they did to her.
You said she went to Stanford.
Stanford Mental Asylum.
How come they get to be doctors while my little Grace gets locked up.

4/10

Scream Queens 2.09

Brooke Shields guest stars just to get poisoned and give the Channels her TV Show.

I don’t want to die in this outfit!
We want to be TV doctors, not real doctors.
I don’t give a rat’s ass about that cow Number 3.
You have 8 hours to complete the exam.
I think the answer is B, better luck next time!
I am  a genius and no one cares.
Damn it, number 5, shut up!
Where’s number 5.
I don’t know, probbaly taking a huge nervous dump somewhere.
We’re not surprised she got poisones. It was probably one of the PAs she fired for farting.
Di you just offer us our own show?
I’ll be dead in a month.

7.5/10

Younger 3.11

Liza and Charles almost hook up and this is how it should be! I wish she just told him the truth right there.

We need to tweet, instagram and Snapchat our asses off this weekend!
Liza, I know you’re 40.
Either you publish my book, or I’ll publish your story.
Advice from her?
No, advice from her dog.
Just put 10 people in a tight corner , take a picture and this party will look crowded too..
My babysitter got me into them.
I like you.

5/10

Younger 3.12

Liza told Kelsey the truth! I didn’t like how or where it happened, but it’s okay. I guess if Josh found out at the end of season 2, Kelsey at the end of season 3, then Charles will when season 4 ends. I hope season 4 starts in early spring.

I’m sure you know how fond I am of you.
They say life starts when you’re 40.
You didn’t consider me at all!
No restrictions, no pressure. This is you. The real you.
What will make you happy?
Losing weight.
What will make you happy?
A divorce!
I just want my wofe back.
Just call her.
You’re a liar and a cheater. Your lies are hurting everyone around you.
This is my daughter, she’s in college. And ‘m not 26. I will be 41 in a couple of weeks.
I don’t undrstand.
Then let me explain.

10/10

The Simpsons 28.09

This episode was a blur. I don’t remember much of it, except for Homer getting injured at work after Mr. Burns throws him down his chute.

SueSA.
How could I have forgotten to sue Mr. Burnes?

4/10

The Simpsons 28.10

Oh boy, at least Maggie kicked some elf’s ass.

1/10

Divorce 1.10

Robert called cops on Frances! The only good thing about this episode. The daughter is hit by a car and no one even tries to tell the son not to blame himself, they just chat about it among themselves. This is what’s wrong with the show.

2/10

This Is Us 1.01. The Goldbergs 4.08. Younger 3.09. Younger 3.10. The Simpsons 28.08. Divorce 1.07. Divorce 1.08. Divorce 1.09

11 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by Joanne in divorce, the goldbergs, the simpsons, this is us, tv series, younger

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This is Us 1.01

I have found my new Parenthood! Woah what a great show! I cried through most of it, just like during Parenthood! It’s beautiful and I was nicely surprised with how the three storylines are connected! It’s the best show this Fall.

Average human being shares their birthday with 18 mln other human beings.
Do not dare eat this cake before your party, Kate. Love, Kate.
Seriously, what is wrong with you?
This is a low point.
How did I get here? How the hell did I get here? I had this whole dream life that I have imagined for myself. A real career. Look at me, Kev. I ate my dream life away.
Tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Tell me to lose the damn weight!
Lose the damn weight.
I’m gonna lose the damn weight.
You want to be fat friends?
Sure, but I’m gonna lose the damn weight.
I can’t fall for a fat person right now.
I’ll lose the weight then.
You want to meet your grandchildren?
I have a thing for Sally Field.
I am 36 and this is not a very pretty picture.
This is the funny fat guy from fat class?
Yes, I am and it’s a support group.
We lost the third baby, I’m very sorry. He was stillborn. There was nothing anyone could have done.
You have two beautiful healthy children. A boy and a girl, but we did lose the third child.
Which one is yours?
None of them, someone left a newborn in my fire station.

10/10

The Goldbergs 4.08

Beverly becomes Erica’s Home Economic sub teacher and Adam gets one of the leads in Phantom of the Opera.

I don’t follow.
Neither do I, I lead.
She’s been scraping and couponing just to save enough money for you to go to any college you chose.

5.5/10

Younger 3.09

What is happening to this show, this season is awful.

I’ve never bought a bathing suit from a vending machine.

1.5/10

Younger 3.10

Oh sweet lord, so it CAN get even worse?! Point for the pregnancy dilemma.

0.5/10

The Simpsons 28.08

What is this chore monkey app and where can I get it?!

Isn’t it a little sexist to expect me to do all the carpeting?
You are finishED.
You should use the Chore Monkey app. People do all your chores and you’re free to follow your dreams.
This is the beginning of an unhealthy dependence.
I wouldn’t say it was a hostage situation.
I bet you wish you were back in your kitchen.
I am in my kitchen.
Then life is good. Am I right?
For you, I’ll get one without a criminal record.
You made that for me?
No, used to be OJ’s. Yeah, little Juice!
He calls my buttocks, ass.

7.5/10

Divorce 1.07

A family member taking out loans was very relatable, all of it.

What was that about every morning, the giggles, the big smiles, and the hi Robets, the extra shots, the obvious bent over to pick up a dime that you’ve dropped for my benefit.
He has left you both deep in debt.
He also took out some loans.
He remorgaged your house and then he took more loans.
I don’t deserve this.
You purches a two bedroom that was a siht of a triple homicide, yes or no, Rbert?
It’s the fact that you gambled your kids future!

5/10

Divorce 1.08

One good enough episode and we’re back to this? Sarah rolling her eyes as Robert saiid every day is special with his kids. The show reminds me of SDwx and the City not because of Sarah Jessica Parker, but because of all the sex references.

She’s a slut, drinking water cause she’s so thirsty from all the good fucking she’s gotten.
As a French men would do.

2/10

Divorce 1.09

Roberts is served with divorce papers at his daughter’s game.

There’s only ne guy here who doesn’t look like he cries when he comes.
We’re all sitting here with dicks in our hands.
You condensating fuck.
You dirty puta.

3.5/10

SVU 18.05. The Middle 8.03. American Horror Story 6.07. The Simpsons 28.04. The Simpsons 28.05. The Good Place 1.08.

06 Sunday Nov 2016

Posted by Joanne in american horror story, special victims unit, the good place, the simpsons, tv series

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SVU 18.05

Mariska had a ER reunion with her ER boyfriend, who as it turns out is also her first police parter on SVU. Now he’s trying to guilt Olivia into letting his son’s rape slide.It was a pretty good episode.

She was drunk, but she seemed fine.
Fine? What does that mean?
He was my first partner. He looked out for me. He taught me a lot.
His first mistake was humping a passed out girl.
You remember having sex?
He dated your cousin?
Aggressive in what way?
Sexually.
Your son raped an unconscious girl.
He lied to save your ass. You don’t own him anything.
What happened to you was a violation and it should never have happened.
For God’s sake, we are doing you a favor.
No matter what I say, or didn’t say, that means he raped me.
That means he raped you? Or is that what the SVU detectives and the DA told you?
I never would have consented to a guy I just met on the ground by the garbage. I was passed out and he did what he wanted anyway.
And you wnat to destroy his life, because he had sex with some drunk girl?
I knew you were passed out. I couldn’t stop myself

10/10


The Middle 8.03

Axl’s new girlfriend ran into the sliding door twice, and she’s still introducing herself to people. Brick went dressed as a bowling cone for Halloween. Brick finally got a chair same as everybody.

Hi, I’m April!
The end of fall right before autumn starts.
Now he’s all ‘dogs can’t eat chocolate’.
Brad Pitt was married to Jennifer Aniston!?
Either of us would have an affair. Cause we’re too tired.
May. It sounds like Mary.
I told Axl he should be nicer to you.
My own chair!
Welcome to the family!

8.5/10


American Horror Story 6.07

Is anyone else not really getting this season? It’s not artsy, scary or well acted, so what’s the point of it?

I’ve done my share of slasher films t. This does not smell like corn syrup.
They only got me for 3 episodes, but I got 5! They said fans wanted more. They wanted the butcher!
Judgemental motherfucker.
You think I’m going outside, getting lost in those woods?
I know this goes against every fiber of your being, but culd you please avoid bloodshed!
How may times do I have to tell you that this is real.
I’m not American, I’m not used to all that garbage.
I’m sorry, I just wanted to be on TV!

9.5/10

The Simpsons 28.04

The Hunger Games and Friend Request references! Homer played Haymitch. Everyone thought Lisa was murdering people, so they gave her a graveyard wing for all her victims.

Property of Ned Homer.
Why did my best friend had to die? It’s a great college essay, but it’s not worth it.
We now bury Sherry and Terry, survived by brothers Jerry and Larry, and her father Barry and mother Mary.
Lisa Simpson’s Wing.
Hello, best friend!
I’ll have friends in college.

7/10


The Simpsons 28.05

Mousetrapping a murderer.
I lost it to someone who doesn’t speak English.
I’m always happy to temporarily lose weight.
Sorry no ethnic food in the microwave.
And woman too, cause you have to say that too.
That kid wasn’t going anywhere anyway.
Hollywood’s greatest honor, shared credit, no money.

8/10


The Good Place 1.08

The show is certainly getting bad.

You lied so much you forgot your birthday?
Or post on social media that you were emotionally invested in any of the relationships the contestants were pursuing?

3.5/10

Greys 13.04. SVU 18.03. SVU 18.04. The Middle 8.01. The Goldbergs 4.03. The Goldbergs 4.04. How To Get Away With Murder 3.03. American Horror Story 6.01. American Horror Story 6.04. American Horror Story 6.05. Younger 3.02. The Simpsons 28.01. The Simpsons 28.02. The Simpsons 28.03. The Good Place 1.01. The Good Place 1.02. The Good Place 1.03. The Good Place 1.04. The Good Place 1.05

23 Sunday Oct 2016

Posted by Joanne in greys anatomy, how to get away with murder, special victims unit, the goldbergs, the good place, the middle, the simpsons, tv series, younger

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Greys 13.04

Didn’t  Webber close Denny’s clinic after he fired Izzie back in season 6? Karev at the clinic is basically me at work every day. Alex called Richard to talk to the alcoholic girl.

Denny Duquette Memorial Clinic
Things you didn’t do yesterday.
Do you think this is the place to hang out with your friends?
She’s yours now, I’m not taking her back.
So this means it’s real. I’m not overreacting?
There’s no way that other asshat doctor would have figured it out.
You didn’t decide to side with me, because of you and I?
You guys love each other, you can say anything.
I once chocked Cristina.

10/10


SVU 18.03

A mom decides to sleep with an admissions officer to get her son into a prestigious university. The man turns out to be a con. The kid can’t take it.

In 10 minutes she goes from best sex ever to you raped me?
So Noah is not getting into the fancy school?
She slept with the admissions officer?
There is a rapist out there pretending to be you.
Do any of the moms offer sex?
Did you mean to hurt yourself?
I’m saying that what he did to you was rape.
Ask me, that’s rape.
She screwed some guy trying to get her kid into college?
That’s campus security.
Win or lose we need to make a statement.
What you did is not sex, trust me.
Why did you tell me to testify?
How many women will we let this man victimise.?

8/10


SVU 18.04

Amanda’s psycho sister is back! And they explained all her craziness and irrational behavior as bipolar disorder!? Anyone else mad at this? Does this mean we’ll see more of Kim now that she’s living with Amanda? Does this mean she’s a regular now? Will she never do anything stupid again now that they think they know what’s wrong with her?! I am upset. The writers show us that everything is explainable. And we’ve never even seen her ‘depressed’ behavior to assume she’s bipolar. Amanda diagnosed the victim as bipolar and then it turned out her sister is bipolar too. Loved the case and this episode.

I have trust in Jesus.
Women get raped and killed in shelters.
I was raped.
Not here to judge you.
He paid for what he got.
He paid for what he took.
I can’t have my life blown up. Not right now.
Cause he raped you. There’s no such thing in this line of work.
You can’t rape a hooker.
No one deserves to be raped.
I’m a tabloid headline.
I’ve been an SVU detective for 17 years.
And then he did it anyway.
I am ashamed of what I did, but I’m not ashames that I was raped.
How dare you say my body isn’t perfect!
She has a bipolar disorder.
It’s for bipolar disorder.
You didn’t tell me.
You didn’t ask, Amanda.

10/10


The Middle 8.01

What a fantastic episode! No backup plan has always been my motto. Anyone else loves Greer Grammer as Axl’s ‘simple’ girlfriend as much as I do?

I was a girl in the well for 14 weeks.
Team Aniston! I am totally gonna wear this!
You have to be all in. No backup plan!
Put on a bra.What’t the word…um…good!
Oh, what’s the word…dumb!
Axl isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.
At least he can find the shed!
Hello, old friend. Woop! Damn it!
Did he just call me Mike?
Who’s the blonde?
Where’s the bathroom again?
First on the left. First on the left.
This is how bad it is. We’re crossing our fingers for Cindy.

10/10


The Goldbergs 4.03

Adam helped Erica out after she stole his Brady Bunch idea and I love this show.

Enough with your folk tales, old man.
I don’t know and more importantly, I don’t care.
Come on, go on Surfin Saffari with your mama.
This is my fucking nightmare.
Like any sensible adult, I stole an idea from The Brady Bunch.
That’s crazy no one wants to be an urologist.
I’ve never even seen The Brady Bunch.
I’d like to dig in, but this is nuts level, buddy.
Good luck to you, Beverly.
Is there anything I can do?
He just wasn’t the one.
You and Geoff are the real deal.
I’ll come back in another 4 years.

6.5/10


The Goldbergs 4.04

Oh my god, Erica. Dad did something that doesn’t suck!
Don’t record the suggested message!
Shut up, convenience.
And it’s advertised on TV, so you know it’s good.
Because you took me to see Psycho when I was little.
What the fuck is this?!

5/10


How To Get Away With Murder 3.03

This season is so much better than the crappy season 2! And Annalise just slapped her client!

Look straight into the camera.
Go make sure our client doesn’t purchusa Micheala.
I was kidnapped at 16 and he wouldn’t pay the ransom.
I killed a girl.
My lawyer is blackmailing me.
Jamie’s mother still updates the website every week.
It could have been me.
If police haven’t caught my father, I would have ran away and end up on the street.
I can call an annonymous tip.
There’s a dead girl it the freezer and I can’t do anything about it.
Say you’ll take the deal!
I am Annalise Keating’s lawyer.

7/10


American Horror Story 6.01

My first thought on this season was, ‘god, what a beautiful house’. At the first glance, season 6 reminds us of the hunted house in season one. Apparitions walking down the hallways, crazy pig headed people, croatoen, etc. I hate reality TV in general and I’m not a huge fan of crime docs, so I do not like this seasons’ format. I am still pissed that there is no opening credits this year that has always been my absoulte favorite!

Televised dramatization.
Back then, yoga was called streching. It’s something you do before not as excersize.
I got my degree in criminal psychology at UNC.
Did you know prescription painkillers can be more addictive than heroin?
I went from two pills a day to two pills an hour.
He was a serial rapist. A real asshole. I hate assholes.
My brother married one jumpy bitch.
Somebody’s gotta protect you from the wild man in the woods.
The sensors have been triggered by something.
When a mob showes up in the middle of the night with torches, they are not there to welcome you to the neighboorhood.
Someone’s in the house.
Why would someone break into my house to play a home movie?
I followed this woman straight into the forrest.

10/10


American Horror Story 6.04

Denis O’Hare is back!

It was a ritual. A sacrifice. And he was being burned alive.
They never had a chance.
These go back to 1700s.
I saw a dead girl playing in the woods. She was the one who led us to the cellar to the videotapes.
One look at his face and there was no doubt, he’s been through something hellish.
She took my hand and the black veil was lifted.
Blood sacrifised to the antiant gods.
Tell me young man, have you evver heard the term ‘gay for pay’?

9.5/10


American Horror Story 6.05

I hated this episode and it was the one who was supposed to wrap up Ranoake season one and it was just boresome. At least there was The Grunge reference and I enjoyed the scene were all the female servants were thrown into the cellar and their bones were found after years. I hated Evan’s accent. It was slightly British at parts, but he should have had some training. I loved the half the face getting all dark when Evan moved the torch away part.

2/10


Younger 3.02

So Kelsey was raped by her ex friend’s twin brother and they made a joke of it. What is worse, Peter Herman, who also happens to be Mariska Hargitay’s husband, is on the show. Not okay. Younger, strike out one more time and I’m done with you.

I can help out with the tuition.
I can’t let you do that. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.
Will you throw that in the pool?

3.5/10


The Simpsons 28.01

This year women may audition with permission of father, husband and pastor. In wirking.
An old man is prwling the school looking for your children. Please perform for him.
Excellent villain!
Do you ever say anything in a simple way?
Shut up.
Well, that was clear.
Thanks a lot, Lisa. we were getting out of school for this.
You’re telling me that really happened?
They looked just like us, didn’t they?

5/10


The Simpsons 28.02

Such a funny episode, and it got a little nasty at the end too.

You’ll never have this.
Cheap piece of plastic with photos of ugly people?
Maggie talk. No one listen? Maggie never talk again.
I think I remember what happened, Marge.
How could you remember, you were on your phone half the time.
If you can afford good Wifi, you use it.
Oh look, it’s the ugly people from the cube!
Stoned at a funeral.
When did salad get so awful?
Kale ruined everything.
I have a bike too, I keep a lock on it.
I have no interest ain riding your bike.

8/10


The Simpsons 28.03

The dog before me?!
I knew I didn’t pay this month’s mortgage for a reason.

2/10


The Good Place 1.01

Or the only show this season that I actually like. Even though it’s weak and stupid half the time, it’s still good enough for a comedy, and this was a fine trailer.

Relax. Everything’s fine.
Every religion uessed about 5%.
There’s a good place and a bad place. You’re in the good place.
Sponsored by two otters holding hands while they sleep.
I can only play you an audio clip of what’s happening there right now.
I spent half of my life fighting for women rights  and the other half of my life fighting for gay rights.
And he said, you can’t give me both of your kidneys. You’ll die.
But you will live. And I know we only just met on this bus 10 minutes ago, but you seem nice.
What a condensatong bench. Whay does she still have that British accent? No one here has an accent.
I just need to go steal some gold stuff.

8/10


The Good Place 1.02

Much worse than the pilot, still interesting enough.

What kind of pornography would you like to access?
Where am I from?
Is it racist if I say Africa?
Senso…dyne?
That’s a brand of toothpaste.
Have you seen my dog?
Imagine something that brings you joy.
People poking on rollercoasters.
You don’t belong here.

3/10


The Good Place 1.03

Welcome to the neighborhood. Even though we all got here at the same time.
Here’s some dirt I put in a bag, because I’m amazing.
Fun fact, Columbus is in the Bad Place, because of all the raping, slave trade and genocide.
I’m not supposed to be here too.

2.5/10


The Good Place 1.04

And it’s still getting worse.

Your favorite meal was the hunger strike you went on to protest Boliwian sex trafficking.
Tofu?
Be quiet and eat your white sponge.

1/10


The Good Place 1.05

Oh god, now it’s terrible.

It somehow tastes how I felt when my cellphone was fully charged. So relaxed.
Screw all the other complicated theories, why didn;t you start with this one?

1/10

The Simpsons Season 27 Review

07 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by Joanne in the simpsons, tv series

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Season 27 of The Simpsons may have been the weakest yet, but that hasn’t stopped us from having fun. This season Marge and Homer’s relationship was put to test, fortunately at the end it was revealed Homer was just sleeping through their therapy session and it was all a dream, Marge flying to space with Lisa and proving to be the best in all the chores, Bart was killed by Sideshow Bob and The Simpsons went on a trip to Great Canyon episode with Flanders and his kids.

This is how I rated the show over the last 8 months.

1. 8
2. 3.5
3. 2.5
4. 4
5. 3.5
6. 3.5
7. 5.5
8. 2.5
9. 2
10. 3.5
11. 5
12. 3.5
13. 5.5
14. 0.5
15. 5
16. 5.5
17. 10
18.6
19. 10
20. 4.5
21. 2.5
22. 9

Giving us a total of 105.5 points, divided by 22 episodes = 4.8

Some of the best episodes of the season included episode 17 – focusing on Mr. Burns ; and episode number 19 when The Simpsons accompanied by Flanders went on a trip to the Grand Canyon.

The funniest moments and quotes of the season include:

  • Homer’s ‘No one outfats me.’
  • Homer taking a picture of his car to remember where he parked, unfortunately he didn’t think to take a picture of the floor and the parking space number.
  • Smithers being more obsessed with Mr Burns than ever, and Mr Burns blindly saying things like ‘Smithers come up from my rear and grab me.’ could not make it any easier on him, even though he wasn’t complaining.
  • Homer was using his newfound medical condition, narcolepsy as an excuse to everything, and Mr Burns tolerating it not to get sued or something.
  • Marge taking on everyone who’s to lazy to wash their hair everyday, so all of us saying ‘Doesn’t look like she uses that much shampoo either’.
  • ‘Sleeping through our therapy session.’ I mentioned above.
  • ‘The Gilbert family has learnt a valuable lesson. Screw everything.’
  • Apu’s ‘Buddism is really just quitting in yoga pants.
  • Flanders ‘Halloweening The Simpsons’s house’
  • ‘Yes, there are intruders in my basement. Do I have the right to shoot?’ – Fun fact, I have a friend who actually did this, asked the police if he has the right to restrain a guy who attacked him a few days prior and let me just say he ended up with a black eye.
  • Lisa briefly went goth
  • When Homer doodled on official report
  • Homer got a nice seat as people thought he was pregnant.
  • Marge’s conversation about a lady not seeing a single episode of Friends. ‘She’s never seen an episode of Friends.’Even The one with…”No.’
  • ‘Swipe left on that accusation.’ is a phrase we all need to start using
  • When Homer misinterprets yoga class for yogurt class, if only they actually showed it to us ‘I thought it was yogurt class’
  • When Mr Burns dictated his autobiography ‘I’m dictating my autobiography’
  • When Homer couldn’t calculate taxes right ‘The Government owes us 2 million dollars’ ‘Check again’ ‘We owe them 37 dollars’.
  • ‘20% which is what your phone needs to stay in the green’ is another phrase I will start using
  • When Lisa CPR’d a racoon ‘While dozens of unheroic onlookers just stood around’
  • ‘Moms spend their whole lives obsessing over unlikely catastrophes. In space, that’s what you’re supposed to do.’
  • They made a Downton Abbey sketch while the song Downtown played
  • Homer running after an ice cream truck yelling ‘Ice cream! Come back, don’t make me jog’
  • Lisa summing up Homer and Bart as ‘A husband who rarely shows up to work.
    A son that is headed for the chair’
  • Homer wrongly correcting Flanders ‘In America it’s pronounced ‘job’.
  • When we were told to ‘Collect at every age’ and ‘As seen in this episode’
  • When Homer said ‘The most glorious sign is Toilet’
  • Lisa reading a book titled ’10 000 places to see before you’re 10′ I’m sure most of us have seen maybe 2 or 3 of those.
  • The always relatable ‘I’d never think there’s be something I’d want to stare longer than that car wreck on the way here’
  • Homer again saying what we all think ‘I can’t stand rich people.’
    Homer’s ‘Jeez Flanders. You find God in everything’
  • When Homer gave Lisa Annabelle the doll as a present
  • Homer kicking and screaming at a vending machine for speaking French ‘Stop speaking French!’
  • When The Simpsons threw shade on Barbara Streisand ‘Barbara Streisand once forgot the words to a song and didn’t perform for 3 decades’
  • When Marge went to jail
  • ‘Silvester Alone’
  • Milhouse’s ‘I could have married a woman who didn’t look exactly like me, but that would’ve been crazy’
  • When Chief Wiggum did not understand it was his son who got lost
  • And the most important, when they assured us that ‘The Simpsons will never end’

The show averaged at either 4 or 3 throughout the whole season.Falling beyond 4 at episode 8, and getting significantly better at episode 16.

Looking at the numbers from last year,

The average rating of Season 26 was 6.8

Here’s the link to my last year’s rating:

https://reviewthisfilm.wordpress.com/2015/06/19/the-simpsons-season-26/

I only summed up the first half of season 25, and the average grade was: 7.1

Link to the first half of season 25

https://reviewthisfilm.wordpress.com/2013/12/19/the-simpsons-season-25-so-far/

SVU 17.22. Bates Motel 4.08. Bates Motel 4.09. The Middle 7.22. Nashville 4.19. Castle 5.19. Faking It 3.10. The Simpsons 27.22

23 Monday May 2016

Posted by Joanne in american crime story, bates motel, castle, everybody loves raymond, nashville, special victims unit, the middle, the simpsons, tv series, Vera Farmiga

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I finished watching American Crime Story last week, and the only exasperating thing was the fact that Marcia was raped on a trip to Israel, not Italy, but I guess Italy seemed like a safer option. Comedy Central has stopped showing Everybody Loves Raymond reruns, even though they never showed seasons 5-9, I wanted to watch the first four since I never saw it as a whole. I still have Castle to catch up with, but obviously I am postponing it as I don’t want it to end. I still have 6 episodes of Bones to watch that I’m saving for when all other shows end this week, 3 episodes of Scandal, and I haven’t even started second season of Grace and Frankie. I also hope Awkward gets renewed, even though second half of season 5 was awful, but who made them base the whole half season in summer? It would have better if they showed them in college, who cares that they’re all in different ones.

SVU 17.22

Weak first half of the finale. The previous two were absolutely perfect. Robert Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond is still a NYPD cop, just now he rapes too. I am aware of a possible death in the finale and I’m afraid to think who could that be.

I’m gonna be a grandpa?
Cry all you want, you’re just a broke, black crack-whore.
So called victims.
Someone just threatened to kill me.

3/10

Bates Motel 4.08

I’ll always remember that you helped my mom at a time when she was so confused and vulnerable.
We as in? Is this how it’s going to be from now on?
I couldn’t breathe without you.
I understand the bond between us, the cord.

5/10

Bates Motel 4.09

I hated this episode, because I truly believed they’d bring Norma back. Gas poisoning was not how how Norma died in the Psycho franchise, so I thought she’d be okay. I thought the show would end with Norma’s death, so I wasn’t prepared as I was sure we’ll still have one more year. Dylan fought with Norma before her death and now he’ll feel guilty. I’m just hoping he’ll be back for season 6, and him and Emma were not just written off the show. I am afraid to watch the finale, as Norman is stuffing Norma’s body and I would be okay with it, if he wasn’t stuffing a character I’ve loved for the last 4 years.

Yeah, well, are you dead?
Norma, wake up!
Mother?

4/10

The Middle 7.22

What a lovely season finale. I cried when Frankie said Axl was finally growing up and when Brick sang and when Frankie told Sue to have a great summer.

Axl being Axl scored the cushiest job of all time.
How about peaked in high school.
I hate drama, I mean, I love drama, but the good kind.
Who knows maybe that’s why he stopped getting taller.
All that height and you accomplish nothing.
You may think you’re cool, but you’re not. At the end of the day, you’re just a guy who missed out on a lot of fun stuff.
I guess it took the 10 year old version of him to brung it out in him.
Yep, my boy was finally growing up.
I need to speak with the principal, so get her or him.
And we’ve only just began.
Have a great summer.
You fought for me.
I would have just quit.
It is in your genes.
Take care of your brother.
Axl met the love of his life, but that’s a story for another day.

10/10

Nashville 4.19

The show is getting worse with each episode and I hoped they’d give us a nice goodbye. I downloaded Rayna’s song the minute the episode ended. I was so happy when I saw Juliette sent Glenn to protect Maddie. Pretty shocked about Maddie using Rayna’s last name as her stage name, but I guess it’s understandable.

I just wanna have a breakdown.
To hell with looking for that silver lightning.
Someone’s giving her some really bad advice.
She calls him his good luck charm.
Rayna always wanted to sing.
Maddie James?
And suddenly she’s using my last name?

5.5/10

Castle 5.19

A case about a guy who just kept returning to the living.

We become normal.
No Castle, you will never be normal.
If I were an expert on character, which I am.
Why the hell won’t you die!?
As long as I’m with you, I’ll go anywhere.

7/10

Faking It 3.10

I didn’t know Amy and Karma were supposed to end up together! The show’s creator tweeted that they would have dated for half of last season. And let’s be honest Karmy was the only reason I got into the show. And now what? Everyone is with someone they weren’t even supposed to date and the show was cancelled. I really hope it gets picked up by Netflix or some other company. The series finale was completely dreadful, just like this half season was.

With Sabrina I could have…
What I couldn’t give you.
I thought you killed her.
Lying about my sexuality made me see the truth.

2/10

The Simpsons 27.22

I am glad at least the finale was funny with couch manual and Marge ending up in jail. Chief Wiggum not understanding Rulf was his son Ralph was a nice touch, especially for the finale.

Starts stupid, ends stupid.
Silvester Alone.
Marge, you’re being arrested?!
Incarcerate Marge Simpson’s mother!
I could have married a woman who didn’t look exactly like me, but that would’ve been crazy.
Your husband never filed Bart’s birth certificate. Bart isn’t legally your son.
All kids are accounted for except Rulf Wiggum. Oh, busy.

9/10

Greys 12.23. The Good Wife 7.19. The Good Wife 7.21. Faking It 3.06. The Family 1.08. The Family 1.10. The Family 1.12. The Simpsons 27.20. The Simpsons 27.21. The Catch 1.07

19 Thursday May 2016

Posted by Joanne in Ellen Pompeo, faking it, grandfathered, lost, the catch, the family, the good wife, the simpsons, tv series

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Time for reviews. Some of the last ones this year.

Greys 12.23

Meredith finally hooked up with the kiwi boy! Unfortunately Ellen said not to get our hopes up. Which I did, the minute he was introduced. No one else would ever be this suitable to be McDreamy 2.0. This episode gave me the awkward cringy feeling that Shonda may try to get Meredith and Alex together which is awful cause they’re basically brother and sister. And she already did that with Izzie and George and we remember how well that turned out. Owen sold Derek’s trailer without asking Meredith. And now he’s marrying Amelia one episode after they got engaged. In the meantime, Jo refused to marry Alex, and I am honestly not even bothering to guess why. I never liked Jo. Meredith told Amelia to stop being so confident and cocky and copying Derek, and I don’t even think that was unnecessary. After 12 years we finally got to see the exact way from the ORs to the gallery and it was satisfying after I lost the sense of what the hospital looks like after they introduced the enormous set of stairs a few episodes back.

Now you even have his confidence. Get your own life.
You’re hot, you’re smart, you’re funny.
You’re gonna be my best man.
Then hell, I say go for it.

8.5/10

The Good Wife 7.19

A funny episode. I have a feeling we’ll miss this show next year. Mondays will feel a lot empty without The Good Wife.

You will not embarrass my husband.
Your honor.
Your worship.
What?
Your worship.
Could you live in Canada?
We request asylum.
3 years.
Oh my god.

6/10

The Good Wife 7.21

Why did they destroy the whole floor at the very end of the show? Was that really necessary? Diane ruined her relationship with Kurt right before Alicia buried it completely. For a one-to-last episode it was extremely disappointing, but so was the series finale.

No I mean construction.
What construction?
They had the wrong floor.
We should expand to the 29th floor.
Kurt, I’m sorry.

4.5/10

Faking It 3.06

Why is everyone so sex crazed in this high school?

Stop fucking my mom.
Are you saying you would do her under different circumstances?
Hello boyfriend, you just got back from the gym?

3/10

The Family 1.08

Finally a great episode. So the girl who was sleeping with her brother on Private Practice is just as much of a psycho as her boyfriend?

We’ll check if there’s any sex offenders in the area.
There’s one.
Really?
How close?
Close.
You need a friendly neighborhood pedophile.
You would be sitting in the corner slitting your wrists.
Mom, why?
You’re my son.

10/10

The Family 1.10

How old are you?
19.
Nice to be here.
Why is that?
Irony.
The dirty inmates.
That’s when they clean the dirty.
What’s in the bag?
The rest of my life.
You’re gonna tell everyone that I id this.
He would have to admit that he had two kids down there.
There was a boy 12 years ago when we used to live.
Monsters don’t remember names. Girl scouts do.
Do you think Adam would have liked this?
We lost a child.
And you have two left.
I hang out with sexual predators and we meet on Monday evenings and swap stories and play softball.
Our lives are screwed.
I googled it. When you’re younger, you bounce back, kids are plastic.

10/10

The Family 1.12

This is exactly why you don’t watch shows at work, I missed the most important thing! And then read about it online! Spoilers ahead, do not continue if you don’t want to know how the whole series ends. I missed the part when the pedophile’s wife heard someone kicking in the shed and her finding Adam is still alive and getting him out of there! I thought they already got to Canada and she was shocked to see a shed next to the house, as she knew him kidnapping a boy would happen again. So I continue watching while working and then suddenly the pedophile lays shot in the woods, uhm what? And then at the very end Adam tells Ben he’s coming home. I missed the whole pedophile’s girlfriend/Adam alliance. The real Adam was in the shed the whole time. I am pissed. I need to watch the ending again.

I don’t care if he had an elephant.
That was Adam, I am Ben.
For 10 years he was ket there like an animal. It’s not his fault he became one.
It’s a desire that you know you shouldn’t have but you want it anyway.
That’s rape.
Wanting it doesn’t make you a monster. Taking it does.
It’s some other kid taken even before Adam was taken.
You took my life, I’m coming to get it back.

10/10

The Simpsons 27.20

Homer gave Lisa Annabelle the doll as a present. Witty and fun as the Simpsons go to France.

Chubby dude in a tiny car.
Stop speaking French.

4.5/10

The Simpsons 27.21

You forget most of that’s hair.
Barbara Streisand once forgot the words to a song and didn’t perform for 3 decades.
I’m kidding The Simpsons will never end.

2/10

The Catch 1.07

So Penny from Lost (‘Not Penny’s boat’) is now Alice’s therapist, that can’t end well. Still not into this show and couldn’t be more shocked that it got renewed.

Black dot means I need help but It’s dangerous to ask.
Tell her everything or you’re wasting your time.

4/10

Castle 8.18. Greys 12.21. Bates Motel 4.07. Nashville 4.18. The Middle 7.22. The Family 1.11. Grandfathered 1.21. When Calls the Heart 3.05. Scandal 5.18. Scandal 5.19. The Simpsons 27.19.The Catch 1.01. The Catch 1.02. The Catch 1.03. The Catch 1.04. The Catch 1.05. The Catch 1.06. Faking it 3.07. Faking It 3.08.

13 Friday May 2016

Posted by Joanne in bates motel, castle, faking it, grandfathered, greys anatomy, nashville, scandal, spencer locke, the catch, the family, the middle, the simpsons, tv series, Vera Farmiga, when calls the heart

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Castle was cancelled, at least they won’t have to kill Beckett off.

Nashville was cancelled too, after escaping death the last three years.

Grandfathered was cancelled.

The Family was cancelled after just one season! I know ratings were bad, but the show itself isn’t.

And The Catch was surprisingly renewed.

I’ve lost especially lot shows this year. It started with Downton Abbey, then The Good Wife, then it was announced Bones is ending next year, then Switched at Birth and now all these.

Reviews of this year’s seasons will be posted with my ratings the minute all the shows go on hiatus.

I’m picking out new shows to watch over summer. Sure I’m excited for Scream, but other than that there’s only Pretty Little Liars. Since you know, Orange is the New Black is a one day thing. I haven’t seen Grace and Frankie yet and I’m trying to figure out which shows to start this summer. I’m thinking Weeds, Awkward, The Goldbergs and catching up on Ray Donovan. I definitely want a few more as that’s the only way I can survive work. I tried watching Buffy, but I just wasn’t interested like the other 5 times I started watching it. Episode 2 and I was already unimpressed. I will probably watch something from Netflix, Rake, Miss Fishers Mysteries and we’ll see what else. I wanted to give Everwood a try but it was just as boring as Summerland. I will probably catch up on 90210, I stopped watching after season 3. I’m afraid I won’t find a new show and I’ll be stuck rewatching the 75 shows I’ve followed over the years.

Speaking of shows I’m not watching, I watched that episode of CSI:Cyber that had Spencer Locke in it and it was quite good. Spencer is the only ex-teen actress who’s career I’ve been following since Resident Evil 3 circa 2007, from project to project (she was amazing in Landmine Goes Click, a great rape-revenge horror). I gave the episode 8.5/10, but it did not convince me to start watching the show, it was just cancelled too.

Castle 8.18

I am starting with Castle this week, because as you saw above, it has been cancelled. This episode was actually fun. Some of them just are, as this is more of a comedy show than a crime series. It focuses around Aladin and Castle is all over Jin’s lamp. How did they even do research for this episode?

And had her beheaded so no other man can have her.
Story teller inside me.
He was a tomb rider.
He found Aladin’s lamp!
Don’t say that he wished for it.
I need to start making a wish list.
Can you make sure she gets the dibs on first rub?
Whatever clearly legal endevour you’re engaging in.
I really wish…
You did have the time to creep over to the lamp to rub the lamp, and wish upon the lamp.
Make belief time with Castle.
Your reality challenged husband.

10/10

Greys 12.21

Since when are there so many stairs? And since when is the hospital painted red? I really thought it was the court’s building, not the hospital! Shonda’s shows are always sex crazed, last episode was about Stephanie and her naughty sex life with the patient and this week everyone saw Owen’s package. I really hope Bailey doesn’t divorce Ben. Arizona is my favorite character since Meredith took Callie’s side.

Tucker had a fit.
Very PG, nothing like we saw this morning.
Did you hear about the fake leg? I’m probably not the best runner in a crisis.

8.5/10

Bates Motel 4.07

With my stepfather.
Have you been sleeping with him!?
Don’t embarrass yourself by lying to me.
If I’m near the person who makes me feel comfortable and whole and safe.
We’re gonna start with 3 sessions per week.
Alex please, please, please.
You brought me a big beautiful TV and I screwed it up.
Welcome home.
Thank you, mother.

7.5/10

Nashville 4.18

We’re saying goodbye to Nashville and this is what they show us? I know they booked Elton John for episode 4.20, but the story lines are just awful this season. Maddie is a brat, I can’t believe she got emancipated. Also little Daphne just lost a recording contract thanks to Maddie. I bet Rayna will make her wait till she’s 18 to sign her independently.

My song is on the radio! My song is on the damn radio!
Glen, tweet whatever you want from my account.
It only works cause we’re the exes.
And then you finally heard it and it doesn’t matter anymore?

5.5/10

The Middle 7.22

The Middle has 24 episodes this season? I’m impressed. It’s the most underrated comedy show out there, and it’s sad that so little people watch it. Season 7 was a challenge, since both Axl and Sue are out of high school, and let’s be honest there’s only so many things you can come up with to do in college. High school years were always fun, especially for Sue. But then when you think about it, Sue makes even college cool. I mean Axl’s story lines are always so boring, just what college years are for people. There’s always something happening with Sue, even though I feel like there could be even more.

Who even eats lettuce. A rabbit?
Wait we used to have a rabbit. Where’d that rabbit go?
I’m paying it forward, backward and sideway.
She said she forgot to set the DVR to record Castle.
Such a clever show.
If there’s anyone who belolngs is a country themed amusment park it’s you.
And you’ll be there with Brad.
How the hell am I failing my psych class?
You see the list? Scroll down till you get to Castle.

7.5/10

The Family 1.11

Only the ‘understanding a pedophile and a sex crime victim parts are good. No one cares about the election. In this episode the extremely annoying and slutty reporter found Ben’s biological mother, while Claire found out it was Ben who killed Adam.

None of this makes me a kidnapper, at most it makes me a country song.
Just enough to build your trust, so it was confusing when he crossed the line.
We both know how this is gonna end for me. It’s not in a hug.
Sex offenders registry. It’s a national database. You gotta do it yearly.
They notify your employer.
Because I watched your son too.
I know why you’ve been weird or depressed or whatever.
How do you know. That I’m gay?
I think I just came out to you.
Ben looked at the man who took my son and he let him go.
He didn’yt kill Adam. Ben did.
I’m Adam.
I’m Hank.
What was his name? Your little boy?
Ben.

10/10

Grandfathered 1.21

The show started off nicely, and now it’s a mess. I am only happy that Paget and John’s characters are getting together! And I Josh Peck is hilarious, check him out on Vine.

Oh my God, he looks like Glen Close.
He would have liked my family.
One of the guests is wearing a Tshirt that says Gremlins 2 now on VHS.

2.5/10

When Calls the Heart 3.05

I still haven’t seen the season finale and I only finished watching 3.07 this week. This just shows how uneventful this show is.

I always thought it would be easy to be a writer.
It’s much easier to think of yourself as a writer than it is to sit down and write.
The whole world will be my stage.
Every heroine needs an annoying neighbor.
You do know that moving pictures are silent?

4/10

Scandal 5.18

I just wrote about Landmine Goes Click being a good example of rape and revenge genre. In this episode we found out Jake’s father used to molest his sister, so Jake used Ronan’s training to avenge his sister.

What kind of a bout allows his sister to be raped?

3.5/10

Scandal 5.19

What happened to this show this season? I want the election already, and I want Mellie to win.

You can come work for me, little Abby.

4.5/10

The Simpsons 27.19

What a fun episode.

In America it’s pronpunced ‘job’.
Collect at every age.
As seen in this epiosde.
The most glorious sign. ‘Toilet’.
10 000 lace to see before you’re 10.
I’d never think there’s be something I’d want to stare longer than that car wereck on the way here
You’re 180?
That’s what my blood pressure says.
I can’t stand rich people.
Billioners retreat.
Let’s think about it quietly.
Jeez Flanders. You find God in everything.
Big Maggie.

10/10

The Catch 1.01

It’s a pretty boring show, and the only reason I’m still watching is who they cast as the leads. Mireille Enos and Peter Krause. My mom always says Lauren Graham’s boyfriend is so handsome, my dad says that’s Adam and I am happy to see Linden back on my screen.

He never looks at the camera.
He doesn’t ask for anything, so you give him everything.

5.5/10

The Catch 1.02

She paints over the edges.
A 75 year old man. He died the day we met.

3/10

The Catch 1.03

And your credit cards seem suspiciosly new.
I won’t come looking for you becuase I already found you.

7/10

The Catch 1.04

Getting worse with each episode.

It was real and I love you.

6/10

The Catch 1.05

Ben, my name is Ben. Benjamin Jones.

5.5/10

The Catch 1.06

2.5/10

Faking It 3.07

So awful I’m glad it’s only 20 minutes long.

Pretty sure go fuck yourself means we’re done talking.

0.5/10

Faking It 3.08

Why am I still watching this awful show? I keep complaining about it every week and yet I still watch it.

Just pick bisexual so we can have Christmas.

2/10

Remember when WordPress told you what number of posts you’ve posted so far the moment you posted and then gave you some random topics to write about? Why is that no longer the case? Now you have to click on Blog Posts to see how many you’ve posted and this is my 296th post! Okay, I’m off.

Thanks for reading,

Jo

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Welcome to ReviewThisFilm

This website started in 2010 as weekly reviews of movies and tv episodes, and a diary of the 700 new films I watched every year. Today it’s a place for me to write a few words on films and tv shows that leave some sort of impact on me. I no longer write in depth reviews, mostly thanks to bad habits gained by spending many hours a day on Letterboxd.

If you have a film you would like me to watch and review,  please leave a comment.

Enjoy!

– Joanne

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About the Author

All I do is watch movies, the good, the bad and the ugly. Sometimes I make my own.

Check out my latest film (120K+ views on Youtube):

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I’ve seen over 6000 films and 220 TV shows. I have a degree in Film Production, and wrote my dissertation on Italian neorealism. I mostly gravitate towards social issues films, anything Ken Loach, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Roberto Rossellini, Vittorio De Sica or Jafar Panahi, etc.

I rate films within genre. I watch a lot of films on Mubi, Filmbox Arthouse. My favourite directors are Yasujiro Ozu, Ken Loach, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Zhang Yimou, Roberto Rossellini, Ingmar Bergman, Brian De Palma, Vittorio De Sica and Andrzej Wajda. My favourite actresses have always been Jodie Foster, Sally Field and Julianne Moore. I’m nostalgic and reminisce a lot. I’m at the cinema 10 times a month. And I’m a Polish-British millennial.

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Recent Posts

  • A Quiet Place: Day One Film Review
  • Longlegs Film Review
  • Am I OK? Film Review
  • The Substance Film Review
  • Film Reviews: Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields. The Quiet Girl. The Whale. A Man Called Otto. 80 For Brady. Moving On. The Blue Angel. Orphan The First Kill. Rugrats: The Movie
  • Film Reviews: No Time to Die. Hair. Luckiest Girl Alive. 13: The Musical. Glass Onion. Don’t Worry Darling. The Watcher. Halloween Ends. Everything Everywhere All At Once
  • Film Reviews: Don’t Make Me Go. The Life Ahead. Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts. The Brood. Walkabout. The Poseidon Adventure. The Ridiculous 6. Rome, Open City. Ivan, The Terrible, Part 3
  • Film Reviews: Jurassic World Dominion. Top Gun: Maverick. Falling. Men. Maid. Louder Than Bombs. The Father. Burlesque. Goodbye Soviet Union
  • Film Reviews: Petite Maman. Phoenix Rising. Onibaba. Downton Abbey: A New Era. Firestarter. Wonder Woman. Never Gonna Snow Again. Hud. No Doubt: Live in the Tragic Kingdom
  • Film Reviews: West Side Story. Marry Me. Eve’s Bayou. Sing 2. Zulu. The 355. Studio 666. The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window. And Just Like That… The Documentary
  • Film Reviews: Last Night in Soho. Dear Evan Hansen. Halloween Kills. The Addams Family 2. In the Mood For Love. Cloudy Mountain. Suspria. Thirst. Batman Returns
  • Film Reviews: Bonnie and Clyde. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The Many Saints of Newark. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Dwarfs. 2:22. Story. Crows. The Ghost Club
  • Film Reviews: Licorice Pizza. Spencer. King Richard. Scream. Suzhou River. Beijing Bicycle. The Rescue. Country Strong. Gwen Stefani: You Make It Feel Like Christmas
  • 15 Best Films Watched in Cinemas in 2021
  • 15 Best Films Watched on Amazon Prime Video in 2021
  • 20 Best Films Watched on HBO Go in 2021
  • 35 Best Films Watched on Mubi in 2021
  • 25 Best Films Watched on Netflix in 2021
  • Film Reviews: Don’t Breathe 2. CODA. Stillwater. Jungle Cruise. Amelie. Mary and Max. A Silent Voice. O Brother Where Art Thou? Captivated The Trials of Pamela Smart
  • Film Reviews: Sneakers. The Other Guys. The Mitchells vs The Machines. Paul Blart Mall Cop 2. The Briefing. Jude. All Good Things. The Producers. The War of the Roses
  • Film Reviews: Candyman. The Night House. Be Natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy Blache. Frances Ha. Once Around. Battle Royale. 3 Faces. Legend. Little House: The Last Farewell
  • Film Reviews: Old. Black Widow. The Forever Purge. Uncle Frank. The Silence. Images. Troop Zero. November. Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: Till Death Do Us Part. Framing Britney Spears. Paris When It Sizzles. Runt Page.
  • Film Reviews: Cruella. Dream Horse. Fear Street Part 1: 1994. Arizona Dream. Lords of Chaos. Destination Wedding. Made in Italy. Balto. Here and Now
  • Film Reviews: Sound of Metal. The Passion of Joan Arc. Punishment Park. A Quiet Place Part 2. Peter Rabbit 2: The Runaway. Rocco and His Brothers. My Week with Marilyn. Blue Dessert. The Last Family
  • Film Reviews: The Conjuring 3: The Devil Made Me Do It. Friends The Reunion. Those Who Wish Me Dead. Wake in Fright. The Cold Day in the Park. Plan 9 from Outer Space. Krisha. Fantastic Planet. 300 Miles To Heaven.
  • Film Reviews: The Woman in the Window. Under the Silver Lake. The Legend of Bagger Vance. The Haunting of Hill House. Overboard. Black Mirror: Arkangel. Little Giants. Isn’t It Romantic. Float
  • Film Reviews: Gentleman Jack. The Fountain. Muriel’s Wedding. Mulan. Isle of Dogs. The Lie. Love, Antosha. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. The Fruit Fix
  • Film Reviews: I Care a Lot. Kajillionaire. Amy. Tales From the Darkside. Strange Planet. Across the Universe. Return to Horror High. R.L. Stine Monsterville: The Cabinet of Souls. The Expecting
  • Film Reviews: Seaspiracy. Shoplifters. Quick Change. Unfaithful. Chef. Cape Fear. Red River. Fatal Honeymoon. A Week Away
  • Film Reviews: Demi Lovato: Dancing With The Devil. Umberto D. Mommy. High Life. Ambush at Cimarron Pass. Big Sky. Dark Angel. Fallen Hearts. Gates of Paradise
  • Film Reviews: Gosford Park. Deadly Illusions. Postcards From the Edge. The Exorcist III. American Woman. Blades of Glory. Rules Don’t Apply. The Great Wall. The Town
  • Film Reviews: Our Souls at Night. Disappearance at Clifton Hill. Operation Varsity Blues: The College Admissions Scandal. Goon. Stripes. Tartuffe. Red Joan. Hailey Dean Mysteries: A Prescription for Murder. Death to 2020
  • Film Reviews: Penguin Bloom. Allen v. Farrow. All the Bright Places. Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cycil Hotel. To All the Boys: Forever and Always. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. Where’d You Go Bernadette. Catfight. How to Deal
  • Film Reviews: Palm Springs. Zodiac. Conviction. The Love Letter. Ingrid Bergman: In Her Own Words. Golden Exits. Spaceballs. Brave Miss World. Dangerous Lies
  • Film Reviews: Promising Young Woman. The Map of Tiny Perfect Things. The Croods: New Age. Music. The Out of Towners. Red Sorghum. To Live. Suffragette. Sweet Nothing In My Ear
  • Film Reviews: Amore. Inside the Twin Towers. Candyman. Father of the Bride. What Women Want. Splash. Dead Husbands. The Straight Story. Noel
  • Film Reviews: The Glorias. Copycat. Pedestrian Subway. My Depression: The Up and Down and Up of It. Nightwalk. One Angry Juror. The Mirror. Strike. Vegas Vacation
  • Film Reviews: The Towering Inferno. Happiest Season. Little Fires Everywhere. Two Women. The City of Your Final Destination. Cafe. Peter’s Forest. The Christmas Chronicles 2. The Secret Garden
  • 250 Best Films Watched in 2020
  • 45 Best TV Scenes of 2020
  • 50 Best Films Watched on Netflix in 2020
  • 40 Best Films Watched on Mubi in 2020
  • 40 Best Films Watched on HBO Go in 2020
  • 10 Best Films Watched in Cinemas in 2020
  • TV Shows of 2020
  • Film Reviews: Freaky. The Undoing. Inferno. Decalogue 7. Rush. Taylor Swift: Folklore – The Long Pond Studio Sessions. Words on Bathroom Walls. The Sea of Trees. If I Only Had Christmas
  • Film Reviews: A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood. Offside. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. The Notorious Betty Page. Altitude. Backdraft. Being John Malkovich. Don’t Look Back. Rabbit
  • Film Reviews: Run. Sorry We Missed You. Can You Ever Forgive Me? The Long Way Home. The Prestige. All That Jazz. Grey Gardens. Mercury Rising. An American Tail
  • Film Reviews: The Craft: Legacy. Horizon Line. Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight. The Other Lamb. After-School Special. Scarface. What We Do In The Shadows. The House That Jack Built. The Turning. We Have Always Lived in the Castle. A Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting. Conte D’Ete
  • Film Reviews: Ammonite. Honest Thief. Pixie. A Year of The Quiet Sun. I’m Thinking of Ending Things. Enola Holmes. The Ground Beneath My Feet. Valley of Love. Gay USA

About me

I am the dark and twisty Meredith Grey, the mad Dexter Morgan, hoping to grow up to be a little more like the wise, but fun Nora Walker. I am an aspiring filmmaker. My favorite actresses are Jodie Foster, Sally Field and Julianne Moore. Favorite genre – psychological drama. I watch anything with a sexual or mental abuse plot. I used to be a horror freak. I am obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy, SVU and many more. My other interests include making oil and pencil portraits and wildlife conservation. I cannot say no to beautiful landscapes, travel, Aussie accent, TV/film quotes and avocados. I have recently moved back from Australia to the UK. I’ve been running this blog for the last 9 years. Here I comment on films and episodes I watch. Enjoy! – Joanne

currently following on tv

currently (re)watching

dexter final season

shows I need to catch up on

Feud
Transparent
Gentleman Jack

will watch at the cinema

Last films watched at the pictures that I loved

the substance
blink twice

Archives

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my twitter bios

15.04.2011 ‘You forgot the number one rule about remakes: never fuck with the original.’ (Scream 4)

01.06.2011 ‘We need to become doers.’ 2×16 ‘You’re a doer, remember?’ 5×22 (Greys)

5.08.2011 “It’s just… Meredith always makes me think screwed up people have a chance.” (Greys)

9.10.2011 ‘You be wowed, I’ll be drunk.’ (The Big C)

10.11.2011 ‘George is dead and Izzie is gone and we’re all different. We’re different.’ (Greys)

17.12.2011 ‘I thought I was headed in the right direction. My Dark Passenger back behind the wheel. But if I was so sure I knew where I was going…How did I get so lost?’ (Dexter)

23.01.2012 ‘You’re drowning, Grey.’ (Greys)

18.11.2012 ‘You’re a serial killer and I’m more fucked up than you are.’ (Dexter)

7.05.2013 ‘I think my antidepressants just kicked in.’ (The Big C)

10.05.2015 ‘The sad widow is my friend. My best friend.’ (Greys)

My tumblr titles

10.10.10 – ‘Like I said, I’m screwed.’ (Greys)

15.04.11 – ‘It’s just a good story.’ (Greys)

22.06.11 – ‘I should have fought for you, Violet.’ (Private Practice)

20.12.11 – ‘I am a father, a son, a serial killer.’ (Dexter)

8.08.12 – ‘You have to pick the girl who lives.’ (The Big C)

5.10.12 – ‘You are my person. You will always be my person.’ (Greys)

10.11.12 – ‘Thirty second dance party. Dance or you’re fired.’ (Greys)

19.02.13 – ‘There’s nowhere on Earth I’d rather be right now.’ (Castle)

29.07.13 – ‘The family that kills together.’ (Dexter)

15.01.15 – ‘Let’s go home.’ (Parenthood)

20.05.2015 – ‘The sad widow is my friend, my best friend.’ (Greys)

Calendar

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favourite film and tv quotes

‘When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I’ve met you and moved to Sydney, I haven’t listened to one Abba song. That’s because my life is as good as an Abba song. It’s as good as Dancing Queen.’ (Muriel’s Wedding)

‘I used to think about
your life in New York. I tried to imagine your room. I kept track of the time difference, so I  knew when you were awake and when you were asleep.’ (Disobedience)

‘Nothing’s clean, Howard. But we do our best, right?’ (The Aviator)

‘No, I’m not quitting. I don’t quit things.’
‘No, actually you do. Your mother quit your father. Your father quit you. You quit your boyfriend and if I read your hospital chart correctly you quit your life momentarily on a couple of occasions. You quit. It’s what you know how to do.’ (Greys)

‘Where the hell was I that year?’
‘Your were watching television’. (Everybody Loves Raymond)

‘It’s impossible to worry about anything else when there’s blood coming out of you.’
(Short Term 12)

‘I wanted it to happen. And when we were girls… Even then, it was the same. It’s always been this way! I have always wanted it.’ (Disobedience)

‘Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes you play games in your head. You make up someone, someone good.’ (Greys)

‘There comes a moment when our lives change forever. The moment we admit our weaknesses, the moment we rise to a challenge, the moment we accept a sacrifice, or let a loved one go. And sometimes the change in our lives is an answer to our prayers.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Yesterday I went to the movies all day by myself. One after the other. I’ve never done that before. I had a really happy day.’ (Doing Time for Patsy Cline)

‘I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are going to change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed a feel like I might die today.’ (Greys)

‘She saved me my whole life. Without her, I’m nothing.’ (The Favourite)

‘Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t. In face of what we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that make us hold it together.’  (Greys)

‘Bree sobbed quietly in the restroom for five miutes, but her husband never knew, because when Bree finally emerged, she was perfect.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘I am not food, you cannot just eat and eat.’ (The Favourite)

‘I don’t love him.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘No!’
‘Don’t take me for a fool Olive,  I’m many things but I’m not a fool.’
‘I know that, you’re brilliant.’
‘Don’t you see, it’s over. Whatever this is, was, it’s over.’
‘I love You.’ (Professor Marston and the Wonder Women)

‘At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing, is reason enough to celebrate.’ (Greys)

‘Many years ago, a neighbour and a good friend of ours took her life, and that left us all heartbroken and perplexed. But somehow, when I was alone in that hotel room, I forget about all the pain that she caused. In those awful moments, I thought maybe she had the answer.‘ (Desperate Housewives)

‘What happened last year when you fell in the water?’
‘I almost drowned. Do you think I did that for kicks?’
‘You put your hand in a body cavity that contained unexploded ammunition.’
‘I was trying to save a patient!’
‘Why is it that every other person in that room had the sense to hit the deck? You know people run away from this line between life and death. You seem to stand on it and wait for a strong wind to sway you one way or the other. You’re careless with your life. You’re not slitting your wrists but you’re careless. Probably because your mother told you you were a waste of space on this planet. The problem is you believed her. And if you don’t want out one of these days you’re going to die because of it.’  (Greys)

‘This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life. I met them the day they moved in. And I saw what they brought with them. Beautiful dreams for the future. And quiet hopes for a better life. Not just for themselves, but for their children, too. If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trick is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn’t see coming, but that’s really the point. Don’t you think?’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Was your life not working when you let that slip out from under you?’
‘When are you going to stop suggesting that I’m suicidal?’
‘When you start acting like someone that wants to be alive.’
‘Give me my chart.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not suicidal, and if it says that I am, then it’s wrong.’ (Greys)

‘There is nothing wrong with me.’
‘Then show me your arm.’ (Degrassi)

‘Look, my whole life, I have been the freak. The girl who nobody picked for dodgeball. The girl who didn’t have a mom. The girl who dressed funny because it was her dad buying her clothes. And then, tonight I looked at these people, and I thought maybe there’s a future where I don’t have to be a freak. Maybe I can be who I am and that’s okay.’ (Everything Sucks)

‘Dr, I have been this way since…since I can remember. There is no cure.’ (American Horror Story)

‘He was so crazy about me, I couldn’t breathe. So we tried drinking our way back into love, but it never made sense in the morning. So I ran. And every time I came back, he was here. And he was still crazy about me.’ (My Blueberry Nights)

‘Bree van de Kamp had always wanted to live her life with elegance and grace. That is also how she wanted to die. Her plan was to pour herself a glass of her favorite chardonnay, put on her most stylish nightgown and leave behind a note on embossed stationery.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘All we have is this moment. The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So be… here…. now.’ (Six Feet Under)

‘On the train coming here, we were in the same cart, I saw you, you were reading and you feel asleep. I didn’t dare to look at you, you were so beautiful, it was scary. Afterwards,  I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It made me smile. Then I thought of all the men who would get to hold you, who’d make you laugh. How lucky they were.’ (Enemy at the Gates)

‘It was a good day. Maybe even a great day. Even when it was hard, I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought I cant do this, I cant do this alone. I close my eyes and imagine myself doing it, and I did, I blocked out the fear, and I did it.’ (Greys)

‘There comes a time when we must expose our weaknesses. When our secrets can no longer remain private, when our solitude can no longer be denied, when our pain can no longer be ignored, but sometimes we feel so alone that a weakness we thought we’d overcome suddenly becomes too strong to fight.’ (Desperate Housewives)

‘Why did you get married, Esti? Why didn’t you just leave? So everything was all right when I left?’
‘No. I was ill.’
‘What sort of ill?’
‘In my head.’
‘If I had to sleep with a man, why not with our best friend?’
‘Oh, Esti…’
‘It hasn’t been a complete disaster.’
‘And that’s enough?! Do you have to have sex every Friday?’
‘It’s expected.’
‘It’s medieval. What happened to you?’
‘Nothing. You happened to me. And then I started teaching and that became important. I give them ambition.’
‘To do what? Push out seven babies and be a good wife?’
‘Don’t. Don’t. I help them to value themselves.’
‘Okay, but what about you?’
‘That is me. And you? Are you happy?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Have you been with other women?’
‘No. Not really. And you?’
‘No.’
‘But, Esti… Do you still
only fancy women?’ (Disobedience)

‘OK, then, listen. Let’s not get caught.’
‘What are you talkin’ about?’
‘Let’s keep goin’!’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘Go.’
‘You sure?’
‘Yeah. Yeah.’ (Thelma & Louise)

‘She let me live at Nora’s house. She let me believe that I was a part of their family. I fell in love with that family. What am I supposed to do, just sit there, pretend I’m related to them? I was happy. For the first time in my life I was happy.’ (Brothers and Sisters)

‘You will be left all alone with your bitterness and your rage and your knowledge that you loved her and she loved you and you threw it away for them.’
‘Do you love her?’
‘Yes.’
‘And Have you always?’
‘Yes.’
‘So then ask her.’
‘Olive, will you forgive me?’ (Professor Marston and the Wonder Women)

‘No razors, no scissors, no fucking freedom.’
(Short Term 12)

‘You can’t take a picture of this. It’s already gone.’ (Six Feet Under)

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